Chapter 12: Letters, Discussions and Blood
xxxxx
Dear Ron,
I don't even know how to start this, but I just need you to know that I'm sorry. You and Hermione must be so confused. I didn't want to push you two away, but I was in a very bad place. You don't understand what it's like to see you two again. I couldn't look at either of you without being reminded of certain things I'd rather forget. I don't know how much Dumbledore told you and I promise one day I will explain everything. Just know that despite my reaction, seeing you two alive was the best moment I can remember. I know things are strange right now, but I'm still your best mate, I just need to work on some stuff. If we could write to each other for the time being, I'd be so grateful. I'm sending a similar letter to Hermione, so I hope you two are alright with this temporary situation,
Harry
Harry sat back from his letter, unsure of his words. Re-reading it again, he frowned. It sounded a bit strange, but it was the best he could do. It had taken a lot to even write down as much as he had. He hoped that if they reconnected through letters he would be able to move on to face-to-face contact and their old friendship.
Folding the parchment, he placed it in the drawer of the handsome bedside locker and lay back on the bed. Stretching a little he felt a little twinge in his chest, but it was barely there. He truly was getting better. He hadn't had to ask for pain relief in a long time and the discolouration around his wound was almost entirely gone. After his dose of potion around dinner time earlier that day, he had checked it, to find it shrunk smaller than it had been even yesterday. Snape had not asked to see it while they had been at Grimmauld place, but he did enquire daily about Harry's physical state and seemed satisfied when Harry reported positively. Although harry had not missed the seriously scrutinizing looks Snape gave him as he gave these reports. He was looking for even a twitch of a lie in the green eyes. It was obvious the potions master would never trust the son of James Potter, but at breakfast that morning he had not been as hostile as he usually was. Perhaps living in such close vicinity and the fact he inhabited Harry's house had inclined him to be more mannerly? But Harry couldn't be sure. He did know that the man had not grown to like him anymore than ever, but he was not as vicious as he had been at Hogwarts. But saying that, Snape's temper was legendary and Harry had no doubt that if he angered him in the slightest, Snape would cut him like a knife.
Malfoy also had been far less…Slytherin? Harry didn't ignore the blonde's attempts to engage him in conversation over breakfast. He had been so different than how Harry remembered him and it was only as he lay there it came to him. Malfoy lacked the self-confidence he had once had. He was still arrogant, but there was no self-righteous attitude to connect him to the boy Harry had encountered in his first year of Hogwarts. He was not the scornful yet terrified boy who had witnessed and aided Harry's capture. He was also not the boy who had tortured him on Voldemort's command. That Malfoy had no self-confidence like now, but he had no personality left in him in the last months of Harry's imprisonment. That Draco had been a hollow robot, carrying out orders.
But this Malfoy, this one was a mix of the new and old, with, Harry begrudgingly admitted the better halves of each of his personalities. He had lost the self-righteous act and also the hollow shell persona. He was still arrogant, but clearly insecure and a little more willing to improve himself. He was the very opposite of how he had been when he sold out harry and his friends. It was mind numbingly confusing and Harry didn't think he would ever understand it. But in his good nature, Harry had allowed the possibility that Malfoy could and would change, but if this was just a betrayal cleverly disguised, Harry would curse himself…but not before he ripped the blonde apart. There would not be an ounce of forgiveness left in him if this was all a ploy.
As these dark thoughts possessed the green-eyed-boy for a moment, he almost missed the knock on the door. Sliding off of the bed he padded over to the door in his socks, opening it to find the subject of his inner struggles in front of him.
"Prof-Dumbledore is downstairs, he wants to talk to you," Malfoy gave a tight jerk of the shoulders which looked like an uptight shrug "I don't know what for, but Professor Snape sent me up here to get you."
"Oh right, good."
With the silence descending, Malfoy turned on his heel and headed back downstairs, leaving Harry time to find some shoes before following.
Dumbledore was dressed in the finest midnight blue and he looked more relaxed than Harry had seen him in a while. He was standing beside the lit fire in the sitting room. Snape inhabited a straight armchair nearby and looked slightly aggravated at the older wizard's slightly cheerful presence. The room was well lit with candles, as it was nearly eight in the evening and darkness was falling despite the summer months. Harry had noticed that the skies had seemed darker as of late and he doubted it had much to do with natural forces. The sitting room has a slightly musty smell that Harry actually liked. It smelled like old books, probably due to the many volumes that inhabited the shelved lining the walls. The potions professor had one such volume open nearby and Harry suspected that Dumbledore had interrupted the quiet evening the professor had intended upon having.
