A/N this chapter will sort of be a song fic I wrote and posted separately, but I'm moving it here because I think it will work here


Chapter 12

Gone are the Days of Summer


The day after the Dance they were to head home. So Lily had decided to head to bed early so she could pack. Personally she could not wait to be able to lye in her bed and listen to her collection of muggle music. I folded my still clean clothes, through all of my 'dirty' clothes into a large bag that would go straight to the laundry room. I was feeling a little worried about heading home because before I left my mother though a huge fit over me going back to Hogwarts, my father told her she was being silly and that we can't change who I am.

'Lily, are you okay' Kate's voice drifted over my shoulder, that's when I realized that I'd been crying silent tears.

'Yeah, I'm just don't going home' I lied, I rarely lied to Kate, she was my best friend, next to Him, she seemed to swallow it.

Next thing I know I was sitting on the train, much like the very first trip, I was thinking about Severus and contemplating how I could do something like that, what should I do, the tear still wouldn't stop. And to make this trip even more like that one many moons ago. He found me!

'Lily' He said I ignored him as the train rolled to a stop. 'Lily Please, I what to talk to you' I started to pull my trunk from the luggage rack. 'Lily, stop! At least listen to me. I didn't mean any thing bye what I said, and if you cared at all you'd at least talk to me'

'TALK WITH YOU! THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS TALK WITH YOU!!! You are so much worse than Potter and I'd like to thank you for opening my eyes to that fact! You will never understand how it feels to be solely judged on your birth. I shall not rest until I see you in a jail cell in Azkaban'

'Lily please-'

'SNAPE, OUT NOW' a loud voice yelled from behind Snape. It was James, I hadn't spoken to him since the dance but I hoped we could be friends. Snape fled the compartment.

'Need help with that' he asked considerately, I nodded. He walked over grabbed my trunk with one hand and I one fluid movement pulled it down with little or know effort.

'Thanks, James' I whispered as I pulled my trunk, with the cage for Piper my eagle owl, balancing on top until I could find Jake to take her. I got out onto the platform with little to no difficulty and the first thing I see is my lovely father waiting for me (Jake had found him first). I walked over yelling at Jake to help me as I had two pets and he had none. We both filled him in on who our years were, I told him how I thought I did on my OWLs, he said I will do great. Then when we were half way home I noticed that we were not going back to the little town of Paradise I'd grown up in.

'Dad where are we going?'

'Sorry I couldn't tell you sooner, but about a month after you guys left, I left you mother, now she's fine and is in safe hands at the Paradise Private Hospital being treated for a mental illness I completely understand if you want to go and see her but I don't think that would be very good'

'I don't want to see her' I blurted out we spent the rest of the trip in silence, then I was it my new home, I knew dad had money but I didn't think he had money for a house like this one, it was I lovely two story blue weather board house with a wrap around poach. I loved it. There was I great flowerbed with different coloured lilies planted in them. I quickly found my room, as I walked into the house the living room was to the left the kitchen and my room to the right. There were stairs that I assumed meant Jake's and dad's rooms plus another bath room. My room was fan-freacking-tastic, it had pale blue walls with one of those windows that doubles as I seat. Dad had put everything into its perfect place, the bed in the corner next to the window my desk on the other wall, but the one thing that was new was the TV in the corner opposite my bed next to the closet and dresser. I quickly closed my door and found my IPod, sat at my desk pulled out a piece to parchment pressed and started to write.

You have a way of coming easily to me

And when you take, you take the very best of me

Severus, you had a way of making me believe all your words. But now that's all that all they were, right? Meaningless words, so you defended me! And you still called my best friends, a Mudblood and a blood traitor, why was I different? I played right in to your hands.

So I start a fight cause I need to feel something

And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted

I'm starting to think that you were the reason I fought with Potter all these years. Wrecking any chance that he and I could be friends, I bet you happy with yourself? Even when you did all that to my friends I still thought you cared for me, that dream went up in smoke the second you took the only part of me that still cared for you.

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day

Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say

Your didn't even defend yourself, was the because you knew deep down in that black soul of yours that I was right that those morons are evil or you just couldn't even accept the a muggleborn was better at you at potions. I rained that day; it started out so sunny, joyful and happy and ended up rainy, sad and horrible. I know that you'll never say the word I so desperately need to hear.

And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through

I've never been anywhere cold as you

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray

And I stood there loving you and wished them all away

I remember when this all started fourth year, the year you joined the junior death eater club, what would your mother think, I know she's dead but I thought you cared for her. She didn't want you to turn out like this, you think your life's bad then you better smarten up pretty fast, because this world I live in does not run around you! I watch my father and mother die before my eyes and my sister thinks this is my entire fault because death eaters killed them. You block me out while I let you in, don't you see I trusted you and took that and gave it a way.

And you come away with a great little story

Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you

I wonder if you've told them your story of you itty petty little Mudblood friend, who for some bizarre reason I liked you adored you maybe even love you! Now I hate you I wish I could erase all the horrible tormenting things you've done to me but I can't, and there's nothing in the world you can you to change this, you've made you decision.

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day

Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say

And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through

I've never been anywhere cold as you

You never cared, ever! But I'm going to let you know that I spent hours, days crying for you, I crying for you I thought you disserved more than this, more than I could ever hope to give you and know I wonder if you would care if I died for you? DIED FOR YOU!!!!! Would you care?

You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you

And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you

I loved your smile, now I hate it 'cause every time I see you I see the smiling face I loved so much, and it hurts it really hurts just seeing you... And can't talk to you because it hurts talking to you, really hurts! And writing this right now is killing me, okay? I hope you can understand that.

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day

Every smile you fake is so condescending

Counting all the scars you made

Now you're nothing more that I piece of history, a horrible tragic sad piece of history. I want nothing more to do with you, if I change my mind you or you change your way of thinking, this will be the last time I ever write to you!

Just leave me alone

Lillian Rosalie Evans

And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through

I've never been anywhere cold as you

I sat there and just cried, cried over my lost friend, cried over the person I thought was my friend.


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