Welcome to the epilogue. We're finally here, there were moments even I was worried that I would never finish this, but now that I have I am beyond proud of it, even if it did go in a different direction than I was expecting when I first started. But I like to think the conclusion is fitting, if a bit bittersweet. BTW I threw a crackship of mine in at the end, well, it's more implied, but still, I really hope it doesn't bother anybody too much, if it does I apologize in advance. I just couldn't help it. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading and if you're tuning in to Rachel Rises a new chapter should be up before the weekend.
Ohio, May 1953
He knew that he was going to miss her, that he would miss all of them, but he wasn't prepared for just how much he would. Every day away from his family was harder than the last and all he wanted was to see them again if only for a moment. Now as he awaits Kurt's arrival at the train station he can't help but feel a bit nervous. He knows that not much has changed since he left nearly two years ago, but being back in America already feels like stepping into a different world.
"Finn, oh my god Finn!" His face breaks out into a beaming smile at the sight of his friend rushing up to him, he looks the same, maybe a tad more grown up, but he supposes that was to be expected. He wants to give him a solid hug as a little reminder that he's home again, but the smaller boy stops short at the sight of his arm sling, and his smile falls ever so slightly.
"I'm so glad you're home Finn," Kurt says. "I just wish you would have come back in one piece."
"What are you talking about Kurt, I'm still in one piece," Finn insists. "My shoulder will probably never be the same again but I'm lucky I'm not dead."
"I'll say," Kurt replies.
"So are you going to give me a hug or what?" Finn teases.
"Oh, I don't know, I don't want to hurt yo—
Finn doesn't let Kurt finish before he hugs him with one arm, waiting until Kurt hesitantly returns the hug before he breaks it.
"It's great to see you Kurt, I'm so glad you could make it here from San Francisco," Finn says as they begin walking toward the car.
"Well, actually…" Kurt starts tentatively, a small smile on his face. "I left Stanford last semester."
"What?" Finn asks in disbelief. "Why? I thought things were going so well."
"They were, but you know sometimes plans change, San Francisco's great but there's still so much world to see, and me and Blaine thought we'd give New York a try for a while."
"New York," Finn says, his voice a bit distant, because he couldn't hear those two words without automatically thinking of her.
"Besides, I know Rachel Berry seems tough but she couldn't have been more transparent about me switching colleges so we could get a place out there together. Me and Blaine start the New York Academy for The Dramatic Arts in September."
He can't help the small smile that reaches his lips at Kurt's words, Kurt and Rachel were never particularly close before, but he supposes going through what they all went through together had a way of bonding people.
"How is she?" Finn says darkly.
"Haven't you been writing back and forth nonstop for the past two years?" Kurt asks. "I must have gotten at least 100 letters from her during my time at Stanford."
"Well of course we wrote each other, but that's not the same as being able to see her Kurt, you've seen her a lot more recently than I have, how is she, I mean really?"
"Why don't you see for yourself?" Kurt says with a smirk as they approach his car, and Finn stops immediately in his tracks as he sees her emerge from the car. He can't speak, he can't move, he can only stare. She's somehow more beautiful than he remembered, her hair is a bit shorter, and done up in loose waves, and he knows he's never seen that curve-hugging blue dress before, but she's still Rachel, which becomes immediately apparent when her face breaks out into an ear to ear smile at the sight of him.
"Rachel," he says in almost a whisper. "I was going to come to your house I was—
She cuts him off, cupping his face in her hands and dragging her mouth across his cheek in quick, firm kisses until she lands on his mouth, and he wishes more than anything that he could hold her tight with both arms, but he settles for bringing her in closer with one, letting her rest her small hand gently on his injured shoulder.
"Why are you crying honey bear?" he says softly as he looks at her face, streaked with tears.
"Because," she responds, her voice strained. "I just missed you so much. I know you were going to come to the house but I just couldn't wait that long."
"I'm glad you didn't," he says and he kisses her again.
"Okay lovebirds, times a wastin'" Kurt says, breaking them out of their amorous trance. "If I don't bring you home this minute mom and dad are going to throw a fit, lets go."
He obliges, taking Rachel's hand in his as they head into the car.
Seeing everyone again, it's easy for Finn to get used to being back in Lima, after greeting Burt and Carole and enduring their barrage of questions and Carole's insistence that he have seconds and thirds of his favorite dish, and having to tell her not to cry at least three times, he feels home again, especially with Rachel there beside him, even if she does seem a bit distant, he supposes that's to be expected after so long, they just need to get used to each other again, he'll spend the rest of his life getting used to Rachel Berry again if she'll have him. He was always the lost boy, always the one without a place in the world to call home, but upon returning from two long years fighting for his country overseas, it becomes easy to see that he had one all along, in Burt and Carole, in Kurt and especially in Rachel. It just took him a little bit longer to find it than usual. He doesn't want to leave them again at the end of the night, especially not Carole, who once again makes him feel more loved than any real mother ever could, but he promises to return after walking Rachel home, and to tell the honest truth he yearns to be alone with her for awhile, it's been so long. She doesn't talk much on the way to her house, but she squeezes his hand tightly, maybe even more tightly than before.