"Harry," Dumbledore said, smiling slightly as the boy himself walked through the doorway, Malfoy having went on to the kitchen, clearly not wanting to be a part of the conversation "I take it you are well."
Harry nodded in confirmation, briefly mentioning the improvement of his injury. However the small talk only lasted a minute or two and then Dumbledore's face turned a little more serious.
"I came here tonight to discuss a few things with you. I have sought out the ring you advised me on and was beyond careful when removing it." He held up his hands, both undamaged besides the many wrinkles the possessed and Harry felt immense relief.
"I have broken the curse upon it and it is no longer a horcrux. Gryffindor's sword worked perfectly and I sincerely thank you for the suggestion Harry. But there is one thing that eludes me. You mentioned the stone atop the ring, however, the ring I recovered had no such adornment. The setting was empty."
Silence reigned for a moment and Harry suddenly felt his heartbeat in his ears, thinking of the stone neatly wrapped in his trunk upstairs, but he held his mind closed to the best of his abilities. Perhaps he should have told Dumbledore, but Harry could not bring himself. Like he himself, the stone that travelled from the future had replaced the one in this time, much as Harry had replaced himself in a sense. In this way, Dumbledore would never be tempted by the stone. In the original timeline, Dumbledore had learned his lesson and cursed himself in his desperation to use it, but this Dumbledore had not learned from his mistakes and Harry was unsure that the wizard could give Ariana up if he saw her again. And so, amidst guilt that he was keeping his sister from him, Harry acted none-the-wiser as the whereabouts of the stone, not willing to take the chance. Perhaps another time, when things died down, he would give the stone to the headmaster, but Harry did not want to tempt him and so he swallowed his guilt. He had provided Dumbledore with scores of information when he met him to inform him of the danger surrounding the ring, but he did not mention he had the stone.
"Well, it shall have to remain a mystery for now if you cannot provide an answer for us my boy," Dumbledore seemed a bit put off but he did not dwell on it "I must move on to other subjects."
"The order has not heard much of Voldemort's activities as of late. With Severus discovered as a spy, we have lost out main source of intelligence. However we do know that he is still recruiting heavily. Many of the giants are now loyal to him and Remus tells me that there are more and more werewolves coming out in favour of the Death Eaters every day."
Harry didn't react the news, he simply stared ahead, none of it surprising him. However the thought that Voldemort would have the same formidable army he had possessed in Harry's time sat uncomfortably with the boy-who-lived. He could vividly picture the damage the giants alone inflicted on the castle.
"We also know that he has doubled his efforts to find out yours and Severus' whereabouts. There has been a handsome offer whispered through Knockturn alley as a reward for any information."
Harry saw Snape's mouth tighten from the corner of his eye but he didn't look at the man. They truly were bound to this house now.
"I have also heard rumours about the Malfoy family. Narcissa Malfoy seems to have disappeared into hiding soon after young Draco's disappearance. I have order members attempting to find her and communicate with her. I cannot be sure if she is no longer leaning toward Voldemort's side or not, but her leaving was wise. With Lucius disgraced and their son's abandonment of the Death Eaters, Voldemort would not be forgiving toward her."
"I don't think Narcissa is loyal to him," Harry said, causing Snape and Dumbledore to turn to him "She's not really a bad person, I think she only cares about her family. She was only there because her husband and son were. The rest of it never really mattered to her. She was kind to me I guess."
Snape had now given Harry about three strange looks, while Dumbledore's face had softened "I'll keep that in mind Harry. If we find her we will offer her the same protection as her son if she will accept it."
Harry nodded his approval. He knew that Malfoy's mother wasn't actually bad. She had always given him water when he asked and he suspected she was breaking more than a few rules in doing so and she had never cursed him, although she had never been ordered to. She had just faded into the background somehow.
"Oh Harry, I have a letter for you. Hedwig arrived at the castle with it. I shall leave it to you to open in private. It was checked for spells or hexes."
Harry looked confused as the man handed him an envelope. It was not of thick parchment as he usually received, but was of thinner paper. Noticing Snape's raised eyebrow, he stuffed it in his pocket, intent upon reading it as soon as he escaped to his bedroom.
Dumbledore stay for about half an hour, informing that the professors were beginning to return to Hogwarts and he had updated Professor McGonagall on everything, which Harry was satisfied with. And then he was gone. Harry could almost feel that Snape wanted him out of the room then, though perhaps he did not want to order Harry out of his own sitting room so he did not voice these wants. Harry got the message anyway and left the room, stepping onto the stairs before a low voice stopped him.
"Why did you say that about my mother?"
