A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews! They really give me spirit to keep going and to update as soon as possible. Here is the next part, I hope you'll enjoy it!

HP

Harry sat down on the floor, still dressed in his Quidditch robes,staring at the showers. He was alone, the other boys had left ages ago and he had no clue how late it was and he didn't care. Maybe he had should just to cut it away. Maybe then he would feel better again and perhaps he could go to Quidditch after -party the that would surely be held in the common room. If he didn't go, he would be missed. He couldn't sit here forever. Live Life wasn't going to take a break for him, it was just going towould continue, if whether he wanted it to or not.

He summoned his bag with a simple Accio and pulled out a the knife he had taken from the Room of Requirement. Controlled pain is what I need, thought Harry. Physical pain. Controlled physical pain.He rolled up the sleeve of his left arm and put the cold blade against his upper arm. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and then he pushed the blade into his skin. Slowly and controlled. It hurt but the pain was nothing comparing to the pain he felt in his back and the emotional pain.
He pushed a bit harder and the blade sliced deeper. A small stream of blood appeared. Harry liked blood. It was a fascinating crimson liquid that kept him alive. He liked to shed his blood. It made him feel very much alive. The pain was a drug. It made him feel numb and made him forget how unfair and cruel the world was. How unattractive his future was.

A few times he had thought about shedding all his blood. To let the lifve flow out him himself. To be so selfish. But he never actually considered it seriously. He didn't want to leave his friends behind to face their doom at the hands of Voldemort and he didn't want to give Voldemort the satisfaction of an easy victory. He placed the blade a little higher and made another cut. A deeper one. A more painful one. For a few minutes he stared at the wounds as if it they was were a very rare phenomenon. Then he got up on and took a long, hot shower.

When Harry entered the common room he was greeted by loud music and cheering. The party had already started.

"There you are!" shouted Demelza as and she walked towards him. "Where were you?"

"I took a nice long shower and I went to the hospital wing," the last part was a lie.

"Come!" she grabbed the sleeve of his cloak and pulled him through the crowd towards the other side of the room where the other team members were standing.

The small tables that normally stood around throughout the whole common room, were now lined up against the wall and covered with different kinds of food and drinks. Katie smiled at him and started to hand big glasses to her team members. When Harry was handed a glass, he could clearly see with what they were filled: champagne.

"Where did you get that?" asked Harry at of Dean who was standing beside him.

Dean shrugged; "No idea but it doesn't really matter as long as McGonagall doesn't comes in."

"Gryffindors!" shouted Katie above the music. Everyone cheered and Katie lifted her glass high in the air. Harry and the other team members copied her. "Once again we have bested Slytherin and once again we will win the Cup!" More cheering. Katie looked at her team members, winked and took a large sip of her glass.

"Gryffindor," said Dean and took a sip himself. "This stuff is good!"

"Gryffindor," mumbled Harry in response and took a sip as well. He had never tasted champagne before but he liked it. It tasted very fruity and it made him feel warm inside. He took another, larger sip.

"Great stuff huh," said Demelza with a lazy smile on her face.

Harry nodded.

"Let's party!" yelled someone from the crowd.

Again the Gryffindors cheered loudly. A bunch of them stepped forward to get a drink. A small first year with short chestnut hair, reached eagerly for a glass champagne. He took the glass from the table and turned around, showing it to his friends with a wide smile on his face. As soon as he brought the class towards his mount to drink from it, the liquid changed colour. It became orange. The chestnut haired kid sighed.

"Brilliant," Harry commented to no one in particular.

"It is," answered Demelza. "It was Hermione's idea. She said it would be unreasonable to let the young kids drink alcohol."

Harry nodded and took another sip of the champagne. The common room was transformed into a dance floor. Harry didn't feel like dancing. The one time he had danced, at the Yule Ball, had been enough for the rest of his life.

"I'm going to dance," announced Demelza. "Are you coming?"

"No, but have fun."

Demelza nodded and disappeared into the crowd.

For a few minutes, Harry watched the party, considering what to do. He felt pretty stupid just standing at at the side on his own. Perhaps he should -

"Harry!"

Harry turned around and discovered that Hermione had disturbed his thoughts. She was holding a glass of soda.

"Harry, how are you?" she started, but before he could answer, she added: "That Bludger looked very painful and the fall-"

"I'm fine," lied Harry.

