Hi all, I apologise for the delay in getting this chapter to you but real life has been hectic. A couple of things, if you haven't read the one shot I posted Room 805, check it out, if you did and were one of the people asking for more, I may be able to give you another chapter once I figure out where to take it.
Also I'm heading on vacation until mid August so there won't be any updates for the next six weeks however I will try to continue writing when/if I have the time so you're not waiting too long when I return.
Thank you for all your support and lovely reviews. Until then Laters.
Chapter 12
Ana
This past week has flown by, work has been keeping me busy while I try to find some time to write in the evenings, I've called my parents to check up on them where unfortunately the conversations left me feeling down, I could hear the unhappiness in their voices, they're frustrating me and it's time I got them to stop being so stubborn and fix things. Both Mia and Christian have been so happy to have Elliot home they mention him at least three times a day, it's great and funny to see their dynamic when all three of them are together, they really care for each other and being around them makes me miss Drew even more. He would definitely get a kick out of Elliot's jokes.
The other day when Christian showed up at my apartment and laid some home truths on me it sucked, because he was right but I didn't want him to be right, I wanted to continue in my bubble of sorrow and denial where it was safe, then as he was walking away I saw any chance of a happy future walking away with him and I had to stop him from leaving. I watched him as he slept in my bed, my heart did this squeezing thing it had never done before and all I could think was he's so kind and sweet and I have no idea what he sees in me to put up with my crazy ass but he's still here. Don't screw this up Ana, you won't find another one like him.
He's been busy with work this week staying late at the office, I brought dinner over to him on Wednesday night in order to get him to take a break and eat as he was working back again. It was nothing special just some home-made spaghetti but he insisted it was the best he'd ever had. He's a liar but a cute one so I let it slide. I sat there in his office as he worked and told me about the gaming convention which is coming up very soon, he's so excited about it, I love seeing his passion for something that means so much to him.
Early Sunday morning Christian is driving us out of the city. The only thing he told me was to dress comfortably, so here I am in jeans, converse and white t-shirt for our early morning date. I barely had time to finish my coffee before he was knocking on my door.
The sound of Ed Sheeran singing about bloodstreams is playing through the car speakers, I hum along as I wonder what he's planned for us.
"Are you going to tell me where we're going?"
"It's a surprise. You'll find our soon enough." He grins.
I huff and turn to look at the speeding scenery out my window.
"This is something I used to love doing as a teenager, I haven't been back here in years. It will be fun." He continues.
I smile over the fact he's sharing a part of his past with me. I can be patient then I suppose.
We're surrounded by tall trees as he slows down and eventually turns off the road past a massive sign screaming Bellevue Zip Tour.
"Ziplining?"
"Yep."
"Oh my gosh." I bounce in my seat.
"Ever been?"
"No, but I've always wanted to try it."
We check in and have to sit and listen through the safety talk first before we're allowed out on the course, I'm just eager to get out there. We finally get geared out with harnesses and bright orange helmets then we're climbing up a large wooden ladder to a platform up in the trees and getting hooked up to the lines. Holy crap we're so high up. I never thought I had a fear of heights but being up in the trees is scary. I don't want to look down and I have a death grip on my rope just in case. Christian is close behind me that when I take a step back from the edge I bump into him and jump in fear.
"We're so high up." I state the obvious.
A large black bird flies across scaring the crap out of me and causing me to yell out.
"It's just a little bird scaredy cat." He laughs at me.
"I hope it comes back and shits on you." I turn and glare at him.
"They say it's good luck." He shrugs his shoulders without a care.
I grip my rope tightly and let out a deep breath.
"I don't think I can do this."
"Yes you can. I'm right here next to you." His line runs parallel to mine so we can go at the same time.
"If I fall to my death you need to make sure Mia gets my black leather jacket, she's always loved it and don't let anyone read my journal." Great time to be making your last wishes known Ana.
"You will be fine, peaches." He gives me a kiss, a smack to the ass and pushes me off.
I scream at the initial jolt and feel of falling but then I'm flying, speeding along the path up in the sky, it's exhilarating and I feel free, like nothing can bother me way up here, it's such a thrilling feeling and it's so much fun, not to mention the breathtaking views around me. I turn my head over to my left and see Christina beside me with a big grin as he flies through the air. He reaches a hand over to me.
"See, it's not so scary." He yells.
I begin to slow down and reach the platform on the other end. My heart is racing from the adrenaline rush and I can't keep still. When Christian lands I jump on him laughing once he's steady on his feet.
