Chapter 12

"I'm going to make this night something you'll never forget," said Stephen, talking as he rammed his tongue into my mouth.

"Slowly...one thing at a time. I want to savor this," I said, pushing his face away from mine. On the outside, I was ready for this but on the inside, I wanted to jump off the bed and into the master bathroom to vomit. It didn't matter if this man had been my husband at one time. Now that having sex with him was imminent, all I could think about was Matthew. I loved Matthew more than my own life. I had loved Matthew the entire time I had been married to Stephen. If I was lucky enough to get out of this, would he ever forgive me?

"When we were married, you were the one who was always in a hurry to get this over with," he said smugly.

"Things change. I thought you'd be pleased," I said. The smug look on his face made me want to slap him hard.

"I am..so far," he said. Another jab, albeit a left-handed one. His narcissistic attitude hadn't changed one bit. The only difference between then and now was that now, he had no problems with hitting me. I can only assume that hitting me was his way of feeling in control of what I did back then. When I told him I was filing for divorce, he had honestly seemed blindsided which I found hysterical, given all of his extra-marital affairs.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Let's just say that all of this has happened too easily, Madeleine. I'm just a little skeptical," he said.

"I don't know what you want from me, Stephen! I fight back and I get slapped around. I have an epiphany about our life together and the mistakes I made and you're skeptical? I can't win here," I said.

"Are you purposely trying to fuck this up, Madeleine?" he said in a stern voice.

"No! Are you?" I said, mocking him. He rubbed his eyes and looked down at me with a frustrated look on his face.

"No...look, I know this reunion didn't start under the perfect circumstances. I need to know if this is real," he said. "Reunion, my ass….this was kidnapping," said my inner voice.

"Have you ever known me to do anything that I didn't want to do?" I asked.

"No, but you did seem to change your loyalties fairly quickly," he said.

"Only because seeing you again...here...like this….away from the warehouse, made me realize what I walked away from," I said. This lying thing was getting easier by the minute.

"So...you want this to happen...us?" he asked.

"Yes, I do. I owe you at least that much," I lied again. "You owe this bastard nothing!" My inner voice was screaming at me now, not that I blamed her.

"Then stop talking, for Christ's sake and fuck me," he said crudely as he scooped me up in his arms and swallowed my mouth again. His mouth moved down my neck, nipping my skin as he went. His hands cupped and squeezed my breasts, flicking his thumbs roughly over my nipples until his mouth found them. He sucked each one while his hands wandered down to my panties. I did my best to fake a few soft moans as he explored my body. I closed my eyes and braced for what was coming. "God, get me out of this...please" I heard my inner voice say. Just then, Stephen's cell phone went off.

"Goddammit! I thought I shut that thing off!" Stephen bellowed as he got off of me and searched through his jacket pocket. I took the opportunity to get up and run into the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face and looked at myself in the mirror.

"You can do this, Maddy. You have to….for Matt," I said softly. Stephen was still on the phone when I came back into the bedroom. I picked up his dress shirt from the floor and put it on, hoping I would feel a little less naked.

"I'm sorry, Madeleine. I promise there won't be anymore interruptions," he said. I managed to fake a smile as he took me in his arms and guided me back towards the bed.

"Do you have a condom?" I asked, trying to stall him even more. I wanted out of this and I was starting to panic now.

"You mean to tell me that a modern professional woman in charge like you doesn't use birth control?" he mocked.

"Of course I do, but I wasn't exactly allowed to pack up any of my essentials before being taken on this little surprise trip," I said. "Take that, you bastard!" said my little inner voice. He muttered something under his breath, walked into the bathroom and came out with a foil package in his hand.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much," I said. He said nothing as he pushed me back down onto the bed and slipped his shirt off of my shoulders.

"Now, I think I was right about here," he said, as he started to kiss my neck again.

I forced myself to run my fingers through his hair as his head moved from from my neck to my mouth. I kept my eyes closed as he kissed me, wracking my brain for an idea that would stop him from going any further. My body belonged to me, not him and I felt more violated with every minute that passed. The only man that I wanted to give myself to was Matthew Casey, but he wasn't here. The thought of never seeing him again and being forced to have sex with Stephen was more than I could bear and I began to quietly weep.

