Sorry this took so long. As much as I have wanted to, sitting in front of a computer and writing a story has proven to be extremely difficult, but finally here it is. It's slightly a shorter chapter than the others and a bit of filler but don't worry it's going somewhere I promise. If you've been reading this story please, please be patient with me. I really promise you're going to like where this goes (I hope).
Anyway, please review and I will try to get the next one out to you quickly.
O
Twelve
Don't Prove Me Wrong
Four Months Later…
In the weeks following Damon's departure to Italy with Stefan and Lexie, my life in Mystic Falls seemingly went back to normal. Seemingly being the operative word. My senior year began and I was soon back in a familiar and normal routine that existed before either Salvatore brother ever came to Mystic Falls. And what should have been a time of excitement and celebration for me was filled with nothing but quiet melancholy and it killed me.
Damon Salvatore…Oh man. I missed him; it was as simple as that.
In my head, and in all logical thinking it should have been a relief to me that he was gone. It should have been a relief that all of the vampires had left Mystic Falls but it wasn't. Not even close. I couldn't feel that relief. In the short time that the Salvatore's had been in Mystic Falls, they had definitely left their mark on the town, especially on me. One Salvatore in particular.
I felt his loss acutely. It was strange because I couldn't treat it like a breakup because we were never together and it was more than just friend leaving because he was more than that to me. There was no correct word to describe what Damon Salvatore was to me.
I was beyond frustrated because he had just left when we were just getting somewhere or at least I thought we had been. Maybe it was just a dream, but I replayed that last night in my bedroom over and over again and I was sure it had occurred. No I know it had. I told him that I had cared for him, he protested a bit but I got through to him and we kissed and he said he wanted to take it slow. How on earth had he gone from taking it slow to outright leaving town? He put a complete halt to everything is what he did.
Thinking about Damon was all I did. I desperately tried not to but my thoughts always wandered to him. It was pathetic and I knew it. The only thing that came out of my IPod lately was Adele and I swear I could relate to and understand every word she sang because it was exactly how I felt about Damon. I have never been the type of girl to moon over a guy, that's always been Caroline's department, but here I was doing exactly that. The worst part was that I'm sure everyone knew that the apparent change in my behavior was all because of him.
"No way, he did it! I can't believe he actually did it!" I heard Jeremy yell excitedly from downstairs.
I put my pencil down and ran down the stairs to see what Jeremy was yelling about it. I found him, Aunt Jenna and Alaric in the hallway smiling and looking over something in Jeremy's hand.
"What's going on?"
"He did it Elena, he got my drawings published in this magazine!" He said holding out a magazine. I grabbed it and I instantly recognized Jeremy's work on the marked page.
"Oh my God Jer this is amazing."
"Yeah this is amazing Jeremy I can't believe your work has been published." Jenna said smiling. "I feel like I've finally done something right around here."
"Thanks," he said running his hands through his hair with a goofy happy expression on his face. "He said he was going to do it and I sent him my stuff not really thinking he would but he did it he actually did it."
"Who?" I asked.
"What do you mean who?" Jeremy asked looking at me strangely.
"Who is this mystery person that helped you?" I said smiling as we all walked into the kitchen.
"Oh it's Damon." He said and my smile instantly fell and my eyes followed my brother as he nonchalantly grabbed the milk carton from the fridge and started drinking from it before Jenna grabbed it out of his hands and pointed at the glasses.
"Damon…Damon helped you?"
"Yeah." He said nodding his head before handing me a piece of paper. I looked down and instantly recognized Damon's familiar scrawl.
Jeremy,
Thought you might like to see this. You did good kid.
Damon.
"When he looked at my work before he mentioned that he had a friend at this magazine who might be interested in taking a look at some of my work and possibly get it published." Jeremy explained.
"So you gave him some of your work before he left?" I said feeling slightly dumfounded holding the note in my hand.
"No it wasn't done yet. I mailed it to him a month ago."
