Chapter 12 - Whatever It Is

She got eyes that cut you like a knife

And the lips that taste like sweet red wine…

She got a gentle way that puts me at ease

When she walks in the room I can hardly breathe…

She got whatever it is

April 19, 2008:

The doctor's office intimidated Blair as she nervously waited for the nurse to call out her name. Today was yet another prenatal check-up, and though she knew that she needed to go see the doctor, she always hated it due to the fact that she always seemed to be the youngest girl in the office.

Her leg shook fiercely and her eyes couldn't help but wander around the room at the other expectant mothers. Her arms were folded on top of her rounded stomach…she was now five months pregnant and her feet were already starting to disappear from underneath her.

"Blair," Nate's placed his cold hand on top of her shaking knee, stopping it for the moment, "calm down." She looked into his eyes and smiled weakly. "It's going to be okay…I'm right here." She nodded. This was the first appointment that Nate had been to, Serena had accompanied her for the other ones.

Her eyes stayed locked on her young husband. Why wasn't he nervous? He looked so peaceful and calm…she wondered if he was just trying to be calm for her. And if he was, she was soooo grateful to him. Blair uncrossed her arms and let one hand drop down on top of Nate's that still rested on her knee. His hand gently accepted hers and they interweaved their fingers. The other hand swiftly swirled around her stomach.

"Blair Archibald?" A dark haired nurse, dressed in Care Bear scrubs, emerged from a small hallway, holding an overstuffed folder. Nate squeezed Blair's knee as he started to rise and he held his hand out for her to take. She slowly got up and then headed towards the nurse, hand in hand with Nate.

The nurse politely smiled, "Hi."

"Hi."

"How are you feeling?" Blair and Nate followed the nurse down a bright green corridor and about halfway, light paneled doors started to appear on the walls. The nurse took a sharp right and then another sharp right, placing Blair and Nate in a room covered with different posters about pregnancy and baby stuff.

Now Nate was terrified, but he denied it every time the nurse looked at him questioningly.

"I guess I'm okay. Nothing has gone wrong." Blair answered after the nurse shut the door.

She nodded, "Good." While the nurse turned to fill out some paper work, Blair couldn't help but stare at the poster of development stages. Five months, five months, five months. Her eyes scanned the poster for the five month stage multiple times.

"Our baby's limbs are nearly done growing." Blair whispered to Nate, who just looked at her confused. The nurse laughed. "It says so on the poster: "limbs reach near-final proportions." Nate nodded. "And it's supposed to start kicking."

"Really?"

The nurse came over to Blair's right side and nodded, looking at Nate with a big grin, "Yep. You should experience some kicking in the next couple of days." Nate and Blair immediately looked at each other and smiled widely. "Okay, Blair. Have you been taking your vitamins?"

"Yes." Blair pushed her way onto the table that sat near the far side wall of the room while Nate finally took a seat by Blair's feet.

"Good. Now, how about any sharp pains?"

Blair felt Nate's eyes piercing into her skin, but she didn't look at him. "Nope. Not as of late."

"Good." The nurse jotted down more notes. "Have you been resting?"

"Yes, she has." Nate now spoke up, with much enthusiasm, as he sat tall with pride when the nurse faced him, smiling again.

"Good." The nurse wrote one final note and then turned to Blair with the blood pressure machine. Blair found this part of the checkup rather amusing…she loved seeing how far her arm could go without exploding. Then the nurse took her temperature.

"Okay, Blair." She pushed Blair down so that she was lying flat on the table. "Lets take a look at your baby." Blair smiled. Nate stood in between the wall and the table as he stood beside her, immediately grabbing his wife's soft hand. The nurse pulled Blair's up just until Blair's stomach was fully exposed.

The sonogram gel was freezing against her bare skin. She shivered, "Is it ever warm?"

The nurse chuckled, "No, not really." She placed the tiny instrument on top of Blair's stomach and a small heartbeat immediately filled the room. Nate squeezed Blair's hand tightly. She looked up at him and saw his eyes glued to the little monitor on the other side of her. She could see small tears forming and sitting quietly on his eyelashes…he was so happy. Though Blair had heard the heartbeat before in other appointments, she couldn't help but smile and tear up herself. Nate's reaction was priceless.

"That's our baby." He managed to whisper as he stood there in pure amazement. "That's our baby."

"Yes." Blair watched his unwavering eyes stay focused on the monitor.

"There it is." The nurse, who had stayed fairly quiet, pointed to the screen and the couples eyes widened in shock.

"Wow." Nate's amazement continued when he saw a white peanut shaped figure appear on the screen. Silence filled the room as the couple's eyes widened with adoration. Blair felt Nate's soft lips touch her forehead with a sweet kiss before he returned to staring at his unborn child on the monitor.

"It's only that big?" Blair asked.

The nurse grinned, "Yep."

"Then why am I so big?"

Nate laughed, "Blair, you're not big. You're beautiful."

Blair narrowed her eyes at him, "You have to say that…you're my husband." Nate was about to interrupt, but Blair stopped him. "I want to hear it from a professional unbiased person."

"Blair, you may think you're big, but you're actually right where you need to be. It may seem bigger to you because you're small in stature." The nurse moved the instrument down lower on Blair's stomach. "You're a tiny girl. Plus, you're young. Maybe you haven't had your growth spurt yet."

