Sorry about the long updates you guys! I've been sick (worse than sick, really, but I doubt you want to hear the details) and I haven't been on the computer in a while. For those of you on yahoo who may have tried to IM me and saw that I was logged on…yeah, that was my sister. She refuses to log off of my things. And if there are author alerts for stories that I haven't read, I'm sorry again, but it's not my fault! It was the bronchitis, sinuses, blah blah blah.

Other than that, just so you know, by the time you've read this, I will have become a legal adult. That's right! 18! Gimme a car! Okay, on with this thing…

Disclaimer (because I rarely remember them anyway): I do not own Hey Arnold…

Chapter Twelve: A.K.A Blackmail

"The next one up
A contemptible snob
He lived to put things in their place
He did a commendable job:
He put himself so low
He can hardly even look me in the face."

Fiona Apple "Get Him Back"

"Wait…what?"

"What?" Olga replied, off into her own little world of big dinners and the company that would be partaking of it.

"What did you say?" Helga asked, snapping out of her daydream, which turned out to be more of a nightmare.

"I said, I was thinking about making a salad to go with the roast bee-"

"No." Helga interrupted. "Before that."

"Drew and your friend Sean are coming over for dinner." Olga stated simply.

"How on earth did that happen?" Helga asked, without really asking.

"Well, Drew and I were talking, and he's never met you and-"

"Yeah, that's great. What about the last part?" Helga asked, reminding herself to either not interrupt for the remainder of the conversation, or at least apologize for it later.

"Oh, well, Sean called after I got home from work, and it just happened." Olga said, obviously not realizing the panic in her younger sister's voice.

No. Things like this just don't happen. Having your grand master lie fall apart around you doesn't just happen.

"What'd he say?" Helga asked urgently, hoping to pry more information from her sister.

"Well, first, he asked to speak to you-" Olga began, barely getting anything out. If Helga really wanted to know so badly, her interruptions weren't convincing Olga.

"Speak to who?" Helga asked.

"Whom. And he asked to speak to you." Olga stated, obviously.

"He said that? He said may I speak to…" she said, hoping Olga would finish the sentence.

"You. Helga."

'How does he know my name? How did he get the house number? Where did he get this information…?'

"Anything else?" Helga asked, prying even more.

"I told him you weren't home, and he said he had something very important to tell you and that-"

"To tell me? Helga?"

"Yes. Please stop interrupting." Olga said.

"Sorry…"

"He said he had something important to tell you, so I told him you'd be home later and to come by and that he could stay for dinner." Olga said, finally finished.

"You invited him to dinner? Here?" Helga asked, hoping the last four minutes were a horrible dream.

"Yes. I don't see what the problem is…unless you like him…" Olga stated, shooting a knowing glance in her sister's direction.

"No! I can't stand him! And I cannot believe you invited him here for dinner!" Helga bellowed, moving from the kitchen into the dining room.

"Well, what am I supposed to do, Helga? Call him up and say 'I'm very sorry, young man, but my sister's spontaneous outbursts have caused me to un-invite you to dinner tonight. Thank You!'" Olga said, holding her fingers up to the side of her face, pantomiming a phone. "No thank you."

"But-"

"Helga, no. Even if you 'can't stand' this boy," Olga began, mimicking Helga melodramatic tone. "It's only one night. I'm sure you'll survive." Olga then returned to chopping vegetables.

Inside her room, Helga went over the past few minutes, and how they could have occurred. From were she stood, her plan (and accompanying lie) was foolproof. She never kept any evidence of her real name lying around. He must have had an in with a teacher, seeing as Dr. Phelps would never rat her out.

Lying face down on her bed, she stared at the floor contemplating her frankly miserable situation. After a few minutes, she drifted off into an uncomfortable state of sleep.

"HELGA!"

Helga awoke abruptly, her vision obstructed in one eye from the mass of blonde hair that had fallen over her face. She could tell she had been sleeping for a while; her lights were off and the blinds opened, casting a blue tint into the room from the darkening sky.

