I thank you all for the reviews and follows, they really encourage me, so thank you ;)
I've been debating how fast to move the story, but to be honest, it's already done in my head. I just need to decide if I want to give them a quick HEA or make them suffer, what do you think? Please review, it is VERY much appreciated.
You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English
Cuz' diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away
Sideways ~ Citizen Cope
Ada's breakfast was getting cold, she didn't care. Her eyes stung from too many tears, she didn't care. Her face was pale and drawn from no sleep, she didn't care. All she cared about was figuring out a way to remove herself from the hell she was currently in. Across the table sat Tony chatting amicably with Lexie, oblivious to her crumbling world. She'd worked so hard to build herself back up and in just one night everything had come crashing down, like the building blocks she had so enjoyed with Adam.
Last night's conversation with Ben had left her reeling. Was it possible Tony had felt so little for her? Hadn't he said those words to describe her, making promises to her, making her feel like she was it, the one and only. Well, apparently not.
She couldn't believe that in four short weeks, all her progress of four years went down the drain. She had fooled herself into thinking she was past it, that she had conquered, survived, moved on. However, her aching heart, stomach and head told her otherwise. She needed to get away and quick, her resolve was evaporating by the second and she didn't want to break down in front of everyone, especially not him.
She got up taking her untouched plate with her and said she was going for a short walk before they left. She took her plate to the kitchen, dumped the food in the trash and placed the rinsed plate in the dishwasher. While exiting the kitchen she bumped into Ella, who with a low voice asked her if she was well. Ada couldn't reply more than a simple -Yes, thank you- and tried to smile at her gracious host. Ella just nodded and let her through, obviously not convinced. Ada made her way to the path that led to the beach, not bothering to look at anyone. Two hazel eyes followed her every move until she disappeared from view.
As she walked onto the beach, she took off her sandals and allowed the coolness of the sand to infiltrate her skin and soothe her. She felt like she was going up in flames, her heart melting like a candle that's been left on for too long. She had tried to reach a compromise with with her heart last night, trying to talk sense to it, but it just would't listen. Her brain was no help either, because for every rational thought she had, it would bombard her with poignant memories of that day. The day he said those words to her.
xxx
His hair felt so soft and thick between her fingers. She loved the way it would curl at the ends, reminding her of black silk. His eyes were closed, but she knew he wasn't asleep, his smile and occasional sigh betraying him. They had decided not to return to work after his unexpected proposal and instead headed to the Japanese Gardens. Tony had stopped by her favorite bakery and picked up dessert, as well as a bottle of champagne. Ada insisted they would not be allowed to drink it in the gardens, but he brushed her off saying he had it all under control. They had found a secluded part in the Natural Garden and had been there for almost two hours. Her with her back against an Aspen that with its still dense leaves, provided just the right amount of privacy; he with his head on her lap, her free hand in his, resting by his heart.
They had already enjoyed dessert and were now sipping on the champagne in the cups Tony had "borrowed" from the garden cafe. The past hour had been spent on talking about everything and anything. Where they would live, when would the wedding take place, who they'd invite, what she would wear, what he would wear, where to honeymoon. It was magical! Ada had never given much thought to this, she was practical, thinking she would worry about it when and if the time came. Tony on the other hand had it all planned out. He wanted a semi big wedding, because he knew his mother would have no less. He wanted her in off-white, because it complimented her pearl skin better than white. He wanted to marry in three months, because he wouldn't be able to endure a longer wait.
Ada laughed at his exuberance. How a guy could be this exited about a wedding she didn't understand, but secretly she was extatic that he was. Ada began to think about her father and aunt. How they would react to the news worried her, but she felt she had made the right decision. She would try to diffuse their arguments one by one. They were young but in love, they could make it work, they would make it work. She was lost in thought when she felt Tony's hand caressing her cheek. She looked down at him, his eyes were open and he was smiling up at her. They would make it work!
"Penny for your thoughts" he said with a lazy smile and hooded eyes.
"A penny? Is that all my thoughts are worth to you?" She replied teasingly, leaning into his touch.
Tony chuckled, and taking her hand, cradled in his, brought it to his lips and kissed it soundly. "No my love, never, your thoughts are priceless to me. But for the sake of indulgence, let's say, a million for one thought?" He smiled at her, keeping her hand close to his lips, kissing each knuckle as he gazed up at her.
Her resolve was mush around this man, she would not be able to refuse him anything. "Well...I guess I can do one million." He chuckled and his dimples showed. She looked away then, not wanting him to see her anxiety. "I was thinking of my family's reaction to our news, specifically my father and aunt." She said the words as fast as she could, still not meeting his eyes, fearing the discomfort the conversation would bring.
Tony sat up from her lap, not releasing her hand, and faced her. Gently, he cupped her face with his free hand and turned her to face him. Her eyes were watery and he knew she was scared. He had met her father and aunt once, and that's all he needed to know them. Her father was an arrogant, self absorbed, pompous jerk, and her aunt had behaved like he had the plague. But he didn't care how they treated him, it was the way they treated Ada that made him want to punch her dad and slap her aunt. He'd been raised to never hit a woman, but her aunt tested his resolve. So he understood Ada's apprehension at sharing their news with them.