Harry froze, stopping on the third stair and turning around to see Malfoy half in the shadows of the hallway.
"Snooping Malfoy?"
The blonde didn't rise to the taunt, he simply stared at Harry as if he were some strange creature "Why?"
Harry sighed slightly "Because it's true. She never seemed truly bad to me. If she wants protection from him, she should have it. He doesn't take kindly to desertion."
"I suppose not" the blonde said softly.
Harry looked at Malfoy a little confused before turning to head back upstairs, but again was caught in his tracks.
"I am sorry Potter."
There was silence. Harry never knew that words could have such a profound effect until that moment. He didn't turn back around to face the ex-death eater. He couldn't find the strength to look at the other boy.
"I never meant…I was so angry and jealous. You saved my life and then I did that stupid-so stupid. You know, I was glad when you were first taken. I felt I had finally won something over you, but then the deaths started. I may never have liked your Gryffindor friends, but even I…and then what he did to you and made me do…I should have said no. I should have, but I couldn't. I didn't want to die."
There was quiet for a moment as the words were digested. Harry had stopped breathing as he listened.
"Believe me when I say I have never regretted anything more. I may not like you, even if I hated you at one point, there is no excuse. When I was chosen by him to come back and warn his past self of the future, I did so out of fear. I could not help myself. But I was also happy to come back. The spell could have gone horribly wrong, but at least if I did get back here, none of those horrors would have happened yet."
The words stopped suddenly and Harry knew instantly that Malfoy couldn't go on. One apology was more than he had ever managed in a lifetime and Harry had no doubt as to the truth in the words. But it wasn't enough.
Taking a breath, Harry closed his eyes as he spoke "I understand why you did it. I get that by the time your anger and arrogance wore off you were in too deep and couldn't get out. But it isn't enough."
"I saved your girlfriend."
The world stopped for a moment and Harry spun on his heel "what?"
"That Weasley girl, you were in love with her from what I heard. I was in a raiding party, hunting out people who had gone into hiding. We found a house hiding a few witches and wizards, most had been friendly with Dumbledore. Anyway, that red-headed girl was there. I found her in one of the rooms upstairs, she had no wand on her…I guess it was guilt. I owed you more than I could pay back, but I told the others I found nothing and kept them distracted while she escaped out of the back staircase. They never found her so she must have got to safety."
Malfoy's face was almost anxious as he waited for a response, but Harry couldn't formulate one.
Staring at Malfoy for a minute, he finally spoke.
"I don't think I will ever forgive what happened, but if you truly have changed and want the future to be different, then prove it. Don't sit on the side-lines this time. Actively change things. If you help me and I mean really help, then perhaps neither of us will have to experience that hell." Harry nearly spat the last word out and he could see Malfoy solemnly agreed.
"If we change it, then it won't exist anymore and we can try and forget. That is the best we can hope for."
There it was, the bottom line. Harry knew this would make or break how they saw each other. He would never really forgive, but perhaps forgetting was something that could be worked on.
Malfoy's pale face was set, his jaw a tad shaky, but he stuck out his hand. The green-eyed-boy hesitated, but only for a moment, before taking it and shaking it, watching the pale grey eyes as he did so.
"You have a deal Potter. I will help you. I can't promise anything, but I will try."
Harry nodded, letting go of the hand and finally made his way upstairs. As he disappeared onto the dark landing, he murmured "I don't think we need to talk about this much more at the moment. And, thank you… for Ginny."
xxxxxx
Pushing away thoughts of the momentous occurrence on the stairs, Harry closed his door softly, moving over to the lamp beside his bed. Taking out the now slightly crumpled letter, almost to distract himself, he smoothed it out and looked at the simple 'Harry' written on its front in rather sloppy writing. Opening it, he turned it over, astonished to see what was clearly muggle stationary.
Harry,
I'm not sure why I'm writing this to you, but mum said this is the only way to contact you. They told her you were at the school, since you disappeared a while ago. I didn't tell her why I wanted to talk to you and I normally wouldn't but I kind of have to. Mum and Dad don't know anything about them. I'm not one of your kind, but I know what I felt. I was walking home one night when it happened, only a bit away from the house. It got cold and sort of … wrong, and I heard rattling breath. There was nothing there when I looked and mum would think I'd gone bonkers if I told her, so I wrote to you instead. They have to be something to do with your lot, I think they were looking for you, the place seemed off for a few nights. What were they? And are they going to come back? Can they get into the house? We never liked each other, but I need help now, I don't want those things to come back
Dudley
Harry stared at the letter for a moment, before racking his brains, measuring the times. The Dudley in this time period hadn't encountered the dementors with Harry. Harry had travelled back, replacing this time period's Harry with the future one before any of the events of the dementor attack or the ministry hearing had occurred. Guess Dudley would never be telling him he wasn't a waste of space. Without those events, Dudley would never see Harry in a different light than he always had.