"Crimeny, Olga…" She muttered, rolling over. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Helga propped herself up by her elbows, before remembering the scenario that took place before her nap.

Sean was coming.

Without much thought, Helga ran her fingers through her hair, mussing it more so than it already was, and stood. Looking down at herself, she saw that her pants and shirt were both wrinkled. In a frenzy to get to the bus stop in time, she'd thrown on her socks, without noticing or caring that they did not match. She was a mess in every sense of the word.

Perfect.

Walking out into the hallway confidently, Helga peered over the wall to the living room to see if Sean had arrived. She heard Olga moving around in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the night's meal. No one was in the living room or sitting at the dining table. Before she could dash into the bathroom to smudge some makeup over her face, Olga spoke again.

"Helga, what are you wearing?" Before Helga could reply, Olga pleaded her second command of the night. "Please, go change, Drew is on his way."

Back in her room, Helga silently cursed at Olga for messing up her plan. 'So much for turning him off…' Helga thought as she found a clean pair of pants and shirt. Reemerging, she donned a brown, short-sleeved T-shirt, and a pair of black jeans. In a moment of consideration for Olga, she managed to find a pair of matching socks, decorated with flying pigs.

"You must be Helga. Heard so much about you."

Helga was slightly startled by the voice that came from the living room couch, seeing as she hadn't heard anyone knock on the door while she was getting dressed. She returned with a polite smile to the stranger who so casually had his arm around the back of the couch that he'd probably sat on a million times.

Drew was almost as Olga had described him, only much taller. Helga had never seen anyone that tall up close, even though he was still sitting down. His hair was cut neatly, junior-executive style, and moussed to one side. His face was kind enough, though Helga knew that a kind face did not always make a kind person. But Olga liked him enough, and that was good enough for her.

Before Helga could offer her services to Olga with dinner, the doorbell rang. Helga's stomach emitted a sting all the way down to her toes, which could only be explained as a teacher asking you to pass up your test when you've just finished sleeping on it. Just as it was about to subside, Olga brought it back.

"Can you get that, Helga? It's probably your friend."

Helga managed to mutter an audible "He's not my friend!" before approaching the door. Peering out the peephole, Helga saw the current bane of her existence rocking back and forth on his heels.

In a moment of bravery, Helga shouted at the closed door. "We don't want any!" and walked back towards the kitchen. When Olga's gaze met hers, she shrugged her shoulders innocently. "Solicitors."

Olga walked to the door, as Helga walked into the farthest part of the kitchen. The last thing she wanted to see was…him enter her home.

"Helga, your guest is here…" Olga said, while the hinges of the front door released a tired creak.

'You invited him; he's your guest…' Helga thought, retreating from the kitchen. She tried not to wear her look of disdain so blatantly, but only so many things could be helped.

As Helga entered the room, she noticed a bouquet of red roses being thrust into Olga's hands. Olga turned the exact shade of the roses and turned to Helga, giving her a knowing look.

"…And these, are for you." Sean said, thrusting identical roses into her own hands. Helga counted them in her hand. Thirteen. For a spoiled rich kid, he sure did take advantage of sales. At least he remembered to bring them this time.

'Didn't I mention that I don't like roses?' Helga thought, mumbling a thank you, and excusing herself to put her "gift" in water. Back in the living room, Olga and Drew had already begun to question Sean "new-boyfriend" style, despite the fact that he was anything but. Helga leaned on the doorpost of the kitchen until she thought it was safe to speak.

"Whenever we can start eating…" Helga said. The sooner this dinner was over, the better. Not to mention her attitude was a sure fire way to end Sean's unwholesome obsession with her.

"Wonderful idea, sweet. May I use your bathroom first?" Sean asked pleasantly.

"Of course. Helga, will you show Sean where the bathroom is?" Olga said, already halfway in the kitchen and occupied with placing all the food in the center of the table.

