Her sobs echoed through the silent apartment, her face turned towards the wall and her mind on the conversation that had come to past. Now that he was gone, out of earshot, she'd let her emotions take over.
She knew where he went, it's something that he did even before she found out he was sick. He'd take his copy of A Streetcar Named Desire and he'd read over the scene when Stella runs to Stanley after their fight, his flare for the dramatic being cured through the words on the page rather than his continual yell of 'Rachel' up their stairs. He was almost positive that if he tried to reenact it that the neighbors would call the police on him.
And like Rachel, Jesse knew that she would be silently laying in their room but in her mind she would be singing, the words ever so clear in his own mind as he shut the play and began heading home. "Jesse is over and Jesse is done. Jesse's convinced that it's time to move on." She had sang it to him when she came back into his life, the song that helped her get through everything when he was no longer there. It seemed an odd comfort to her.
Still, he didn't expect her to be sobbing, that much she knew. She knew that he would somehow find it a 'point' for him. He made the great Rachel cry, but she would not let him know that he had gotten to her. She would give herself this moment, this time of loneliness and that was it.
And the minute she heard the door open, she would stop. He'd not have the satisfaction of her tears, she wouldn't allow it.
Too bad her mind was too focused on not letting him see her crying to hear the door open and lock or hear his footsteps echoing down the hallway.
She felt the weight of the bed shift, she felt him beside her but she refused to roll over, refused to look at him. "It's the way that you blush when you're nervous. It's your ability to make me earn this. I know that you're tired, just let me sing you to sleep."
He knew that she was trying her to quite her cries, trying her hardest to shut herself away from him. It wasn't the first time she'd tried and failed at it. "You know, our battles over who has the bigger ego and who is more stubborn are going to result in quite a lot of nights that end up like this..." He heard her soft chuckle through her tears, a movement showing that she was wiping those that had fallen from her cheeks. Gently he turned towards her, pulling her flush against him as he wrapped his arms around her. "It's about how you laugh out of pity cause let's be honest, I'm not really that funny. I know that you're shot, just let me sing you to sleep. If you need anything, just say the word. I mean anything. Rest assured if you start to dose, then I'll tuck you in, plant my lips where your necklace is closed."
His lips pressed against the gold star necklace he had bought her all those years ago, his amazement at the fact that she had never gotten rid of it still present in his gaze. But soon, it was replaced with a different shock. Softly, Rachel's voice filled the room, an unlike duet. More like a mash-up, he thought to himself as he waited for her to finish, knowing very well that she was taking the instrumental break as her own. "So, with a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover you. And oh, lover, I'll cover you."
But Jesse couldn't sing the next line, he couldn't force himself to let the words fall from his lips. So, he planned on just singing the next verse to her, she would understand. Rachel, however, seemed to have other plans. "It's those pills that you don't need to take. Medicating perfection, now that's a mistake. I know that you're spent, just let me sing you to sleep."
Tears filled both their gazes as Jesse tightened his hold on her, "It's your finger, and how I'm wrapped around it. It's your grace and how it keeps me grounded. I know that you're weak, just let me sing you to sleep." It was true, and he realized it in that moment. She had him, no matter how hard he tried to argue it, wrapped around her little finger and she refused to lessen her hold on him.
"If you need anything, just say the word I mean, anything." And softly her voice mixed with his, the words matching and Rachel changing the arrangement to fit the song he had chosen to sing to her. "With a thousand sweet kisses, I'll cover."
"Rest assured, if you start to dose, then I'll tuck you in, plant my lips where your necklace is closed..." His voice rang clearly in the silence of his apartment, the only noise interfering was that of their heartbeats. Their voices then harmonized just as they had the day they first met, Rachel's matching Jesse's in strength and clarity and the beauty of both echoing in their ears.
"While you were sleeping, I figured out everything, I was constructed for you and you were molded for me. Now I feel your name, coursing through my veins. You shine so bright it's insane, you put the sun to shame...I'll cover you," Rachel sang softly at the end, their duet closing as Jesse knew it was his duty to finish his song. His musical apology his to end.
"If you need anything, just say the word, I mean anything. Rest assured if you start to dose, then I'll tuck you in, plant my lips where your necklace is...If you need anything, just say the word, I mean anything. Rest assured if you start to dose, then I'll tuck you in, plant my lips where your necklace is closed." And swiftly, Jesse did just as he sang, placing his lips lightly, once more, onto the clasp of the gold chain.
They laid in silence for moments, neither having the nerve to break the quite that had fallen over them. But Jesse knew that he was his doing that had caused the tension, and though he would never be the one to admit his wrong, he now had to change that, for Rachel.
"I'm sorry, Rachel. You know that I am happy for you, that you deserve this more than anyone. I'm just...I am the one who is supposed to be there with you, the one supporting you and now you're the one who is taking care of me, making sure that I'm fine, and paying for me to live." He felt her shift, dark pools turning to face him as her eyes found his.
"You know that doesn't matter to me Jess, especially not now. All that matters to me is that we're happy, that whatever time we have together is us living the life we wanted. I don't know how much time we have together anymore and I don't want to spend it worrying about how tomorrow is going to be. With that job, I know that for at least the next year, we're safe. That I don't have to strain myself and that I can spend all the time I want with you."
His hand came to rest on her cheek, his thumb gently wiping away a renegade tear as he exhaled closing his eyes as he spoke. "That's why I want you to take the job. It's for the security it provides for you, the opportunities and...of course, the fact that I know it'd make you happier than anything I could do right now..."
The shaking of her head and the new wave of tears had Jesse thinking back to what he said. He was surprised that she wasn't taking what he had sad more joyously, it had been what she wanted, wasn't it?
"Nothing can make me happier than you, Jesse. Don't ever try and tell yourself different." And before he could argue her, she placed her lips again his and silencing him before gently letting herself fall asleep.
OKAY. So, that was the last chapter before the Epilogue WHERE YOU DISCOVER EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW. So that means review. I want like 10 reviews before I post it. I always get like 4. GIVE ME SOME! :D
-Rae.
