Disclaimer: I do not own Hey Arnold.

Disclaimer 2: I do not own any song lyrics by Whitesnake, Warrant, Cinderella, or Outkast.

AN: So many years ago...thank you for reading.

I awoke to the sound of Patty and Rhonda barking down each other's throats outside the nurse's clinic. It was recommended I lie down for a little while after I'd blacked out.

"I knew I could never trust you, ya little skeez!"

"It's not MY fault Harold sees something in me that he could NEVER see in you. After all, I AM the most popular girl in school. You might have manners, but you certainly have no clue how to dress for a man."

"I dress however I please!"

"Well, I can certainly see that. Maybe that's why Har-"

"Shut your mouth about Harold, ya boyfriend stealing snob! You think you can have any guy you want, have your way with him, and then dump him like he was a filthy piece of trash! Well, I guess you got your-"

"Ugh! You only brought that up because YOU'RE jealous!"

"Let's dance, right here, right now!" I could hear shuffling followed by a creaking door.

"All right, ladies, in my office."

"Oh good! You're awake, Arnold. How are you feeling, dear?" Sheena's aunt searched my eyes with deep empathy. Since she'd transferred to the high school five years ago, she always carried affection for her 'former' patients.

"I don't know, " I responded, clearly unsure of my introspection.

"They set the thermostat a little too high in Mrs. Propert's room as well as in some of the other English classes. Seems your girlfriend passed out too."

"My girlfriend?"

"Yes, Helga, the tall blonde girl is your sweetheart, right?" Her question I had no answer for. What WAS my relationship with Helga? If I'd been speculating on it before, the video I'd witnessed not too long ago left me in an even greater state of consternation. "That's all right, honey. You don't have to answer. I can understand the discomfort you two must be experiencing. It's not every day your personal life is displayed for public viewing."

"Um..." I wasn't sure if I should ask her, but despite my own minds' disorientation, I was partially worried. "Is...is Helga...is she...okay?"

"That nice quiet bespectacled gentleman brought her in about five minutes after he accompanied you here. I do believe she was terribly distraught over the complete situation."

"Where is she now?"

"She's in the sick room and refuses to come out."

"Can I...can I...maybe talk to her?" As terrified as I was carrying out this request, I discerned it was by my persuasion alone that perchance would compel Helga to depart from seclusion.

"You can try, but I can't guarantee you'll have any success. Of course, since you two are obviously so close, your asking could get some results." I brushed off her remark by moving to the sick room's door and started beating on it.

"Criminey! I said I'm NOT comin' out!" she vociferated.

"H-Helga?...It...it's me...Ar...Arnold..." No answer was returned from behind the door, forcing me to knock again. "Come on, you can't stay in there forever."

After about five minutes, I heard the latch unfasten, the heavy obstruction opening slightly, no longer keeping the two of us from the sight of one another. I grabbed the handle, pulling the door further open, extending the entrance and although my entire existance was trembling profoundly, I attempted to voice a few words to her. Her back was facing me, but that didn't make it any easier.

"Helga, I...I...what I wanna know is...what...what really...what really hap-"

"Oh good, you've convinced her to leave the sick room. The school psychologist is here to see the both of you. You can come on back now, Dr. Bliss. Helga's finally emerged from her hiding quarters."

"Dr. Bliss?" Helga's ears perked up at the mention of the familiar name and she circled around to behold a petite brunette with mahogany eyes. "Hey, you're not the Dr. Bliss I know."

"You must be familiar with my sister, Christine then. She deals mostly with younger patients, although she's been known to keep a subject up until the age of eighteen if she deems it necessary." At this, Helga swallowed hard, but I didn't understand why, so I let it pass. "I stopped by because after the unexpected events invoving the two of you, I'm here to inform you if there are any unresolved issues you're experiencing, my office is always open and you're welcome to drop by to schedule an appointment at any time."

"Thanks, but I don't need a shrink provoking me to spill my guts out."

"Then I guess you're a-"

"That's right! I'm a perfectly stable minded individual!"

"All right then, but I'm going to give the both of you my card that has the number to my private office on it. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything." With that, the tiny woman whirled around , her shoulder length hair swaying as she advanced her way toward the exit. No sooner had she left when Sheena's aunt returned and gestured for us to sit down on the bed.

"Now, I know this is uncomfortable for you, but as the school nurse, it is my duty to issue these pamplets to every intimate couple as well as distribute these items." She then handed me a small black rectangular box with the word Trojan emblazoned across the front. My eyes stared at the package, while my hands let it fall onto my lap directly from my unsurpassable shock. If I'd thought earlier that this was the worst day of my life, I had to reevaluate those thoughts, because in all actuality, this had to be the most mortifying experience of my life I'd ever encountered! Whatever I'd been reflecting on, it seemed the additional pamplet that was given to Helga had affected her extensively. Her head was buried between her legs, her hands pulling at her hair, and she sat like that for about a minute, then shot up like a firecracker without warning.