It looks different, he notices, the color has been changed from bright yellow to salmon, and the garden is different too, but the tree house is the same, and he wishes his shoulder wasn't in such poor shape so they could go up there together like old times, but he supposes it will still be there when he's healed, and since rumor has it Hiram ran away with the dashing gardener after the divorce (a rumor Rachel herself confirmed to be true in her letters) and Shelby is out of the house for the day, he supposes Rachel's room will do just fine for now.
He can barely wait to get to her room, planting firm kisses along her shoulder and neck from behind as they climb the stairs, hearing her giggle through her weak protests.
"Finn that's hardly appropriate behavior for a decorated military man such as yourself." She teases, and he's happy to make her laugh after tonight, with her seeming so withdrawn for most of it.
"I haven't seen you in two years, to hell with appropriate, he says, sliding off her cardigan and continuing to attack her soft skin with kisses as they enter her bedroom. She spins around in his arms then, facing him, her eyes wide with something that vaguely resembles worry.
"You know, we don't have to do this, I mean after last time—
She cuts Finn off, placing her finger against his lips.
"I want to," she says quietly. "It's just…"
"What's the matter sweetheart?" he says, brushing his knuckles along her cheek.
"There's something I didn't tell you," she says, tears springing to her eyes again. "Sit down."
He obeys, sitting on the edge of her bed, his mind fraught with worry, he's been gone for two years, all matters of things could have happened in two years, he just hoped to god it wasn't another guy, it wasn't another guy was it? No, it couldn't be, they only had eyes for each other, it's what they always said.
"After you left, I started having some problems, I kept falling ill and I was in and out of hospitals for months, and nobody knew what was wrong," she's crying again, the only words he comes away with are 'in and out of hospitals for months' and this can't be happening, he thinks to himself, Rachel couldn't have been sick, what happened with the baby was just something that happened sometimes. "It wasn't the baby, there were problems before I got pregnant I just didn't know about them, it's why I lost it."
"Are you…" he trails off, swallowing the lump in his throat before he can continue. "I mean is everything okay now? Are you better?"
"I am," she says, nodding. "Right as rain I promise," he breathes a sigh of relief then, but he knows there's more to it than that by the look on her face. "Tell me what's wrong then baby, please."
"Getting better came at a cost Finn," she says, her voice choked. "It was a procedure they had to do to make me well again."
"What kind of procedure?" he says, his voice faraway.
She doesn't speak, instead she reaches to the back of her dress, sliding her zipper down and wriggling out of it, and she reaches for her underwear next, pulling them down a little to expose a deep scar on her abdomen. He doesn't know what to make of it, what she's even saying right now.
"I'm empty inside Finn," she cries. "That was the price, you fell in love with a broken woman."
She dissolves into tears and all he can do is reach out for her, pulling her half naked body into his lap.
"Shh, you stop that right now," he says, his own voice thick with tears. "You're not broken, don't ever say that."
"But it's true, and I knew it the moment I lost the baby I just didn't want to believe it."
"How could you not tell me this Rachel?" he says, not angrily. "All those letters, you never said anything, why?"
"I just needed you to be strong while you were over there, I needed you to believe you were coming home to a world of possibilities," she explains. "Not this, not me and my broken family and my broken body."
"Stop, just stop it," he insists, still rocking her and kissing her firmly on the forehead. "Nothing could ever make me not want to come home to you, ever."
"Even this?" she says. "There's no future with me anymore, it's all my mother ever says, I mean she doesn't say it but the implication is there, who would ever want me now?"
"Your mother is wrong, I'll always want you, always."
"Do you promise? I mean I know that's what you said before, but that was when the possibility of me never having children was just a possibility, it's a certainty now Finn. Can you really accept that, can you really accept me?"
He goes quiet at her question, all he's ever really wanted was a family, to marry Rachel and have a bunch of little rugrats that looked just like her, that would never happen and the thought of it choked him up, but not as much as the thought of having children with anyone else. It was Rachel or nobody. That was never clearer than now.
"Marry me," he whispers softly into her ear after a few silent moments.
"What?" she says, drawing back a bit, looking into his eyes for signs of uncertainty, finding none.
"You heard me," he says confidently. "I'm asking you to marry me and I'm not going to take no for an answer Rachel Berry, I won't take your excuses or your reservations, I will be your husband if it's the last thing I ever do, and we'll go to New York together and you're going to be famous and—
"We'll adopt," she says ponderously, cutting in. "We'll adopt a child just like you, who needs a home, who needs our love."
"Yeah," he says, liking the idea immediately. "When we're ready, we'll adopt and we'll love that baby just like it was our own, will you do that with me Rachel?"
