Disclaimer : Card Captor Sakura belongs to CLAMP. I don't own CCS.

Recap: In the attempt to 'reincarnate' his Kaho, Hiiragizawa Eriol wished to erase Daidouji Tomoyo's memories. But apparently the spell didn't work as it was supposed to, and the two dark-haired were bound to live together –even when they disliked each other. But after saving her from falling off the cliff, they started to find mutual understanding and perhaps something more…

Mnemosyne's Labyrinth

Chapter 12

: : A Life : :

He was avoiding her, she could tell.

And not that she complained, because really, she, herself, was practically having pretty much the same idea of avoiding him as well.

Another week had passed since the slight incident that had happened inside Mizuki Kaho room.

She should have got it over with.

Besides… it was just… a kiss.

Well, technically, it wasn't even a kiss. It was only the closest attempt to it.

And then what? They were 25, sharing man-woman kisses shouldn't be a problem to be fret about… This was not a teenage flick where she should be nervous about a guy's proximity or whatsoever…

But apparently, the two dark-haired thought the incident a little bit deeper than required.

And why would that happen? Because he was Hiiragizawa Eriol and she was Daidouji Tomoyo?

Tomoyo sighed for the umpteenth time.

Exactly. She was Daidouji Tomoyo and he was Hiiragizawa Eriol.

And thus, she shouldn't feel this way. She shouldn't feel this… confused, happy, bubbly, sad, afraid, curious, and desperate all at the same time. No, those were what a girl in helpless love should feel, but not her.

Definitely not her.

Well, at least, it shouldn't be her.

"Eriol-sama is not in the library, Daidouji-san, if you're wondering,"

Tomoyo blinked and realized that she had, again, prevented herself entering a room just because she was afraid that a certain magician was inside.

"Ah, yes, Spinel. T-thank you for the information," she said as finally braving herself to enter the library.

"Sakura,"

Her steps halted and she turned slowly around to question the flying feline. "Pardon?"

"… Spring has come. Sakura's blossoming very well this year," commented Spinel.

Tomoyo followed his gaze, to the window, where faintly, yet softly she could see pink petals were blown by the wind. She knew that there was a cherry-blossom tree planted on the garden of the Hiiragizawa manor, but she hadn't originally thought that it would bloom… this beautifully.

"Sakura…" she repeated absentmindedly. "… What date is it today, Spinel?"

"April the 1st,"

A date that she would remember everywhere and everytime in this world. "Ah. Sakura-chan's birthday…" and suddenly forgetting her previous will to enjoy the morning reading a book, Tomoyo walked out of the library and headed to the front door.

"… You're going out, Daidouji-san?" questioned Spinel.

"Ah, yes. Just for a while. Good day, Spinel," she announced as closing the front door before the Sun Guardian could ask where the Daidouji heiress was heading to.

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He closed the front door and entered his own dark manor. Having spring already in town, Eriol could see such contrast it was between the happy world out there and the gloomy one he had in store there in his mansion. He used to love the certain level of bitterness –the darkness that engulfed the whole mansion, but now that he thought about it, it was perhaps only his angst side after all.

Putting his thin coat on the couch, Eriol darted his eyes unconsciously upstairs –to a certain room where –

"She went out,"

Spinel, apparently, had proven himself to be the epitome of suspense itself due to his almost continuous sudden appearance. "Who went out, Spinel?"

"Daidouji-san,"

He almost halted himself in movement, but masking it, he only replied casually, "Oh really? Where to?"

"She didn't say anything about it,"

"Hn," Eriol nodded and almost absentmindedly turned around and headed back to the front door.

"I personally think that Daidouji-san's gone to a place that has connection with The Card Mistress. It was after all, The Card Mistress' birthday today,"

Eriol chuckled lightly and stopped just before he walked out of the door. "And what makes you think that I'm going to search for Daidouji-san anyway?"

"You're just too easy to predict nowadays,"

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The place was still the same as last year, and the year before, and even more years backward. The same beautiful cherry blossom still bloom their little pink petals, faint wind brought up the soft-scented sakuras. Laughter came from every different direction, for people would use that certain day to rejoice the appearance of sakura flowers and enjoyed it with their little festivity. Hanami had always been Tomoeda's folk favorite activity of the year, and it had been her favorite too.

