12. Magnificent
The interior of the Grand-S was a warren of smooth, copper tunnels interspersed here and there with pipes that hissed steam whenever Tetra and the Baron passed by. Tetra looked around, impressed, but not wanting to show it. She was a captain, not a giddy little girl.
"I didn't realise they'd activated it," she said, her voice echoing.
The Baron smiled, but said nothing in reply. They walked past a battery of glistening black cannons. One particularly large one was segmented with gold rings. Von JoBo pointed this one out.
"I had that one installed myself," he said. "The biggest one here."
"Really," breathed Tetra. "It's magnificent."
"Yes." He turned to her, a gleam in his eye. "Would you...like to touch my big cannon?"
Tetra stopped short. "What?" she squeaked.
The Baron laughed and trotted ahead. Tetra hated herself for the way her cheeks were burning just then.
"Ah ha," Von JoBo said, stopping at a tall, steel-runged ladder. Tetra joined him and peered up. It reached up to the very top of the Grand-S. "Follow me."
She did. When Von JoBo reached the platform above, he leaned over and held out his hand for her. Tetra smiled.
Nice to meet a pirate with manners.
Tetra took his hand. He pulled her up, then suddenly drew her close. Tetra gasped.
Their eyes met. Baron spoke in a whisper. "Would you like to see the cockpit?"
Tetra's knees trembled. "Huh?"
"The cockpit," Von JoBo replied with a smile. "The control room to the Grand-S."
"Oh... Oh!" Flustered, she quickly cleared her throat. "Yeah. Of course."
"It's just here," he said as he let her go. "In the head."
They entered a door into a small room with two large, round windows, a huge chair, and brass-coloured levers and dials.
"Take a seat," said the Baron.
Tetra smiled as she sank into the cavernous chair. The pale blue windows directly ahead were the giant machine's eyeholes, she realised. She saw lights scattered like fairy dust all over the Tower Island village, saw steam drifting off the island's volcano and, finally, saw the faint gleam of dawn pushing back the night in the east.
Tetra glanced down. Metallic sleeves were pinned to each of the chair's armrests. She slipped her hands inside, quickly noticed the snug fit.
"You see," the Baron said softly. "Once the Grand-S is activated, the enchantments they've put in will allow you to be the machine. You'll see what it sees, you'll walk as it walks, move as it moves." Von JoBo inhaled deeply. "You'll forget yourself. There will only be your mind and the Grand-S. A magnificent beast."
Tetra frowned. "Activated...?" she said as she withdrew her arms from the metal sleeves. "I thought it already was."
A new voice replied. "Not without the key."
Tetra spun out of the chair, every muscle tensed, and drew her pistol. The Baron stepped in front of her, face hard, his sword drawn in an instant.
Ugh, she thought as she craned her head to try and look past Von JoBo. I take it back. Stuff your manners.
A trio of armed Rito faced them. Their dark eyes glittered. One of them was dressed in a royal-blue cloak - clearly the leader. He stepped forward.
"You," he said, staring directly at Tetra. "You are the one who has the key."
Tetra pulled the hammer of her pistol back with her thumb. It locked in with a crack. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said, voice heavy with menace.
"Keep away from her, you fiends," growled the Baron. "How did you three even get in here?"
"I can handle this," she snapped, then glanced at him and softened her tone. "But it's very sweet of you, anyway." Tetra turned her attention back to the Rito. "So you're the ones who have been trying to kill me."
The lead Rito hissed. "No," he said. "We need you. You have the key. The sacred key. Only royal blood can touch it."
Tetra aimed. "I'm getting bored."
Panic shone in the Rito's eyes. "You found a treasure chest, did you not?"
Tetra blinked, then looked up. "Go on."
"In it is the key," the Rito persisted. "Only you can touch it." He bowed his head. "Your Highness."
"Don't listen to him," said the Baron. "These are the beasts that killed my family. They're not to be trusted."
Tetra ignored him. "We couldn't open the chest."
Confusion rippled over the Rito's face. "You...couldn't...?"
"See!" said Von JoBo in triumph. "He was lying!" His face filled with dark malice. "Let's kill them."
"Wait!" The lead Rito threw up his arms. "We do not wish to kill you, Princess Zelda."
"It's Tetra," she snarled.
"But," the Rito went on regardless. "There are those who wish to see you dead. They are building their own machine, and can't afford you to activate this one." He paused to take a breath. "They know that you will stop them. You are the princess, after all."
"Who?" Tetra snapped. "And who sent you?"