"Did you went go to the Hospital Wing?"

"Yes," said Harry; he was starting to get annoyed. Why did they act like he was unreasonable and needed someone to control him, to make sure he wasn't neglecting ? Wasn't he old enough to take care of things himself? "Pomfrey said that I could would be sore for a few days, but everything should be back to normal soon."

Hermione nodded but Harry could tell by the look on her face, she wasn't satisfied with the information. Nonetheless she changed the subject. "Seems you and Demelza are getting along."

"Yes," answered Harry. "She's very nice and a very good Chaser as well."

A smile appeared on Hermione's face. "And she's pretty to, don't you think?"

"She certainly isn't ugly." Suddenly Harry realized what Hermione mendmeant. "Ooh no, not that way."

Hermione chuckled. "Perhaps you should get a girlfriend."

"What?" Harry couldn't believe that his best friend just said that he needed a girlfriend. He took another, large gulp of his champagne, trying to proses process Hermione's statement. Now he started at his empty glass, wanting to turn around and grab another glass. As if the glass had heard his desire for more of the fruity beverage, it started to refill it self again.

"You shouldn't drink so much,", Hermione stated.

Harry groaned but decided to keep his mount mouth shut. Instead, he brought the glass to his mount mouth and drank. From the corner of his eye, he could see how Hermione shook shake her head.

"I think you should get a girlfriend," repeated Hermione. She ignored Harry's glare. "You know, it will get your mind off things."

"Off things," repeated Harry after a moment of silence. "What do you mean?"

"Well," began Hermione carefully. "You seem to be... distracted."

"Distracted?"

"Yes. I think you feel," she leaned closer to him and continued in a mere whisper so no one else would hear her, "guilty for what happened at the Ministry."

"Guilty," said Harry, trying to get convey as much surprised in with the word as he could. Hermione was right, but he didn't want her to know. Normally when someone mentions mentioned anything that had to do with the Ministry incident, he felt bad but now he felt fine. Almost normal. Perhaps the champagne had something to do with that. "No," assured Harry. "Why would I feel guilty? It happened and I can't turn back the time."

"Okay." Hermione wasn't convinced. "But don't you think a girlfriend would be nice? Someone to relay on?"

"Are you telling me that I cantcan't relay on you?"

"No I didn't mend mean it that way," said Hermione fast.

"I don't need a girlfriend, not now."

"Why not?"

He was tempted to say 'Because everyone I get close to, ends up dead' but instead he said: "Hermione, I still have my whole life ahead. Why should I rush it?"

Hermione just shrugged. "I'm going back to Ron."

"Fine." Harry didn't managed to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He was irritated with Hermione because she was interfering with his life. Trying to push him into something he didn't want. Maybe if he was honest with them, and not so distant, they would understand better. But he didn't want to be close to them. It was too dangerous and Ron was probably still mad at him for the stupid conversation they had had before Christmas.

Harry never left his place near the tables. More then than once someone has asked him to dance, but every time he polity refused. He was more then than content to just watch the party with a glass in his hand. His headache was getting worse as was the pain in his back, but he ignored it. A few times he had considered to going up to the dorm, but he didn't want anyone to come and ask if he was al right because it was still very early. When he turned around to grab something to eat from the table, he started to feel dizzy. The common room started spinning before his eyes. He reached out for the table to steady himself, but he had the feeling that he was falling, thought he was not sure. Someone called out his name, followed by more voices calling out to him. Then the world turned black.

RL

"The first years are doing great," said Lupin. He was sitting opposite of professor McGonagall in her office. Like they did every few weeks, they were discussing the progress of the Gryffindor students. Lupin enjoyed those talks with every every head of house except for Snape. He wanted to get right to the point and didn't want to chat about unimportant matters, such as life outside class. Minerva liked to chat about other things beside the student's education. She even liked to hear some gossip and there was a lot of that inside the school.

As the a head of house, Minerva liked to know how her students were doing so she invited all the teachers over every few weeks to discuss the attitude of the theher Gryffindors in class. She was pleased to hear that there were no major problems except for one student. "How is Mr. Potter doing?"

Lupin sighed and took a sip of his mead. "I know he can do better."

"Yes, everyone tells me that." Minerva sounded a bit annoyed.

"He has problems with a lot of spells and sometimes he doesn't even bother to maker write his essays or they are really bad." Lupin sighed again. "I don't think it will get better until we find out what's wrong."

