A/N: Warnings: Discussion/Memories of rape, non-consensual sex. Mature Content. Language. Overall, it's not a violent chapter.


Chapter 12 – Agate/ Law and Luffy


"Law?"

"Mmh?"

The younger pirate, twenty-one to Law's twenty-eight, spooned the older, arms around his chest as they lay in the bed and room Shanks had given them. The Sunny didn't actually have a Captain's Quarters, and Luffy and Law had sought their privacy in the aquarium, on the lawn, on the deck at night when everyone else was asleep, the kitchen, even, though Sanji had to make sure everything was locked down so that Luffy didn't eat it.

Luffy breathed into Law's neck. He reached up and played with one of his earrings for a while, and then ran his hands through Law's black locks. Law leaned into it. Luffy kissed his back, tracing the tattoo there, Kizaru's scars, as he liked to. Kizaru's scars weren't the first, and they weren't the first of the two-year departure either. Law turned around so he was facing Luffy, and brought him closer.

"What is it, Luffy?" He softly kissed his lips, his own hands now threading through the equally dark strands of the Strawhat captain's hair. "What did you want to know?"

Luffy hummed happily, and pulled away. He put his hand on the large heart tattoo on Law's chest. He never imagined he'd be with someone with so much ink. With this man he cared so deeply for.

"Did they ever use haki? Armament haki?" He said it casually, and continued to trace the design, but it was a huge question. Chopper had asked the same.

You're ruining the mood, Law remembered saying when he'd first met Luffy at Sabaody, when he'd shrunk after using one of his devil fruit tactics against the marines. That had been a fun day. That part of it, anyway.

"Who?" Law asked, but he knew. He rose up off the bed slightly, resting his head on his elbow, looking down at Luffy. Luffy's eyes took him in. The deep grey, the long lashes, the permanent bags under the eyes, the gentle heart on display for him. Law knew though. Luffy knew he knew. He went to say the names, and Law leant across instead and covered his mouth with his own before he could hear them spoken.

He kissed along Luffy's jaw, traced the shell of his ear with his tongue, and then down his lover's front, his fingers lightly touching the scar left from the operation he'd performed so long ago. Luffy's hands were in his hair and on his shoulders. Then he rolled over, onto his back. He sat up slightly, slouching against the headboard, and Luffy rolled onto him now, looking up into his face. Well? was the expression.

Looking a bit like a fish out of water, he twisted his fingers through Law's, felt where the nails were growing back, and squeezed them softly.

"They couldn't feel much if they fucked me while using haki," Law said, removing his hands from Luffy's and running them through the Strawhat's hair as the younger pirate rested on his hard stomach muscles, loving the fact that Law was breathing, and his own body was rising and falling with the breath. They'd survived. They'd both survived and they were together.

"I felt it, though."

Luffy inhaled, not Law.

"Vergo fucked me for two reasons, both when I was young and when they caught me this last time." He recited these facts without emotion. It was the only way he could deal with them.

Luffy felt Law's hands stop for a moment in his hair. Law hoped they never got their hands on Luffy now that they knew Luffy was with him, or did they? They probably wouldn't spare him the same ignominy. Or it could just be him, as Kizaru said. Even when he'd met Kid the tall redhead had somehow wanted to throw him down and go at it. He was promptly dissuaded.

Luffy could feel that faint tremor Law got when he talked about these events, despite his apparent calm. He thought that talking would ease the pain they caused, but he was never sure.

"One reason was for pleasure, his, the other, for punishment, mine. He'd use Haki if it was the last. And he hates me, so he used it often. I think it actually gave him more pleasure to hurt and humiliate me than the actual sex. But that must be the same for all of them, right? No matter what they used."

Luffy was rigid.

"All four?"

Law sighed.

"I think the admirals knew they'd kill me, so they only used haki to beat me, and you know what that feels like. Doflamingo is too selfish. I can't recall him using it, though sometimes his strings had haki when they pierced me. But Vergo . . ."

He recalled Vergo beating the shit out of Cora-san when Law had unwittingly brought him to their impromptu camp, where Cora had fed him his devil fruit. He'd been shot stealing it. Law had thought Vergo was a trusted marine, not Dofllamingo's righthand man, not a double-agent, as was Cora it turned out. The latter working to undermine Doflamingo and the former to support him.