Tony leaned in, slowly, allowing the late summer breeze to carry her scent up to him, not breaking their visual connection. When he was a whisper away, he kissed her, softly, letting his lips mould to hers, becoming one, and still not breaking the visual contact. Kissing with eyes wide open, kissing her worries away. After a few seconds, he closed his eyes, getting lost in her. After a while they pulled apart, both needing to breath. He leaned his forehead on hers and took a deep breath, one hand still cupping her face and the other holding her hand to his heart.
"Ada, I need you to hear what I'm going to say" their eyes were once more connected, his voice was low and heavy. "I love you. I'm completely, absolutely, desperately in love with you. There is no one, no other woman, who had ever made me or could make me feel or think this way. You are the love of my life. You are everything to me and no matter what anyone may say, I will marry you, and take care of you and spend the rest of my life doing everything in my power to make you happy." He swallowed the lump in his throat, his feelings overwhelming him, taking his breath, his sanity. She was it for him, no question about it.
Ada was speechless. She could barely breath. Their faces were a breath away. Her eyes were glued to his. Without hesitation, she lifted her face and kissed him. Her arms went around his neck, his arms encompassed her. They were fused together, one body, one mind, one heart. The wedding would be a technicality. In their hearts, they were already one.
XXX
How could it have gone so wrong?! She thought burying her face in her hands. They were everything to each other. He had said those words to her, "the love of my life" he said. He promised to love her, and take care of her, marry her. But instead, he had walked away, abandoned her, and apparently, found himself a new true love.
Ben had changed the subject after he confirmed what Tony had said to him but she had been unable to follow any topic. She wanted to ask straight out if Tony had been talking about Lexie, but it would be pointless, not to mention painful. Of course he had meant Lexie, there was no way he was referring to her. That was done, as he had made that clear with his behavior last night and this morning, completely devoted to Lexie.
Ada sat on the same rocks she had found the day before. She needed to calm herself and try to get some semblance of past composure. She would build herself up again and climb out of the abyss she fell into. She had to, there was nothing left to do. The past was gone, there was no hope.
She climbed down from her perch and made her way back to the house. Today was going to be a long day. They were to visit the aquarium, then shopping on the pier, dinner at a live music pub and late night bonfire, all wrapped up in a tight little package of awkwardness and angst. Ada would rather spend the day with Ella and the kids. Yes, safe kids game were what she could take today; awkward, tense, painful adult games were overrated.
She continued her trek down the beach, head down, shoulders slumped. She was so lost in her world she didn't notice Tony walking towards her; not till she almost ran into him.
Tony saw Ada walking back towards the house so he stopped and waited for her to reach him. He noticed how quiet she'd been since last night, how she went to bed before everyone else, how she didn't even touch her breakfast. He noticed every little thing. When she came down for breakfast he immediately focused on her red rimmed eyes and drawn face. He worried about what caused the change, she had seemed in great spirits during dinner. During their walk on the beach, he noticed her talking to Ben and wondered if his over zealous friend had said something to upset her.
So he had volunteered to come and get her, again. This would give him a chance to ask her what was wrong; he only hoped she would trust him enough to tell him.
When she almost ran into him, he put his hand out and grabbed her by the elbow to steady her. She looked up and their eyes locked. She looked tired and sad. Before he realized what was happening his hand was reaching up to her face and his fingers were caressing her cheek. Her face was unreadable and suddenly, her eyes widened and she took a step back.
"Wh..what are you doing?" she asked. He could hear an edge in her voice.
His hand fell away from her and he ran it through his hair. What was he doing?
"Uh...sorry. You just looked...sad. Why are you sad Ada? What's wrong? Did someone say someting to upset you?" His vow to stay away from her swept away by her vulnerability.
She looked away, towards the sea, took a deep breath and replied "Nothing's wrong. Everything is as it should be. I'm fine, but thank you for asking. Are we leaving now?"
He knew she was lying. She wouldn't look at him. "Ada, c'mon, why won't you tell me? You might feel better." He was determined to find out what was wrong. He needed to.
Ada stood there, face towards the sea, taking deep breaths. She needed to get away from him.
"Ada, please, look at me" His voice was low, a whisper in the wind.
Ada turned and faced him straight on.
"What's wrong? Please let me help." He was begging, anything to get that look off of her.
Ada saw the sincerity in his eyes, the worried creases on his forehead, but her angry heart took over. "Why do you care? You didn't care four years ago, why should you care now. Just leave me alone Tony. Go back to the current love of your life and leave me be. I don't need you to take care of me." She spat out the words with as much force as she could muster in her small frame and walked briskly around him towards the path.
Tony stood there, paralyzed by her words, "love of my life"? What was she talking about? Why would she say that? Was she that cruel to throw his words in his face? Suddenly, realization hit. He had only related that sentiment to two other people. Ella was too wise, Ben on the other hand...
He ran up the path, now empty, and went looking for his friend. Ben had definitely said too much this time!
Thank you for reading, now pretty please review? :)