"But he won't talk," explained Minerva "And you know how he is. He never asks for help."

Lupin nodded. For a moment he thought about telling her of the scars and what Severus thought that had caused them, but he had not desire to spread such dire news if he wasn't sure if it was true. and thatThe last thing that Harry needed, was even more gossip about him. The whole Ministry incident provide for enough ridiculous tales. Some students even claimed that Harry had fought off the Deatheaters on his own.

"How are the seconds doing?" asked Minerva suddenly.

"They are doing good well in my class, except miss Agnew."

"Filius said she isn't good at Charms and Transfiguration isn't a strong point either." told Minerva. "She is, however, very good at potions, much to Severus' displeasure. Imagine Aa Gryffindor who's better thenthan any of his second years snake." Her voice was filled with proudpride.

"Perhaps she is better in subjects than that don't require much use of a wand."

"Yes, I was -" Minerva was interrupted by a knock on her door. She pulled out her wand and with a simple incantation and a flick of her wand, the two glasses of mead transformed in to two glasses of pPumpkin juice. Lupin knew that she wasn't ashamed of drinking something stronger now and then, but that she didn't fancy getting letters of from parents complaining that teachers shouldn't drink, especially not in the presences of a student.

"Come in," said Minerva. "Ah mMiss Agnew, how can I help you?" she asked when the door had opened. A small second year with long, curling hair entered the office.

Lupin gave her a friendly smile. Even though she wasn't good in defence, Lupin liked her. She was always eager to learn and she always made turned in her essays on time. In some ways, she reminded him of Hermione. Not because she was as smart as Hermione, but because she took her studies as seriously.

"Something happened." stated missMiss Agnew.

"Where?" asked Lupin before Minerva could. "What happened?" He rose from his chair, fearing the worst. Had the Deatheaters penetrated Hogwarts? Did someone got get hit by a dangerous spell?

"In the common room, someone fell."

Lupin let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, but he was still worried.

"From the stairs?" Minerva got up.

"No."

"Is someone hurt?" asked Minerva while she went towards the door,. Lupin followed her.

"I don't know!" cried Miss Agnew desperate. "Someone said to get you, professor."

"It will be okay," said Lupin, trying to mask his worry with a very gentle tone. "Why don't you come with us?"

"Yes," agreed Mmiss Agnew and she followed Lupin out of the office towards the Gryffindor tower.

"Finally," said the Ffat Lady when they reached the tower. "I started to wonder when someone was going to notice."

"Notice what?"

"That there is a party going on in theirthere," the Fat Lady pointed behind herself. "And they smuggled Muggle alcohol inside." She snorted.

"Is that true, Mmiss Agnew?" Minerva gave the girlmiss Agnew a stern glare that was answered with a shrug.

"See for yourself." And without asking the password, the portrait opened, revealing a messy common room. At the far end of the room, students were gathered. Lupin assumed the accident had happened there.

"What's going on here?" asked Minerva.

Lupin scanned the conmen common room and quickly noticed that the Ffat Lady had been right. He could see glasses everywhere, some still filled with what was clearly champagne. He groaned and had a feeling that what ever had happened, had something to do with the champagne.

Hermione emerged from the group of students. "Harry just collapsed."

Minerva rushed forward surprisingly fast forward for a witch of her age. The students made room and now Lupin could see Harry lying on the floor. He was paler then a few hours ago and not far from him was a glass on the floor and around it, a puddle of what seemed to be champagne. Again, Lupin groaned.

"How much did he drink?" he asked, trying to sound stern.

"I don't know," confessed Hermione. "At least two glasses."

"Remus, can you bring him to the hospital wing, please?" When Lupin nodded, Minerva continued with a very cold voice: "I have to lecture and punish a the whole house." Not one of the Gryffindors made a sound. They clearly knew Minerva was furious.

Lupin scooped Harry up from the floor and was surprised at how little the sixteen year old boy weighted. Without looking back to Minerva or the Gryffindors, he left the common room but he had no intention of bringing the boy to the Hospital Wing. Harry needed more thenthan a nurse. He needed someone who would confront him with his mistakes. Someone needed to get him out of the pit he had fallen in. Someone who wasn't soft and easily persuaded and Lupin knew just who that someone was.

A/N: Please, review, it makes me really happy. And I'll try to update again soon!