"You mailed it to him a month ago?" I asked feeling like the ground was coming out from under me. Jeremy has been in contact with Damon? "You've been talking to Damon?"
"Yeah we've been emailing and he gave me his address." He said smiling, "Oh man, I've got to call Anna. She's never going to believe this. She's going to absolutely flip."
He left the three of us in the kitchen to go call Anna, his new girlfriend. I sat there on the stool feeling like I had just been hit by a truck…Jeremy and Damon had been communicating. How was that even possible? Damon hadn't responded to any of my text messages or emails but he was corresponding with my little brother, getting his stuff published in magazines. I tell him I care about him and I get nothing but my brother…
"Elena are you alright?" Jenna asked peering over at me with a concerned look on her face.
"Uh yeah, I'm just really happy for Jeremy. I can't believe it, it's really great." I said putting a perfected smile on my face. "Did you need help with dinner, I'm gonna go up and finish my homework."
Jenna shook her head I started up the stairs still holding Jeremy's note from Damon in my hands but Ric suddenly called out to me. "Elena can I talk to you for a minute?" he said looking concerned.
"Uh sure."
"Can we talk in private?" He said motioning to the front door. I nodded my head and followed him outside onto the porch.
"I take it from all of the questions to Jeremy that you haven't heard from Damon." he said watching me as I took seat on the bench.
"No, but not for lack of trying, he appears to be avoiding me." I say hearing the bitterness and anger in my own voice and I notice the wince on his face, "and from the look on your face I'm guessing you know all about this."
"I've spoken to him a few times. He checks in to make sure everything is ok or rather that you're ok. I finally called him on it that last time we spoke since you are always the last thing he asks about, actually he usually manages to mention you a few time. He tried to play it off though. I've also noticed the way you've been acting since he left." He said facing me and I turn away. "I tried to get him to call you but he's stubborn SOB."
I thought about it for a second and felt myself getting angry. "He obviously wants nothing more to do with me so what more is there to say. It's probably better that I haven't heard from him."
"Look Elena I won't even begin to pretend to know what goes on in Damon's head or what his motives for not contacting you are let alone anything, but if I know Damon at all its because he's trying to convince himself that you're better off without him."
"Or he just doesn't care."
"Do you really believe that?" he said looking at me with is brow raised and I shook my head knowing that it wasn't true.
"So what am I supposed to do, just sit around and wait for Damon to get a clue?"
He shrugged looking out at a car passing by before turning back to me. "Did I ever tell you how Damon and I met?"
"No." I said shaking my head looking at him curiously and the fact was I always did wonder how Alaric ever became involved with vampires.
"My wife Isobel was teaching at Duke, folklores and legends, weird right? I was teaching history at a nearby prep school, not nearly as cool. Isobel, loved her work, and somehow she became obsessed with these legends she found of the vampires in the South. She told me about these leads that she followed up on and unfortunately it put her in the path of some dangerous vampires." He said with a sad look on his face. "A group of vamps she came across through on of her leads made her believe she could trust them and one night they followed her home and believing they were trust worthy she made the mistake of inviting them in. When I walked into my house that night they were torturing her, and they made me watch as they tortured, fed on her and ra…" he stopped for a moment and I could see this emotion and anguish in his eyes as he relived that night, "Then all out of the blue Damon suddenly came in and killed all the vamps. He tried to give Isobel his blood to save her but it was too late. He told me that he had been helping Isobel with her research and he got wind of some bad vamps out for her because she was asking too many questions."
Ric paused and I saw a broken look in his eyes. "I was beyond angry and I vowed from that day on that I would make sure that vamps wouldn't hurt anyone like that again. Damon tried to talk me out of it but I guess when I confronted a few vamps on my own completely unprepared and in over my head he saw that I was determined to do it with or without his help so he started training me, probably to make sure I didn't die right away. He was determined to keep his distance from me and keep it strictly professional but I started to see he cared. We bonded and became unlikely friends."
