DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Host, etc. So, as for this chapter, I'm not going to tell you whose perspective it's from. It might be Jamie, it might be Sky. I'm not giving any clues. I tried to make it as obscure as possible. At least for half the chapter. The rest of it is in Sky's perspective as usual. The beginning is obscure however merely so I can make you wonder about the future. :P
SONG OF THE CHAPTER:
Cancer by My Chemical Romance
"Now turn away, 'cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living and I just hope you know
That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you."
"Put her on the cot."
"Where are the damn bandages?"
"Oh no. Oh what have I done, what have I done?"
"For god's sake will someone shut her up?"
"Sit still!"
"Maybe we should get some duct tape."
"Rags. I need more rags."
"Do we have needles?"
"I'm not sure. Check the supply chest."
"No Pain now."
"Jamie, you've got to let go of her. We have to stop the bleeding."
"He's not the one holding on."
"I killed her. I killed her. I deserve to die."
"SHUT UP!" My sudden outburst shocked everyone. Up until now I had been utterly silent. "No one has died yet." My voice was a glottal hiss beyond the tears. For a long moment everyone stood around us in shock before resuming their work with fervor. Jared and Ian had Carly wrestled to the ground. The dark-eyed woman was crying softly, muttering hysterically about the bullet she'd released from her accursed gun.
"Jamie, you really do need to get off of her. We don't have much time."
"We've got to remove the bullet and stop the bleeding. She looks like ash." Wanda stated as she began to rip up bandages.
"Jamie's not much better." Melanie whispered to Wanda. I hated how they were speaking of us as if we weren't there.
"Where is all our Heal?" Doc grunted furiously. He'd never dealt with a bullet wound without a decent supply of donated blood and an IV. We had neither.
"Here." Wanda calmly handed him the Heal, gesturing to the tower of it she had created.
"I don't even know if this will work for such a large wound. It's deep. Do we have something to take the bullet out with? Tweezers even?" Doc asked. He looked ready to tear his ears off his head.
"What about shrapnel? Did the bullet hit her shoulder blade?" Ian asked a little hesitantly.
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, Ian. For the moment I just want to get that bullet out of her and stop the bleeding." Doc stated harshly as he began to work.
Wanda pulled Melanie aside and away from us. I could catch blips of their conversation. It was fairly easy to piece it all together.
"I doubt Jamie will leave her side tonight." Wanda muttered worriedly, her blonde brows knitting together.
"Not that Sky would allow that if he wanted to. She's got a death grip, that one." Melanie agreed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She sighed, glancing back at us in anxiety.
"She'll be okay. She's strong. She's like you. Maybe stronger." Wanda stated confidently. Her faith didn't waver.
"I've never seen Jamie that scared in my life. He was always so determined not to show his weaknesses. He thought he could brave just about anything with confidence and survive. I thought he could too."
"Me too." Wanda paused, obviously willing away the terrified tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. Melanie hugged her, both seeming to struggle to maintain their panic on our behalves.
"I found a syringe!" Relief was plain on his face. I suspected he was going to create a make-shift IV. He set to work quickly while Wanda moved over and attempted to pat blood away from the two of us. There was blood everywhere. I was surprised no one had fainted yet.
"Alright, here goes nothing." Doc inserted the needle into his own arm and began pumping blood out. I suspected that his blood type was O negative, or else he wouldn't be taking the risk. Soon after he began the blood transfusion and then he went to work removing the bullet. He was afraid that the blood was simply flowing too quickly.
After the bullet was removed, Wanda patched everything up. There was silence for nearly an hour as everyone stood by us, waiting and watching to see whether they had been fast enough, whether the blood would run out. Eventually Doc got to the Heal and though the wound did seem to heal over, the scar left was pulsing red and the bruise would not go away. Heal could only do so much.
It seemed that no one would die today. And that was enough for me. I'd had enough. It was time to leave. I couldn't stay in the caves any longer. We were all still in danger and this had to be solved once and for all. I knew what I had to do. It would take all my willpower to leave, but I had to do it. To save her. To save us all.
s w i t z e r l a n d
"She's waking up, I think."
