Lord McLean: My daddy was a miner

So he wasn't much around

Foraging for diamonds

A life spent underground

Daddy didn't talk much

He barely said hello

He simply muttered, 'hi-ho'

And off to work he'd go

Daddy was grumpy

My mama was a princess who left her crown behind

Daddy was her true love so mama didn't mind

I never knew my mama, but she could've been a queen

She married way beneath her

Beneath her knee, I mean

Daddy's bed was lumpy, so mommy couldn't sleep

Daddy built a new one, so tall and so steep

Twenty-five mattresses she slept upon

One night, she rolled over...

...and mama was gone

So daddy was grumpy

Me and my old man

A tale as old as dirt

A bitter, distant father in a tiny undershirt

Daddy up and left me, left me good as dead

Now he lives in Squalor

Sleeping seven to a bid

"You abandoned me in the woods, daddy. Well, I crawled out. And up! Oh, if you could only see me now, daddy. I'd invite you to the wedding, but you have to be this tall to get in!"

He laughed wickedly.

My bride-to-be is gorgeous

Her wedding dress designer

The guest list will be major, without a minor miner

Chorus: La la la la la la la la la la la la la

Lord McLean: Packs of royal lackeys playing violin

Chorus: Strings of royal underlings

Lord McLean: Who will not let you in!

Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!

Tricked out carriage!

Chorus: Tricked out carriage!

Lord McLean: Twenty stallions!

Chorus: Twenty stallions!

Lord McLean: With a coachman named Raoul!

Chorus: With a coachman named Raoul!

Lord McLean: Big reception!

Chorus: Bid reception!

Lord McLean: With a boyband!

Chorus: With a boyband!

Lord McLean: With a royal DJ by the pool!

Yes!

I can see my future!

And so it shall be done!

It's total domination with some torture just for fun

'Cause I will have my wedding

And I will have a queen!

Once I get that crown on you, we'll get the guillotine!

And I'll punish you, daddy, 'cause I'm all grown up

And bigger than you'll ever know!

You're gonna pay, daddy!

It's any day, daddy!

I'm off to work!

Hi-ho!