Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
AN: The quote from the previous chapter was one by the famous Bobby Singer of Supernatural. It's awesome that so many of you knew this! It just really fitted with the story here. Anyway, after a shorter chapter last time, here is a longer one again. I just hope I got Loki right and I hope you won't all raise an army to battle Odin after this... Though I would definitely join if you did.
Tides Change
Chapter 12
Bored. Bored, bored, bored. Bored. Loki kept repeating the word over and over in his head, but that somehow only made it worse. Laying in bed, not doing anything while he was in Stark's house, almost felt like brand new torture. Surely there had to be something around which could entertain Loki for at least five minutes.
With a heavy sigh, he pushed aside the silk sheets and got up. Small black dots began to jump up and down his vision, but Loki managed to keep his balance. He waited a few seconds and when his surroundings sharpened again, he walked towards the window. The sun was beginning to set, coloring the sky pink and orange, but not even this nice view could calm him. Loki felt tense, on the tips of his toes and he would be as long as he was in the same house as the Avengers. He didn't know what Thor had been thinking, but they were still enemies.
"Beautiful, huh?"
Loki had not heard him coming into the guest room, but he had enough self control to keep himself from jumping ten feet in the air. He didn't even bother to turn around, but instead kept his gaze firmly on the horizon.
"You should see the view in Asgard," he said blankly, keeping every thought and emotion under wraps. The last thing he wanted was Tony Stark to get a glimpse of his inner self. "It has mountains that disappear into the sky and the oceans have the most peculiar color."
"I'm sure you miss it," Tony said, slowly approaching the God of Mischief. Loki could watch him through the reflection of the window and he could see the hesitation in Tony's eyes. The man was clearly uncomfortable, but he managed to conceal it well. "Asgard, your home, do you miss it?"
"At times," Loki admitted. He saw no reason to lie about it to him. Besides, it's easier to hide a lie in a stack of truths. Tony was bound to ask questions Loki wanted to avoid. "But it can get very crowded and the people there are so shallow."
"Really?" Tony sounded honestly surprised. "The way Thor speaks of them, I imagined the Asgardians different."
"Of course Thor praises them," Loki almost spat out the words, but he forced himself to stay calm. He disliked the Asgardians. They didn't care for him so why would he care for them? Thor had always been their Prince, their savior so Loki would make damn sure they would need a hero to protect them. "They are his people and he will be King one day," Loki said, "I have no illusions about that."
"So why fight him?" Tony asked. He now stood beside Loki, but they were both looking out of the window. It almost made this a safer conversation. Almost. "If you know Thor will be King of Asgard and not you, why continuously fight your brother for the throne?"
Loki bit down. Hard. If that is what Thor has fed them as lies, then Loki had misjudged his brother since the beginning. He thought Thor was incapable of telling lies since he was such an idiot, but apparently, he had been spinning his own truths to the rest of the Avengers and Loki couldn't believe they had bought into that crap. "If that's what Thor told you, then it must be true," he simply said, not wishing to have an actual conversation with Tony about this.
"To be honest, Thor hasn't told us much about you. Judging by your reaction, my previous statement isn't true. You're not fighting him for the throne," Tony slowly nodded his head as if he understood the entire situation, "then why are you fighting him at all? More importantly, why are you fighting him here on earth?"
Loki glanced at Tony out of the corner of his eye, but Tony still had his gaze fixed on the horizon. His hands were behind his back, his fingers intertwined. There was a tension in his neck and his jawline was set, but other then that, Tony seemed rather at ease. Of course, Loki should have realized before. Without his magic, he was weak and if any time was right for the Avengers to get some answers out of him, it was now.
"Why would I answer you?" Loki asked, slight amusement in his voice. Now that he knew what Tony was trying to achieve, he could play this game as well.
"Maybe because I deserve to know?" Tony turned his head, made eye-contact for about two seconds and then turned to look ahead again. "This is my planet, my home and I truly don't want to see it get wrecked."
Loki chuckled. "Perhaps this planet will once be destroyed," he said, "but it will not be because of my actions. Sure, I like to regard this as as playground and I have done some terrible things, but there are others out there and they do want to destroy earth."