Blair nodded, "Okay."

"Would you like a picture of your baby?"

"Yes!" Nate jumped immediately. Blair knew he was going to be a perfect father…she didn't think that it was possible for her to fall even more in love with him, but after the appointment, she knew that it was.

XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO

"Hey!" Serena was anxiously waiting for Dan at the elevator doors in her house and once they opened, she was instantly in his arms, almost sending him to the floor. Dan's face was ambushed by Serena's fruity glossy lips covering his in sweet kisses and then her face buried itself in his shoulder as they exchanged a hug.

Dan was so surprised, he was speechless.

"Speak." Serena laughed as she pulled her boyfriend into the house, leading him over to the sitting area. "You can speak, right?"

Dan shook his head to get him to focus, "Of course." Serena smiled and quickly sat down on the couch, pulling Dan down with her just so that she could place her legs across his lap. But Dan didn't mind. "I'm just shocked, that's all."

Serena leaned her head against the palm of her hand that rested on the back of the couch and looked into Dan's soft eyes, "I'm going to take that as a good thing."

Dan nodded, smiling, "Yeah, you should. That was…" He stuttered, "That was quite a good, good surprise."

"Why tha-"

"Serena!!" The couple heard the elevator doors open, echoing a familiar scream into the house. Dan rolled his eyes, sighing and dropped his head to avoid what was about to come through the doors.

"Serena!" Blair and Nate walked hand in hand into house, immediately spotting Dan and Serena together on the couch.

"Hey, Blair." Serena's enthusiasm couldn't have been any more fake. She smiled as she watched her best friend waddle towards her, while Nate separated from her and headed towards Dan's side of the couch. "What's up?"

"Look!" Blair shoved the picture into Serena's hands and watched her friend's smile grow even wider.

"Oh my g-d, B!!!" The two girls squealed in sync with each other and tightly hugged each other as Serena continued to admire the small little picture Blair had given her.

"What's with them?" Dan asked as he stood beside Nate.

"That's the baby sonogram."

Dan's eyes widened, "Wow." Nate nodded. "Hey, Nate, I know I haven't said this yet, so um…congratulations." Nate grinned and pulled Nate into a manly hug.

"B, I can already tell that its going to be the cutest baby ever! Do you see the size of its biceps? Its definitely flexing its muscles." Serena joked as she helped Blair sit down, eventually taking a seat next to her.

"Well then it takes after its daddy." Blair smiled at Nate.

But Nate shook his head in disagreement as he looked at Blair's sparkling eyes, "I do not flex my muscles, baby."

"Did you find out what it's going to be? Like a boy or a girl?" Dan interrupted politely. Serena was surprised when Dan seemed to show interest in Blair's baby. She glanced up at him and smiled. He winked at her.

Nate shook his head, "No. We decided that we want it to be a surprise." Blair nodded in agreement and the young couple caught each other's glances yet again. Serena saw the way they looked at each other and she could only adore their love for each other.

"Blair, you have to let me help you pick out names. It'll be so much fun!"

XOXO…GOSSIPGIRL…XOXO

Chuck sat quietly at the top of the stairs in the house, intently watching the two couples interact like they had known each other since they were born. He felt left out.

After he surveyed the situation, his eyes locked on Blair. It was true, what everyone said about pregnant women glowing; Blair was radiating with a blinding glow that only seemed to attract Chuck even more. Her laugh sent shock waves through the room and its enticing nature only echoed throughout the somewhat empty halls. But her laugh was contagious and whenever she did laughed, he couldn't help but smile. He desperately wanted to go down and join in on the fun, but he had held his distance so well since Nate and Blair had gotten married. He could vaguely remember being around the both of them outside of school. He had only helped Nate with his Valentines Day plan…he hadn't run into Blair since the wedding. Since he had professed his love for her yet again.

He shuffled to make himself more comfortable. It was a quiet shuffle, something that wouldn't have been detected if there was complete silence, but it attracted some attention from the company downstairs. Blair glanced directly backwards, but found nothing. Her eyes didn't stop there though, they continued to wander behind her and they eventually fell on Chuck at the top of the staircase. No one else seemed to notice that she wasn't paying attention or that he was watching them.

Blair's eyes ripped through Chuck's guilty heart. He knew that she probably didn't appreciate his absence from her world. Chuck didn't move, even though his cover was blown, and he continued to stare deeply into her gaze.

She smiled weakly, he saw her hand gently rubbing her pregnant belly, and he knew that she was waiting for some kind of recognition from him. So he smiled. To him it was a painful smile, but to Blair, it was smile of hope. She needed Chuck…she just didn't know how or in what way just yet.

And he needed her. Not in the same way that she needed him, but he would take her in any way. Right now, he would take her as a friend. She provided that comfort that he had always felt around her. And when she wasn't in his life, his world was a complete mess. He was always getting into trouble, drugs became more and more of a problem, and Serena had always found him with three different girls each night.

Blair was his stability. And he was Blair's addiction. She felt an emptiness without him in her life…and it didn't matter what way he was involved.

The fact was: they needed each other. And through that intensely long gaze, they found some of those answers. They found the missing pieces.