Chapter 12: So Close!
"Well, we don't have much, but this will do. Please, make yourselves comfortable." Fred had let us sleep in the living room for the night.
"I'm scared. What if Gazzy isn't better by tomorrow?" Angel asked. "Don't worry, he will be." I assured. "But what if he's not?" Angel had tears in her eyes. "I said he will be! Now go to bed!" I heard Angel crying, but I was too upset to care.
"Nice one, Max." Nudge said as she walked over to Angel to comfort her.
I felt guilty for snapping at Angel. She was just worried about Gazzy, all of us were. But I was worried about someone other than Gazzy: Fang.
Fang hadn't said a word since we left the hydroponics lab. He seemed deep in thought, yet wore a blank expression on his face. Whenever I tried to talk to him, he pushed me away and gave me the finger. After I left him alone, he was back in thought.
"Please, Fang say something." I begged. I gently touched him on the shoulder and he quickly jumped. "Fine, I'll say something: Get your slimy hands off of me and leave me alone! If you don't, well I'll do what I have to."
"Right, I'll just leave you alone. Back as you were…" I slowly walked away. What was wrong with Fang? I mean I knew, but he had never been this upset before.
"Oww!" I bumped into Nudge. I slowly rubbed my head. "That will leave a bruise."
"I'm worried about Fang." I said. "I'm worried about Angel. She's falling apart I think she's showing signs of early depression." I sighed. "This was a bad idea. Gazzy's sick, Angel's depressed, Fang's acting all weird, and this is all making me go insane!"
Nudge and I sat on a couch. "I really wish that Iggy was here." She said. "If he was here than we wouldn't be here." I responded a bit too harshly. "I know that, but still… I miss him. It hasn't even been a week since he died!"
I pulled out his book of poetry. "That journal of his always makes me feel so close to Iggy, yet so distant." Nudge said. "I mean, he writes so well. I can hear his voice. Like he's talking to me! But still, it makes me feel as I don't know him."
Nudge flipped to the third page of the book. "If you don't mind, I just want to read something to keep me going. Just one poem." I nodded and as she started reading, I couldn't resist but look over her shoulder.
What do They Know?
Sometimes life gives you lemons.
They say make lemonade.
When you have a frown what to do?
They say turn it upside-down.
They have an answer for all.
How to make your spirits rise after they fall.
How to fix this,
How to fix that.
However, however, do they know?
Do they know how to mend a broken heart?
Can they make disappointment disappear?
No. Because they don't know!
They don't understand.
They don't know.
This won't just go.
This won't just leave.
I'm the only one,
Only I understand myself.
No one will ever, completely understand me.
That's how it is that's how it will be.
"What are you doing?" It was Angel. Nudge quickly shut Iggy's poetry journal. "Nothing, we're not doing anything." Angel lifted her head. "What's that?"
"This? This is nothing." I said. "No it isn't. It's a book." She persisted. "Fine, it's Iggy's diary. Happy?" Angel tried to grab the book, but I put it back in my pocket.
"Iggy had a diary?" Nudge and I nodded. "Is that the one we gave you when he died?" Angel asked. "Yes. This is it."
"I wanna read it!" Her face let a small smile. "This will be interesting."
"Well, too bad. You can't read it." Nudge said. "Why not?" Angel protested. "Because you can't. That's why." Angel was used to hearing that, being the youngest. She turned around to get back to whatever she was doing before, but hesitated, and turned back around to face us. "Fine! But what's it about?" She asked.
"It's a diary, what do you think it's about?" Nudge asked impatiently. "Am I in there? Ooh, what did he say about me? Does it say-" I interrupted her.
"It says that you should leave us alone and think about how your brother will die." The moment I said that, I felt instantly guilty. "I'm sorry…"I started. Angel ran to the other corner of the room, crying.
"Nice!" Nudge muttered. "Nice going!" Nothing was going right for me that night. I sighed and headed over to where Fang was.
"I thought I told you to leave me alone!" Fang screamed. "Look, I'm not doing anything! Now how about you leave me alone!" Fang looked at me curiously. "Max? What's wrong?" I took a deep breath.
"Nothing. I'm fine, okay!" Fang awkwardly put his arms around me. "Max, I can't stand seeing you unhappy." That stopped me. I had no idea that he felt that way! I wanted to kiss him right then and there, but I decided to play this one cool.
"Oh and why is that?" I asked coolly. "Because, well I don't know. I've been really stressed and lately the only thing that makes me happy is seeing you happy and seeing you well, care about me." I could practically hear his voice at the end of the sentence.
"Fang, that is very sweet of you to say that." Wait for him to come to you. I thought. "I'm glad…" Fang fell into a silence. Think of something- QUICK!
"Are you still thinking of Iggy?" Not that! "All of the time." A tear rolled down his cheek. "You know, you did what you could for Iggy. You gave all you had. If Iggy were here, he'd be more than happy."
"Really?" Fang asked. "Definitely. Iggy thought very highly of you. If there's a heaven, he watched you and he is thrilled that you did whatever you could to fulfill his final wish." A smile appeared on Fang's face.
"Max, you- I mean I-" Fang flung his arms around me. Oh – my- God! Fang just hugged me! He just hugged me again! Fang's lips started to approach mine. Wow! I closed my eyes. I could practically feel his warms lips touch mine.
"Oh! Mang, Fax, I mean Fang, Max." It was Nudge. Not again! "Is this is a bad time? I mean…" I gave Nudge a dirty look. "It's not a bad time!" Nudge interrupted me. "Good!" I rolled my eyes. "It's a terrible time!"
"Well sorry." Nudge said sarcastically. I pulled Nudge aside. "You ruined it! You ruined it for me! I was so close. So close! Can you believe it?! Twice now you've ruined it for me! Twice!" Nudge looked down and muttered, "I'm sorry, my God!" I looked Nudge strait in the eye. "What did you just say?"
"You heard me." She replied. "That's it!" I cried. I started slapping Nudge as hard and as much as I could "Max, stop it." It was Fang.
"Max, I completely misjudged you. I know that you're stressed and you're not in the best mood. All of us are. But you have no reason to act like that." Fang looked slightly disappointed. "Wait, I just got carried away."
"You always get too carried away. I'm sorry, I can't be with someone who treats their own members of their Flock like that." I touched Fang's shoulder. "Wait! Please, you have to understand…"
"I do understand. I understand that you're not right for me." Fang headed back to his corner and I ran to the couch, pulled a blanket over my head, and started sobbing.
For all of my Christian readers: Merry Christmas
For all of my Jewish readers: Happy Hanukkah
And for everyone: Happy New Year!