Vergo beat Cora to within an inch of his life in that land piled up with snow. Then he'd beaten thirteen-year old Law, with full armament haki, because he'd yelled out to Vergo to stop beating Cora, instead of Vergo-san. He was a really small thirteen as well, almost dead from amber lead syndrome. Nothing like the tall man he grew into. Of course the beating was for more than that, but Vergo had not pulled any punches. He'd left Cora near death, and Law should have been hospitalised.

"Fucking Vergo," Luffy spat out.

"San," Law laughed softly.

San. Luffy recalled. "Do you ever call him that, Law?"

It took a while for Law to answer, and he guessed Law was remembering. Was it fair for Luffy to do this? Could they ever move on if he kept bringing Law back to those days, to the threat to his future?

"Not if I can help it," he murmured, wishing Luffy would just kiss him, that he could bravely say he stood defiant to Vergo every time, but he guessed these things needed to be talked about. He usually felt better afterwards, knowing that Luffy still loved him, still wanted him.

"But sometimes you couldn't help it?" Luffy looked up, one eye open.

"Sometimes I couldn't." Law ran his hand through his hair. "I didn't learn, Luffy, as Trebol, Vergo, any one, these cracked ribs, this flayed back, will tell you. If I could stand, and if I could stand it, he could go fuck himself. There was no way I was going to call that dog san. But all that usually happened was that I got fucked, and I got fucked like a dog. And when it's with armament haki, no fucking preparation – Jesus." The bitter look on Law's face, and the catch to his voice said it all.

"By that time, 'san' wasn't enough. He was Vergo-sama, Sir, Master, Brightest Star in the Evening Sky, Celestial of the Celestials, whatever the fuck he wanted me to call him, and for me to call myself, I did it. I'd offer to suck him off, though that thing was no joy in my mouth, just so there was some kind of lubrication. With haki it really didn't make that much difference. He'd say it was my calling."

He'd call Vergo, Vergo-san, with snot running down his face and bawling his eyes out, Law thought. Even recently. If he was conscious. How could Luffy look at him? Kiss him? Think where his mouth had been.

Law slid down into the bed, Luffy still on him, and tried to unravel himself so that he could turn away, bring the blankets over him, but Luffy wouldn't let him. They both rolled onto their sides, but with Luffy buried into Law's chest. Law gave up trying to extract himself.

"I don't know that anything would have been any easier if I'd used the preferred honorific. He would have just found another excuse." He recalled, again, being on all fours. Vergo with a crop, was it? Whipping his flank, and that fucking armament haki on his dick. Had he chained him around the neck? Yanking it up like he agreed to be in this BDSM mindfuck. And with Vergo, it was never just the sex. The guy couldn't stop himself, even though Doflamingo liked him without too many bruises. He'd beat him from one side of the cell or room or wherever he was, constantly kicking him in the gut, pulling his hair back, smashing his face into the ground. Whatever it took, and well beyond that.

By the end of it, Law would be a quivering mess, begging Vergo-Sama to please stop, that he understood he was deserving of the punishment, that he was such a fuck-up he'd invariably be punished again, and that he was more than thankful for the attention. For the guidance. For the discipline. Law's lip curled in pained remembrance, scorn. Much of it turned inwards. Unfairly.

"I never got the better of Vergo in an argument. At least not when I was fifteen years younger than him as a teenager, nor chained up and with seastone. I thought I'd got him at Punk Hazard, but I suspect it's not only that bamboo staff that's possessed. I don't know if I could face him now."

Luffy kissed Law so gently. "Can Bepo split mountains in two with his karate kicks? Because someone on your crew can," he murmured into his lips.

Law gave a soft laugh as Luffy's tongue slipped around Law's own, and then he withdrew and kissed his eyes, the curve of those beautiful cheek bones. Law felt wetness. He stopped Luffy for a second. Held his chin and studied his face. He brought his thumb forward and wiped the tears.

"You're crying? You could easily punch your way through a mountain. It's not that big a deal."

Luffy smiled, but looked down briefly before holding Law's gaze, his face now serious. "I couldn't help you, Law. You were gone, and I couldn't help you."

Law's own smile was soft. He brushed his finger across Luffy's nose. "I was a teenager for most of it. You didn't know me."

Luffy cried harder. "That's worse. No-one knew, right?"

Law closed his eyes again for a second. When he opened them, Luffy took comfort in the deep grey.

