„Hikari" by GreatMarta
Episode 12: Hidden in the night
As Jack and Helen lay down in their bed, both know sleep won't come soon. Tonight, the air in their bedroom seems to be falling on them like a black curtain, bringing a fog of numbness and sorrow. Even the roof is shaking lazily, like a drunk man.
Then again, they might be the ones who got drunk. Drunk with someone else's secret.
"He is dying" Helen stated. It was almost a whisper, as if she was afraid of reveling the truth about Tsutomu's health. This man, whom they thought to be a brute and tyrant, who turned out to be suffering from a lethal disease.
"That tumor on his lung…" Jack said, barely moving his lips "It's huge"
"I haven't felt this much pain since the Elemental" Helen added. Jack might've seen Tsutomu's lungs with all their horrible content, but she has read his mind. She knew his hopes, fears, regrets. And those won't give her relief. Especially the final one "He wants to commit suicide"
Jack moved slightly, troubled by the information.
"When?" he asked. This was the key information.
"When the pain is too bad to bare" Helen explained "He wasn't sure how long he will be able to endure it, but he assumed two months at best"
Jack sighed. If he had cancer, he'd take any chance to cure it. There were so many possibilities. Chemotherapy. Irradiation. Implantation. Amputation. But that tumor was so big… probably too big to be removed just like that. And probably it has grown on other organs, not only the lungs. And, most probably, Tsutomu has already consulted numerous doctors about it and he simply knew there was no hope for him.
As painful as it was, Jack had to admit: if he knew he was going to die, he'd rather die quickly. Waiting for death would be too much to handle.
"Poor man…" Jack said "Poor Kari"
"He doesn't want to tell her" Helen felt pity for the young woman, who remained unaware of her father's critical condition "Oh, Jack, she has the right to know"
"Yes, she does" Jack agreed "But I think it will be better if she doesn't know. This knowledge will bring her nothing but pain. And her pain will only add to Tsutomu's pain. It would make the situation worse than it already is"
"That's what Tsutomu thinks" Helen confirmed "He doesn't want Hikari to mourn him before he dies. He believes it's the least mercy he can show her" she stopped for a while, remembering the Japanese man's feelings. How he wanted to protect his daughter. To make sure she will manage after he's gone. She was his dearest, most precious person, one thing that kept him from stabbing a sword into his gut right away. That Helen could understand very well. She too wanted to guarantee her children a safe and stable future. It was the dream shared by all parents in the world.
Tsutomu won't be able to look after his daughter anymore. He won't see her graduate college. He won't take part in her wedding ceremony. He won't hold his grandchild in his arms. Tsutomu wanted grandchildren. Preferably male. He was going to adopt Hikari's husband, so the Mazaki family had a successor. It was his duty to assure the rightful succession. Now he knew he won't be able to fulfill this duty. He also suspected his father won't accept Hikari's potential husband as the family heir, unless it was somebody he chose for her. So, Tsutomu would rather let his daughter stay in US, away from their conservative family, and take on all the shame that came attached.
Now, having visited Tsutomu's mind, Helen had a better idea of how much the duty to the family meant to him, and how much it hurt him to not fulfill it. But still, Hikari meant more to him than his honor. Despite everything.
Suddenly, Helen found herself crying. She couldn't help it. The pressure on her mind was too great.
Jack has noticed. He pulled his wife closer to himself and she gratefully accepted it. They shared the secret. They were in this together.
But Tsutomu was alone. And that hurt the most.
Meanwhile Bunji was sitting in front of his computer, exploring the content of the Flash Drive he received from Tsutomu. The boy couldn't get the smile of his face as he studied all the wonderful pictures featuring his mother. She was so delicate, so pure. Unbelievably beautiful. If he didn't know that woman was his mother, he'd say she was a model or an actress.
Most pictures also featured his sister. He almost giggled at the chubby baby in his mother's arms. Little Kari was adorable, and so funny. Bunji especially liked one of the pictures, in which his mother was holding Kari in front of Tsutomu's face, and Tsutomu laughed when Kari was reaching out for him with her chubby little arms. The three of them looked really happy together. Just the way a family should look like.