"Oh my God, that was so awesome, let's do it again."
"Okay, but first."
He pulls out his cell phone and takes a selfie of the two of us. We look ridiculous in the helmets but my eyes are sparkling and I look happy and it's all due to him. I turn and kiss him holding onto his face. How was I lucky enough to find him? Oh I know, he ran me over. I giggle at the thought.
"Thank you for bringing me here to today."
"You're very welcome." He kisses me once more before climbing down. "Come on, the next run is even higher."
"WHAT?" He's joking right?
We take another two runs, which were not higher up thank goodness before heading out for lunch at a nearby café with massive burgers full of sauce and large milkshakes. I don't think I have ever gone through so many napkins while eating and Christian was just as bad. We couldn't stop laughing throughout our meal. Today has really been an incredible and memorable day.
In the afternoon as we head back home for some reason we end up stopped in the middle of the deserted car park of Grey House. It's so eerily quiet with the buzzing and flashing of the florescent lighting.
"What are we doing? Do you need to do something for work?"
"Just humour me okay."
He gets out of the car, walks around to help me out as well, takes my hand and then leads me over to the driver's side guiding me into the seat before shutting the door. What the hell?
I watch him walk back around, once he climbs into the passenger seat he cautiously turns towards me.
"Why have we swapped?"
"You're going to drive."
I start to shake my head. No, I can't do this, images of the crash begin to flash in my mind. With those four words you're going to drive my entire body stiffens.
"Christian, please don't make me do this." I say softly, pleading. I just can't.
"Look at me."
He cradles my face in his warm hands, his eyes showing compassion as they bore into my scared ones.
I begin to shake with panic setting in quickly.
"I don't want this to ruin the great day we've had so far and I'm not going to force you to do this if you really don't want to, but are you not ever going to drive again, what about the future, what about if you ever have kids, are you never going to drive them around, what are you going to do? You know this is something you need to overcome to keep moving forward."
"Marry a rich husband with a chauffeur." I joke even though he has a point.
"Be serious, Ana. Just give it a shot and try."
Try. Easy for him to say.
"You can't stay afraid forever, I brought you here because no one is around, you're safe. I won't let anything happen. Just start the car, you don't have to do anything else. Just start it."
I move back and lean against the seat turning the key, I feel the vibration through my seat. Okay, the car is on. He's right of course, I do need to be able to move past this.
"Good, when you're ready you know what to do next. There's a foot brake on the left hand side." He gently guides me, not rushing me.
After a minute of just sitting there I swallow down my nerves and put the car in drive, I lift my foot off the brake and feel us roll forward slowly, my grip tight on the steering wheel, I travel about ten metres before stopping. With shaky hands I put it back in park and shift in the seat.
"I appreciate you trying to help me, I know you only want to help, but I…I'm not quite there yet. Baby steps? Maybe we can try again later perhaps once I've had more time to prepare myself."
"Okay, you just need to talk to me. Whenever you want to try again just tell me. I'm sorry for just springing this on you I thought it seemed like a good idea."
I lean over the console and awkwardly hug him to me. His arms wrap around my waist.
"It was a good idea." I assure him. Had we been on a road I would certainly have freaked out even more.
"Let me take you home. The fact you rolled my car with stalling it is pretty impressive though."
I laugh at him and like that the tension starts to disappear. As he gets back behind the wheel I stare at him the entire drive back taking note of his strong jaw, straight nose, pink lips, five o'clock shadow growth, the scent of his cologne and of course my body naturally reacts to his proximity, aware the many ways it can make it feel pleasure, I shift and press my thighs together in the seat.
"Stop staring."
"No, I don't think so."
"It's distracting."
"I can sing instead if you like."
"Nope, keep staring."
We're both grinning like idiots when he pulls up outside my building, parks the car and turns to me. He reaches for my face, brings it closer to his own and begins to kiss me deeply, our tongues dancing together, a type of kiss that would make me weak in the knees if I wasn't already seated, our tongues.
"Thank you again for today. I had fun." I say when we finally break free.
"So did I." He smiles.
"Are you coming in?"
"Absolutely." He replies without hesitation.
Walking into the apartment building hand in hand we encounter Laura and Buddy heading out.
"Well look at the two of you." She grins as if she knows something we don't.
"Hi, Laura."
"Ma'am."
"You two lovebirds keep it down now. Last time poor Buddy kept barking at the door thinking someone was in trouble." She winks as she walks away.
I feel my face redden and burn with embarrassment while Christian lets out a loud belly laugh. Oh God, I can never face her again.
