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Happy birthday.

My birthday, to me, didn't mean my birthday. It meant our birthday.

It was Enkol and I's birthday. Something else we shared.

But for the past three birthdays, it's been my birthday instead of our birthday, and for each and every single one of them, there has been no one standing next to me as I blew out the candles.

This year, it's different.

Finnick and I celebrate my birthday on the train, over a small cupcake Finnick brought as a present. He was sorry he couldn't get me another present, but I thought the cupcake was one of the best presents I'd ever received.

He was standing next to me as I made my wish, and he was standing there when I blew the candle out.

This year, it was still just my birthday, but this year, I wasn't standing alone.

.

Another month passed. I celebrated Donnie's birthday – just a day filled with laughter, shrieks of happiness, and the occasional surprise.

Donnie is eight years old.

Four more years left.

Nothing should have changed.

But as Finnick said, everything has.

.

Finnick has never met Donnie.

Of course, I told him about her. But I could barely tell Donnie much about him, since there was bound to be a bunch of questions that would lead to her finding out about my 'job' afterwards.

I wasn't ready to tell her yet. But soon. Very soon.

One morning, Finnick asks if he can come over to my house in 5.

Of course, I ask him why.

"The train isn't stopping at Four today." He mumbles. "There was a bad haul this month."
I nod, understanding. I heard about the bad haul, too. There was a major fish shortage now, much to the outrage of the Capitol citizens. The train wouldn't be stopping at District 4 today to pick up the usual haul of fish.

"And I don't quite like the idea of spending a whole day in the train." Finnick finishes, ending with his big puppy-dog eyes.

"You mean you don't like the idea of spending a whole day in the train without me." I tease, smiling though I was worried.

"Precisely. You read my mind." Finnick continues giving me his puppy-dog eyes. "Please?"
"Fine." I sigh, but I smile and let him kiss me.

.

That morning, Finnick and I arrive at 5. Donnie is still asleep, so I wake her.

"Donnie." I whisper, shaking her gently. "I brought a guest today."

At the sound of 'guest', Donnie is wide awake and hopping out of bed, her dark brown hair a mess.

"Who is it?" Donnie asks excitedly, practically jumping up and down.

"You'll see."I smile nervously.

Donnie pads downstairs and I trail behind her. She stops in her tracks when she sees Finnick sitting on our couch. He stands up and waves to her.

"Hi." Finnick grins. "I'm Finnick."

"Anxol." Donnie said slowly. "Who is this?"

"Donnie," I sighed, exasperated, "he just said he was – "

"I know who he is!" She shrieks and turns around to stare at me accusingly, her happy mood dissipating in seconds . "I mean what is he doing here?"
"Donnie, he's my friend." I explain, confused at her strange behaviour. I catch Finnick's eye and try to translate the message sorry through my head. He gets it and nods. It's okay.

"Friend? Just friends?" Donnie glares at him, her eyes like the daggers I could throw.

"Donnie…" I sigh, trying to figure out how Donnie figured it out.

"Don't you 'Donnie' me, Anxol!" She screeches. "Don't you think I hear things at school? Hear things about you? And now you bring him to our house!" She spits out the word him, as if Finnick had killed her pet, or her best friend.

I paled. What did she hear at school? What have they been saying about me?

"Don't you think I notice that you're gone every single night and back early in the morning?" Donnie screams. "Don't you think I realize what you're doing behind my back?"
I let out a breath, and it comes out like a hiss, a balloon slowly deflating.

"He's just some Capitol toy, Anxol. And now he's turning you into one, too!" Donnie shrieks.

That was it.

"Donnie!" I yell. "Finnick is not turning me into a Capitol toy!"

I have never, ever, yelled at Donnie before.

"So you don't deny that he's a Capitol toy?" Donnie asks accusingly.

"A Capitol toy, as you so colourfully put it, is, in fact, one of the things we are called." I yell. "Finnick and I are the same, Donnie."

Suddenly, Donnie's accusing face is gone and it is crumpled up, tears spilling from her eyes. Her hair is still tangled and messy from waking up, and I am tempted to just hold her close and smooth her hair and read her stories like Enkol was still here, like I never went to the Hunger Games.

"Why?" She whispers.

"Listen, Donnie. This isn't how I wanted to tell you – " I start.

"Is it because you just like it so much? Is that it?" Donnie spits out, backing away from me, shaking. "Did he introduce you to it?"

My own sister. Everything I ever had left, looking at me with disgust in her eyes and backing away from me like I was a monster.

"Donnie!" I scream. "Will you just listen to me?"

Never have I ever screamed at Donnie before. I was always looking for a calm, mature, adult solution to our problems. We've been through enough. We didn't need any more problems ending with fights. Never have I resolved to yelling at Donnie.

Just another thing the Capitol has changed.

