Chapter Twelve:
Goodbyes
Since the night Soujiro injured his leg, Naoto found himself increasingly suspicious of the boy and how he had been involved in Sakuragi's abrupt departure. For that reason, Naoto began taking Haru to school. So, while Yuri was inside gathering the clothes for laundry, and Megumi was behind the house talking with Kamiya, Sou was watching the clinic. As there were no patients, the young sat mixing medicine packets according to Megumi's instructions. At least, he had been, until he realized that he'd forgotten a measurement. After a glance out of the front window to make sure no one was coming, Soujiro walked (careful not to limp) out of the back door to find his teacher.
He glimpsed the bright ribbon from Kamiya's hair around the corner of the back of the house, and followed it. When he was near, though, he received the impression that something was wrong. Megumi was standing up tall as she always did, and Kaoru stood with her head slightly lowered and hands held together below her obi. Curious, he quickly pressed his back to the side wall and listened. Kamiya-san was speaking.
"You don't have to say yes, of course, but it would mean a lot to me if you could come to Tokyo when it's time. I'd feel so much better if you were there."
"What difference would it make if I'm there or not?" Soujiro had never heard his teacher use such a precise, cold tone before. She continued, "You're not the first woman to have a baby. If the thought frightens you, perhaps you should have considered that beforehand."
Soujiro cringed, expecting to hear an angry response to what sounded like a rather rude comment. But the other woman's reply was still soft.
"I'm ... I'm not frightened. I just thought, since you're such a good doctor, and a woman ... and I thought you might like to see the baby anyway."
Sou listened intently for Megumi's voice. But after a pause, Kaoru spoke again.
"I'm sorry if I spoke out of place, Megumi-san."
"I'll talk to my family and see if I can travel in seven months' time," was the prompt reply.
Soujiro heard footsteps in the grass walking toward the other side of the house, while Kaoru quietly said "Thank you."
Sou hurried around the front of the house to follow his teacher without being seen. He could tell by the way she walked with her head down, appearing as calm as anything, that she was upset. He trailed her to the other side of the house, by the woods - the place he used to go to cry when he'd first started living at the Takani house. She raised the back of her hand to her forehead.
"Megumi-sensei?"
She looked up, but looked more angry than surprised. Then, she looked away without answering. Soujiro cautiously stepped closer.
"You love Himura-san too, huh?"
Megumi's eyes flashed at him, this time with far more surprise than anger. "Soujiro," she snapped, "how dare you?"
"I'm not trying to be rude, sensei." The boy's tone was, for once, sincere. "I was just saying. It was the same way with Kamatari and Yumi-san." He leaned against the wall of the house and looked down at the grass while he spoke. "They both loved Shishio-san, but he only loved Yumi in return."
Megumi exhaled shortly. "If you could call that love."
"Why not?" he looked up at her. "They took care of each other. Isn't that love?"
"He killed her, didn't he?"
Soujiro smiled in concession and looked down again. "That's what I've been told. But they were like that. Yumi-san may have seemed careless and self-concerned most of the time, but she wasn't really. Not always. When other people weren't looking, she really cared about Shishio-san a lot, and worried for him. It's weird," he smiled to himself, "I think she was the only one of his followers who realized that he was fallible. You'd think he wouldn't appreciate someone like that, but he chose to keep her near him all the same.
"Anyway, what I was saying; Kamatari was in love with Shishio-san too, but he didn't love him back. I usually felt a little sorry for Kamatari because he wouldn't leave the group no matter how sad he got. But he couldn't be Shishio-sama's favorite because he wasn't even one of the best of the Jupon Gatana, and because Shishio wanted Yumi instead."
"So do you feel sorry for me now?" Megumi said sharply. She was taken aback by the boy's perception, but she was annoyed at being so easily pointed out.
Soujiro blinked. "No, not really. I mean, I hadn't really thought about it."
Of course, Megumi did clearly see the parallel that Sou depicted. Kenshin had chosen Kaoru over her as a lover, and of course, he had Sanosuke as his closest friend and most reliable ally. "Kamatari was the scythe-wielder who fought Kaoru and Misao-chan?"
"Yes, that's him. I'm sure he took Shishio-san's death really hard."
Megumi tried to remember what Chou had reported "He became some kind of overseas agent, I think. He made a deal with the government."
"Oh, that's good. I was afraid he might just give up after Shishio-san died. I guess now it's possible for him to find his own way, too."
Megumi leaned against the wall too.
"I guess I am a little sorry for you," Soujiro reflected. "It must be hard to watch Himura-san be happy with Kaoru-san, and especially expecting a baby. But at least Himura-san isn't unkind about it. Shishio-san would make sure he kept Kamatari jealous. He said that Kamatari fought best with a goal in mind, so he always let Kamatari believe that he might win his favor."