"So you're just playing along," Tony said, "because it's fun."
Loki wanted to roll his eyes in disbelief. If Tony truly thought that to be the reason, then he wasn't as smart as everyone gave him credit for. Midgardians always went for the easiest solution and answer. "Exactly."
There was a short silence, but Tony managed to break it first. "See, I don't believe you. Is anything you tell me the truth?"
So maybe Tony was a bit brighter than most Midgardians. "I'll tell you the truth," Loki said, turning on his heels so that he was facing Tony. The Iron Man did the same, his eyes narrowed. "I try to destroy this planet because in the end, it doesn't matter to me. There is nothing here that I care for, nothing that I would want to protect. Also, I am Thor's little brother so everything he loves I want to see destroyed just because I hate him."
"I can see the hate in your eyes," Tony said, "but I'm not sure it's directed at your brother."
Loki smiled darkly. "And since when do you have such a fine understanding of me? Oh, perhaps since you studied me from behind that mirror? I admit, you and your organization have some great torture techniques. I wonder who taught you that, or maybe cruelty is just an innate characteristic to humanity."
Tony's eyes widened why he pressed his lips together. "What will you do to us?" He asked, a mixture of curiosity and fear in his eyes. "When your magic returns, how will you punish SHIELD and humanity for the torture?"
Loki's dark smile turned into a deviant one, but he didn't answer. There were still plans to be made and of course Loki would take out his anger on earth, but he sure as hell wasn't going to spill his plans to Anthony Stark. What was he? A stupid villain from a Disney story?
"I get that you're angry," Tony continued when he noticed Loki wasn't planning to say anything, "with me, with the Avengers, with your brother and your father. I just wonder if you ever get tired of it?"
"What does Odin have to do with this?" Loki asked, frowning. Why had Tony gone from being angry for the torture to being angry with Odin? Why had that old man slipped into this conversation? Loki didn't like where this was going, but he wanted answers so he watched Tony's face like a hawk. Any lie or attempt at a lie and he would know. "Explain to me why you think I should be angry with Odin."
"What?" Tony was clearly taken off guard. "You're angry with everyone, aren't you?"
"Yes," Loki admitted since that was a universally known truth, "but the way you said it... You think I am angry with him for the torture." This had to do something with Thor's secret, Loki could sense that from a mile away, but he still didn't like where this was going. Sure, he wanted to know the truth, but that didn't mean it would somehow satisfy him.
Tony looked directly into Loki's eyes. "Well, he didn't interfere, did he? I know your father has this man under his command that apparently sees all. Surely your father knew about your situation, but he did nothing about it."
Loki took a moment to process Tony's words. They made sense, but then again...no. Loki remained staring at Tony until he figured out that the Iron Man was a better liar than he had ever given him credit for. Still, Loki wanted the truth and he would not rest before he got it. If Odin had something to do with the torture, then he deserved to know. Unfortunately, the mere idea of his father's – Odin's involvement somehow made him furious.
"Your arms," Tony suddenly said, pulling Loki away from his thoughts.
Loki lifted both his arms and found them blue with strange markings all over them. He had seen it happen before when he turned into his Jotun form, but never had his transformation happened like this. Curiously, however, as Loki gazed at his alien arms, he watched how his skin color changed again. He turned back into his Asgardian body.
"I'll leave you now," Tony said, already stepping back, "Thor will soon be back anyway."
"He has left?"
Tony seemed hesitant about his answer. "Yes," he said, "to Asgard, but like I said, he'll be back soon." With those words, Tony left the guest room and Loki found himself staring at his own reflection in the window. He could still see a faint shade of crimson in his own eyes, but it was fading quickly and eventually he was staring at his normal green eyes again.
Odin's glamor spell was still not working properly and anger and hatred had canceled it out momentarily. For a brief moment, he wondered what had been going through Tony's mind to see Loki's original blue skin and red eyes, but then Loki was brought back to thoughts of Odin. What if he was involved in the torture somehow? Loki had no idea what he would do if that turned out to be true.
