CHAPTER TWELVE – GAME OVER, NERFHERDERS

SIERRA

"Sorry about your birthday," I apologize to Steela as we jostle for space in the vanity mirror.

Steela shrugs. "It's not a big deal. Besides, you already gave me your present."

"I did." After the college kids and their water tank left, I spent the rest of the day hauling Steela's stuff from Piece of Crap to the new ship, under strict instructions not to look at anything. "What do you have in your trunk, bricks?"

"Maybe," she blows on her nails to dry them. "Hey, when we go on the job tonight? Stick with me or one of the guys."

I roll my eyes. "I'm a grifter, Steela, and I'm eighteen. I can handle a college party."

"You're out of your element," She insists. "All your aliases are professionals. And honestly Sierra, so are you. You don't understand being a normal teenager."

Says the woman who led a rebellion at the ripe old age of sixteen. "That's not true."

Steela opens my wardrobe and gestures to my clothes: all white, navy blue, black, or gray and semi-professional.

"Okay, you might have a point."

She sizes me up. "Oh, I definitely have a point. Hey Hero! Will you come in here please?"

"Why do we need Hero? I got party clothes at the thrift store."

Hero pops her head in. "Steela, do you need – oh. Oh man Sierra, what have we done to you?"

I raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Hero sighs, comes behind me and starts yanking the pins out of my hair, destroying the hairstyle. "This should be your easiest costume yet, but you look like a thirty-year-old in a teenager's body. That's sad."

"How is it sad?" I wince as she scrunches her fingers through my hair and grabs the hairspray. "I like my clothes."

Hero stops teasing my hair for a second. "It just is. Steela, my makeup bag's in my room. We're going to need it." She leans over my shoulder. "This is your time to be creative. Come on, tell me the last time you wore something like this?"

I look down at my outfit: a hot pink and black striped cocktail dress. "It's probably going to be the only time in my life."

"Exactly," Hero confirms. "So live it up, sister. Now, let's fix your makeup."

When Hero gets done with me I have on way more eye makeup than usual, my lips are pink, and my hair is still warm from where she attacked it with a curling iron and a blow dryer.

"Gah, I love this," she says. "I feel like a big sister. Katooni wears her headdress so I never get to do this. Can't wait until Molly's hair grows out."

"God forbid they ever go to college parties," I say sourly. Steela walks in, adjusting her dress straps. "See, I'm not the only one who hates this!"

"True," Steela agrees, "But at least I know how to do it."

I roll my eyes and yank my shoes on. "All right, enough about clothes. Let's go rob this place blind."

"According to the comms, the party is still contained at the frat house," Hutch says as we drive over. "The sorority probably isn't going to risk hosting overflow since they got put on probation, so we can safely bet that they're all there."

"What's the target?" Saw asks. "Or are we just going to booby-trap the house like they booby-trapped my shoes?"

"It looks like this party charges admission, and that's their big fundraiser. We steal that money, and they're not going to be able to pay for anything."

"Once we have it, we'll hold it hostage until we're done moving, at which point we'll give it back. I don't think they're brazen enough to mess with us while we have their money." Lux explains.

"The girls won't. The guys might," Ahsoka muses.

"Why the guys and not the girls?"

I don't want anyone to irk their husband or boyfriend, so as the only single woman I take one for the team. "Because guys are idiots."

Saw elbows me, hard.

"Ow!"

"Deserved it," he gloats, but three seconds later clandestinely checks to make sure he didn't leave a mark.

Captain Rex parks the speeder. "Let's get this over with. Force, I hate these parties."

"Most guys would dream of going to a frat party with their girlfriend." Steela mutters, tossing an arm over Rex's shoulders. "When have you last been to a party, Rex?"

"This morning. Your birthday party, although I haven't given you your present yet."

"That wasn't her party; we didn't have cake," Saw says. "We'll have a real party once this all is over."

"I'd love to talk more about Steela's birthday, but unfortunately we have a job to do," Lux says, taking Ahsoka's hand. "Ahsoka and I are going to try and blend in to run surveillance. Hero and Rex, you're on cash grab duty. The rest of you, create a distraction. And Saw, watch Sierra."

"I don't need babysitting!" I squawk.

"At a frat party, you do," Lux says.

I squint and quicken my pace toward the house, trying to sort out my alias as I walk. I'm a freshman, majoring in… communications, I decide. And I'm not in any of the other sororities, so I don't have to worry about those connections. As for everything else – I'll say I transferred from U of Onderon.

Saw's hand grabs my shoulder and yanks me back, making sure I can't take off without him. "You're not ditching me that easily. I take my brotherly duties very seriously."

"I feel so loved, Saw."

"You should," he and Steela say in unison.

We climb the porch stairs, deposit our five credits' admission into a large bucket guarded by a frat guy not that much older than me, and we're in.

If Phi Kappa Lambda's dock party was wild, then this frat party belongs nowhere but the Onderonian jungle. The smell of beer barely mingles with the odor of death stick smoke to form a thick, disgusting smog. All around me people are drinking, dancing, or attempting various feats each stupider than the last.

"Holy cow. U of Onderon never threw parties like this," Hero whistles.

"That's because the University of Kuat is number four in the top ten party schools in the galaxy," Hutch says. "U of Onderon isn't even close."

