Ehh, sorry for the wait! I do have a little bit of news, if you want to see how the story is coming along i.e whether I'm actually writing it or whatever, I've posted a link to my twitter on my profile if anyone's interested in stalking me for a bit (;

Yeah, eh, so I had planned for this to be a mega-long chapter but it didn't really happen…


Lips bloom in cherry-red
The jealous eyes, the rumours spread
They pull you down, no matter what
We all go down the same.

Room burns, cherry-red
The jealous eyes, the rumours spread
You're safe in here
You whisper soft, "if they could see us now".

Don't despair, you can't give up
They'll hunt us down, they'll catch us up
We can't stop now
We won't stop now.


Chapter 12

The right side of my bed is cold. Colder than it was when I fell asleep.

No Emily.

I sigh as I heave my eyes open, knowing I'll not get anymore sleep on my own. I turn onto my side, facing her now unoccupied spot. I feel as though I can still see the shape her body left of the mattress, I can certainly still smell her scent from the pillow. That's when it catches my attention.

A small scrap of paper, resting on the white pillow-case, half concealed beneath the blankets.

Emily slept here :-)

A smile creeps across my face as I trace my fingers across the neat pen-marks. Whoever said doctors had messy writing? Emily's script, like everything else about her, was adorably small and cute and tugged cruelly on my heart strings. I missed her already.

I know I drifted back off to sleep, her small note crushed firmly in my palm.


"Come on Naomi, you can do it."

Michelle's encouraging voice reverberates through my head as I scrunch my eyes up and ignore the pain shooting through my leg.

She's decided to take me off the crutches, seeing as I'll be discharged soon, and has settled on a rather ridiculous-looking boot thing that's strapped to my damaged leg.

Fuck me, it hurts like hell, but it's a relief to be able to walk again even if I am clinging to the stability railing for dear life.

"Well done," she beams when I 'walk' the short distance she's marked out on the floor. I breathe a heavy sigh of relief and a small smile creeps upon my flushed face.

"God that hurt," I laugh, regarding my leg and shifting the weight off it again. Michelle notices.

"Don't do that," she warns, "Or it will never get better. You can't be dependent on that one leg; you've got to start using the damaged one again."

"But it hurts," I moan, a bit like a child, but I really don't care.

"Keep using your crutches for the rest of your time here, but put weight on your foot," she emphasises, handing me the silver crutches once again and ushering me out of the room. "This is your last session with me, so do what I say and don't damage your leg again by not using it."

She sends me an almost sad smile, and I send her a grateful one in return.

"Thanks Michelle."

I push the button for the lift and clamber in, making sure to put pressure on the booted-up leg and wincing at the pain that courses through it. Jesus Christ.

The elevator doors open with a quiet 'ping', just like the movies, and my favourite redhead in the whole world steps in, just as I'm about the step out.

"Hey," she smiles and I quickly decide to remain in the lift.

"Hey," I reply, listening the doors close again as the lift soars upwards. She stands rather awkwardly beside me, the two of us staring at the shiny metal doors.

Me, Emily, alone, in a confined space…

My heart begins to race as I shuffle closer to her. Her head whips around to watch me, and I send her what I hope is a dazzling smile, because if it wasn't I look like a right idiot now, and place a light kiss on her cheek.

"I got your note," I whisper into her ear, relishing our closeness as I pull the crumpled piece of paper from my pocket.

Her cheeks flush with embarrassment but a wide grin spreads across her pretty face and she leans up to capture my lips.

I run my tongue across her bottom lip, her lips instantly parting to allow me access.

She backs me up against the wall of the elevator, my heavy boot thumping desperately against the floor.

Thump.

Ouch.

Thump.

Ouch.

Thump.

Ouch.

Any concept of pain is quickly forgotten as her hand creeps under my t-shirt and traces faint patterns on my abdomen, lightly tracing higher and higher until her fingers scoot across my breast and my breath hitches in my throat.

I feel her grinning against my lips, and I kiss her fiercely as I feel her palm cup me through the material of my bra. I let out a soft sigh against her lips as she moves her fingers across the material before squeezing gently.

Caught up in the moment, neither of us notice the lift has stopped until the doors roll open and the shocked appearance of my surgeon, Thomas was it, causes up to jump apart, faces blushing furiously.

"Oh, eh, this is my floor," Emily stammers, head bowed as she hurries out of the small elevator. I watch her go, open-mouthed at why she would possibly leave me here, alone, with him. The doors close just before she disappears around the corner and I'm left in possibly the most awkward silence ever.

I shuffle my feet nervously as Thomas clears his throat. I keep my eyes glued to the floor but I can tell he is sneaking glances at me every now and then as the lift ascends.

The doors open at the next floor and I begin to shuffle out.