Tony's words echoed through his head. 'I just wonder if you ever get tired of it?' Loki did grow tired from feeling angry all the time, from being hateful about everything, but he somehow couldn't stop himself. Being angry also made him feel safe. He had trusted people before, he had trusted his family, and they had all betrayed him.
Still, Loki did feel tired.
oOo
When Thor arrived in the Throne Room, he hadn't expected it to be so empty. Normally, upon his return to Asgard, his father would welcome him back alongside his mother, the warriors three and the Lady Sif. Occasionally, there would also be other guests, but not today. The great hall was empty, Thor's footsteps echoing loudly. Odin sat on the throne, Gungnir placed besides him and his blue eyes intently on his approaching son.
Not being in the mood for exchanging pleasantries, Thor cut straight to the chase. "Father," he said, "I come to hear you about Loki. I cannot believe that what I heard is true."
Odin's stoic appearance didn't change. He remained looking at his son with a calculated gaze in his eyes. "And what have you heard then?"
"What happened when Colonel Fury came? What did you say when he explained Loki's situation?" Thor already grew angry even though he had promised himself to stay calm. He wanted answers from his father and shouting would not aid his cause.
"I have listened to his case," Odin explained, "and I have weighed the options. Being King means that difficult choices have to be made and this was one of them. One day, you shall be faced with the same dilemma."
"I would never allow anyone to torture Loki or anyone else for that matter," Thor said with a raised voice. His father's words enraged him and he couldn't believe that Odin even had the courage to speak them. Loki was his son, but he allowed the humans to use them as a guinea pig? Either Odin had lost his mind or something else was going on. "You have taught me about decency and pride, as well as humility and love. Loki has done dreadful things, but torturing him isn't the solution here. What did you think would have happened?"
Odin inhaled deeply and Thor suddenly saw an old, tired man in stead of a strong, wise King. "Asgard has a peace treaty with Midgard, one that I have sworn to uphold. They are important allies to us, Thor, and I could not risk a war because of Loki."
"Nonsense," Thor spat, "Midgard wouldn't have started a war if you had demanded Loki's immediate return to Asgard. Humans are strong and intelligent, but they are no match for our armies, not yet anyway. So why did you give Colonel Fury permission to experiment on Loki?"
There was a short silence, one that felt heavy on Thor's chest. He had been disappointed by his father's actions and decisions before, but this one topped them all.
"It is complicated, my son," Odin sighed.
"Explain it to me," Thor demanded, "make it simple."
"I am King, Thor," Odin said, his voice stronger again. He clearly disliked the idea of his son challenging him like this. "I have people to lead, but I need them as much as they need me. There has been a restlessness amongst our people recently, because they live in fear of not knowing who shall take the throne once I have grown too old. If something were to happen to both of us, Loki still had a legitimate claim to the throne."
Thor frowned, shocked by what he was hearing. "Loki never wanted to throne," he said softly.
"But that will not stop him from trying to take it, if only because he wants to proof that he can," Odin said, "which is why the people needed protection from him."
"I don't understand," Thor was trying to wrap his mind around it, but he couldn't, "what have you done in order to keep Loki from claiming the throne?"
"The only thing I could do," Odin sighed, "I disowned him."
"What?" Thor couldn't believe what he was hearing. This wasn't something he had expected or even thought possible. Odin had always been a strict father, but only because he had to. Raising two sons, both princes, wasn't an easy task and Loki had never been an easy child, but to refuse acknowledgment of him was wrong. Not only did that unmake him Odin's son, it also unmade him Thor's brother.
"It is difficult to understand," Odin said, "but I had no other choice. Loki has made it clear which life he has chosen; one of mischief and chaos. The people of Asgard needed to know that he can never become their King."
"So you disowned him?" Thor, who had previously promised himself to remain calm, was now yelling. His grip on Mjolnir tightened, but he knew he would never throw it at Odin. For one, he was still his father. Two, he was still his King. "You are a wise King, but when it comes to Loki, you suddenly turn into an ignorant father."
"Thor!" Odin said forcefully. "I will not hear this. My decision has been made and you, as my son and as the heir to this throne, should support me."
"No," Thor simply said, "I will not support you in this matter. It is wrong and you do not even understand that. What is mother's say in this matter? Where is she?"