"Plenty of people knew. At least in the inner circle. I was a slave, remember? A rebellious, talented and apparently favoured slave. But I was owned."

"You're not helping."

"Aren't you meant to be cheering me up?"

Luffy's smile returned.

"It happened again, though, right? Recently. You're remembering recently."

Law pulled himself up again, untangling himself from the other captain, leaned back against the headboard once more, hand behind his head

"Oof. I'm remembering it all."

"I won't let anyone hurt you again," Luffy said furiously, sitting on him now.

Law gave an appreciative nod, but he knew all the protection in the world wasn't a guarantee against Doflamingo. Not to mention the two admirals.

"There's an old Buddhist tale, Luffy." Luffy lay against him, and again Law played with his hair. "A grandfather and a granddaughter have only one another. The grandfather urges his granddaughter to look after him, and he'll look after her. However, she refuses and urges them to individually look after their own selves, then they'll always be there for one another."

Luffy just looked at him, puzzled. Law had made it as prosaic as he could. He tried again.

"I appreciate your offer, Luffy, and I'll admit, it was bad luck, or maybe fate, poor planning, that led to my captivity last time, and I really don't know if I can face any of those men again, even as I feel my strength increase. They've fucked my psyche over and how. But look after yourself. It's the best way to take care of me. And vice versa."

Luffy knew Law was strong. It's what he loved about him. Self-reliant, and protective, loyal in his own way.

"If I see him . . ."

"If you see Doflamingo or Vergo, take them out. I'll breathe easily when they are. As for the admirals, I hope you've got enough self-preservation to not take them on yet." He placed his hand on the x-scar that really Akainu had left on Luffy's chest.

"You'll stay with Shanks?"

"If he'll have me."

"Of course." Luffy slid to the side and snuggled into Law.

"I'm a fugitive's fugitive now, Luffy. There's some protection for me under an emperor's wing. The marines don't know I'm here yet, and maybe they're too wary to mess with a yonko."

"You'll stay as a doctor. Not as a red-hair."

Law nodded. He couldn't be subordinate to anyone. He was grateful Shanks hadn't forced the issue. With the Whitebeards loosely affiliated with Shanks' crew now there was more than enough work for him and the doctors already resident in the crews.

"Your crew?"

"It's up to them. Shanks says he's happy for them to join his fleet, but I wouldn't really be their captain in that situation, so I'm not sure. I'm looking forward to seeing Bepo though."

"Me too." Luffy knew that both Chopper and Bepo could heal Law in ways that he couldn't. In fact, Luffy had seen Bepo more often over the last two years than Law had.

"I'll ask him about his mountain decimating skills when I do."

Luffy's face lit up. He figured that meant destroying the fuck out of something. But then he grew solemn, as he sometimes did. Maybe something he'd done too much of lately. "I wish you could come with us." His hair brushed against Law's chest.

Law nodded, his arm around Luffy. "I'm too much of a target, and," he paused, was quiet.

Luffy pulled back from Law and looked into his face. His eyes flared. "They didn't." Law was going to say they broke him. He'd said it before. The Hearts' Captain picked at the bedspread.

"It would be too soon if I never saw them again. If they captured me again," and both Luffy and he knew that was Law's greatest fear. He'd spent enough years of his life he most debased of captivities or enslavement. "I'd have to kill myself, Luffy. I couldn't do it again." No matter how much he loved Luffy or anyone else.

He was so quiet. He hadn't pinned his hope on anyone getting him out of it with the latest capture, though it would have been nice, he wouldn't have refused it, but like his previous escape, he knew it would probably be up to him to see an opportunity, and try to make the most of it.

But he also remembered all the failed attempts when he was younger, being dragged back kicking and screaming, bloodied and beaten, and only to be used as a punching bag and fucktoy all over again. There were so few opportunities. His freedom had been truly limited.

"The marines, Luffy," Law said, throat dry, images from the last time flashing through his mind. His tongue wet his lips for a second, and the ocean floor seeped through him, washed over him, became him. His windpipe stomach and chest area contracted. White noise diffused everything around him, within him. He didn't pull away from Luffy, but he didn't see him either, as he retracted into himself.

Luffy watched, confused at first, as Law brought his hands together in front of his face, the edges of his wrists pressing into his forehead as if they were bound. Restricting him but also protecting him from them all lined up before him while they pushed him to his knees. He couldn't see them with his hands obscuring his face like this. He had no power confined like that. Of course he'd had the chains wound around his arms and midriff at the time, he could feel that too, biting into his body like the snow on Minion Island.

