Disclaimer(s): All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. TY lovely Twilight ladies for the great sample, this disclaimer is also not mine.
Thanks to THE READERS (You guys are just so awesome for taking this journey with me), Kassiah for pushing me to be better, my beta Kris for making my words pretty, Teacher1209 for prereading, and Amber for always doing polyvore for me! Smooches girls!
Previously
"Bella?" I turned when I heard my name being called. I wasn't surprised someone had come looking for me, I'd been gone a while.
"Aunt Renee?"
BPOV
I watched as my aunt, the woman that had been around for my entire life walked toward me, wearily. She should be leery of me, because even though she was there for most of the important parts of my life, still she chose to give me up.
"Hi Baby," she whispered as she stopped directly in front of me.
"Don't," I choked. "I'm not your baby."
She had always been good at shielding her emotions, but I saw the look on her face. I felt bad, but I couldn't help but lash out at her when I was hurting too.
"I know you're angry, Bella. But please-."
"I'm not angry," I cut her off. "I'm hurt. How could you just, give me up like that?"
That was the one thing I couldn't understand. I knew I didn't know the whole story, I probably didn't even know half of it. But I was a mother now. I had a life growing inside of me and there is no way I could give away a piece of me like that.
"It was different for me," she whispered as tears rolled down her face. She didn't even bother to wipe them away, they just continued to leave marks on her skin. I hadn't even realized I had spoken out loud.
"How old are you, Bella?"
"Twenty-four, but you already know that."
"I was eighteen. Unmarried. I had been with a man that had no desire to have a child and his family, God, his family. They certainly had no desire for him to have a child with me."
I didn't respond. What did she want me to say? It's ok. I forgive you. Of course it was hard. Hell, even Alice...
"Alice was eighteen when she had Jamie and you don't see her giving him away like he was a choice."
"Bella, I did have a choice. I could have dragged you all around the world with me while I've lived my life these last twenty-four years. Or, I could give you a life far better than I could have ever provided for you and make my big sister's dreams come true.
"You know, Esme found out she was pregnant the day I met Charlie. She was so excited. She was afraid to tell Carlisle, because they'd had some false-positives. Those were really common twenty years ago. Carlisle had no idea what had happened and I was sworn to secrecy until she could tell him.
"I wasn't around much the next couple of months. I spent every waking minute I wasn't working with Charlie. He was a young soldier stationed at MacDill, a West Point graduate on his way to greatness. His family had money and I had a desire to see the world. I knew it would never last, but that didn't stop us from falling in love. When I found out I was pregnant I panicked and while I didn't know what to do I knew I could rely on my sister. She helped me pack up my things and sent me to live with one of Carlisle's aunts out in Oklahoma for a few months. By the time I came back to visit them for the holidays, Charlie was long gone."
"So you never told him about me?"
She shook her head. Even hearing what little of the story she told me I didn't understand how she could just give me away.
"So, how long did you stick around after I was born? You've always been in and out of my life, mostly out but you were there for the important things. Did you not want kids or did you just not want me?"
"Baby, it wasn't that I didn't want you. I wanted you more than I wanted anything, but I wanted to give you a better life. If Charlie and I had been involved in an actual relationship and his parents approved of me, things might have been different. I have no doubt I would have told him and we could have lived happily for many years. I didn't want to give you away, baby girl, but I thought it was the right thing for you. I still do."
Like I'd told her before, I wasn't angry. Hurt was the feeling coursing through my body. Why not even give the father, my father, the choice?
"And you've never, heard from Charlie again?"
"Nope. Esme told me he'd come looking for me after I disappeared and pleaded with her to tell him where I'd gone, but she wouldn't. Our bond was stronger than anything and that's another reason I made the choice to give you up. No, it wasn't easy, believe me. I wanted to be the one to take care of you, but I only stuck around long enough to be there when they brought you home and then I was gone until your first birthday. I couldn't handle being there and not being your mother."
"Did it get easier? When you came back?"
She laughed. "No, not easier. Just, a little less pain. You didn't cry anymore and you were talking a little bit. The hardest part was watching you call Esme Mommy, but it helped make the separation more defined."
At some point we'd started walking along the water instead of just standing there staring at each other. The mood settled densely around us like the salt air that hovered across the Gulf. I enjoyed the quietness as I tried to clear my head. She was probably letting it set in like I was. With everything else going on in my life, I couldn't imagine adding one more thing to weigh me down. I needed to give this part of my life over to chance quickly. It was in the past and instead of dwelling on it and causing problems, I wanted to just be done with it. I had to deal with the fact that the woman I had loved as my aunt my entire life was the woman that had given me life. I shuddered to imagine if she had contemplated the alternative.
"Thank you," I whispered, so quietly I wasn't even sure she had heard me.
"What?" she asked, a little shocked.
"You heard me correctly. Thank you, for giving me life. For giving me the best parents that love me and have given me everything that I have ever needed."
I turned to her with tears in my eyes. I could turn this into a huge drama fiasco, or I could choose to take it for what it is and treat it like I was a grown up that was expecting a child of her own. She had given me the best life she could, and she had the strength to do it by giving me to someone else. I didn't think I would ever have that strength.