"Don't cry, baby," I heard Stephen say. I opened my eyes to see him hovering over me.

"I'm sorry. I'm just nervous," I said.

"Don't be," he said. His head moved down to my breasts, sucking and licking my nipples. I held his head in my hands as he moved lower down on my body. His fingers hooked into the top of my panties and slowly pulled them down over my legs until they fell to the floor. He dropped down to his knees on the side of the bed and slowly spread my thighs apart. "Oh God...please...no." my inner voice was crying now too.

"Fuuuuuuck," he said softly, as he ran his finger up and down over me. I involuntarily jumped as he slid his finger inside me. "This is not happening. Do something, Maddy...before it's too late" my little voice screamed. I laid there silent, unable to do anything but cry. I prayed that I could somehow leave my body so I wouldn't feel him touching me this way. I felt the urge to vomit growing stronger as his tongue found my clitoris. I shifted slightly as his hands grabbed at my inner thighs and his head bobbed between my legs. I tried to think of Matthew, but Stephen's touch was far too rough to fool my subconscious into thinking it was anyone but him. I couldn't didn't want to respond to the feeling of his tongue on my most private place, but if I didn't he would notice. Without warning, he suddenly stood up and then took my hands to pull me up to a sitting position.

"What's wrong?" I asked, hoping to God that I hadn't given myself away.

"Nothing, baby...just this," he said, pushing his pants down past his hips and letting his erection spring free. The tears were still flowing down my face when he pushed the back of my head towards his penis and shoved it down my throat. He pulled and twisted my hair as he rammed himself into my mouth over and over. I gagged each time he thrust, but he paid no attention to me until he pulled me away from him by my hair and shoved me back down onto the bed. He laid on top of me, pinning my wrists above my head again.

"I'm gonna fuck every little memory of Matt Casey right out of your head, Madeleine," he said in a thick deep voice.

"The condom, Stephen...please," I begged.

"You let that firefighter come inside you. I know because I watched it happen on your dining room table. Fuck the condom," he hissed as his grip tightened on my wrists. "He's raping you, Maddy...do something, goddammit!" my little voice pleaded. The weight of his body kept me from wriggling out from under him. I tried to keep my legs together but he pushed down hard on them with his knees, keeping them apart.

"Stephen...don't...not like this...you're a better man than this," I pleaded.

"I am the best man for you, Madeleine...I always have been and I'm gonna make sure you never forget that after tonight," he said. He kissed me roughly, biting my bottom lip and I let out a short sharp cry which made him smirk at me.

"Let my hands go, Stephen...let me touch you," I said, expecting he would loosen his hold on me. I was more terrified of him now than I was in the warehouse. He was a stranger to me now. There was no trace of the man I had married eight years earlier. I frantically looked around for something...anything I could grab to stop him from hurting me even more. To my surprise, he let go of my wrists but only so he could spread my legs wide open. I laid there afraid to move until he did. He grabbed his erect penis and slowly stroked it, smirking at me while he did. He leaned in closer to me, rubbing the tip of his penis between my legs.

"You're mine, Madeleine, from now on," he growled just before shoving himself inside me. "God, this can't be happening…" He laid on top of me like a leaden weight, roughly thrusting into me. I could barely breathe and clutched at his shoulders, trying in vain to push him off of me. "Don't fight him Maddy...it'll be over soon," my inner voice said. He pushed himself up off of my chest slightly, keeping his forearms stiff at my sides and grinding his hips into me. I tore at the comforter underneath me, trying to drag myself from under him but he was too heavy and all I managed to do was pull the bedding up in a bunch until my fingers felt something. I turned my head to look and could see Stephen's gun holster and one of the heels that I'd taken off earlier.

'Oh fuck, baby...you feel so good," said Stephen as he continued to thrust himself between my legs.