"I, uh, better go. Should go see Effy…" I mutter as I limp out, slightly horrified because I'm not sure whether that was directed at him or if I'm talking to myself. Fuck, I hope he doesn't think I'm a total nutcase.

I assume he doesn't hear because he sends me a bright, warm smile.

"She is very pretty."

I pause, turning my head to look at him before the doors close again.

"I can tell you make each other happy."

And with that the doors shut behind him, before I can ask any questions, before he can come off with any more bizarre statements.

Feeling both confused and slightly frustrated, you know, down there, from my hot encounter with my Emily, my Emily? I continue down the corridor to Effy's room.

I knock, because I've seen bits and pieces of Freddie that I'd rather not ever see again, ever. I mean, last week I walked in on her giving him a blow job, not fun I'm telling you…

Effy opens the door after a moment, looking slightly dishevelled but at least she's fucking clothes this time, this time. Her eyes are wide for a moment before she sees me standing by the door and she instantly relaxes, undoubtedly fearing I was a nurse about to walk in on something nasty.

"Hey," I greet a little unsteadily, pushing past the brunette and entering the room. I incline my head towards Freddie, sitting on the bed and flattening his hair before I collapse into the comfy armchair placed by the bed with a heavy sigh.

"Trouble in paradise?" Effy questions with a smirk.

"No!" I exclaim, because that really isn't what's getting to me right now.

"No," I repeat a little firmer, matching Effy's constant, slightly amused gaze.

"No," I sigh as I break eye contact, because that girl will always beat me at a staring contest.

"N-yes," I mumble, fiddling with my fingers.

"Spit it out then," Freddie gushes, leaning towards me in anticipation from his spot on the bed and sending excited glances to Effy, undoubtedly wanted to finish whatever he started…

Effy sends him a hard stare until he sighs and hangs his head, leaning back to his original position with slumped shoulders.

"Speak," Effy states, taking a seat on the edge of her bed, directly opposite me, and leaning her elbows on her thighs so that we're eye-level.

I hesitate a moment longer, gauging the expressions in her eyes which she will never show on her face, nervously glancing over at Freddie who seems totally disinterested and rather miffed that I've stolen his girls attention, and shifting my gaze back to Effy who is watching me expectantly.

"It's just that…with Emily yeah…," I let out an aggravated sigh as I try to gather the words in my head to describe my frustration.

"I care about her right?"

Effy nods.

"And, if this gets out it will just…fuck everything up, from her career to her family and I can't…" I run a hand through my hair. "I can't be the cause of that, but I can't let her go either."

I raise my eyes from studying my fingernails as I spoke to meet Effy's raised eyebrows.

"That is fucked up…" she trails off, seemingly at a loss of what to say. Freddie, oh Freddie, flies to her aid with a rather blunt statement.

"You're shagging your nurse?"

I look at him blankly; my lack of response seeming all he needed to put two and two together.

"Ah right! Nice one," he exclaims, punching a fist in the air before throwing his head back and emitting a loud chuckle. I don't know whether to be amused or offended.

I'm still staring blankly at him when he recovers, joined by Effy, the corner of who's mouth are twitching upwards.

"So, like, are you gay then?" he asks, still chuckling quietly.

"Yes," I reply sharply, not really annoyed by his reaction but willing to play along to see what he does.

Shock crosses his features at my boldness, before a slightly embarrassed look crosses his face, replaced with an extremely awkward silence which I find highly amusing.

"Oh…oh. Cool," he clears his throat awkwardly to fill the brief silence. "Well done."

Effy bursts out laughing, unable to hold it in, in light of her boyfriend's plight of word vomit.

Freddie looks alarmed, eyes shifting between the two of us before I crack too and burst into giggles.

Freddie clears his throat again to gain our attention again.

"You were being serious…weren't you?"

"Well," I take a deep breath to compose myself, "I am 'shagging' my nurse," I explain, using air quotes on his crude choice of vocab.

"But I'm not…I just, I don't know what I am," I sigh, earning an approving look from Effy and a small smile from Freddie.

"But, you and the nurse like, it's hot," he grins, earning a clip across the ear from Effy and I smirk as he hollers out in pain.

I have to agree with him though, the nurse is hot.


Ah, paranoia; extreme and unreasonable suspicion of other people and their motives.

Now, I feel as though some people are staring at me, am I paranoid? Fuck, there it is again, a dark haired doctor walking straight past me, his eyes glued to me the whole time until his neck couldn't turn any further.

Definitely paranoid my friend, definitely paranoid.

I smooth my t-shirt, run a hand through my slightly dishevelled hair and make sure my track-bottoms haven't slipped too far down my arse, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious.

I slip into my room, ignoring the eyes of the receptionist on my ward's eyes burning into the back of my skull. Emily's in my room, engrossed in a magazine, sitting in her usual chair with her feet propped on the edge of my bed. Her eyes shoot up to me when the door clicks closed behind me.

