A/N:

Rin's Age: 18

Sesshoumaru's age: 900 in human terms; 22 in demon terms

'Italics' -- Thoughts

'Bold Italics'-- Conscience

CAPITAL WORDS – Emphasis

Bold -- Flashback

Hello people! I'm back! Sorry for not updating last week as I have exams on. But do not worry, now that I'm back I'll give you more exciting chapters. This is chapter twelve for ya… I know it's kinda short, but hey! You can't blame me, I wrote this over during the weekend so I hadn't really got time to lengthen it. Ok I shan't disturb you. You go on and read… oh another one more thing: PLEASE REVIEW AFTER READING!

Disclaimers: ………………… isn't it obvious? I don't own anyone of them! Sheesh…


Chapter Twelve: ­

It had been five days since Sesshoumaru saw Rin after their coincidental meeting at the garden. And until today not even her shadow had befallen on him. He couldn't hear any of Rin's laughter or squeals. Every now and then he could smell her tears, her frustration, sometimes her anger.

Just like the change in Rin, the palace seemed to change too. Ever since he told her that he did not love her, the whole palace seemed dead. There was no life in it.

She had said that she would confront him later that week. However she hadn't…yet.

Part of him was grateful that she hadn't come to meet him while the other part of him dreaded it. Though he hated to admit it, he missed her a lot. The five days had been pure agony for him. He wanted to see her again, smiling for him. Each time he passed her chamber, he had to resist the urge to barge into her chamber and hug her tight.

Walking around his lands, Sesshoumaru sighed exhaustedly. He wasn't exhausted physically, but mentally. He had been thinking a lot for the past few days. And every time it was about Rin. At night, he couldn't sleep. He wanted to but he couldn't. He WOULDN'T allow himself to sleep. For, the fact that the fearless Lord Sesshoumaru was AFRAID to sleep!

This is because each time he falls asleep, Rin would come and haunt him in his dreams. And those dreams weren't any other dreams. ALL of them were EROTIC ones. True, he loved it. However not seeing Rin for five days and having wet dreams only increase the agony by ten folds. He didn't know how long can he go on with this.

Sometimes he wondered why he was such a complex being. Just accept her love and live happily ever after would be much better than being complex!

'Why can't I just accept her love, take her as a mate? Why the hell do I have a strong barrier of pride on my way!', he asked himself.

'If you have a strong barrier of pride as you claim to be, then break the damn barrier!'. Guess who is back?

'What are you doing here? I've told you I don't want to see you in my damn mind! I already told her I don't love her. Happy now!', Sesshoumaru snapped back depressingly.

'You are only known as Lord of the Western Land, but you are a coward. Do you think I can't feel your pain! I am you god dammit! Why not for once, just once kick your pride aside and claim her!', his conscience rebuked him.

'This Sesshoumaru will do no such thing! She is a mortal and I am a youkai! We cannot mingle with each other!'.

'You can! But you don't want to! Your father claimed a human as a mate too!'

'He did and that's because he is a fool! Look what happened to him! He died because of the foolish mortal and her half breed son! I, Sesshoumaru, am not like that!'

'If that's what you want Sesshoumaru…I let you be… but you will regret this', with that said his conscience disappeared.

Sesshoumaru pondered on what his conscience had said. He felt so trapped now. What should he do! He had made Rin upset with his decision…so was he. But he was doing for the good of him and Rin.

Settling down on a shady tree, he closed his eyes shutting himself from the world.


Sitting at the library, Rin thought about how she was going to confront Sesshoumaru. She was no more in heat and was still emotionally unstable. Her mind was in a state of chaos. She didn't know what to think and what to do. She still hadn't gotten her answers for certain of her questions. And she knew the only person who could provide the answer was Sesshoumaru. Rin needed to confront him and clear things with him as soon as possible. However she knew that if she was going to meet her lord now, she would cry from the pain of her heart which he had inflicted.

'What should I do now? Confront him today or confront him after I recover?'

'Today will be better. I know you are not in any situation in seeing him. However you will be like this forever if you don't know the answers for your questions', her conscience stated appearing out of nowhere.

'But what will he think of me if I cannot hold onto my tears?'

'Why do you even bother! It's his fault for you to be like this! Confront him and ask why the hell he is doing this to you'

True. Why did she even bother what he would think of her if she cried in front of him? He caused her to be like this. And she WILL find out the reasons why. She finally came to a decision. She will confront him today no matter what happens.

Wiping her almost dried tears away from her flushed cheeks, she got up and marched out the library. She was determined to make him regret what he had done and said to her. As she got near to her lord's chamber, her determination seemed to fade away, now replacing with nervousness and fear. She was nervous what he would say to her and was afraid that she would make a fool out of herself instead of fighting justice.

Now standing outside Sesshoumaru's chamber, Rin took in as much air as she could to her lungs and knocked the door. No answer. She knocked again. Still there was no answer.

"Sesshoumaru-sama went out and will only be back home late", a scratchy voice was heard when Rin wanted to knock on the door again. She jumped a little out of shock and immediately turned to her side to see Jaken standing.

"W…where did he go?", Rin whispered throatily. A voice she couldn't believe it was hers. Hearing her voice was when she realised she had cried a lot the past five dreadful days.