I felt like I had been dropped off the roof of a three story building. I'd only been shot in my left shoulder, but my entire frame ached as though I'd broken every bone in my body. My fingers felt stiff and my pulse felt sluggish. My limbs creaked with every movement I made and I couldn't breathe very well under the bruise coloring my left side. My eyelids lifted slowly. They felt like lead. The light in the hospital was too bright now and it took a long moment for me to adjust to it.
Jamie sat next to me on the cot, leaning down on my right side. Jared and Melanie were sitting on a cot next to me and Doc was leaning against the wall, a small smile on his face. Wanda sat at the very foot of my cot, relief painted across her face. "Welcome back to life." Melanie joked. "You've been asleep for three days."
"Then why do I still feel exhausted?" I grumbled my voice hoarse. I attempted to push myself into a sitting position but my limbs screamed in protest. My torso thumped back on the bed and I groaned, trying to stifle the pain. I hissed through my teeth, biting my lip against the pain.
"Don't hurt yourself." Jamie half chuckled. He brushed my hair back from my face. It was apparent that someone had washed my hair and changed me. I had a feeling it was Wanda. I'd have to thank her later. He gently lifted my head and pulled the pillow up so that I could lean against it. He pulled me up so that I could sit and talk to everyone, despite that it hurt just to move.
I then noticed a small figure hidden behind Melanie. She sat behind her, peering over Melanie's shoulder. At first, I tensed, unsure how to react to those painfully familiar eyes. When she stood, I could see that it was my sister in there and that she was standing next to the little container that now held Cherry Blossom. "Sky." Carly's lip quivered and before I knew it she was clutching me tightly to her chest. My muscles hated her, but my mind was giddy with relief. We were both crying in seconds. I couldn't control my emotions anymore and no matter how much my entire body was hurting, I was too happy to care.
"I'm so sorry I left you." I cried, burying my nose in her hair.
"Don't be. You did what I told you to. I never wanted anything bad to happen to you. You did so well, little sis. I'm so proud of you." Carly assured me softly, kissing my forehead.
"I missed you so much."
"I know. I missed you too. You don't know what it's like to be locked in there. Or rather, in here."
"You're right, I don't." She pulled away, letting me settle carefully back against the pillow. Her fingertips grazed my cheek and she smiled.
"My brave little Sky."
"I'm not so little anymore."
"No, not anymore. Especially since yesterday was your sixteenth birthday."
"It was?" My eyes went wide. I thought it wasn't for another few weeks, but then again I hadn't really been measuring time that well.
"That it was." She chuckled and patted my hand. "Happy Birthday."
"I didn't know your birthday was coming up." Jamie stated indignantly.
"Apparently I didn't know either." I admitted, noting our laced fingers. I had the feeling I hadn't released him all the time I'd been on the cot.
"We should have a party!" Wanda exclaimed, giggling. I laughed, ignoring the pain in my chest.
"No! No parties." I commanded sternly. It would only call forth more unwanted attention from the masses.
"Aw, come on Sky. We never get to celebrate. It would be an excuse for all of us to get out of yard work for the day." Melanie coaxed. I glared, not wanting to fall under her spell.
"No. I can't stand parties. I didn't like them when I was five, I don't like them now." I answered with finality.
Jamie leaned his head to my ear. "If you agree to the party it will break you out of here earlier." Traitor. Yet, I couldn't deny I really wanted to get away from the hospital and back to our room. I wanted some time with him, alone. I wouldn't get that while I was still chained to this cot.
"Fine. But no presents." I ordered. Jamie gave my hand a squeeze.
"Great! We can bake a cake and Ian, you should put up decorations! Jared, you go tell everyone. This is going to be fun!" Melanie looked excited. They all looked like they could use a little light and fun activity. I needed some fun too, though they all had obviously resolved that I wouldn't be playing a game anytime soon. At most I could be walking by tomorrow.
"Now wait, I doubt I can do a whole lot right now." I insisted, trying to prolong my humiliation.
"You're probably right. Ok then, three nights from now we will have a party for Sky and she will like it." Wanda grinned at me, patting my foot.
I merely glared.