Satisfied with grumbling down the hallway, Helga showed Sean where the bathroom was. As soon as she was out of eyeshot from Olga, Helga roughly pushed Sean into the empty bathroom and followed him in, fuming.

"Wanna tell me what exactly you're doing…in my house!" Helga said in a harsh whisper, trying not to alarm Drew or Olga.

"Why, I have no idea what you're talking about…Helga…" he replied, putting added stress on her name. He knew her secret, and he wasn't going to let her forget it.

Helga stepped back a little, not letting any intimidation show on her face. He held her secret, and she knew threatening him would only make it worse. "Well, that doesn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

"Well," he began, a smug look already on his face. "I did initially come to let you know that I'm aware of your little secret, but by the look on your face, that news is already apparent." His answer was met with a low grumble from Helga, which he disregarded and continued speaking. "Besides a free meal, I'd also like to drop off…this." he said, handing her a sheet of paper. From the numbers lining the left side of the page and the spacing of each line, Helga could tell it was a list. But a list of what she wondered.

"What is this exactly?" Helga said, holding up the list as if it were a dirty diaper.

"That is my list of demands. Unless you want your secret all over the school, you'll adhere to them very closely."

"List of demands! Who the he-" Helga began, already enraged.

"Ah, ah, ah…" Sean interrupted, in a sing-song voice that was practically mocking Helga. "Rule number Seven, No cursing at me."

"Why this? Why a list of demands? Why not make me wash your car or…clean up after your dog, or something?" Helga asked. None of the tasks seemed too appealing to her, but she'd rather do them then follow a bunch of ridiculous rules.

"Well, mainly because I don't have a car and that stupid excuse for an animal belongs to Candy. Not only that…" he started, looking for the correct and least incriminating words. "You're…refusal of me has seemed to spread, and frankly…I find it rather embarrassing."

Helga stepped towards Sean, ready to hit him as hard as she liked, this time, not caring what damage she caused. "Are you saying you're going blackmail me to feed your ego?"

Completely unintimidated, Sean replied: "Pretty much."

"You can't do this." Helga said, crossing her arms.

"I'm not sure what it was that you did in your past to make you want to hide your identity. But, rest assured I can do this." he said, brushing past her and down the hallway.

Helga snatched a bright blue towel from off of the towel rack in the bathroom, and stifled a scream into it before joining Sean in the dining room.

"You won't believe it!"

Every time (which was virtually everyday) that Candy uttered those four fateful words, Helga was unsure if her tone denoted something good or bad. Unlike Helga, you couldn't tell how Candy was feeling by her face. She could change her expression at the drop of a hat.

"You're brother is being transferred to a military school in the south of Wales?" Helga said, monotone, and not really in the mood for any of Candy's good news. Good news for Helga was that everyone she may have known five years ago suddenly got amnesia and forgot about her. Good news for Candy was the last pair of Steve Madden round-toe heels with the little pink bows on the side were finally on sale. Candy wasn't superficial; she just cared about how she looked.

"No, although that wouldn't be bad news either…" Candy replied, getting instantaneously distracted. "Anyway, guess what? The Evil Language Sorceress decided to "surprise us with a quiz today!" Candy said, dramatically throwing her arms into the air.

"How'd you do?" Helga asked, getting straight to the point. The sooner she got out of this conversation, the sooner she could start explaining the night before. Unless Sean had beat her to it.

"89! I got an 89! Do you know what this means!"

"We just might graduate the same year?" Helga remarked, earning her a push on the arm from Candy.

"No…Mike said he'd take me out to dinner if I passed my next quiz…" Candy admitted, a crimson blush making its way to her cheeks.

"Yet another man falls prey to the infamous Candy…well, have fun." Helga said, turning towards her next class and ending the conversation, while forgetting that her next class was with Candy.

"Hey! I can't go alone!" Candy pleaded, standing with Helga outside the classroom.

"Of course you're not going alone! That's what Mike is there for…"

"You know how I am. I'd run out of things to talk about…" Candy said, painting her innocent face on; fully equipped with big shiny eyes and a quivering bottom lip.