"Damon, he…he likes everyone to believe that he doesn't care but I think his problem is, is that he cares too much and he believes everyone is better off without him, that he doesn't deserve to have anyone care about him in return." He said mater-of-factly. "All I'm saying is that I get that you have a right to be angry with him for leaving and not contacting you but it's not because he doesn't care."
"So you're saying that I should just let him get over himself and let it go?" I say.
He shrugged, "That's up to you to decide but from my experience Damon's not someone I'd ever give up on."
We both stayed silent for a while letting Alaric's words fall over us. "So I was talking to the guidance counselor the other day and she just happened to mention that you haven't applied to any colleges yet and it's nearly Thanksgiving, a lot of the deadlines are just around the corner."
I shrugged and put my hands under my legs and swung my feet. "I uh I haven't really thought about it."
"You haven't thought about it?" he said the surprise clear on his face. "Elena when I first met you, you couldn't stop talking about how you were planning on going to Yale or Georgetown. You had it all planned out." he said looking at me intently.
"I don't know I guess things just change." I say shrugging again wracking my brain, trying to find something else to talk about but coming up short.
"Come on Elena, you're smart and talented, how could you not be thinking about going to college?" He says before something seems to dawn on him and he nods his head. "You know I get that you've been through a lot, no one knows pain and heart ache like I do, but you owe it to yourself to move on, to move forward to not let the past dictate your future."
I just sit there and don't respond. I know he's right. I have about a dozen college brochures sitting in my room untouched and I can't bring myself to think about filling out any of the applications.
"Look I'm not saying you need to make any decisions right now, but I think you should at least go on some campus visits, check them out, see what you may like. In fact, I still have a few contacts at Duke, I can probably even arrange for you to stay with a friend there that's currently in their graduate program." he suggests looking at me hopefully.
"I…I guess that sounds ok."
"Great I'll set it up." he says. We both turn our heads when we hear Jenna call out announcing that dinner is ready. Alaric starts opening the door as I stand up to follow up but he suddenly stops and turns back to me. "I just want you to know that you're one of the strongest people I know Elena." he says sincerely.
"Thank you." I say and he nods his head.
Later that evening I went back to my room to study but it soon became impossible. Alaric's words regarding Damon kept coming back to me.
He's trying to convince himself that you're better off without him
That certainly sounded like something Damon would do, avoid me because he believes I'm better off without him.
There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, and it's bringing me out the dark
Finally I can see you crystal clear
Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare
See how I'll leave with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do
I turned my head towards my IPod listening Adele's familiar words and remembering when this song had played at the engagement party, feeling the words.
There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch
And it's bringing me out the dark
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one of you
And I'm gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Making a home down there
As mine sure won't be shared
The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling
We could have had it all
I let the words fall over me and suddenly I knew what I had to do.
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside of your hand
But you played it with a beating
I turned my laptop on and opened my email and started frantically typing an email to Damon.
Throw your soul through every open door
Count your blessings to find what you look for
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold
You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
It all, it all, it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
But you played it
You played it
You played it
You played it to the beat
Dear Damon,
I can't say that I understand why you left or agree with it, but I think I get it. There are things that I said to you the last night we saw eachother that I need you to know that I meant. I know you're a vampire and I understand how dangerous vampires are. I'm not trying to naïve about it, but I also know that you're not the typical vampire. You have your humanity I hope you see that. Like I told you all I see when I look at you is a man, just a man. I wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wish you could understand and believe just how amazing you are and how deserving you are of love.
I'll you give the time you need, but with that time just remember that I'm still just a human and time for me is a little more precious than it is for you.
I believe in you Damon. You proved me wrong once, please don't do it again.
Elena
I re-read the email a few more times and I let my hand hover over the SEND button for a moment when another Adele song came on and I knew that I just had to let go and move forward so I hit send and let Damon go…for now.
A.N. - Ok in case you're all freaked out...she's not entirely letting him go more like deciding to not let herself wallow in what could have been anymore. She wants him to come back to her but he has believe that he's really worth it. I hope that makes sense, somewhere in my head when I was writing this it made sense to me. =)