"Yes," she says as the sadness on her face finally begins to melt away and she leans into him, careful not to hurt his shoulder. "Yes, I will."
Five years later
Dear Santana,
I hope that you and Quinn are doing well. I'm looking forward to visiting when Finn and I return from Oregon, I can't imagine the trip will take long, once we finish the final paperwork we can finally take little Benjamin home to New York. Father and LeRoy can't wait to meet him, they've painted up his room so nicely, and even my mother seems happy all things considered, and Burt and Carole won't stop sending baby clothes and toys, it's all very exciting. And I must also thank you for the rattle you sent as well, little Ben will be a fine musician just like his parents, I'm sure of it. I've only met our son twice but I've already fallen in love with him so completely, although I can't help but feel sad for the poor girl that will never get to know him, she makes me think of Quinn, andI wonder sometimes if she ever still thinks of little Beth. I suppose it's for the best though, this girl needn't fear that Ben won't be loved and taken care of as if he were our own. I already feel like he is. Anyway, I feel I ought to wrap this up, there is much to do, but I wish you and Quinn all the best.
Sincerely,
Rachel Hudson.
As she finishes the letter to Santana she goes over it again, thinking how amazing it is that they've managed to keep in touch all this time. She supposes writing to Santana is a reminder of that time all those years ago when Rachel's future was still so uncertain, a reminder to be thankful for all of the good that has come to her in the passing years. She supposes that's why Quinn and Santana continue to cling to each other. Quinn isn't like Santana, or Kurt and Blaine or her fathers, not really, but she loves Santana all the same, and Rachel thinks that maybe they were meant to find each other, when it came down to it they were both too damaged for anyone else. And when Quinn had her baby it was Santana, not her parents, who was her shoulder to cry on, so when it came time to leave the school it was no surprise that they left together, never truly sure whether they were the best of friends or something more, but not really needing to know.
She replaces the cap on her pen and folds the letter, tucking it in the envelope.
"Rachel, it's time to get a move on!" Finn calls from outside, honking his horn. She can tell that he's excited, excited and nervous. The truth was they had become parents the second they received the call from St. McKinley's, but it feels so much more real now. This time when they come back home, they're coming back with their son.
She was only here for a short time, but something about this place has stuck with Rachel, and the moment she knew they were ready to adopt her mind immediately went to the school. Very little has changed since the short time she spent at St. McKinley's, same stone walls and tall trees, same iron gate that opened for no one but potential students, or in their case adopting couples. He squeezes her hand as they enter the school grounds, and Rachel swallows hard as she see's headmistress Sylvester there, in the same position atop the stairs as last time, seven years older but no worse for the wear.
"Well well well, right on time. Good to see your troublemaking days are over," Headmistress Sylvester says icily. "Hello again Mr. Hudson."
"Hello Headmistress, nice seeing you again," Finn says with a nervous smile.
"Right this way," she says, her tone still colder than December.
It's only been a few weeks since they've seen him last, but they wonder to themselves if he's grown at all, or if he's smiling yet, or what they'll possibly do with themselves when they finally take him home, it almost feels wrong that they had to wait all this time, but when they enter the small room where he awaits they think it was beyond worth waiting for.
They don't address Marley right away as she holds their son in her arms, cooing softly to the tiny infant. They both thank god for Marley, as a teacher at St. McKinley's she was instrumental in convincing Headmistress Sylvester to recommend them, god knows it wasn't easy for the state of Oregon to fully trust an orphan and a former pregnant teenager with a child, no matter how much they had grown into their adult lives and respected careers as a stage actress and a high school teacher, but none of that mattered now as they entered the room.
"Hi," Marley beams as they go to hug her, the baby between them. 'So happy you finally made it."
"We couldn't wait another second," Rachel says, her eyes fixed on the tiny baby in Marley's arms. "And it's so good to see you again Mrs. Puckerman."
"Why so formal? You can call me Marley."
"I know, I just really like the sound of Mrs. Puckerman." Rachel says sweetly.
"So do I," Marley says dreamily. "But god, where are my manners, here, do you want to hold him?" she continues, passing the baby over to Finn, who still looks ever so anxious about holding his son, even though it isn't the first time, but as the baby settles in his arms his slightly panicked look melts into a warm smile.
"Hey handsome," Finn says softly as the baby looks up at him with an expression that can only be described as fascinated. "Hey little man, are you ready to come home now?"
"I'd say he is," Rachel says, letting Benjamin wrap his little fist around her finger.
"It's like he loves you guys already," Marley says sweetly.
"The feeling is mutual," Rachel says, wiping at her eyes.
"Did you hear that kiddo," Finn says, his own voice breaking. "We both love you so much."
"So, so much," Rachel agrees, snuggling in closer to Finn and giving Benjamin a soft kiss on the forehead. "And we always will."
That's all folks!