"I don't know. He seemed to be troubled for the past few days", he said with a tinge of anger in it. "And I believe you are the cause of it!", he accused her with contempt and disgust, unable to hold back the anger. He knew the human before him was the reason for his state. He knew there was something going on between the both of them that he himself couldn't figure out. But whatever it was, he was still mad at Rin for making his lord unhappy.

Rin, hearing this, narrowed her eyes into a perilous glare. "HE is the reason WHY I am in THIS state. Get your damn facts right before you accuse someone toad!", she snarled through her gritting teeth. Jaken stood rooted to the ground, restraining the shiver going down his spine by Rin's glare.

With that said, she left for her chambers cursing the damned toad demon on the way there. Since he was not at home now, she would confront him later in the evening.


"Welcome back Sesshoumaru-sama! This Jaken was worried for you milord!", Jaken, the toad demon exclaimed with concern when he saw Sesshoumaru enter the palace. "This humble servant of yours has done what you asked him to do milord. Oh and by the way milord, the Lord of the Southern Lands has sent…", he rambled away.

Sesshoumaru, on the other hand, wasn't listening to whatever his vassal was saying. He was lost in his own thoughts. After thinking about Rin while patrolling his lands, he had come to a decision. He was going to confront Rin today whether the human girl liked it or not. He could not see Rin like this. He had to do something to make her get over this.

Sesshoumaru opened the door of his chamber and got in. And before his vassal could enter, he closed it. Jaken slammed against the door before he knew it.

"Jaken, I do not want any disturbance for now from anyone especially you", he ordered, loud enough for his vassal to hear from outside. "Should you disobey me… you should know what this Sesshoumaru will do", he growled threateningly. He smirked sadistically when he heard the toad demon gulped in fear.

Sesshoumaru soundlessly walked to his study table and took a seat on his armchair. He took the parchment lying on the table and read it. No matter how many times he read it nothing got registered into his head. He threw the parchment on the table and immediately arose from his seat, walking towards the window.

The sun was already down. The sky was getting dark already. Just then he heard some commotion downstairs. Scowling, Sesshoumaru effortlessly jumped down from his chamber and landed on the ground. He paced to the place where the commotion was going on. Finally reaching the living room, he stopped. There, before him was Jaken and Rin having a heated argument.

"What is going on here?", he questioned in an angered voice.

Rin was inside the library writing an entry in her diary when Sesshoumaru came arrived home. She quickly finished off her entry and placed the quill pen into the bottle of ink, which was on the table. She got up from her seat and placed her diary on one of the shelves in the library.

Rin dashed off the library and was about to race up the stairs. She came to an abrupt halt when she saw the obstruction before her- Jaken. "Jaken, get lost from my way! I want to go and see Sesshoumaru-sama!", she yelled at him.

"No! You cannot see Sesshoumaru-sama now! He told me he didn't want anyone disturbing him now!", he retorted back.

"I don't care if he needs rest or not! I am going to meet him NOW! So get lost now!".

"I am not going to let you meet him! Now go and occupy your time with something human!"

"Get lost before I wring that neck of yours!"

"No I will not let anyone disturb Sess-", Jaken got interrupted.

"What is going on here?".

Jaken gasped when he heard his lord's from behind. 'How in the name of Kami-sama did he end up here? I thought he was in his chamber?', he thought in disbelief. "M…milord! I…I thought you were in upstairs?", he stammered in fear.

Sesshoumaru ignored his question and gazed at Rin intently. 'She's changed in these five days. She…looks colder', he noticed. His heart felt sore seeing his young lady in such a state. 'She's supposed to be innocent. Not…not cold…like me. Am I the reason for her present state?', he thought with so much regret.

Rin did not meet her lord's eyes. She knew he was staring at her. She was already feeling nervous even before he wanted to meet her. And now here he was before her making it more difficult for her to meet his eyes. She just shifted uncomfortably under his heated stare.

Without averting his gaze he asked again, "What is going on here?".

"I wanted to meet you milord but this damn toad here didn't let me pass", Rin answered venomously containing her nervousness.

"Meet me?", Sesshoumaru repeated, arching his eyebrow in surprise. 'Meet me? Don't tell me she is going to confront me'.

Rin stood upright and clashed with Sesshoumaru's gaze. "Yes milord. I wish to meet you PERSONALLY if you don't mind. I can't speak out my mind with this ugly thing around", she answered determinedly with defiance clearly written in the brown pools of her orbs.

"Aak! How dare you speak of me like that! Wait till you feel the power of the head of t-", Jaken snarled, but not able to complete his threat. Sesshoumaru walked over him, shutting him up.

"Come into my chamber if you want to speak your mind out as you have claimed", he ordered flatly.

Rin squinted her eyes into slits sending a glare to the inuyoukai. How dare he command her after shunning her away! Rage spread through her body up till her bosom.

Sesshoumaru however, wasn't ignorant. He could smell her seething anger radiating from her body. Despite his guilty conscience of bringing Rin to such a sorrowful state, he smirked at her reaction. He loved provoking her. He simply loved it when she blushed, got angry with him or being nervous around him.

He walked up the stairs with an enraged Rin trailing behind him.


Ok that's the end of chapter twelve. I hope it's good enough for you people. Well I know it's quite short but soooo sorry ok! Oh I forgot to thank my reviewers for my previous chapter. Thanks for your reviews guys! I was happy all of you enjoyed it… anyways these are the people who reviewed:

I.The Silence

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Tallyz

Ok I guess that's all for now… I'll update next week for chapter thirteen! See you people soon!