Too bad she couldn't do the hanami again this year.

Walking fast passed the open place where many people celebrated with their own group, Tomoyo headed quickly to the little shrine that was built near.

As she took more steps farther, the laughter ceased and it most way, she was thankful.

It still hurt her to witness all those laughter –for she knew that she would never laugh together with Sakura and her mother, like what they always did every year on this certain day.

Tomoyo was stepping on the first step heading to the shrine when she noticed the presence of someone behind her. Turning around in a poised manner, she saw that there were 3 drunken-looking men. Their shirts were rolled into their elbow, their working ties were tied up around their head, and they talked gibberish.

She had a bad feeling about this.

"Girlie, where are you heading to? And why are you alone in such a festive day?"

"I'm heading to the shrine, and yes, I myself prefer to be alone. Excuse me," she curtly nodded and turned around but a strong hand had gripped at her pale arm, made her tripped the stair step and almost fell to one of the guy's chest –had it not been her quick reflex to steady herself.

"Girlie, you stepped at my feet," complained the other man. "And it hurts,"

Yanking her hand free from the first man, she spoke with her usual Daidouji grace. "Had your friends not pulled me so suddenly, I wouldn't have stepped at your feet, Sir,"

The second man laughed. "Fine, fine, dear woman. I forgive you, but why don't you just join us in our hanami celebration?"

"Or you'd like the other celebration? We can make it private if you want to," the third man, shortest of them all, added with a laugh.

"No, thank you," she said as stepping back and took another step up the shrine stairways.

"Come on!" shouted the first man as he grabbed Tomoyo's arm again. And before she could sprang free, the second man had already taken a strong grip on her other arm.

"Release me at once," she growled darkly. "And don't touch me,"

"Oow… little girl bites. Don't worry, girlie, I don't mind the masochist way,"

"No, let me go! Let me –"

"Touch that lady more than this, I'll hunt you down until your 7th reincarnation," murmured suddenly by a dark-voiced man.

The drunken trio unconsciously let go of Tomoyo's arm and turned around, where there, a slim and suave young man stood calmly.

Yet dangerously.

"Hiiragizawa-san…" she spoke in recognization. And for the first time since the week before, she was really grateful he was present.

"And who do you think you are, pretty boy?" the third man sneered.

"Someone whom you'll regret looking down at, Sir. Leave the woman and I may spare you,"

"Spare us? Spare us from what?" laughed one of the drunken who first spoke to Tomoyo. "And don't expect that your little heroic act would stop us from having fun with this bi**h and –"

"Take back your words. Daidouji-san is a respectable woman,"

The trio laughed.

Eriol's eyes darkened. "I said take it back…"

"Why should we? Soon, she'll just be our true bi**h and –"

The mockery stopped.

The usual warmth of spring somehow… diminished.

And even Tomoyo gulped. She didn't have any magical abilities, but she could feel how the atmosphere had drastically changed.

Bitter.

Dark.

Choking.

The three men then suddenly let out screams and they hurriedly left both Eriol and Tomoyo. And after the men were nowhere to be seen, she could feel herself breathe again. Looking around, she noticed that her surrounding had turned back to normal.

One suspect, primary.

"What did you do?" she questioned her current housemate.

Eriol shrugged. "I just… gave them the slightest glimpse of their own death. I guess I went a little bit too far, but at least they are gone now,"

Tomoyo inwardly shuddered. How could she forget? Hiiragizawa-san was still… Hiiragizawa-san after all. One who was the reincarnation of the great Clow Reed and –

"I'm sorry if I terrified you," he suddenly muttered.

Blinking, she then slowly replied, "Er… yes, that's alright. T-thank you, Hiiragizawa-kun,"

And then the guy softly smiled.

Inwardly, he didn't look as frightening as he used to be.

It was also then that she realized she had spent a week to avoid him, and thus, she somehow realized that she kind of…

Missed him.

"What are you doing here, Hiiragizawa-san?"

He ignored the question and asked her instead. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm… W-well, I just…"

Since Tomoyo seemed to be a bit stuttered in explaining the situation, he took a glimpse of his surrounding. When he tracked down Daidouji-san and saw that she was being disturbed by those silly-looking men, Eriol hadn't paid much attention of where the hell he could possibly be. Now that he had the chance, he could conclude that she was on the outskirt of Tomoeda, an area which was famous for its well-blossoming cherry blossom, its beautiful small shrine, and…

Its cemetery.