"Your mother," Odin sighed, "she shares your view, but she also understands that I will not change my mind."
"Then I'll go to her," Thor spun around on his heels and left the throne chamber. He didn't wait for Odin to say something else, he didn't even bid his father a proper goodbye. Thor did not care at the moment. He just wanted to see his mother and tell her that he would help. He wanted to embrace her and tell her that all would be well.
When he arrived at his mother's personal chambers, he didn't hesitate to knock. Only when he heard Frigga's voice calling him in did he enter. Her eyes brightened when she watched her son enter and a smile curved her lips upwards. Thor had missed her and seeing her again after all this time made him feel at least a little bit better. Frigga ran forward and flung her arms around her son's neck. Thor happily return the hug and buried his face into his mother's hair.
"Oh, I have missed you," Frigga sighed, finally letting Thor go after a minute of silence, "so much has happened and I do not even know where to begin!"
"I know, mother," Thor said sadly, looking into Frigga's kind eyes, "I have just spoken with father and I could not believe what he told me. Have you tried talking him out of it?"
"Of course," Frigga said. She turned around and walked towards a long table near the left corner of her sleeping chambers. A large bowl with fruit decorated the table, but Thor could tell his mother had not touched the food. When Frigga sat down, Thor followed her and went to sit next to her. "I have been so angry with your father. I haven't even seen him in days. I can be very stubborn, you know, almost like a child."
Thor chuckled, but then a new thought invaded his mind. If Frigga hadn't spoken with Odin in the last few days, then she was probably unaware of his conversation with Colonel Fury. He decided not to tell her, however. It was Odin's duty to do so, not his. "What can we do?" Thor asked. "I will not accept this decision. Loki is my brother and I will never abandon him."
Frigga smiled and placed a hand on Thor's hand. She squeezed it gently. "You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say that." She retracted her hand and turned her gaze down. "Loki is my son and I will never disown him, no matter what your father wants me to do. The people aren't liking it, but they do seem to understand. They may call me a bad queen, but they shall never be able to call me a bad mother."
"You are a good mother," Thor assured her, "one who was always there for us, even when we were being difficult."
"Indeed, you and Loki weren't easy children," Frigga laughed at the memories, "you were always out with the Lady Sif and the Warriors Three, fighting and playing. Everyone thought Loki was a gentle child – and he was – but where people saw calmness, I saw loneliness. Where they saw tranquility, I saw sadness."
Thor listened intently to his mother. He had never heard her speak of Loki like this before and Thor had to admit that he had never considered Loki to be lonely and sad when he was a child. Thor had always thought he was just happy to be alone with his books and magic.
"Your father never understood him," Frigga continued, "he was proud of him – that I do not doubt – but he couldn't comprehend him. It must have been incredible hard for Loki to have no one close to him, to have no one understand him. I tried, the Gods know I tried, but I failed."
"No," Thor argued, "you did your best and if there is one person in all the worlds that Loki still loves, it is you."
Slowly, Frigga shook her head. "When he grew older," he voice was barely a whisper, "he grew more intelligent. I thought things were getting better, that he was...happy and that he had friends. He hung out with you more and he was getting stronger and stronger using magic. Only, Loki was never happy, he just learned how to lie about it. He fooled me and I, as his mother, should have noticed."
Thor did know what Frigga was talking about now. Loki had only been a few winters old, perhaps 11, when he had become almost an expert in lying and deceiving. At the time, Thor had known his brother was a trickster, but he had found it amusing then. Unfortunately, it had all evolved in such a dreadful way and now Thor cursed himself for not having seen the signs. He, too, should have seen how sad Loki had been all his life.
"No one noticed," Thor said, "but we are trying to help him now and that should count for something. Loki is with my friends now, on Midgard, and I promise you that I will not give up on him." Thor leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his mother's cheek. "And you are a good mother."
"You never knew your grandmother," she said, faintly smiling again, "but she was a wise woman and she used to say that becoming a mother is easy. Being one, now that is the trick. I am proud of you, Thor, and I know you are a good brother and a good son. One day, you will be a good father."
"Thank you," Thor smiled.