"I told you….only Matthew calls me 'baby', you fucking pig!" I screamed as I jabbed the stiletto heel of my shoe into his eye as hard as I could. He uttered a dark groan as he covered his face with his hand. I could see blood seeping out through his fingers as he rolled off of me onto the bed, writhing in pain. I scrambled to my feet and raced around the end of the bed to grab the gun, but he caught me by the arm before I got to it. He spun me around, only to backhand me across the face, sending me sprawling to the floor. I started to crawl on my hands and knees towards the double doors, but he grabbed a handful of my hair, stopping me from moving any further.

"On your feet, bitch," he said as he pulled me up to a standing position by my hair. As I got to my feet, a loud noise came from the living room area of the penthouse. Stephen twisted my arm behind my back and dragged me with him to the bedroom door to listen. We could hear thumping and muffled voices as whomever it was seemed to be moving around the penthouse. Stephen moved away from the door and pulled me with him to one of the windows on either side of the bed. From where I was standing, I could see the flash of red lights reflecting off the buildings across the street from the hotel.

His anger at me was interrupted by a loud pounding on the bedroom door.

"Attention Stephen Gage! This is the Chicago Police Department! Come out with your hands up!" yelled a voice from the other side of the door.

"What did you do?" Stephen hissed through his teeth as he dragged me away from the window. He pulled his gun out of the holster from the end of the bed and put the barrel of it against the side of my head.

"Stephen, please...I didn't do anything! I don't know what all of this is….please!" I pleaded as the tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I am not giving you up, Madeleine! If I have to, I'll kill both of us," he said.

"Now Gage….or we're coming in!" screamed the voice in the hallway. Stephen did nothing except stand silently at the side of the bed with his back to the wall, the gun firmly pressed to my temple. The short blast of gunfire rang out and the double doors to the bedroom suite swung open violently. Stephen wrapped his arm around the front of the my throat, the other hand still holding the gun on me. Two police officers burst into the room with their guns pointed directly at us.

"Drop the weapon and let her go, Gage!" said the dark haired police officer.

"DO IT!" screamed the other one.

"You'll have to kill me first," said Stephen. My fingers dug at his form arm trying to loosen his grip around my throat. I could barely breathe and felt like I was going to pass out, until I hear another voice call out.

"Maddy….baby, I'm here!" said the familiar tone of Matthew's voice as he appeared in the doorway behind four other armed police officers. I thought for a minute that I might be hallucinating. I had pictured his beautiful face hundreds of times in the last few days and I couldn't be sure if it was real now. The reality that I had known a few days ago was dead and in its place was kidnapping and rape with the possibility of murder inching closer and closer.

"Casey! Get back, for Christ's sake!" shouted the police officer with the red hair.

"Matthew!" I screamed his name as if he had never heard me say it before, tears streaming down my face.

"I won't let you have her, Lieutenant. You hear me? I'll blow her fucking brains out first. You or any of these policemen take one step closer and the last thing she'll see before she dies is my face...not yours," said Stephen, twisting me around to face him. He kissed me hard as if he was trying to show Matthew that I no longer belonged to him.

"I'm sorry I have to do this, Madeleine...but I have no choice now," he said. His face was strangely serene as he placed the barrel of the gun at my left temple, especially since we were surrounded by police officers with their guns pointing at us from every direction. It was almost as if he had prepared for this.

The sound of gunfire pierced the air from somewhere behind me, making me jump unexpectedly. Stephen's head jerked back violently, then tipped forward again. His face was white except for a small red hole with black edges in the middle of his forehead. His head continued to tilt down, blood spilling out from the wound in his head down onto my right shoulder and breast, staining the dress shirt of his that I had put on. His legs began to buckle and he collapsed forward, taking me down to the floor as he fell on top of me. The back of my head hit the parquet floor hard. The warm blood continued to ooze from his head onto my chest as I screamed hysterically and struggled to get myself away from him. The room was black and red and white and spinning around like a hurricane. I felt Stephen's body slowly being lifted from mine and faint voices echoing around me. A hard pain was pounding in the back of my head and I felt sick. I could feel my eyelids begin to flicker.