Sensing that she was hesitant to give me a hug I pulled her toward me, mindful of my growing belly and hugged her as tightly as I could.
"Oh, Bella. Thank you for not hating me."
"Never. I couldn't ever hate you. I was just shocked. I mean it all happened so fast. Just a few hours ago I thought I knew everything, but now...now, I'm probably still in shock," I laughed as I pulled back and wiped my eyes.
We talked a little bit more about my dad. She hadn't ever tried to contact him, but the way she talked about him I could tell there was still something there.
"You never forget your first love." She reminded me and I thought of Edward. I always missed him, but sometimes more than others, times like this especially. I wouldn't be able to tell him about my roller coaster of a day until he called again and I had no idea when that would be. This was definitely not something that should be told in a letter or really even over the phone, I thought. What's a girl to do when her soldier is off fighting the bad guys half a world away?
Renee stayed for dinner that evening and I told her and my parents that a date had been decided on for my baby shower. After the initial excitement, I think my mom and Renee were both bummed that they didn't get to help plan it, but a couple of my mommy-to-be friends from the base had asked me if they could throw a baby shower. I insisted they didn't need to do anything but they told me it was done for all of the expectant women of deployed soldiers.
Over the next few weeks, the baby shower planning had taken on a life of its own. I had taken Alice and my mom with me to register for everything. Aunt Renee had gotten a call to go off to some third world country and volunteer after a mud slide, so she hadn't been around much after our heart-to-heart. The women at the base had been so helpful and we'd started getting together once a week to not only discuss the baby shower, but to talk about Army life in general. Well, military life. We were currently at a base that housed multiple branches of the Armed Forces and I was getting to see how similar, yet different, they all were.
I spent the rest of the week leading up to the baby shower nesting as my mother liked to refer to it. Knowing that I would be getting a barrage of gifts bestowed upon me soon I didn't want to have one thing out of place.
On Friday morning I went to my doctor's appointment and was given some unfortunate news. I was showing sign of pre-eclampsia and was put on bed rest for the duration of my pregnancy. I got the doctor to agree to letting me attend the baby shower on Saturday but only if I took it easy and put my feet up as much as possible.
Saturday morning Alice showed up early to help me finalize my outfit for the baby shower and we were in the parking lot of the venue before I even had a chance to get nervous. After she pulled out a couple of gifts, she came around to make sure I didn't need any help getting out of the car. My mom and Aunt Renee were standing at the door waiting for us to get inside and we were all suddenly surrounded by shades of blue and everything miniature.
All the tables are covered with either a brown or blue table cloth. Stacks of diapers are rolled up and displayed throughout the room and Alice whispers to me that they are diaper cakes as I try to comment on how cute they are.
I'm seated at the front of the room where they immediately hand me a survey of questions to start filling out as the guests continue coming in. Apparently games are a big thing at baby showers. Fun.
Alice and my mom are quick to make sure that the games don't last too long and after I'm forced to suffer through one they remind everybody that this mommy-to-be hasn't had lunch yet. Lunch consists of baby back ribs, baby carrots and some sort of dessert made with baby food. These women really like doing things in themes. The one cute thing I was excited to participate in was the onesie and bib decorating. How cute is that? Each guest gets to make an original onesie for my baby boy.
"Bella, you look absolutely gorgeous today," Irina says as she gives me a side hug. She's a stunning woman herself. Tall, blond and I've seen pictures she's shown me of her husband. Paul. It's a name I've heard Edward and Jake mention before, so I'm sure when they get back I'll be meeting him. She wanders back to her group of friends as Rose and Alice take their spots by my side.
"So, Rose, when are you planning on moving down here?" I ask. She's totally hiding something and I know she's been looking for a job in this area. She loves it here. Probably explains why she's been here three times in the last six months. That, or the fact that she knows I need her here with me for these important milestones.
"What?"
I shrug, knowing she heard me.
"Why would you think that?" she asks as she looks around to see if any body's within ear shot, I'm sure.
"I don't know, maybe it's because you're acting all fidgety and playing with your fingers. Oh my God," I gasp. "You're engaged."
With a smile she nods and slyly holds up her ring finger. It suits her. Not flashy, but it definitely states its presence.
"Oh, Rosie. That's gorgeous. How come you haven't been wearing it? As soon as Edward had a ring on my finger I didn't take it off unless I absolutely had to." I gazed down at the ring he'd given me and admired how it looked on my finger that was resting on my belly.
"I knew this weekend was about you, and I didn't want to 'steal your thunder'."
This is one of the many reasons I loved Rose. Not a selfish bone in her body, well...maybe a few.
"Put that thing on, girl and don't let me see you take it off 'til you get back on that plane to go home."
"Won't be my home for long," she replied with a shy smile.
"You didn't?" I asked, shocked. After she told me about the ring I wasn't expecting her to be hiding anything else.
"Emmett was offered a job in Jacksonville and he's there right now. He has an interview on Monday."
