Akatsuki Crack Theatre

Bills. Tons and tons and tons of bills. Piles after piles, all about different things. Some were for groceries for the hideout, food from restaurants across the region, electricity, hotel, water, heating, cooling, and all sorts of thousands of bills from everywhere that you could think of.

And, for this month, it was Kisame's turn to do the budget. They'd definitely be alright—the members of the Akatsuki did so many missions for so many people that there was no way they could possibly be under budget, so balancing it wasn't hard.

It was simply goingthrough the bills, and making sure that all the members weren't spending more than they were apportioned. Each member got $1000 a month, which didn't include the money that they spent on meals and hotels. However, any extra they got was the organization's.

"Okay, so since Itachi spent $200 on getting new weapons, and about $150 having all of his weapons sharpened and polished… And $3.25 for socks? Oh, he probably replaced his red house socks…" Kisame added it up, and calculated how much Itachi didn't spend of his $1000. He moved onto Deidara's bills.

"Deidara spent $500 on new art supplies—the hell, did he replace his entire art cabinet? He also spent $30 on… Moisturizing Conditioner and Shampoo? And… $20 on hair mousse? I'll save this bill for later…" Kisame worked through every Akatsuki member, and did the same with each bill.

He reached Sasori's bill. He wasn't expecting much, probably just wood and maybe clothes for his puppets, or something small for himself. Kisame tore open the envelope with a long nail boredly, not expecting to find anything of interest.

"$7 on pay-per-view?" Kisame thought to himself, calculating about how much each movie cost. The cost was usually around $3, plus tax, but the letter said that the two movie titles had been requested to be anonymous.

He was still pondering over what the movie could be, when Deidara walked up behind him. "What's up? Having trouble adding 2 + 2, un? By the way, it's 4, yeah," Deidara chuckled.

"No, no, look at this," Kisame order Deidara, ignoring the insult to his intelligence.

"Hmm… Porn, yeah. It's definitely porn, un. Why else wouldn't the titles show up on the bill, un?"

"Not all embarrassing movies are porn… Besides, Sasori doesn't seem… Into anything else but puppets."

"Well, maybe it's puppet-porn, un?"

"You think Blockbuster has puppet porn?"

"If they do, it's probably bad puppet porn, anyways, un…"

"Oh, look, a confirmation code!"

"Let's call it, yeah."

----

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Blockbuster, how may I help you?"

"Yeah, I wanted to confirm the movies titles for 3998439," Kisame replied to the young-sounding saleswoman, Deidara snickering beside him.

"Oh, yes… Let's see… Pinocchio and The Muppet Christmas Carol. Also, there was a tax added. Is that all you needed to know?"

The woman couldn't even get the entire sentence out—Kisame had hung up by then, and he and Deidara were guffawing on the floor.