Luffy knew about the assault. From the nightmares, from the fragments Law spoke of. From Robin. With a worried frown, he reached to the side table and picked up a smooth piece of agate. He knelt on the bed in front of Law, and tried to place its small orange form in his lover's upraised palm. They'd done this before. Law wasn't taking hold, but Luffy continued to press it against the softer skin of the heel of his hand, the tips of his own fingers keeping it in place.

"Hold that. You can feel it, right? Feel how smooth it is?" He wrapped his other hand around the curled hand he'd placed it in. Law wasn't restrained. He didn't have to hold his wrists up like that. He wanted him to come back to the present.

The stone dropped, gaining no traction or attention at all from the Heart pirate. Luffy caught it before it hit the sheets, and immediately placed and pushed it against the skin again, so Law had something tactile to anchor himself to, something tangible to hold. It dropped again, and once more. On the fourth try he felt Law respond and the long fingers curled lightly around the gem, pressing onto Luffy's own fingers.

It was slow, but Law didn't let go. Gradually, Luffy noted his fingers feel, wrap more tightly around the stone. Luffy extracted his own fingers. Law nodded slightly, his eyes, closed, the clenched hand holding the gem now lifted to his forehead, where he flattened the palm, and felt the agate against skin. Luffy imagined it cool to the touch, it never warmed up too much. Law's face still showed discomfort, his breath a little shallow, but he'd dropped the other hand to his lap. Good.

"You can feel that, Law? Nice and smooth in this room. In this room on Shanks' ship. In this room on Shanks' ship, here with me, Luffy. Safe." Luffy's voice was calm, steady, separate from his usual enthusiasm and reckless rush and tumble of words. He took Law's other hand, and put his face against Law's, his body close to him, as he sensed Law's tightness lessen. It was okay to do so now.

"I can feel your heart, Law. Can you feel mine?"

He placed his hand on the dark-haired man's chest. Law's heart was beating a mile a minute. He brought his lover's spare hand to his own chest. Law lowered the hand holding the gem.

"Match it. Match my heart. Breathe in. Match the breath." Luffy repeated as many times as he needed too, and Law seemed to be connecting, bit by bit, glimpses of light, snatches of song, seen and heard through the static that surrounded him, permeated him, before being sucked back in. However, with each tiny connection, each second of breath that joined Luffy's constant and patient cycle, his heartbeat slowed, regulated until he was inhaling and exhaling in tandem with the Strawhat captain. Little by little bit, the feel of concrete scraping against his cheek faded, the catcalls from Vergo and the other men.

He was here with Luffy, instead of in the fucking jail. On a firm bed on the open seas. He could hear the ocean, the call of the seagulls following the ship. Maybe he was still in danger, but in a lot less danger. Keeping the gem clasped in his hand, he sank to the bed, and wrapped his arms tightly around Luffy, bringing him down with him. His body shaking.

"Sorry," he whispered.

"Don't you mean, thank you?"

Law grinned. Weakly.

"That too."

"You do the same for me when I dream about Ace."

Law nodded. It was true. Luffy and he had devised the technique, were still working on it. Still, he wondered when he was going to be a big bad pirate again, and not a nervous wreck.

"Seems I'll be visiting Shanks a lot this year."


XXXX


Both men wondered how they'd do without the other. When Law first came to the ship, it seemed that Luffy had the greater emotional need, considering how upset and clingy he'd been when he was able to see Law again. The Heart pirate was obviously in the worse physical shape, and ultimately, psychological. Luffy had feared that he'd never see the other captain again, and no-one had known about the relationship, so he'd had no-one to turn to while Law was missing. He didn't know why he'd kept it a secret. Maybe because he didn't know absolutely for sure why Law had disappeared. If he didn't talk about it, he didn't have to face another loss.

The whole crew fretted at his absence, and they understood his worry about losing a friend and ally, but there were goals to pursue. They could only look for so long, though they always kept an ear out, and chased up leads, but it was Law's own crew who should have really been taking up the search. Which they did. Luffy couldn't explain the constant buzz of anxiety that lay just below the surface of his skin to his crew, so he filed it away in the drawer of things not to be looked at. The relief at seeing Law again then, was beyond words. He'd hardly been able to remain upright.