"That's so awesome."
"Really?"
"Yes, of course. I mean, it's not right next door, but it's still in the State. Besides, we don't even know if they'll give Edward new orders when he gets back or if we'll get to stay here."
She nodded. I knew she kind of understood, but how could I ask her or any of my other friends and family to understand it when I was still trying to myself.
Irina and her group of friends helped to get the gift segment of the baby shower underway not long after Rose and I had started discussing what her life could be like with Emmett on the East Coast.
I ended up with way too many things. Everything on my registry had been purchased, and I received so many onesies I wouldn't have to do laundry for a month once the little guy arrived. I was definitely excited to get home and get everything put away and organized. As soon as the last gift had been opened I yawned and stretched a little in hopes that the ladies in attendance would know that I had done my time, and was ready to get home. The party wrapped up quickly after they got the hint and the girls helped me lug everything home and into my parents house.
"That's the last of it," my mom sighed as she placed yet another gift bag inside my room. The baby's room had been too full, so they had started bringing some of the things in here to store them until we could go through everything.
"Thanks, Mom. Okay, ladies. As much as I love you all dearly, this mommy is in need of a nap."
"You get your rest," Alice whispered as she shut my blinds. "The three of us will go watch a movie or something and then we'll help you go through things this evening before we have to take Rose to the airport."
While it sounded like a plan, I slept too long and they ended up having to wake me up so I could say goodbye to Rose before she left for the airport. Once I was up, I was up. So, while Alice drove Rose over to the airport, my mom and I started going through the baby gifts.
We'd only made it through a few boxes before my cell phone rang and while I didn't recognize the number, I'd gotten used to getting calls from Edward from weird numbers. My heart started pounding in my chest as I hit the connect button.
"Hello? Edward?" I asked, excited.
"Mrs. Masen?"
My excitement immediately turned to dread in the pit of my stomach and a sound akin to a whimper escaped my clamped lips.
"Ma'am? I need to know that you are in fact Edward Masen's next of kin."
"Yes," I replied, my voice shaky.
He went on to tell me that he was a medic with the United States Army, currently stationed in Germany. Apparently they'd brought Edward in with a knee injury and he was currently sedated.
"But he's going to be fine?"
"Yes ma'am. He should be awake within the hour. We just like to let spouses and families know what is going on with their soldier if we can. He should be able to call you later today."
I thanked him and ended the call quickly so he could attend to another patient. After I told my mom about the call Alice came in and I had to repeat the story all over again. She asked several questions, her medical training kicking in. I was just relieved that the doctor said he was going to be fine. He probably found it interesting that I didn't really question Edward's injury, just that he was going to be alright.
Alice and my mom continued to help me sort through things and we found a lot of items I wouldn't need because they were similar to something else I already had. Of course, that's what happens when you have people that don't bother to use the registry. We managed to make enough headway to get the items that had been brought into my room back into the baby's room and by the time Alice left it was already after ten.
Mom told me dad had called earlier to let her know he was stuck at the hospital and not to wait up. I wasn't ready to go to sleep yet. The doctor had said Edward would probably be calling later, and I didn't want to miss it.
I took my time getting ready for bed. Relaxed in a bubble bath using some of the novelty things Edward had gotten for me in one of my many gift baskets and even with all that stalling I was still in bed before he could call. Defeated I figured I would just keep my phone beside me, not that I didn't do that every night anyway, and just hope that I wouldn't miss his call.
Just before I was dozing off that same strange number appeared on my screen.
"Edward?"
"Yeah, babe. It's me." It sounded like he was struggling to catch his breath and that became even more evident when he coughed a few seconds later.
"Edward?"
"Sorry, babe. I just woke up a little bit ago and haven't been able to catch my breath," he whispered. "That and, you know you take my breath away."
He would always be a charmer, even when he was lying in a hospital bed half way across the world from me. I wasn't sure I was ready for what he was about to tell me, but I still had to ask.
"Edward, honey, what happened?"
A/N - OMG! You know what this means? Edward's in the next chapter :) It's started, not finished but I've still got my writing mojo just had some banner requests come in and it's hard to manage my time. I'm looking at maybe a little over a week if I can get it worked on this weekend!
It's true...I'm taking creative license with a lot of things and I'm interested to see what you guys have to say with how Bella handled Renee. I certainly have no idea how I would handle it, but to me it seems like she's already got enough on her plate to add one more thing to stress about and it happened over 20 years ago.
P.S. I saw Water for Elephants and fell more in love with Rob. *swoon* Hope you get a chance to see it in the theaters. As always, I love you guys! Thanks for reading!
Rec! You HAVE to read What If by: twihart21 - This fic consumed my thoughts for days after I read it...what am I talking about? It still does, lol! It's not getting the love and attention it deserves quite yet and it's almost complete! :)
Summary: Edward is a successful defense attorney living in LA. He lives a lonely, predictable life. But one day, he wakes up in an unfamiliar house, in an unfamiliar room with Bella laying next to him. Will he ever want to wake up from this dream? AH EPOV