"If this is four, I don't want to see number one. Steela, status report. Do you think you can grab the cash?" Lux asks.

"If you can get that guard to look away, heck yeah. They just have it sitting in those buckets; not even chained down. My hands are twitching just looking at it."

"Sometimes I wonder about you," Saw says and looks around the room. "We need a distraction. Sierra, got any ideas?"

"Half the stuff in this house is a distraction." As if to prove my point, a guy comes sliding down the banister on a circular sled.

Saw rubs his chin. "Okay, let me think. What worked in my house parties?" He hits on an idea. "I got it. See that keg?"

I do. "No way, Saw."

But Saw just puffs his chest out. "I can do it. I've done it before. All you have to do is hold my legs and chant."

I have a horrible feeling about it, but I've seen enough movies to know what happens during a keg stand. Saw flips himself upside down and I take his legs as he fits the keg's nozzle into his mouth.

"Chug!" I cheer, my voice steadily gaining volume. "Chug! Chug!"

A crowd of people in the room starts to gather around, situating themselves into the cheer. In the background, I see Steela sidling over toward the money.

The chant rips my attention away from her and back to Saw, who's starting to shake as he guzzles the beer.

"All clear. I've got the credits in my purse," Steela whispers.

As soon as she says it, Saw spits out the nozzle and starts gasping for sweet, sweet air.

"Not beer," he gasps, collapsing to the ground in a heap. "Not beer!"

I put my finger to the nozzle and experimentally taste the liquid. The taste of alcohol burns across my tongue. "Gah! Is this jungle juice?"

"Saw, you did a keg stand with jungle juice?" Ahsoka cries in disbelief.

Saw doesn't answer, so I slip myself under his arm and help him to his feet. "Okay, let's walk; we're done here anyway. Tell me if you think you're going to get sick."

"Ooh," he groans. "That might just happen. That stuff is nasty."

"Well it worked. I've got everything we need." Steela takes Saw's other shoulder, the handbag full of credits in her other hand. "The next time we have to deal with any of them, it'll be as we leave on our new ship."

Just then the front door slams shut in front of us, and Jenn fills the frame.

"Game over, nerfherders," she growls.

At the sound of the slamming door, the other people in the room decide that the party on the lawn looks a lot better than over here.

My blood freezes, but I keep my cool. "Nothing's over. Our brother had too much to drink and we're taking him home."

Jenn laughs. "Do you think I'm blind or just stupid?" her eyes linger on Steela's credit-stuffed handbag. "That guy at the front might be an idiot, but I'm not. That's their rent money, and they pay us out of it too."

"Look," Steela says weakly. "Let's go outside and talk about this. This rivalry has dragged on way too long."

"Real convenient for you to say as you stand there trying to rip us off," Jenn snorts, and then she reaches into her pocket and says the four words no con artist wants to hear.

"I'm calling the cops."

STEELA

It takes a second for Jenn's words to sink into the rest of the team's ears. Me, I have no such hesitation.

I thrust the bag of credits at a still-drink-dulled Saw, then lunge at Jenn and her comlink. "You don't want to do that!"

Jenn wrenches the comlink away, but I catch her wrist and squeeze, a trick Saw used on me when we were children. I squeeze harder and harder until her hand releases and the comlink clatters to the ground.

"Give that back, you kriffing schutta!" she yells, straining against me.

"Sierra, get rid of it!" I order.

Sierra dumps Saw onto the nearest couch and scrambles after the comlink, but she doesn't have to: a hand wraps around the comlink and scoops it off the floor.

"It's a little hard to call the cops without a comlink," Ahsoka says sweetly, stuffing the device down her shirt.

The front door opens and in walks the rest of our crew, triumph on their faces.

Jenn freezes against the wall and against my better judgement I let her go, leaving her to stare at us.

"This ends right here, right now," Ahsoka declares, gesturing at the floor to prove her point. "We're taking the money with us. You and the frat can come get it back when we're done moving. Until then, you will not bother us. You will not prank us, you will not throw parties around us, and you will not heckle us. Do you understand?" Jenn nods. "Good. Then leave."

Jenn slinks off into another part of the house, leaving us in the living room.

"Something's fishy," Sierra says. "It just doesn't add up. Jenn hasn't gone down without a fight in the past; she's always fought blow-for-blow. So why just give up and go away to sulk?"

"Because she's not,"

Suddenly, Hero snaps to attention. "Oh my God. Steela, do you remember when we were kids and my mom took away my comlink?"

"You called us from the neighbor's house," I remember, realization filling me. "Because -."

"Because they had a landline," Hero finishes and puts a finger to her comm. "Hutch! Does the frat have a phone bill?"

Hutch's voice shakes through the comm. "They don't use it much, but it's still hooked up."

"That must be where she's going," Lux growls. "Everyone, split up. We have to find that phone!"

Game over, in more ways than one. Whatever Jenn is majoring in, perhaps she should consider working for the ISB.

Thank you to starwarshobbitfics, MusicKeeper, TessaFred, and McAwsome as well as to everyone who reviewed last chapter. For some reason, the site wouldn't let me edit the documents in the Doc Manager to add an author's note.

Until next time,

LS