"What do you want me to do?" Helga asked.

"We could double date! That way, if one of us gets stuck and has nothing to say, the other one can help that one out. We can save each other, Ann! Please?" Candy said. Though her plead made little sense, Helga understood where it may have been coming from. Despite her pity for Candy, there was one fatal flaw in her plan.

"Even if I did agree to go with you on this thing, we still have one problem. A double date is two people each being accompanied by a date of their own. Four people, Candy." Helga said, taking her seat.

Candy rolled her eyes at her friend's dense outlook on anything having to do with any sort of relationship with practically anyone. "That's no problem. We'll just find you someone to go with. Who do you like?"

Helga was almost baffled at Candy's ability to make something look like nothing. That with a little bit of brainstorming and some cunning, you can successfully dribble a football, train a cow to fly, and eat an entire tub of orange sherbet ice cream in 4 seconds without getting the slightest brain freeze.

"No one."

"That's impossible. We're in high school. Everyone likes someone in high school." Candy explained, as if she'd been in this business for decades as opposed to a year and a half.

Helga ran the palms of her hands down her face. Her usual pessimism wasn't working on this girl. "Candy, I really don't want to do this. Can't I just tag along or something?"

"No, that'd be weird if three people go on a date. You know what they say: Two's company, Three's a crowd."

"According to a popular 70's sitcom, three is considered company, so…"

"Ahh, darling…"

Helga cringed, knowing the voice behind her was the last one she wanted to hear, and its owner the last person she wanted to see. Trying to pretend like she didn't hear anything at all, Helga tried to continue her conversation with Candy, who was throwing suspicious glances at her.

"Oh yeah…hi Sean." Helga mumbled, turning around, facing the chalkboard with her back to both Candy and Sean. In truth, she couldn't bear to look at either of them. One out of sheer embarrassment, the other out of pure disdain.

"And good morning to you too, Sweetheart!" Sean piped up enthusiastically.

Despite Helga reminding him that their little "deal" would not include any physical contact, Sean knew that she wasn't going to break the deal and risk being exposed right out in the open, and decided to take advantage of this. Placing his right hand on her right shoulder, he drew her suddenly stiff body towards his and landed a peck on her left cheek. He felt the muscles in her cheek congeal into a frown, making him smile as he rose and took his seat in the front of the class.

As soon as Sean was at his seat, Helga began clawing at her face as if he'd planted a viral infection on her face rather than a kiss. The look of disdain and the kiss both shocked and confused Candy.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

Candy shot Helga a glare before continuing. "You know what I mean. What was all that about with Sean?"

Helga painted on her most pleading face, which wasn't all that pleading, but it made Candy sit down in concern anyway. "I wanted to tell you before he did. I'm kinda…failing Geometry. And since he's really the only one who knows what's going on in that class, I asked for help. But the only way he would is if I pretended to be his girlfriend." Helga said the word with as much scorn as possible. The word itself bred a funny taste in her mouth. Like tasting the sour cream that's been in your fridge for quite a while because you think it might still be edible.

"And you agreed!"

"I had to! I can't fail Geometry; my sister would kill me…"

"I guess I understand that…are you sure there's no one else to help you?" Candy asked, seriously concerned now. Anyone who had the misfortune of dating, even if falsely her stepbrother deserved a second chance.

"All the other classes are studying different things. It's hopeless…" Helga added, a hint of teenage-angst-drama thrown in there.

"That sucks…" Candy began, biting a corner f her lip. "Hey, how about I-", Candy said, until her question was cut short by another question.

"May I ask what is so interesting that it has to interrupt my lecture?"

Helga and Candy sat the remainder of class in silence. The only sounds that Helga could hear was the nail file that kept going back and forth over Candy's fingernails and the occasional breeze that came from Candy blowing away the dust that her filing produced. Helga, on the other hand was replaying her evening in her head, remembering every sickening detail.