Law felt it too, but he was the more reserved of the two, and really, he'd barely been conscious, but he felt so much joy, tentative joy, that Luffy still felt something for him. That he would express it in front of his crew, even if that also put Law's own life in possible danger, was validating, especially after what he'd just escaped. He felt honoured that he could help the younger pirate, still, as battered as he had been.

It had worked out okay, even with the Zoro fuck-up, but they had to tread carefully. Law was only six weeks out of the most brutal incaceration. At first, or really, even up to now, he'd been jumpy and skittish as a cat when it came to intimacy. What had gone down at the marine facility, the jail, had been the final few straws. Kizaru's words. Other prisoners as powerful as you don't attract the kind of attention you do. You must seek it out. You must like it. You must deserve it.

Fuck, if not for Smoker's and Kureha's words to the contrary, those condemnations would echo in his head until all else was drowned out. Kizaru and Akainu had definitely taken them to heart when abusing him. He'd rolled over enough. What was it to roll over some more and completely give up? He'd been very close. If Smoker hadn't given him some hope, he would have. It wasn't like he hadn't fought to shape, keep, and maintain his own identity separate from their amoral definitions, it was that he'd fought and failed too damn often.

On the Thousand Sunny, when not enduring the shocking dreams after the flensing of his brand, he relaxed, loved, sought out, and was healed by Luffy's proximity. His hugs, his kisses, lying on the bed next to him. Being allowed to touch him and vice versa, but they hadn't really broached anything too sexual yet, unlike their first liaisons, more than two years ago now.

Chopper had admonished they go slow – Law was exhausted, and also knocked out a lot, recovering, post-op. And slow they went, but it was more than that. Luffy had traced kisses down his body one night and dipped below the line, when both men noticed Law's body grow rigid, and his breath shallow – not in a good way – as Luffy began to tongue his cock. The sensations caused Law to remember whoever had gone down on him over the last two years. It was usually the other way around, but humiliation has a thousand pathways. Doffy, Vergo, sometimes even that snotty, massive bastard Trebol, while pawing his fucking body. He'd guessed he was the reward for something Trebol had done to please Doflamingo.

He'd gripped the bedsheets, his body tense and he'd tried to articulate: stop, but he couldn't. His mouth wouldn't work. Trebol had almost drowned him. Luffy looked up to see his man crying in that silent way he had, having some kind of flashback, and the worse thing was that he was sitting there and just taking it as if he had to, as if he had no choice. He'd stopped immediately and comforted him.

They thought that maybe Law could initiate things, but that was even worse, as being mouthfucked had been as regular as brushing his teeth. He'd just grabbed hold of Luffy's thighs, bunching the loose material of his shorts in his hands, before passing out. That was a doozy of a panic attack. So they'd taken it easy, like a couple of high-schoolers, and as long as mouths and hands stayed away from dicks, Law was okay. It was a shame though, because he was fucking talented, but the reason why he was so talented was indeed shameful, though not on his part.

Would Luffy stay with him with lack of action? By about the fifth week, Law could take Luffy. He was never, or only for the sake of degrading him, allowed to be dominant while captured, and also when he was younger, so the triggers weren't there, or not as deeply implanted. While he was free, he'd been active, the triggers not as strong as they obviously were now, or he'd developed techniques to counter them. So he knew he could enjoy sex, and had done so with Luffy, but hell if anything was helping now.

Luffy didn't mind that Law and himself had to jerk themselves off at times. He knew it would ultimately change, but he was pleased he could give Law something, confidence, intimacy, something, while he took him in and loved being filled by him. When Law came with a shudder and collapsed on Luffy, if the younger man had not yet come, then Law had lost enough of the past to be able to pleasure him in the present. At that time only. Bit by bit they were getting there, but there were always going to be things that would incapacitate Law, at least at the moment, and Luffy cursed Doflamingo again for so destroying avenues of happiness for his partner. For himself too, really.

On this, one of the last few nights they had together, they were wrapped in the sheets after Law had lead them. They held each other so close, once again practically breathing the same breath, and Law, who'd been forced to share so many beds, knew he'd soon have to give up the only man he wanted to lie beside.


Thank you for those who have read, left comments, favourited and followed.
That's about the end of the first half of this fic. Not sure how to bring in the second. Stay tuned.