But judging by Dudley's mysterious letter, Umbridge wasn't aware Harry was no longer near Privet Drive, for she had sent the dementors anyway and they had undoubtedly been looking for him. He shivered at the thought of them haunting Privet Drive in pursuit of him.
Grabbing a quill and a piece of parchment from a drawer he scribbled a reply, explaining what was happening and told Dudley he would tell the right people to get rid of the dementors. As he finished the rather factual letter, Harry hesitated, thinking about how it had felt to have his cousin acknowledge him as something worthy before he departed and Harry had never seen him again. So acting on that, he took a chance and added a rather foolish-sounding 'Are you alright?' at the end of the letter.
Deciding now was the best time, he sealed the envelope and headed back down stairs and into the sitting room, where Snape and Malfoy were reading quietly, in armchairs on separate sides of the room.
Harry felt awkward invading the silence, but he knew it was somewhat of an emergency.
"Professor Snape?"
"What is it?"
There was no sharpness to the tone as usual, just subtle annoyance. Snape sounded tired and resigned, although Dumbledore's discussions tended to do that to people.
"That letter was from my cousin. He doesn't know what they are but from what he described there are dementors searching Little Whinging for me."
He briefly explained what had happened in his time, with the dementors and Umbridge, at which, Snape's face had begun to look less tired and more serious.
"I see," he murmured, standing from his seat "I will deal with this, if you two can stay out of trouble in my absence. I will not be long. It is a pity you could not have informed us of this while the headmaster was still here Potter.
There it was. The hiss, the sharpness and the accusations.
Harry bit back a retort, handing his letter addressed to Dudley to the Professor "I hadn't read the letter at that point sir and I didn't think all of this would come to pass now that the present had been altered."
Snape rolled his eyes, but said nothing to that. However he did not look at all pleased when Harry asked could his letter be delivered to Privet Drive somehow. He literally snatched it from Harry's hands and swept from the room to use the larger fireplace.
Xxxxx
Severus Snape cursed the loss of a quiet uneventful evening. He had spoken to the headmaster by floo for over an hour, debating the Umbridge situation and sent on Harry's letter to Dumbledore, who would entrust it to Hedwig alone, once it had untraceable spells placed upon it. By the time they had finished, he was severely irritated and tired. He did not sleep well in Black's old house, surrounded by creaking floorboards and unpleasant memories.
He had already decided to have a scotch before turning in that night. He could not take a dose of sleeping draught. He had to be fully aware at all times, considering the house held three of the Dark Lord's 'most wanted'. A scotch would relax him, but not knock him out. He would rather die than admit it, but he had been rather jumpy lately. The paranoia and fear of being discovered was never far from the dark man's mind and he had no naïve views on what would happen if they were discovered, particularly Potter.
He also had a constant headache due to the behaviour of his two students. One minute, Potter was about to commit murder, then he was cooking sausages for Draco and one minute Draco is his typical arrogant self, the next he is humbled almost to the point of embarrassment. It drove Snape mad, but he was thankful he did not have to come into contact with them too regularly. In fact, Potter seemed to keep to his room ninety per cent of the time, doing Merlin knows what. He had noticed the boy becoming healthier and less angry. He seemed more content in this house, something Snape did not expect. There had been traces of the old Potter visible in the last few days.
He considered the letter Potter had given him. So it was from his cousin, Petunia's son. As he fixed his promised glass of scotch, he wondered what the boy was like. Potter hadn't given away any information on what he thought about his cousin. He seemed indifferent to the boy in general, but concerned about the situation. If the boy was anything like Petunia, he was bound to be an absolute nightmare.
He sat at the kitchen table, content at the silence that reigned, sipping his drink.
But luck was not something the potions master possessed in great quantity and after only seven minutes and thirty-three seconds of silence, the kitchen door opened, oddly revealing both Potter and Malfoy. However, it was painfully clear they did not intent to come as a pair, for there was no conversation or interaction as they separated, Harry heading to make a cup of tea and Malfoy slowly cutting himself a thin slice of bread which was supposedly supper.
As the kettle whistled and Snape's patience withered, Malfoy sat at the table, his bread now holding a slice of delicious looking ham. There was the sound of a soft snort when the blonde lifted a knife and fork to eat the open sandwich and he shot a look to the dark haired boy, who was pointedly looking the other way.