Her expression turns slightly worried as she takes in my appearance.

"You ok Naoms?" she asks, tilting her head to the side as she regards me.

Oh that's really going to help my nerves.

"Fine," I state, a little too quickly and a little too loudly. She raises her eyebrows. "I'm fine," I repeat a little more calmly, "Just fine. Everything's fine, I'm great, I'm ok, why wouldn't I be ok?"

Oh, that's why.

"Your just…your all pale and really jumpy. Come and sit down," she pats the bed in front of her, abruptly removing her feet and I shuffle over and collapse into the pillows.

"Naomi, what's going on?" she asks hesitantly, concern evident in her eyes.

"Nothing," I reply, trying to sound normal and hold onto her gaze. I relent as her sparkling, chocolate brown eyes seem to bore right into me, as if they're looking into my very soul.

"Naomi," she warns, not falling for my pathetic attempt at lying.

I sigh heavily and lower my eyes to my hands, fingers fidgeting nervously in my lap.

"It's just…" I pause to glance around the room, both out of nervousness and trying to think of a way to unscramble the tangle of nerves in my stomach. "I just feel like everyone's watching me." As if on cue, another doctor ambles past my room, looking up from his charts and notes to glance through the window as he passes.

"See!" I exclaim, motioning to his retreating form as he turns his attention back to his work, "See that! I mean, am I just paranoid or something, or did that actually happen?"

I turn back to look at Emily, who is wearing a confused frown, and I'm quite relieved that it's not just me and I'm not spending too much time on Effy's ward. I still feel frustrated though and I release a heavy sigh as I lean back into the pillows, growing concerned when the frown never leaves Emily's face.

"Ems, you alright?" I ask, leaning a hand gently on top of her own.

She shakes her head slightly, before turning back to me and plastering a fake smile across her face.

"Yeah, fine."

"Emily," I warn, almost amused that our roles have been reversed within a matter of minutes.

"Just something someone said to me earlier."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I don't even know if I heard them properly though," she trails off, her brow furrowing adorably as she concentrates. I lean in suddenly and peck her lips; I guess I just can't be helped. She beams, intertwining our fingers as we fall into easy conversation, all worries and thoughts momentarily forgotten.

Momentarily, because as soon as Emily leaves to return to her duties I feel instantly paranoid again. It seems she is like a little bubble, protecting me from the horrors of reality and when she's gone I'm forced to face the annoying staring doctors and annoying staring nurses and annoying staring receptionists. It's as if the buggers are following me like the black fucking plague.

I shift uncomfortable in my bed again as a nurse enters my room again, trying to disguise her staring by fiddling with my charts while the other annoying doctor who has accompanied her merely stands at the bottom of my bed with his eyes glued to me.

"Sorry," I speak, the irritation getting the better of me. "Can I help you with something?"

I keep my eyes glued to him as he jerks back to reality, his face twisting in confusion as he thinks of a reply while the nurse sends him an alarmed look.

He clears his voice after a moment and silently shakes his head, and the pair leave but I can hear the nurse hissing furiously at him as they go.

Fuck me.

I sigh heavily as I relax into my pillows once again. Well, when I relax it's more of a 'sit awkwardly because you're far too tense to do anything else'.

"Jesus," I breathe, running a hand through my hair as yet another doctor passes my room, glancing through the window a few times until he is out of sight.

"Rough day?" her husky voice sounds, and I jump when I notice her standing in the door way, obviously too focused on staring doctors to see her approach.

"You have no idea," I groan, allowing my eyes to take in her appearance. She looks tired, but I know she's been working long hours again, her hair is slightly tossled and falling loosely from the hair-tie holding it back and her t-shirt is un-tucked from her trousers and hanging below the end of her scrubs.

She laughs loudly, regarding me with a raised eyebrow and folding her arms across her chest as she leans against the doorframe.

"Oh, trust me, I think I might."

I grin at her, she grins back. Life is good.

Her eyes wander from mine to somewhere down the corridor and her smile fades instantly. It takes a mere moment for me to figure out why as Katie appears in the doorway, her scowl switching between the two of us with her arms folded tightly across her chest. She regards our previously cheery faces, her evil glare lingering on me for an extra minute, before she turns on her heel and walks away without a word.

I release a breath I didn't realise I was holding.

"What the fuck?"

Emily's face mirrors my own confusion as her wide eyes remain glued to her twins retreating form.

"What the fuck was that about?" I ask, hoping to pull her from her thoughts.

"Fuck knows," she mumbles back, still seeming distant.

"Ems," I say quietly, "Ems, if you want to go to her you can," I send her a soft smile while the inside of my head is shouting 'Forget the bitch, stay here forever!'

I promptly tell it to shut up.

I watch an appreciative smile form on her face before she shoots out of the room after her twin.