Christian
I'm in my office reading over some profit reports accounting has sent over when Andrea buzzes to let me know my mother is here. I greet her with a kiss to the kiss as she steps in. She's dressed in jeans and a blouse which is very rare for my mother to be so causal so she obviously isn't headed anywhere else in the city.
"What are you doing here?"
"I just had lunch with Mia and stopped by to see you, are you busy?"
"Always."
We take a seat on the white leather lounge and chat briefly about Lilly and her father's treatment. I should make time to pay him a visit.
"There was one other thing I needed to talk to you about." She gives me a fake smile to put me at ease I'm guessing.
She looks at me then away across the room then at her hands in her lap which are gripped tightly together. She's nervous. What does she have to be nervous about?
"Okay but from the way you're acting right now do I even want to know what it is?"
"Maybe not." Her smile changes from fake to sad to being non-existent. "There's no easy way for me say it so please just hear me out."
"Mom, you can tell me anything." I move closer to her and place my hand over hers.
"You know we love you and would do anything to make you and your siblings happy. I hope you can understand why we kept this from you."
"Kept what from me?" What is she talking about?
"When you were ten years old, your biological father came to Seattle, he wanted to see you. Your father and I weren't sure if that would be a good idea however we sat you down and asked you if you wanted to see or talk to him at all in the future, we didn't mention that he was in the city, I don't know if you remember that conversation at all. You got so angry, Christian, full of hate towards him, you started yelling at us, saying you didn't want to hear of it so we sent him away, he understood and stayed away until now. Over time we didn't know how to bring it up or if you even had any interest I knowing him, you never asked us any questions about him, so we kept quiet, but now that he's made contact with you, well things are different."
I sit back flabbergasted, shocked, angry, about a hundred emotions running through me fighting for dominance.
"You waited twenty years to tell me this." I hiss. My teeth are clenched in anger. I let go of her hand and move away.
"I'm sorry, I am but we did what we thought was best for you. Have you not been happy with us?"
Did she really ask me that?
"You think this is about having a happy life. You know I've been happy with you. No, this is about you keeping such a secret from me. An important one. You've lied to me for more than half my life, how could you? As far as I knew he abandoned my mother and I, now you tell me he came back." My voice rises with each word said.
I have no idea who the woman before me right now is. Growing up she and Carrick constantly and repeatedly instilled the value of honesty in us. Hypocrites the both of them.
"I understand you're upset but try to see it from our point of view, we were protecting you too."
"From what exactly? Having a relationship with my real father? How can I trust you?" I shake my head in disbelief. I can't sit still I stand and start to pace the room.
"You have a point however there is no way we can turn back the clock and do thing differently. Christian, you can be as mad as you want but at the end of the day we made a decision as your parents, I'm sorry we waited so long to tell you but you can't hate us for it. Please try to understand how difficult it's been for us too, questioning if we did the right thing." She appears devastated but I can't bring myself to care in this moment as tears fall down her cheeks.
"Don't hate you? And no I don't have to understand anything. You could have tried again, hell when I was 18 would have been a good time and let me decide for myself if I wanted to meet the man, now I've been blindsided by both sides. I think you should leave."
My head is pounding, there are so many thoughts running through my brain I feel as if it might explode. This is too much to process, I need to be alone.
"Very well, I'll go for now but we still need to talk, you can't shut us out. Just remember that I love you."
I watch her leave with her head down softly closing the door behind her. The woman who has been a mother to me since I was five years old, who took me in and held me while I cried out for my dead mother, who promised that everything would be okay and patched up my cuts and bruises, the woman who has knowingly lied to me for so fucking long. I have a surge of anger that runs through my body and the next thing I know I have pushed everything off my desk in a rage practically wrecking the place.
Storming out of my office I'm calling Taylor to bring the car around. I need to get out of here.
"Andrea I'm leaving. I won't be back today." I practically snap at her. "Get someone to clean my office." It's not her fault but unfortunately she's in my line of sight at this moment. I'll apologise to her tomorrow.
I've been in my home gym for the past hour taking my anger out on the punching bag, not that it's helping, I'm still angry and hurt and confused. Sweat is dripping off every inch of my skin, my fists are sore, my throat dry yet I continue to hit it over and over again, the same questions of how could they and what's in that letter running through my mind.
"Hey dude, take it easy, I'm sure the bag didn't do anything to you." I hear my brother's voice say.
"Did you know?" I turn on him, pointing at him with my gloved hand.