Snape itched to throw the two out, but instead decided to leave himself. But before he could rise, a rather sharp crack rang through the room. Snape had his wand out in two seconds, pointing at the source of the noise, glass forgotten on the table, but it took all three males only seconds to realise it was a houself carrying groceries standing in front of them. But not just any houself…
"D-Dobby?" The disbelief came from Harry, who stared at the elf as if he were a ghost.
Snape relaxed instantly, knowing that houselves from Hogwarts were charged with filling the pantry, but the two boys were not so content with remaining inactive.
"Dobby?" Malfoy blurted out, astonished to see his old house elf in front of him, looking quite odd in various socks and jumpers of various colours. But Dobby only had eyes for one person.
"Harry Potter sir?" he squealed, eyes bugging out.
Harry gaped, before his face turned into a rather rare smile "Dobby! It is you!"
Harry made his way over to the small creature, kneeling down and grabbing the elf's hand warmly. He would never ever forget Dobby and his brave yet terrible sacrifice to help them escape Malfoy Manor. Without him, Harry would have had been captured earlier and subjected to a longer imprisonment. Even discounting all that, it was wonderful to see someone familiar, who didn't look shocked and grieved at both his appearance and story, but simply saw him as Harry Potter.
Dobby looked overwhelmed at the welcome he received and he began sobbing happily, informing Harry of each new sock he had for himself and any news he had on his position in Hogwarts.
Neither of the happy party noticed the shock and disbelief written across the two Slytherins faces at the scene. Snape couldn't believe that Harry was fawning over a house-elf. This was the same boy whom he had thought as arrogant as his father for many years and here he was, chatting with a house elf like old friends. Even more shocking was the happiness on Harry's face. His human friends seemed to have brought out the terror of his future, but this elf made him smile. The boy was clearly unhinged.
Malfoy on the other hand, couldn't believe Potter's closeness with Dobby. He had known the elf had worked on Harry's behalf, such as at Malfoy Manor, but this was surreal. It was surreal enough to see Dobby, let alone Harry Potter and Dobby almost shaking hands as equals.
"Dobby is delighted to be seeing his friend Harry Potter once more!"
"I know the feeling" Harry said kindly.
"Dobby will ask Headmaster Dumbledore if he can deliver all Harry Potters food so he may see his friend, but I has to be putting these away and getting back to the kitchens."
Dobby began to pick up the bags he had appeared with "Here I'll help you with those" Harry offered, grabbing the heavier ones and following the elf to the larder.
Dobby couldn't get his thank-you out fast enough and after several promises to see Harry soon, the elf was gone.
Xxxxx
Returning to make his tea, his chest a little lighter, Harry was met with some strange looks from Malfoy and a calculating one from Snape.
"How on earth do you know that house elf so well Potter?" the professor asked, voice incredulous.
"Er, it's rather a long story," Harry mumbled, suddenly a little embarrassed as he realised he had had an audience "but Dobby's great."
Harry decided to go to bed early to escape the weird looks, so he made his tea rather speedily.
However, just as he picked up the cup to carry to his room, a shot of pain ran through him and he wobbled slightly on his feet. Neither of the other two noticed, so he took a quiet breath and steadied himself, thinking he needed to take another dose of his potion and it would stop. But it didn't take long to realise the pain was not radiating from his chest like his regular pain. It shot down through his arm so quickly he gasped in pain.
"Potter?"
Harry couldn't turn to face his teacher, he stared at the counter surface, willing the pain to go away when it suddenly escalated. He cried out, dropping the tea, barely hearing it shatter as it hit the floor, too busy watching, terrified, as a deep cut ate its way through his palm, the skin ripping apart like tender meat, slowly, blood pooling up in the broad crack instantly. It was literally like someone was carving into his flesh with a knife.
Snape had flown over to him the minute the cry left his lips and he instantly grabbed Harry's hand, watching in sick fascination as the cut continued to just before the wrist. before stopping. By now, Harry's hand was soaked in blood, and it had dripped morbidly to the floor, making a light pitter-patter sound.
Malfoy had stood, looking pale as Snape pulled Harry over to the better light, before running his wand over the brutal incision, looking intense. Harry gritted his teeth as the wound seared, the potions master getting ever more frustrated when his diagnostic spells came back unclear. He conjured a clean towel and told Harry to hold it to the cut. He didn't want to use spells in case it reacted badly with whatever spell had caused it, so he barked at Draco to fetch his potions kit from his room. A terrified Malfoy did as he was told without hesitation and fled up the stairs.
As he reached the top stair a terrible scream ran through the house, echoing from the kitchen, which only made him run faster.
xxxxx
