"The Third Sorceress War, Act III: Terra Rossa"
11. M-Day
1
The courtyard was a canvas – untouched in and of itself, but full of debris, chunks of masonry, shards of thick, reinforced glass... They saw a few bodies also, broken over or under pieces of what used to be the wall, and each one muttered a silent prayer for it to have been quick for them. Under their breath, they counted the corpses to be among the lucky ones – they were already dead, and didn't have to launch headlong into whatever would come next.
With the exception of Brea, they all thought about Zell. By his hand or not, he was already in the Hall of Matryrs, resting, his name carved in stone. All they had done since, they felt, was to try and pick up the pieces.
Selphie's fingers interlocked with Squall's as they waited, and he squeezed, as if to reassure. Still listening to the sounds of mayhem, far and wee, they knew that they would have their time. Later. Always, always later.
The whooshing sound of hovercraft engines drawing closer lifted everyone's spirits, and before long, two hovercrafts appeared above the courtyard. They rotated around their center as they descended, trying to find a length of space balanced enough for them to land. Unable to do so, they instead resolved to open their hatches and go as low as they could. Seifer and Squall helped Quistis on board one, and Seifer joined her. Squall let Brea and Selphie get on the other one, and finally climbed up himself.
Squall settled in. Sitting across from him were Selphie and Brea, both trying to reel themselves in. He smiled.
"Hey!" he called to the pilot, "Take us home!"
The pilot nodded and the hovercraft rose into the air.
2
Squall slipped on the jacket of his uniform, feeling the epaulets carrying the General's rank insignia weigh heavy on his shoulders. He decided not to button it up, to give himself a little extra freedom of movement. He went to his desk and pulled the drawer open.
Ellone's comb was waiting for him on top of a pile of other things. From underneath the comb, Squall extracted his Griever necklace and put it on. Then, he reached in and his fingers slid along the edge of the comb.
"Sis..."
"Are you ready?"
Squall didn't look up. He knew that she was standing there, and he felt that she deserved more than he had shared.
Am I ready..? Maybe I am.
"I don't know where I was." He said, "But I was lost in my life. I thought Rinoa had sent me back in time, somehow. I was in the panic room, she put me under, and I woke up to colliding with you in the hall."
"Balamb Garden... when we first met."
"You didn't know me, you didn't know us... you seemed different somehow. But it shifted. I closed my eyes and opened them to Dollet, to the field exam. I thought that sticking to the script, repeating my actions would suffice. It didn't. The whole thing changed."
"How?"
"You. The soldiers guarding the comm-tower saw you when you came to give us our orders." He clenched his fist, "Shot you three times in the chest. You died in my arms."
Selphie didn't speak.
"And then I opened my eyes to the victory ball. You came over to ask me about the Garden Festival. Seifer walked in with a gun and started to shoot randomly. I tried to move you away, but upon seeing you, he turned and shot you. I couldn't do anything... When I opened my eyes again, I was in that train, waiting to see that Vinzer Deling's body double was a monster. He was, too, but he wasn't the same one and he..." he clenched his teeth, "...there isn't a word for what he did to you."
He turned to look at her standing there, looked at the miracle of her.
"And it went on and on and on, iteration after iteration. My life... taken apart, broken down into bits and pieces, into separate events. My successes turned into failures and every time I failed, you suffered. Again and again, you suffered, and you died, and each time, I got closer to saving you, but I never could. Our second fight with Edea, Seifer got lucky before Quistis got him... he... sliced you open. You died screaming, trying to hold your guts inside your body and I couldn't do anything, I just sat there, held you and you looked to me for help... Hyne..."
"It was just two weeks, how-"
"I was dreaming. Time moved differently. I wasn't in there for two weeks, Selphie, I was in there for months... maybe even a few years, I don't know... there was no way to tell."
"Squall..."
"I failed. I failed and you paid for it."
Squall felt her hand on his cheek. She gently turned his head, led him to face her.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I couldn't face you."
"It wasn't even real. I'm here, see?" she gently caressed his cheek, "I'm right here. I'm alive."
"I didn't only fail. I failed them. I failed you. When it didn't stop, when it never stopped, I... I killed you."
Selphie wasn't sure how she should take that.
"It was going to happen..." Squall said, trying to keep his voice from quivering, "There was no other way... at least that way you wouldn't suffer, at least they wouldn't get you... I didn't know what else to do, I just... I couldn't... I couldn't..."
"Shhh..."
Selphie pulled him in for a kiss and silenced him. She felt his lips become her center and sighed, content. She could feel him relaxing, his tension was leaving him. She wrapped her arms around him and held him tight.
When she withdrew, she kept her eyes in his.
"I'm still here, darling. I'm alive. So stop torturing yourself. You didn't fail me. Hell, I don't think you're quite capable of that. So, why don't you come with me, upstairs? They're waiting for you."
Squall took a deep breath, and for a moment, he was the same man she had known and loved. She couldn't help but smile.
"That wasn't so hard, was it?" she said.
"You don't know the half of it."
"So, General Leonhart... want to join the others? We have a war to fight."
Squall smiled.
"You lead," he said, "I'll follow."
3
When Squall walked onto the bridge, carrying his gunblade, every head turned his way. Their silence was deafening. They were looking at him to make his move.
"Quistis."
"Yeah?"
"You'll be in charge of the Garden."
"Okay."
"I would love to have you out in the field, you know that."
"I know."
"Seifer, Selphie, Xu, Brea – you'll lead the ground troops into Deling, clear the way for me. All I need is to reach the Mansion. She'll be there."
"How do you know that?" Seifer asked, "She could be anywhere..."
"No." Squall said, "Deling City is the prize she took from her father, so is the Mansion. That's where she'll make her stand. I kill her, and this whole thing is over."
"So..." Xu said, "What's our move, General?"
"Esthar will join us if they can." Nida said, "But I don't think we should count on that."
"I agree." Quistis said.
"Whatever." Squall said, "I want the field commanders to come down with me to the Guardian Force Repository. We'll need them."
"Which ones?" Selphie asked.
"All of them."
There was a brief, anxious moment of silence.
"Nida?" Squall said, breaking it.
"Yes, General?"
"Take us to Deling City."
