"Yes, I deserve a spring–I owe nobody nothing."
― Virginia Woolf, A Writer's Diary
It was the day before Thanksgiving and this was the 3rd time the topic came up. I thought it was the most absurd idea. I shouldn't have to state why.
"My parents would like to meet you."
"What for?"
"Really, Michonne?"
"When?" I tried to gauge if there was a divorce somewhere on the horizon. And still it may take a year or two to show my face around his extended family in any capacity.
"Whenever. My Dad has said as much. My Mom would love to meet you. Thanksgiving is around the corner."
"Definitely not stepping foot over there on Thanksgiving while you are still married, Rick. I am not going to put myself in a situation, knowingly, with your wife across the table ready to insult me, my intelligence, nor have to bite my tongue in return."
"I agree. I distinctly remember the last back, and forth you had with my wife about the only reason you and I slept together. The only reason."
"Oh my God, are you still pissed off about that?"
"You only wanted to fuck me?"
Rick was still upset over something I had said months ago. My words were looping on repeat in his head. I received a random call made to my home, in the middle of the night. Lori had me on speaker phone. Her questions were the usual why, when, what, where, and how?
The question was posed by Lori. I was annoyed. I answered without much thought to the words I chose to echo in his mental chamber.
"Are you in love with my husband?"
"No. I just wanted to fuck him."
I could hear Rick telling Lori to hang up.
(Click)
"Do you mind if I buy you a drink?"
I knew his voice. I didn't need to turn. He had a distinctly sophisticated country twang to some of his words when he spoke. His tone was what kept me on my toes. My eyes enjoyed when he donned a suit, he was a man with impeccable taste in what he wore. He was also someone I had started back to sleeping with on a consistent basis and I hated myself for it.
I was anticipating his arrival with a degree of feigned indifference which he had become accustomed due to our history. His name was Richard Sinclaire Grimes who I deemed the most handsome man when gazing in his eyes. He was the Chief Officer of Go Stop as of two years ago.
This was the first time Dr. Deanna actually heard Michonne name who she was having an affair with. It was confirmation there was a link between the two couples she had highly suspected. She listened on to what was of significance to her patient even though the doctor questioned if there were any other men in her life at any point in time.
What most people knew or were aware of, was that he was a highly successful businessman with a wife named Lori and two young children close in age: Carl who was 5yrs old and Judith who had recently turned four. His official anniversary was in two days which would typically be spent with his legal spouse somewhere in the Hamptons or where I imagined high up in the Colorado Mountains in a cabin that was recently built and where we had some of the most amazing sex.
I held my brightly colored Cosmopolitan paying close attention to how the overhanging light from the bar illuminated the glass stem and also highlighted my ten-carat diamond engagement ring.
"I see you are still wearing it," Rick commented dryly.
"I am."
Rick sat next to me at the bar. His attention was on the different bottles of alcohol lined up behind the bartender who pretended to not give much notice to us being the only two sitting there until Rick tossed his drink back and was ready for a refill.
"I'm confused about some things."
"Certainly not about the ring on my finger. It is what engaged people wear when someone has asked to marry them."
"Explain to me what we were doing in his penthouse on the balcony just two days ago?"
"You were taking advantage of my situation. Still doesn't change anything."
"I told you, I love you."
"Okay." I shrugged. I found his declaration meaningless at this point.
"I refuse to believe we don't have something between us despite what you told my wife."
"I told your wife the absolute truth, I only wanted to fuck you. It was all it was two days ago on the balcony. The few times at my house in Atlanta. My townhouse in DC. The few times at the house you purchased for me- A- fact you like to remind me of when you can't get your way. Now where was I...a year after the twins were born we had a thing in Paris that jumpstarted but we can't forget Spain before you hee-hawed down the aisle. Oh, and upstairs in a Frat house."
"I must be the best fuck you ever had."
"You have a solid track record." I smirked.
"He's white."
"Who?"
"Abigail and Jasmine's, Dad. I had never seen the color drain so fast from his face."
Dr. Deanna was slightly confused on how the events were lining up.
I was having one of many nervous breakdowns. He was present for most of them. After one swift kick he was inside, pissed. I was in the kitchen. He found me there holding a carving knife for the turkey I had prepared many hours earlier thinking he would spend a portion of that time with me once he brought our girls home. I was crying and carving slices and it was way after 2am.
"Is this what I deserve, Rick?"
"No, Michonne."