"So, how do you know Sean?" Drew asked. Since Sean had entered the apartment, Drew had been watching Helga. The looks on her face, her tone of voice and her gestures told him that she'd rather be testing a fresh car battery with her tongue than have dinner with Sean.

"School and stuff." Helga said, stabbing her roast beef in way that would maim it for life if it weren't already dead.

"We have several classes together." Sean commented, making sure to flash his Colgate-Ad smile across the table. Helga wanted to shove her salad in his face and drown him in ranch dressing, but knew how Olga would feel about the stains it would leave. "And may I say that dinner is absolutely delicious."

Helga's sigh was audible this time, but Olga just ignored it, replied sweetly and thanked Sean for the compliment and the roses.

Well, Helga was so appreciative of hers; I figured her sister would be as well."

"He's gotten you roses before!" Olga asked, in a voice high enough to Mariah Carey to shame. She didn't quite give Helga enough time to answer before her next outburst. "That's absolutely adorable!" she wailed, clasping her hands together and trapping them underneath her chin.

As Sean shrugged, feigning modesty, Helga stood abruptly and mumbled something about reheating her food. Inside the kitchen, Helga practically threw her plate into the microwave and set in on high for 5 minutes. Despite the dangers that Aunt Dee had told her (and probably exaggerated) about staring into a microwave, Helga took no chances and watched her food whirl around under the yellow light of her microwave, trying to lengthen the time she had to spend at the dinner table.

Two minutes and thirteen seconds into reheating her food, Olga called into the kitchen asking why Helga was taking so long reheating her food.

"I like my food hot." A burnt tongue and a few dead taste buds was a small price for a few more seconds away from Sean.

By the time the five minutes had elapsed, the cheese that Helga had sprinkled on her mashed potatoes had melted over the side of her plate and formed an orange-yellow puddle on the bottom of the microwave.

Back at the table, Drew was going on about some book that he had been reading. Helga guessed that Sean had tried to start conversation by asking what anybody was reading, and Drew had volunteered. Helga would have been focused more so on Drew speaking, seeing as she was looking for a few new books to read. All of the unfinished books that she had brought with her from Vermont had been long since read and reread. As much as she would have liked to have concentrated harder, Sean was persistently messing with her. Under the table he poked, prodded, pinched and kicked her in the most annoyingly flirtatious way: hard enough to distract her, and subtle enough to keep from hurting her.

Whether or not his intentions were pure (most likely not), they were nevertheless annoying. Helga bridled her temper, scooting her chair away from him little by little, instead of succumbing to her anger and slapping him in the face. Eventually, she reached the end of the table and could not move any further to her right. She turned to him, and gave him a look that said "Back off or Die", which he blatantly ignored. There wasn't much other reason for her to leave the table. She'd gone to the bathroom twice and swore she heard the phone ring three times already. She couldn't find any other excuse to leave the table. Again.

She tried every anger relieving technique imaginable: counting to her favorite number (seventeen), taking deep, slow breaths and thinking of her happy place (which at the time was anyplace where Sean was forbidden to enter). As each finger was angrily released from the blood deprived prison that was her fist, Helga tried her best to calm down for what felt like the 30th time. But the moment Sean placed his hand on her knee and refused to remove it, did she get truly upset.

Helga smiled as her hand crept up the side of her face and stopped at her ear. She made a slight face as she pinched the bottom of her earlobe, but still managed to keep a face straight enough to keep everyone at the table (Sean especially) thinking that nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

Slipping her hand back down her face, Helga let her hand hover over Sean's for a moment. The prospect that she'd be willingly engaging in physical contact with him was slightly disturbing, but the reward of such shadowed everything.

Turning to Sean and smiling as maniacally as he did, Helga kept her eyes locked on his face as she brought her hand down, meeting with Sean's a split-second before inflicting her "blow".

Had Helga any intention to give herself away, she would have laughed right then an there. Shed have fallen onto the ground, in a fit of unrestrained laughter and stayed there until she saw fit to stand up. Fortunately and unfortunately, Helga was to self composed and had to make due with reacting to Sean's leap backwards and plummet to the floor with a smile.