"That's cruel."
"Yes, I suppose it was. I think Kamatari was never anyone's favorite. It's unfortunate that he fell in love with Shishio-san."
"Did you finish mixing the medicine already?"
"Oh, no. I came to find you; I couldn't remember how much walnut to put in."
"I'll come show you."
"That's not necessary, I can just -"
"I'd like an excuse not to go back inside for a few minutes, Soujiro. Besides, I don't think I was very thorough the first time. It has to be very evenly mixed; I'll watch you for a time to make sure you're doing it correctly."
- - -
"Himura-san?"
Kenshin looked over his shoulder to see the doctor's apprentice standing in the doorway of the empty living room.
"I hope I'm not disturbing you. Were you meditating?"
"You're not disturbing this one."
Soujiro walked in and sat across from his former rival.
"I've been thinking about what you said. I did decide to wander to come to my own truth. But, I really don't want to leave this place yet. I think I might, someday, but I want to finish learning what Megumi-sensei has to teach me. At least that way," he added as justification, "I'll have a trade when I move on."
Kenshin smiled again. "There is an opportunity to look for a piece of truth in every place you go, Soujiro. I hope you learn what you can while you're here." He set his hand on the ground, getting ready to stand.
"Himura-san," Soujiro stopped him. "I think I have learned something here already." Kenshin sat back again to listen. "This is the first place I've lived for a long time," he continued, "since I left Shishio and Yumi-san. The Takanis are very different from Shishio or my first family. I think Megumi-sensei is a lot like you in how she perceives world. She spends all of her time helping the weak, like you do. And I've been doing it too. With Shishio, I used to resent the weak. But ... I think some people can't help being weak, and so maybe other people should help them. I don't know why the strong should help the weak, but it seems like things work out better when that happens." Soujiro was surprised to see Kenshin looking serious again, but he understood when he spoke.
"This one is glad to hear you say that, Soujiro. Not because it's what this one believes, but because you've come to that idea on your own. Others can tell you what they think is right, but you cannot truly believe it until you learn it for yourself." Kenshin stood to leave, and Soujiro stood with him. "However, there is something that this one has learned that you may find helpful. Sometimes the truth that you find will not have as much effect on you as will the process that you went through to find it."
- - -
The rest of the week moved quickly, and soon the doctor's guests needed to return to Tokyo. The morning they left, Megumi told Kaoru that she would visit them two weeks before the baby was due, and stay as long as she was needed. Yuri gave Yahiko the food she'd made for their journey, but Kaoru quickly took the bundle into her own possession. Soujiro stood apart from the larger group, watching Megumi as she burdened Kenshin with about a year's worth of remedies for any possible illness or ache he could have come across.
Goodbyes were long, with both families waving until the strange group traveled out of sight. Afterwards, Naoto took the boys to school, Yuri went inside, and Soujiro followed his teacher to the clinic.
"What do you think about fate, Megumi-sensei?" Sou asked when they were inside.
"I don't. I try to ignore it as often as I can."
"Why?"
"Most of the time it's nothing but a convenient excuse."
"But don't you think that you and Himura-san and me all knowing each other is a work of fate?"
Megumi looked up from the ledger she'd been examining. "Meeting Kenshin was inevitable for you because of your skill, for me because of his compassion, and since you were roaming the countryside with a cold in your lungs, it was only a matter of time before we became acquainted. If it pleases you to call that fate, go ahead."
"Hm. You sound like Yumi-san. I asked her about it once, and she said nothing was predetermined, but that powerful men were the ones who made fate. She said she found Shishio because she was clever enough to steal a little bit of power from someone else and use it for herself."
"Well, then, what do you think about fate?"
He smiled. "I don't know yet. That's why I keep asking."
- - -
Later that night, Soujiro sat in the empty room, where only a week ago he and Himura had spoken.
"Sometimes the truth that you find will not have as much affect on you as will the process that you went through to find it."
He looked out the open, west window. The stars looked like small shards of glass on a black sheet, as they had on the night he'd made that first, painful choice.
'I found Shishio's truth because to survive I had to be the strongest. But Himura-san found his by using his strength to protect the weak. No matter what I try to think of, I know the way I found Shishio's truth was wrong.'
He stood up, stretched, and walked over to the window. 'Shishio-san said that my family was evil. All the time I was with him, I thought that 'evil' and 'strong' went together. But Himura's strong. And I know that, in a way, Megumi is quite strong too.'
Reaching out, he pulled the shutters closed. 'And since Himura is as strong as he is while restraining himself with his vow, he must be much stronger than Shishio-san ever was. That's the kind of challenge I want.'
Quietly, the doctor's apprentice left the room and headed for bed. No sense in staying up late, as he was on first shift in the clinic tomorrow.
The final chapter (which is really more of an epilouge), is next.