"I'm outta here!" she snarled.

"Are you sure you're feeling well enough to leave?"

"Oh, I'm fine all right!" was Helga's riposte as she slammed the door entering the crowded hallway to an earful of cheers and suggestive remarks. If I knew anything about Helga, and I thought I might at least know a think or two about her temper, those student's delivering the wisecracks had better be standing at least ten feet away from her. The door once again swinging open and then slamming shut caught me by surprise. It was to my amusement I witnessed the terror stricken expression on Harold's face.

"Someone get me outta here!" he whimpered.

"What's the matter, Harold?"

"You gotta help me, Arnold! I don't know what I'm gonna do! After they both got detention for two weeks, they decided to gang up on me if I didn't choose one or the other!"

"Who's gonna gang up on you?"

"Patty and Rhonda! What should I do?"

"It's as simple as choosing one girl and sticking with her."

"That's easy for YOU to say. You already got a steady girlfriend."

"I DO NOT have a steady girlfriend, Harold."

"Suuuure, Aaaarnold! That's not what I got from Wolfgang's vid-" Our conversation was disrupted by Jamil making his appearance in the room.

"I'm horribly horribly sorry for barging in on your private conversation. I just came for some acetaminophen. This situation...this entire situation...I find it terribly terribly distressing."

"Join the club!" Harold commented as the boy requested for his aspirin from Sheena's aunt Sally. Once he'd departed we picked the discussion back up.

"Like I said before, Harold, it's as simple as choosing Patty or Rhonda."

"I guess you're right, Arnold, besides, Rhonda seems to have her eye on another guy anyway."

"Who would that be?"

"He's in your English class. You know, the 'eccentric' one with the black hair?"

"Yeah, I know who you're talking about," I returned. As I was responding, I took notice of Harold's down cast eyes, his jaw dropping at the black box I'd forgotten was sitting on my lap.

"Aaaaarnold?! So...you and Helga really did...?!"

"Did what?" I didn't want to know what he was trying to imply.

"You guys had...?!"

"Had what?"

"Come on, Arnold! Don't play stupid with me! I saw that whole video and you're not gonna tell me you guys didn't-"

"Harold, I don't know what you're talking about because I didn't get a chance to see the entire video. I passed out because it was too hot in the room." I wasn't about to tell him the actual cause of my blackout.

"I bet you passed out! No matter how many times you lie to me, you can't deny what happened forever!"

"For the last time, Harold, I'm NOT lying, so why don't you do yourself a favor. Get out of here and go pick a girlfriend!"

"Fine! But I still know you're lyin'!"

"Whatever." I was glad for him to leave, then realized I needed to leave also, however, from Harold's insistance that Helga and I 'did something' I knew I'd have difficulty even trying to explain myself to every student I bumped into. Repeating Helga's gesture, I swallowed hard, then inhaled deeply before opening the door.

If hell hadn't surfaced from the depths of the deepest cess pool today, I might have still had my wits about me. How would I ever get through the end of this completely mortifying day?! At least Arnold hadn't avoided me like I assumed he might have. It blew me away that it was HE who practically beat the sick room door down, convincing me to at least unlock it. Despite the fact that he entered the room, I couldn't even lay eyes on my beloved, for I was terrified of what kind of reaction I might receive from him. I was overjoyed when Dr. Bliss interrupted his questions. It didn't surprise me what he'd asked because I'd never told him the whole story. What upset me most was that I knew I'd have to reveal to him what really happened two years ago. Unfortunately, Wolfgang and Ludwig with their asinine video were forcing me to do it sooner than I wanted to, or was willingly ready to tell Arnold about the entire ordeal. Why couldn't teenagers focus more on homework than childish gossip? Yeah, the video was a 'sight' to see, but criminey, didn't the students have anything better to discuss than what they thought was mine and Arnold's private life?! Maybe I should have never returned to public school! What did I do to deserve this?! That question I took back because I knew I'd better not answer it. While my mind kept wandering, I ignored every student who chose to take a crack at me or Arnold, or me and Arnold, that is, I chose to ignore every student but one. The one student with whom I was passionately disgusted with happened to be standing at the foot of the high school's steps as I exited the building.

"Hey, Helga." He smiled satifactorily at me.

"What do you want, Jack?"

"Remember when I said you oughtta be scared? Well, I guess I got you and that football headed loverboy of yours pretty good, didn't I?" My eyes expanded to the size of tennis balls from hearing his declaration.

"YOU?! Why I oughtta..." I had to force back the rage that was surfacing from my body back down my throat.

