Chapter Twelve

"So, uh, how are you guys doing?" Deems asked, nervously. He was worried about making Lacy any more mad than she already was, and it seemed that his breathing alone would trigger her.

"Awful, considering you're still here."

"Well, excuse me. I can't help it that I'm so amazing."

"Pffft, you're amazing?" Att interjected, "I'm like, twice, if not thrice as amazing!"

"As if! You're just a boring defense attorney, while I'm the judge – King of the Courtroom!" Of course, he didn't mention the bit about how Lacy wouldn't ever let him do anything – he didn't need to bring that part to attention.

"King of the Courtroom? More like King of Not Being as Amazing as Att."

"Ooh, you want to go there? I'll have you know a local newspaper once called me 'amazingly inept.' So, uh, yeah, I think I know what I'm talking about."

"I think they may have been saying you're an idiot..."

"Hmph, as if! They said 'amazingly' and everything. You're just jealous you're not as great as I am."

"Ugh, fine. Why don't we settle this like men? A contest to see which one of us is more amazing."

"Oho, a rock-paper-scissors tournament? You're on!"

"Uh, no, I meant an intense round of thumb wrestling, but your idea is good too."

"It's settled then! A rock-paper-scissors tournament to see which one of us is the most amazing. Who else is competing?"

Deems looked around the room, expecting to see surges of hands. But, most of the gallery had left, and those who haven't seemed to be sleeping. Case, however, was eager to join in, dragging a reluctant Lacy behind him.

"Just us four, then?" Deems balked, disappointed.

"I would be happy to step out, especially if it would make you even more miserable."

"No way, Lacy." Case objected, "You have to compete – how else are we going to find out who the most amazing is?"

"By not finding out at all, and realizing that this silly little contest won't determine anything of actual substance?"

"No can do – we're having a rock-paper-scissors contest." Att intervened. "We'll do two matches, winner against winner for the final – best out of three."

"Fine." Deems agreed. "But I get to go against Lacy first. It's bout time I show her what a real man looks like."

"Certainly not like you." Lacy retorted.

"Oooh, that's it. You're going to lose so badly."

"Well, you kids have fun." Case encouraged, as he and Att stepped aside to have their match.

With a sigh, Lacy prepared herself. She honestly couldn't care less about this childish competition – it was nothing more than a waste of her time.

"Ready?!" Deems demanded. "Go! Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

As Deems swung his hand down, he kept it as fist. But, Lacy, on the other hand (heh, get it? Man, I'm worse than Case...) formed her hand into a pair of scissors. "Ha, I win!" Deems declared. "Just one more, and I'll be on my way to champion!"

"Sure, okay. C'mon, let's finish already."

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" Deems, once again, formed a rock. Lacy, however, turned her hand into paper.

"Ugh, fine, so you might have won that one, but I'll win the last one!"

"Sure, whatever."

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" Deems, thinking himself a genius, went with scissors this time. Lacy, of course, actually being a genius, went with rock.

"Well, looks like I win. Great."

"That's only because you cheated! Nobody ever said you were allowed to be smarter than me." Deems stubbornly replied, hands on his hips.

"Okay, fine. Why don't you just move on instead, anything so I don't have to continue this buffoonery."

Deems, wary to accept any sort of goodwill from Lacy, even if was due to her own apathy, reluctantly accepted her invitation. "Fine, I'm claiming this as a win for myself. It's not my fault you cheated."

Att, meanwhile, marches away from Case, triumphant. Holding three fingers in the air, he boomed "And I win all three! Ready to go, Lacy?"

"No. I don't want to participate anymore. You and Deems can knock yourselves out."

"Oh, I see it is. No fear – there's no shame in losing to me, you would not have been the first."

"Yes, that's exactly it. I was worried I might lose to you at rock-paper-scissors."

"It's okay, I know." Att replied, ignorant of Lacy's sarcasm. "Well, Deems, ready to face your defeat?"

"Not a chance. The only defeat I'm ready to face is yours!" he proclaimed, readying himself to bring Att to his knees.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

But, before either had a chance to viciously slaughter the other in a brutal game of rock, paper, scissors, the courtroom doors smashed open.