He remembered. He had visited this place twice some months ago. First, on the burial of Sonomi Daidouji and second, on the burial of Li Sakura.

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Death and Life

Between the Hell and Heaven

(oh, a sad, sad place…)

Death and Life

Between the Hell and Heaven

(oh, a pretty, pretty place…)

You belong to them both, dear one…

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She didn't ask him to go. She didn't even do the slightest gesture of unwillingness of his presence. She said nothing, did nothing. Perhaps it was her form of gratitude from saving her from those three brutes. But to his own amazement, he seemed to know Daidouji Tomoyo better then he had originally presumed. He knew when to leave the girl alone when she needed her sole time. At first he had been worried (paranoid actually). What if those (or other) guys attacked her again?

"I'll call for you," she had answered jokingly.

And perhaps seriously.

And that was all he needed to decide that he'd better wait for her finish her time visiting both her best friend and mother's graveyards.

He thought she would take longer time, but no. Less then 15 minutes since he let go of her in front of the gate of the cemetery ground, she was already standing in front of him.

"You're done?" he asked, still quite perplexed.

"… Yes. I think I have,"

Eriol did not question her further, for she didn't even seem to fully realize his presence anyway. Tomoyo looked numb and dead, but she didn't look depressed or sad. She was just… so passive, almost like a doll.

Fearing that she might trip or lead herself into comical trouble just because she had decided to shun her normal senses of her surrounding, he carefully offered her his hand. She took it in absentminded and robotic manner.

But he would held it close, and keep it, and guard it…

"We'll just take the taxi," he decided. When he tracked down Tomoyo, he had thought it would be more successful just by using both his legs. But now, walking back to the Hiiragizawa manor suddenly felt like a very tiring duty, and he couldn't practically teleport them both with her mind being this… vain (He was afraid that since she couldn't concentrate, she would have only half of her body teleported). So, after stopping the taxi, Eriol carefully positioned her to sit on the back seats then he followed and sat next to her.

Rain poured down, splashed gently on the window glass of the taxi. Eriol watched as the rhythmic droplets splattered in an almost lullaby, dragging him to sleep, dragging him to forget, dragging him to –

"I'm sorry,"

He quickly shook the trance and turned at his left, where the voice had come from. "Pardon, Daidouji-san?"

"I'm sorry…" she muttered again.

He took a better look at her and realized that she had already fallen into her light slumber. Her eyes closed, her chest rose up and down in calm tempo, and her lips slowly slurred out almost incomprehensible words. Tomoyo's whisper was barely audible, Eriol had to lean closer to her to listen and understand all the words rolling out of her mouth with silent anxiety.

"I want to follow you –"

Come, Tomoyo-chan! Come!

" –I want to follow you too –"

Dear daughter, what's taking you too long?

"–Heaven must be a beautiful place…"

Where misery ends, where pain subsides…

" –And I want to go there…"

Eriol held his breath in an attempt to control his panic. God, he really wanted to slap the sleep-talking woman for speaking such… such…horrifying nonsense –

Nonsense?

His dark side arose. Wasn't this what he had wanted? He had not forgotten about his first intention. If Daidouji-san was really losing her will to live, then he could proceed into making her body the vessel for Kaho…

His beloved Kaho…

But…

But…

His head felt the instant throbbing. Knowing that he couldn't let himself think of such dilemmatic problem now, Eriol decided to continue his act of silence and wait more to hear Tomoyo's slurred monologue.

.

.

.

" –But forgive me…"

Me and my sin, me and my faults, me and mistakes, me and my life

" –…"

.

.

Eriol paused upon realizing the warm liquid that was falling from her closed eyes. He wanted to sweep them away, but at the same time…

He was afraid to touch her.

She could break, break, and break.

She could die.

He didn't want it.

.

.

But if she lives, do you want it too?

What about Kaho? What about Kaho? What about Kaho? What about Kaho? What about Kaho? What about Kaho? What about Kaho? What about Kaho? What about Kaho? What about Kaho?

.

.

Gritting his teeth, Eriol almost groaned in frustration. And he would probably soon do it, had it not be for the last statement that escaped from her mouth.

"I want to live…"

: : To Be Continued : :