I don't remember anything after that until I came to in the emergency room of a hospital surrounded by people whose faces I didn't recognize. The pain in my head was excruciating and everything I could see was surrounded in fog. I felt dizzy and nauseous and closed my eyes to stop the room from spinning.

"I feel sick," I croaked in a voice that was barely audible.

"Here, honey...use this," said a female voice as I felt an emesis basin being placed under my chin. I leaned forward and promptly vomited into it.

"Where is she wounded?" I heard a male voice ask.

"She has bruising around her ribs and left eye and we suspect she has a concussion," another voice said.

"But the blood," said the first voice.

"That's from the man who was holding her at gunpoint," said the second voice.

"Is he here, too?" the first voice asked.

"No...he was DOA...gunshot wound to the head. He bled out all over her," the second voice said.

"Is she awake yet? We need to question her," a third male voice asked.

"Will someone get him the hell out of here before I call security?" yelled the first voice.

"My head hurts," I said, feebly. I just wanted all of them to shut up.

"We're gonna take care of that, honey but we have to run some tests first," said the woman who had handed me the emesis basin.

"Can you take this thing off?" I asked, pulling on the cervical collar that was wrapped around my neck.

"Not yet, honey...not until we get x-rays," she said, putting her hand on my shoulder as if trying to comfort me. I felt a pinch in the crook of my left elbow as a nurse inserted a needle and took several vials of blood. Another nurse washed the blood off of my face and body and dressed me in hospital gown. Another started an IV in my left hand. A portable x-ray machine was being wheeled in next to the gurney I was lying on. Several nurses helped to turn and position me while the technician took several pictures of my spine, neck and head.

"OK, honey...but while we're waiting for the x-rays, I need to ask you a few personal questions. Have you been sexually assaulted?" she said, getting close to my face and whispering. Visions of Stephen's face came flooding back to me. I nodded my head and began to sob.

"I'm sorry, honey. I know this isn't easy. Did the man who attacj you ejaculate?" she asked as delicately as she could.

"No, I don't think so," I said, between sobs.

"OK, I'll be right back with a SAFE kit. It's not a pleasant experience, but I promise to hold your hand," she said, squeezing my hand.

"Please...I need to see Matthew," I said, still crying.

"Who's that, honey?" she asked.

"My fiance. I need him...please," I sobbed.

"I'll see if I can find him for you," she said and disappeared out of the room.

"Madeleine, I'm Dr. Morton...all your blood tests came back normal and your x-rays were negative for fracture. You do have a mild concussion and a couple of bruised ribs, so we're going to give you some medicine in your IV that will help with the pain," said a man, standing on the other side of the gurney.

"Then can I go home?" I asked.

"We're going to keep you here for a couple of days for observation, just to be safe. As soon as Julie comes back and completes the SAFE tests, we'll be sending you upstairs to a room. There are also two detectives here from the CPD that want to talk to you," he said. All I wanted to do was have Matthew take me home, hold me in his arms and never let me go. Now, all I could do was nod dejectedly. I lowered my head, still crying. The hustle and bustle of the room was mostly gone as the EMTs and all but one nurse had left.

"There's my girl," I heard a familiar voice say. I looked up to see Matthew walking through the doorway towards me. He was disheveled, had the beginning of a beard and looked like he hadn't slept in days. His eyes were rimmed red and his face was pale, but he was still a beautiful sight to my eyes.

He sat on the gurney with me and took one of my hands in his and kissed the palm of it, keeping it up to his mouth. I moved it up to his face and stroked the whiskers on his cheek, until he gently pulled me into his arms.

"I thought I'd lost you forever this time," he said as he buried his face into my neck and started to quietly cry. I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his body shake gently.

The tears I shed wouldn't let me speak, so I laid my head on his shoulder and wept. The feeling of his body near mine again was all the medicine I needed. I felt warm and safe and free from all the hurt I'd endured in the last four days.

I could see Julie standing in the doorway with a faint smile on her face as she peered over her glasses at us.

"Thank you," I mouthed the words to her. She stepped into the room and pulled the privacy curtain around us, letting Matthew and I have a few minutes together.