All three Rito stood up straight. "We'll take you to them," the leader said.
Tetra barked a laugh in response. "Whatever. I'm not idiot enough to go anywhere with you."
"A shame," the Rito said softly, his hand dropping to his sword. "Then we'll just have to make you." All three drew steel.
The air grew tense. Tetra wrapped a finger around her pistol's trigger.
The lead Rito spoke in a voice pregnant with foreboding. "Don't make us do this, princess."
Baron Von JoBo stepped closer to her. "My love," he said in a quiet voice. "I shall stay. My life for yours. You must flee."
Tetra stared at him, shocked. "You...what? You...mean...that...?"
She heard the sigh of steel slicing air. Tetra turned back toward their opponents. Her heart sped up. She tightened her grip around the pistol's grip.
Then, suddenly, a faint voice cut through the air.
"GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Slowly, they all turned toward the giant machine's eyeholes. The Rito, baffled, lowered their weapons. Tetra swallowed and peered through the glass.
A dot was fast approaching, growing larger and larger as it drew close. Tetra's eyes widened as she recognised what it was.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding m-"
"Down!" cried the Baron.
They hit the floor just as a thump struck the glass. Tetra looked up.
A flattened Link stared back at her, his face squished up against the glass.
"What?!" the lead Rito squeaked. "What's going on? I'm so confused!"
Tetra replied in a low, level voice. "Welcome to Link-insanity."
The eyeglass shivered once, twice, then fell inward, Link in tow, and shattered as it met the floor, spraying sapphire shards in every direction.
Link rolled through the momentum, then sprung to his feet, glass slivers tumbling from his familiar green tunic. His boomerang was already in his hand. Seizing the distraction, Tetra swung up from the floor, pistol at the ready, and fired. The lead Rito ducked as the bullet zinged past him and hit the copper wall. Steam shot out instantly from the fresh hole.
"This is sacred space," the Rito leader screeched. "What is this violation?!"
"You got that right," said Link, his voice dark as glass crunched under the heels of his boots. "I'm here to violate you."
The Rito gaped. "...What...?"
Link threw his boomerang. It hit the Baron - who yelped rather girlishly before collapsing - careened off one of the copper walls in a spray of sparks, then zig-zagged through the air, hitting one Rito, then the next, and then deflected off another wall before taking down the Rito leader, all in lightning quick succession.
Tetra's eyes bulged as the spinning projectile then headed straight back toward her face. She ducked, yelling. Eyes scrunched up, Tetra heard the thwack of wood hitting flesh.
She dared to crack open an eyelid. Link stood, boomerang nestled in his palm, face grave. "Justice sandwich," he said. "Served."
Tetra slowly drew herself up to her full height and exhaled. She brushed glass off of her shirt. "Link."
He nodded once in reply. "Captain."
"Sooo..."
"Lovely night, hey?" He glanced back through the open eyehole, then froze. "Whoa. We are high. Is there even enough oxygen here? I think we should be told."
Tetra sighed. "Should I even ask how you managed to propel yourself up here?"
"You should," Link replied as he turned back. "Because thereby hangs quite the epic tale."
"Later," she said. "Where's Senza?"
"He's waiting by the catapult that we made just now from fish bones, seaweed and a pair of -generously donated, I should add - old lady's undergarments."
Tetra blinked. She blinked again. She opened her mouth to ask, then thought better of it. Her jaw snapped shut.
No, Tetra decided. I have to.
"Link," she said in a soft voice. "You're talking about the imp-"
"Ah!" Link said, holding up a finger.
"Bu-"
"No!" he retorted. His finger waggled. "Don't say it."
"Imp-"
"That word doesn't exist in the Team Tetra dictionary."
Tetra had had enough. "Some things are impossible, Link!" she cried, throwing up her arms in disgust. "Like, for example, it's impossible to survive being thrown through the air on a catapult made with dead fish and a granny's undergarments!"
"It is with that attitude." Link began looking around, nodding in approval. "So this is the inside of the Grand-S," he said. "C'est magnifique."
"Say what?"
"Magnifique."
Tetra decided, for the sake of her own sanity, not to follow up. Instead, she turned. "I want to question the-" Her words died as she surveyed the scene. "They've gone. The Rito have gone!"
Link looked down at his weapon. "They're immune to the boomerang," he said. "What a conveniently fiendish plot point."
Tetra shook her head quickly. "Never mind that now," she said. "Help me with the Baron. We're heading back to Harkinian. I need to see that treasure chest."