Emily hasn't come back.

Granted she's only been gone about fifteen minutes but I'm far too shifty right now to relax without her, and my tension isn't exactly making time fly.

I puff out a sigh and reach for my crutches, deciding a walk will perhaps tire me out enough to allow me to relax when I return and actually fall asleep. I've only just realised how tired I am.

I limp out into the hallway, the lights far too bright in contrast to the dim evening light of my room, and squint either direction before decide to head in the opposite direction Katie and Emily disappeared off to, not wanting to disturb whatever is going on between them and possibly making things worse.

I hear a mumbled conversation, quickly turning into hushed, frantic whispers as I turn the corner to find two doctors conversing with a slightly alarmed looking Cook, in his cleaning overalls and holding a mop, who sounds pretty furious as he argues back.

I catch a few mumbles sentences as they float down the hall towards me.

"…Look, we know you know her, we've seen you talking so just spill it," one of the doctors whispers excitedly, gesturing at Cook with his hands.

"It isn't my business," Cook replies, seeming annoyed and continues wiping the floor with the mop before stopping and turning his attention back to the doctors. "And it isn't yours either, so fucking act like professionals and not nosey fuckers yeah?"

"You want to watch that mouth on you, boy," the taller of the two white-coat clad men warn in a threatening tone. Cook seems unfazed, eyeing the guy with a glint in his eye and standing up to his full height.

Things are getting heated between the pair, even I can feel it from the end of the corridor so I try to silently amble past them and let whatever happens happen in peace without my involvement. But alas, crutches were never made to clunk against hospital floors quietly and I immediately alert them to my presence.

The smaller doctor's face breaks into a grin as he spots me, a smiley, evil grin that I want to punch right off his face. "Ah," he drawls, "The dyke herself."

I'm shocked and freeze in place as I approach. What the fuck did he just call me?

"What the fuck did you just call her," Cook bellows, outraged. He grabs the guys upper arm and spins him so that the pair are face-to-face before he head-butts him square in the chest. The doctor drops to the floor with an anguished yell and immediately Cook is at my side, hurrying me away from the pair and adding to my confusion.

"Cook, what the fuck?" I ask desperately once he's trailed me down to the hospital entrance and we're both stood in the chilly night air leaning against the bricks.

He regards me silently for a minute.

"I'm going to take it from the fact you look healthier than the last time I spoke you to, happier too, that you went for it with the little redhead?"

I'm startled by his statement at first before absently nodding.

"Yeah, Emily."

"Nice one blondie," he winks, his serious mood forgotten for a moment.

"Cook what's this all about?"

He deflates a little.

"Ok, I don't know any of this for definite, but a lot of talk is going around the staff about you and red…and an on-call room?" He states uncertainly, listing each off with his fingers as he calls them out.

"Oh fuck," I groan, banging my head back against the wall in frustration.

"Well done Naomikins," Cook wiggles his eyebrows at me. "Shagging in an on-call room, if I'd have known you was up for it I'd have taken you up the day I met you."

"Oh go fuck yourself," I laugh, punching him playfully in the arm. "Tosser," I add after a moment.

I leans his head back and laughs loudly, a bubble sort of cackle and seems to form in the back of his throat, before another serious mood envelops us.

"Anyway news is spreading about you two so…" He shrugs and pushes himself from the wall, standing in front of me awkwardly for a moment before rifling through his pockets and producing a packet of fags. He offers me one which I decline before lighting up his own and taking a deep drag.

And I know that I'm not supposed to smoke, and I know that watching him smoke is making my aching longing for one increase tenfold so I excuse myself, complaining about the cold as I limp back into the warmth of the building.

A million, zillion thoughts are rushing through my head right now and as I notice a few of the nurses staring at me from behind the reception desk that it hits me, square in the chest like a well aimed shot from a rifle; They know.

And I'm speeding down the hall, ignoring the searing pain in my foot as I dart between people lining the hallways and into an empty elevator, desperately punching in the number of my floor and helplessly waiting for the lift to crawl up.

As soon as the doors are open I'm off like a shot, down the corridor and straight to my room in time to see a hassled-looking Emily heading for the same destination. We meet at the door and I haul her inside before anyone sees us.

"You know, some doctor said the weirdest thing to me just there…" she mumbles distractedly but I cut her off.

"Emily they know about us."

.

.


Eep, bit of a cliff-hanger there? I was going to continue it right up until Naomi leaves but decided to cut it short for your sake (: Yes, I love you that much!

Keep the reviews coming, you know I love them. And they help me keep writing so please and thank-you!

Next chapter will be posted…as soon as I find the time. School and other activities are keeping my day pretty active and busy with very little time for sleep let alone writing…

The song quote at the beginning of this is "Can't stop now" by One Night Only. I thought the lyrics were very fitting and I practically listened to it every time I was writing this.