"Oh my goodness…Sean are you alright!" Olga said, clapping her hand over her mouth and leaning over the table to see Sean propping himself up off of the floor.

Helga noticed that Drew was giving her a look; half accusingly, half comedic. He obviously knew what she did but had no qualms about her getting back at Sean.

"I'm fine…" Sean said, almost angrily. He wasn't aware of what exactly happened, but just knowing that Helga would comply and put up a fight did upset him. He shook his hand loosely, the tiny red mark and pinkish outline barely visible from the other side of the table and stood to address the table. "I just remembered…I really have something I must take care of. Thank you for your hospitality. Goodnight all…"

Olga smiled at his thanks, and shot her sister a glance that read "Go. Now. Grounded." Helga didn't pick up on it right away, or at least pretended like she didn't. When Olga jerked her head to the side so hard that her hair probably got whiplash. Helga stood, placing her instrument of impalement, a tiny diamond studded earring into her pocket.

There was little chance that Sean would just walk out of a home he was wrongfully invited into like a normal person, mostly because Helga doubted he was a normal person at all. As soon as he was out of the door, he turned so that he was bordering the hallway and the doorway, thinking Helga wouldn't shut the door on his foot.

Helga rolled her eyes. If I stabbed you in the hand with an earring, what makes you think I won't slam the door on your foot? she thought, avoiding his eyes.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow Helga?"

"Yeah, just hope I don't wear hoops, or I might have to pin you to a wall." Helga remarked, crossing her arms.

Sean's face got immediately straight and almost intimidating. "Rest assured, Helga that I do not like being messed with. And when I am messed with I have ways of making people pay. Remem-"

Helga knew that she'd have to pay for slamming the door in his face the next day, but she wasn't entirely intimidated by Sean. Sure he knew her secret, but his pride was way too heavy to give up power by revealing her right away. He wanted to bask in this for a while, even if it meant taking some crap from her.

"Helga, now was that really necessary?" Olga asked, still seated at the table. Drew's arm was now draped over the back of her chair.

"Yes." Helga said as though being asked if she was allergic to strawberries. "He was getting dangerously close to my face."

"I meant the whole night. Don't you think you were a little rude?" Olga asked again.

"No. I think coming into a house where you are not wanted, bringing flowers for the hostess's sister that she doesn't even like, passing yourself off as a gentleman when you're not even human and acting like people owe you something is rude." Helga replied taking a seat on the couch with her back turned to Drew and Olga. She didn't expect Olga to understand all of that, but at least it was said.

"You have to admit…" Drew began. "He was sort of…artificial."

"See!" Helga screamed, almost jumping off of the couch. "My work here is done. I'm off to bed." Helga said, stretching momentarily and making her way down the hall. "Nice meeting you Drew. Goodnight Olga."

"Hey!"

"Huh? What?" Helga said snapping out of her daydream/flashback. She peered around the room and saw this it was empty, save for herself and Candy.

"Guess what? At this school there's this thing called a bell. It doesn't sound like a real bell but that's what the teachers call it. Anyway, when you hear this "bell" thing, you get to leave the class you're in and go to another one. Some people decide not to, but I thought we'd give it a whirl, just this once."

"Har har, how funny." Helga replied, gathering her books and following candy out of the door and down the crowded hallway.

In some ways, this was one of my favorite chapters. I love the beginning. The end…hate it hate it, hate it, hate it. I could do better. But my mind is in several different places. Here's to doing better next time. Oh and feel free to bring any bad or misused grammar to my attention. I'm a big fan of concrit.

Bittersweet Catastrophe is next for updates. This upcoming chapter was (and still is) really hard. You'll get why when you read it. It's my first real story from a first person perspective and it's not easy. But oh well.

I'd seriously give you guys a summary of the next chapter, but you guys are smart enough already, so I won't. Peace, Goodbye, So Long, Farewell Auf Wiedersehen, and all that Jazz.

-PointyObjects