Bunji's good mood decreased slightly, as he realized he doesn't have any pictures of himself with both parents. Naturally, he had pictures of himself and his father, but not even one of his mother. She died shortly after he was born. It hurt Bunji. In this case, he envied his sister.
Suddenly, he got an idea. The earliest picture shows his mother and Tsutomu by his grandmother's bed. Back then, mother was pregnant, so technically Kari is in the picture too. If he only could find a picture in which mother would be pregnant with him. That would qualify as a picture of both of them together.
Filled with new hope, Bunji got down to searching. Fortunately, each picture had its description, including the date of taking. There, just a few months more…
There. Christmas and New Year's Eve 1987. Bunji was born on 5th August 1988.
It seemed that Tsutomu's family didn't celebrate Christmas, but that didn't surprise Bunji – it was a Christian celebration and the majority of Japan professed Shinto – what mattered was the fact, that he could be sure he was there already. In the picture, his mother was caressing Kari, who lay asleep on her lap, and seemed to be caressing her stomach. This touched Bunji. His sister knew he was there. Maybe even before their mother knew. Even at the beginning, they were deeply connected with each other. Like real siblings.
Bunji whipped a tear that came to his eye. That Tsutomu has given him a gift beyond measure.
But still, the greatest was yet to be explored. The visions he shared with his sister. There must be some more left in store. And they were going to check them all out.
Meanwhile Tsutomu swallowed a handful of pills, that were supposed to grant him a good night of sleep. The man groaned, unwillingly touching his chest. With a bit of luck, he'll remain asleep for four hours. The pain will wake him up, no matter how many pills he takes.
He sighed. He still had a couple of minutes before the medicine affects his organism. Now it was time to do, what has to be done.
Tsutomu took a small plastic container he received from the doctor earlier this day. Carefully, yet firmly, he entered the bedroom.
Hikari was laying on her side, hugging the rolled coverlet between her legs. She was sleeping peacefully and Tsutomu knew she won't wake up, provided he does it right.
Hikari had taken a shower before she went to sleep, so her skin was wetted and soft. The heels seemed to be the right choice, as it was easy to rub a full flake of skin from there without causing pain. So, Tsutomu positioned himself next to the bed, placed the container near his daughter's feet and gently rubbed the skin on her heel. The old scarf-skin dropped off without any difficulty. Hikari didn't move an inch. Satisfied, Tsutomu rubbed off some scarf-skin from the other heel. This should be enough for the DNA tests. Relieved with the outcome of his quest, the man closed the container tightly.
Having placed the DNA sample in the pocket of his jacket, Tsutomu returned to the bedroom. He was feeling a little sleepy now, thanks to the pills. Before he lay down, he took the pleasure of observing his daughter a little. So cute. So adorable. This beloved, most perfect being. His statue of blood and flesh.
He came up with many words he could describe he daughter with, but none seemed proper. But then, words mean nothing. Love is expressed through acts. One might tell you he'll do everything for you, but such vows are meaningless, unless backed up with acts. That's what Tsutomu believes in. That's what he wants his daughter to believe in. That's the truth that lead him to this point. It shall lead him till the very end.
In his weakness, Tsutomu lay down next to his daughter and embraced her. He doesn't have much time left, but he will make the best of it.
Drowning in the scent of Hikari, the scent that reminded him of the past two decades, the man unwillingly shed a single tear. That was everything he could allow.
One's death should match his entire life. Tsutomu Mazaki was going to apply this rule to his life.
…………………………………………………………………………………….
Author's Notes: I had a hard time trying to set the plot of B6 into our times, as no official timeline was ever given (correct me if I'm wrong). I've decided, since the plot was supposed to be set in the "near future" and the series was produced in 1987 (it's amazing I like a cartoon that is older than me), I assumed we could safely set the plot at the beginning of the 21st century.
To make it more symbolic, I've decided to appoint the year 1987 as the year of birth for Eric and Meg. So, according to our fandom, JD was born in 1986 and Bunji in 1988. "Hikari" is taking place in Summer 2005.
BTW I've decided to make Bunji a Leo. I think it fits him.
I hope this makes sense.