"So, did you say, 'shake me' you know?" His attempt to belittle me was only adding to my anger and I was in no mood to play his juvenile games. "And I bet you did, Helga, didn't you? Did you shake it for Arnold? Did you shake for him like a polaroid picture?" At that crack, I couldn't control my rage any longer. Old Betsy came out of retirement making contact with the side of Jack's jaw. Ohhh, but I wasn't through with him yet! Since he was built like Henry, there was no way I could knock him down with one blow, so I used a Tae Kwon Do move on him, forcing his rear to land in the trash can.

"Say anything else and you'll be lucky if you're conscious! By the way, you can tell Wolfgang and Ludwig, that when I can think of something, they'll get theirs! Mark my words! Oh, and I hope when HENRY hears about this, there won't be anything left of your ass!" Whoa! I knew I'd better start using some methods from my anger management class to control my irritability. There was NO WAY I was stepping on that but this afternoon! For that matter there was NO WAY I was going home right right away either. Ooolga was coming home for the weekend and I wanted no part of it, especially not today. What I really needed to do right now was call MY Dr. Bliss, but decided I'd do it after I spent some time down by the docks.

By the time I'd made it to the high school's front double doors, I was so confused it felt as if my brain might literally explode! With every bypasser, I'd been receiving comments like, 'Hey, Cowboy' or 'you're a REAL man' or 'way to score, buddy!' What I thought I'd better do is take a peek into Wolfgang's site because I had a hunch I might find some kind of scenerio involving Helga and myself, although it seemed pretty clear what everybody was thinking.

"Fresh air!" I said to no one, as I left the building. Down below, Sid and Stinky were waiting for me. Whatever mouthful Sid might throw at me, I wasn't about to tolerate, not today.

"Hey, Arnold, I see you and Helga were really gettin' it on! Hubba! Hubba! So did you slide it in?"

"I bet he had hisself a piece o' cherry pie!" Stinky added on.

Because I was so enraged by their juvenile behavior, I let my fist fly right into Sid's nose, knocking him to the ground, then I took my other fist and slammed it into Stinky's mouth. Both gentlemen were startled by my unusual behavior and by the black box that had fallen out of my shirt pocket. I picked it up quickly and shoved it into the left front side of my jeans pocket. My anger still hadn't cooled and I started yelling at them.

"SID'S WAS FOR OLD BETSY AND STINKY'S WAS FOR THE FIVE AVENGERS!" As to why the hell I shouted that out at them I was unsure of.

"Arnold? What did you do that for? We were only kidding!" Sid tried to justify himself.

"Yeah, Arnold, we was just jokin'!"

"You two need to get your perverted minds out of the gutter and get a life!" I yelled turning opposite of the two to WALK home. I wasn't taking the bus this afternoon for fear of more crazy events.

"Arnold?!..Arnold?!..Hey Aaarnold! Ehh, hehh, hehh, hehh!" I heard Sid cry.

"Man, this really bites!"

This was NOT me! I'd never hit my friends before. Hell, I'd acted worse than Helga ever did! She NEVER hit Phoebe! I was afraid of what might happen if I'd run across Gerald right now if he'd found out what happened. Hopefully, he never would. Maybe a walk would clear my head. The walk had just the opposite effect, for my mind was clouded over in more confusion. Home really wasn't where I wanted to go, but I needed to 'check in' on Grandma and Grandpa, especially Grandma. She hadn't seemed her 'crazy old self' lately. When I'd mentioned to her I was doing my world history project with Helga on Brazil, she gave me all sorts of numerous facts on the country, REAL facts, because I had looked them up. What was stranger than that was that she hadn't used any of her pet names for me. Right now, I had to blow it off and act like I wasn't concerned. Grandpa would probably fill me in on the details later.

Abner, along with a string of stray cats made a mad dash out the front steps as I entered the boarding house. To my surprise, Grandpa was standing there with a troubled look on his face.

"Hi, Grandpa. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine here, Shortman. I got a call from the high school about an hour ago. Is there somethin' you wanna tell me?"

"No, why?"

"Seems the school shrink saw you knocking the lights out of two of your friends. That's mighty unusual behavior for you, Arnold. You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really, Grandpa. It's just that some really weird stuff happened today that made me angry."

"Does this involve your little blonde friend, by any chance?"

"I said I didn't want to talk about it, Grandpa!"

"All right! All right! Sheesh! Now I can see WHY you've got a mandatory appointment with that Dr. Bliss lady first thing Monday after school!"

"Mandatory appointment?"

"That's right, Shortman."

"Grandpa?"

"What is it, Arnold?"

"I'm sorry. I think I'm gonna go for a walk to try and clear my head."

"A walk might do ya some good. Dinner will be waitin' on ya." The thought of that made my stomach churn.

"See ya later, Grandpa," I replied as I headed for the docks.

AN: Constructive criticism is always welcome.