"Know what?" He frowns taking a step back.
I sit and collapse on the wall, leaning back on it removing my gloves and throwing them across the room.
"Mom told me my biological father showed up when I was ten."
I explain the whole conversation I had with her earlier today.
"Fuck, you're shitting me."
"I wish I was."
"Wow, so what are you going to do?"
"Nothing, something, I have no fucking clue. I feel betrayed by all of them. He may have been a selfish asshole but it wasn't up to them to lie to me for so long."
El leaves the gym to only returning carrying two beers. He hands me one and takes his spot next to me against the wall. We sit there in silence sipping our beers both lost in thought until my brother clears his throat, he's playing with the label of his beer, slowly peeling it off.
"Listen, this may not be the best time to bring it up but I want to go visit the cemetery, I haven't been for a while, I think it's time I went, will you come with me?" He doesn't look at me as he asks.
I place my arm around his shoulder, pulling him against me. He's had to deal with some tough shit too.
"Of course, whatever you need I'm here."
"Thanks man. I'm gonna head out, you good, do you need anything?"
All I can think is Ana, she'll probably be able to help me sort through the shit in my head. I should call her.
"No, I'm good man, you can go."
I watch him walk away once again so grateful we got him home in one piece and that he seems to be doing better. Me on the other hand, will I be able to forgive my parents for hiding this and lying to me for so long, probably, eventually, but I won't ever forget the initial feeling of betrayal that washed over me. Why does everything have to be so fucking complicated?
I get my ass off the floor, shower, dress and decide to head over to the Seattle Times offices to wait for Ana outside when she finishes work. I finally see her exiting with whom I assume is a colleague she's chatting to, she's dressed in her simple grey pants and black shirt but still manages to look amazing without even trying. She turns her head spying me at the curb resting against my car. She says her good byes and heads over to me with a large smile, which I notice slip as she gets closer, certain she can see the pain in my eyes.
"What's wrong?" She breathes the question onto my neck as her arms go around it.
"Everything." I tell her as I pull her close to me.
Forty five minutes later Ana and I are on my couch, me having spilled out the bomb my mother dropped on me to her. Her legs straddle my body while my fingers toy with the buttons of her shirt. Her fingers drag through my hair, back and forth comforting me. My body is tense over having to retell the story once more.
"Wow, I don't know what to say."
"I keep thinking, he came when I was ten, why didn't he come again when I was older or write to me before now. Where was he when my mom died? What did they actually tell him to make him stay away for the next twenty years? Twenty years, Ana."
"I don't know, only your parents and he can answer that question. Do you know his name?"
"Nicholas Harvey, it's on the back of the only photo my mother had of the three of us after I was born."
"Your parents are good people, they love you, and I think this situation has been hard on them too, it can't be easy keeping something this heavy for so long, perhaps they were afraid they were going to lose you."
"Don't make excuses for them, Anastasia."
I move her off my lap and stand up.
"I'm not making excuses for them but trying to understand it from their side. There is always more than one side to a story."
"Well I don't particularly want to."
"I think you should go and talk to them both, ask them exactly what it is you want to know."
"No. I'm too mad and you're supposed to be on my side here." I say a little more sharply than I intended to.
She lets out a deep sigh.
"I don't want to fight with you, Christian and there are no sides to pick here. This will only hurt your family in the long run if you can't see a way past it. It might be best if I go. Can Taylor take me home?" She stands up grabbing her bag off the coffee table where she left it.
I hang my head feeling like a jerk for making her want to leave, I'm the one who brought her here, unloaded all my crap on her wanting to hear her opinion and I act like a chid because I don't like what she has to say. I take her bag away from her, tossing it onto the couch and gathering her into my arms. I let put a deep breathe of relief when she hugs me back.
"I'm sorry, please stay. We can order in and watch a movie if you want, I just want to forget the last few hours." I think she's going to argue but only nods in agreement.
"Okay, but I'm picking the movie." She raises an eyebrow at me.
"As long as it doesn't have Ryan Gosling in it I'm good."
"Not making any promises."
She heads away from me towards the cinema room and my eyes follow her ass. I'm falling fast and deep for this girl even though she drives me mad sometimes however she's right, I don't want to hurt and tear apart the only family I have ever known. I need to find a way to be able to move forward without being angry and to understand, starting with reading that damn letter.
A/N: Let me know what you thought. Who does Elliot want to visit at the cemetery? Don't think it's what any of you would expect. Next chapter the gang will be heading to Vegas. What trouble could they get into?