Donnie falls silent, suddenly aware at my loud yells. Her blue eyes are glossy with tears, whole body shaking with anger.

I take a deep breath and let it out, trying to regain calm.

"Donnie." I start. "When I won the Hunger Games, President Snow offered me a deal."

Donnie stares at me, tears falling, but eyes hard.

This isn't how I wanted to tell her. Not like this. Not now. But what choice did I have?

"The deal President Snow offered me," I say steadily, "was that either I – worked – for him, or he kills you."

It's silent for a few minutes. I see Finnick in the background, still standing. I mouth an I'm so sorry, and he mouths back it's okay. He gives me a small smile.

"Did he really – really say that?" Donnie hiccups, shaking still, though the anger is slowly seeping away from her eyes.

I nod. Not the way I wanted to tell her. A part of me never wanted to tell her at all. Never wanted her to look at me, her big sister whom she looked up to, with such disdain and disgust.

"He had the same deal with Finnick, too. Except with another person." I say softly, tentatively moving towards Donnie, like she was an injured animal.

Donnie just stands there, as still as stone.

"So what do you think I would do, Donnie?" I ask gently, closer to her now. "Do you think I could live with myself, knowing that I could've saved you, and that I didn't? It's just a small sacrifice, Donnie. I did what I know is right."

And then all of a sudden, Donnie jumps on me and hugs me tightly, sobbing loudly.

Finnick appears behind me, like a support. He pats my back and gives me a small, sad smile.

"Also, Donnie," I pull her away from me slightly, "Finnick and I are more than friends. But nothing like that. Please don't be mad."
Donnie looks from me to Finnick and then to me again. And then she starts crying all over again.

"How can I be mad at you?" She says in between sobs. "First you win the Hunger Games to come back to me instead of going to Enkol, and then you do this for me and you gave up so much and then I yell at you and – I can't be mad. I'm not mad. In fact, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

I pat and hush her, though some tears escape my own eyes. I wish I could just yell out 'surprise!' and tell Donnie that this is all just one big joke, an act. Nothing more.

But we all know that's not true. This is reality. This is what I do, what I've become, and there's no turning back from it. I don't want to turn back on my deal with Snow, if it means losing Donnie.

"But why would President Snow do that?" She hiccups into my hair.

"None of us knows what Snow hides," Finnick kneels down next to Donnie, staring at her, "but we know not to refuse what he asks."

"He's not afraid to take what we love." I add softly.

But I will not let him take Finnick or Donnie. I will not let him hurt Johanna or even Haymitch.

I will do anything to protect them.

.

Finnick's POV

Donnie is not what I expected.

Anxol told me that she was extremely understanding, and that she was exceedingly smart. She told me she was innocent, and that she was always curious. I thought she was just saying that because Donnie was her little sister, because that's what big sisters do.

But I didn't need someone to tell me that Anxol would do anything to protect her. Anxol clearly loved Donnie very much. There was no doubting it, the way she looks at Donnie with soft, motherly eyes, trying to protect her from all the horrors of this world.

But Donnie was much smarter than what I expected. I didn't expect her understand what Anxol had to do, to apologize to her, to accept the path her older sister had chosen. But she has, and I honestly think that Donnie is one of the few people in this world that can understand without experiencing.

She also looks different from what I expected. I imagined a smaller version of Anxol. White-blonde hair, pale grey eyes, fair skinned.

But the Donnie that stands in front of me has dark blonde hair and light blue eyes. Her skin is a shade darker than Anxol's, and her jaw isn't as strong.

In a way, the two of them don't look alike, but there's something about them that connects them as sisters. Something I can't quite place my finger on, but it tells me they're sisters nonetheless.

Donnie gently reaches out and brushes my cheek. She stares at me with her light blue eyes. They remind me of the sky behind a pale cloud.

"Promise me," She whispers to me, "that you'll take care of Annie?"
"I promise." I whisper back, meaning it. I would protect Anxol, would make sure she's safe, she's happy - she's my Angelfish and I'm never letting her go - as much as Anxol would protect her little sister.

Anxol watches us, her eyes filled with worry and concern. When her eyes catch mine, they soften slightly, a hint of a broken smile on her lips.

I can almost imagine Enkol standing next to the two of them, though my memory of him is blurry and hazy. I can imagine two parents who risked death for comfort and normalcy for their children.

But when I look up again, I only see two girls left; one small and hurt, the other broken and damaged.

The Capitol has torn this family apart.

But I will try and piece together what is left.


Thanks for reading!

Mid-point POV change because I felt like it, sorry if it sort of annoyed you.

I remember I was so excited to write this chapter, just because Donnie finds out and everything is all yelling. But then when I re-read it, I'm just like - why did I want to write this in the first place?

Ah, oh well. Hopefully you guys like it better than I do.

Any questions? Comments? Feedback? Leave it as a review!

Thanks for reading & next chapter up tomorrow!