"So it's decided. We party."
s w i t z e r l a n d
I was anxious about the party. Yesterday Jamie had managed to coax me into walking a bit, but I preferred to have him carry me bridal style. It was more fun and less painful on my back which often felt like it would rip in half. My shoulder muscles were shot, quite literally. It hurt to move my upper body a whole lot and though I could walk just fine, I liked being pampered a little. It was getting easier and easier to ignore the pain, especially since Doc fed me No Pain and Heal repeatedly. He seemed determined to fix up the internal bruising and bleeding in my body. I would have welcomed it.
"Wakey wakey. Someone has a birthday party to go to." His familiar voice whispered in my ear. I could feel him lying sideway on the mattress next to me. I turned my head with a smile and hid my nose in his shoulder. I'd slept a lot the last few days. Jamie had carried me down to our room two days ago so that I didn't have to stay in the hospital any longer. I couldn't stand being there and it was far more comfortable in our room. Not to mention private.
"Mmm. I don't want to get up." I mumbled, refusing to open my eyes.
"There will be cake." He coaxed.
"Nuh uh."
"I got a present for you." My eyes shot open and I looked up at him with an angry expression.
"I said no presents."
"And I didn't listen." Jamie smiled and sat up, slipping an arm under my shoulders and lifting me up. I winced as pain shot through my left side but I'd gotten used to ignoring it.
I couldn't deny I was curious. "What did you get me?" I asked as he held fast to my waist and pulled me to my feet.
"Now I can't tell. That would ruin the surprise." He chuckled as he led me to the door. I reached up to make sure my hair was tamed. It wasn't but Jamie assured me that I looked fine. I took his word for it merely because it hurt to lift my arms.
We made our way to the common room where it was filled with streamers, old Christmas lights, and balloons. I had to wonder where they'd gotten all this stuff. A cake sat on a foldable table. I had to admit it looked delicious. They must have made it from scratch. I wondered where they got the recipe.
"What have you guys done?" I groaned, leaning heavily into Jamie. Everyone was gathered around the common room, laughing and smiling. They all looked pleased to be taking a break for the afternoon and enjoying themselves. Jeb sat in one corner with a guitar and Ian stood next to him with a bongo drum. Melanie seemed determined to set the candles on my cake in the exact perfect places. I wondered if she was actually going to put sixteen of them on the cake.
"Happy birthday Sky!" Wanda sang, tossing homemade confetti into the air. I laughed, shaking my head to get the confetti out of my hair. I was unsuccessful.
"You slept long enough." Carly remarked as she downed several gulps of water.
"Hey, you shot me. I deserve some sleep." I defended. I'd been sleeping far too long. It looked as though the sun was already incredibly low in the sky from what I could see of the mirrors.
"That was not me, thank you very much." Carly growled, poking me in my right arm.
"Oh, you know you would." I snickered. Somehow it was so comforting to tease each other again. It felt like old times. That was something I desperately needed.
"Given proper provocation, I might." Carly warned with a laugh.
"Hey, this is my birthday party. No killing of the birthday girl."
"Especially since she almost died recently anyway." Jared concurred, setting plates next to the cake.
"Hear here!" Melanie laughed, hooking her arm through his.
"Can we change the subject?" I muttered with a grimace.
"How about we have cake?" Jamie proposed, always quick on the uptake. He escorted me to the table and picked up the knife. He sliced the cake and lifted it to my mouth where he forced it down my throat. I was left with a smearing of frosting all over my cheeks.
"So that was your evil plan all along." I laughed, lifting my hand to wipe away the sugar. I licked it off my fingertips and punched him in the arm. It wasn't nearly as hard as I would normally have punched him.
"Not originally, but it seemed like a good idea at the time." He chuckled and rubbed his shoulder. "Anyone else want cake?"
"Not if you're going to feed it to us." Melanie laughed, patting him on the back.
"Same here." Jared agreed.
The candles went to no use to Melanie's dismay as everyone dove into the cake. I ate a large portion of it, as I hadn't eaten anything for at least thirteen hours. Jamie told me that I had long forgone the Kyle helping and if anyone ate as much as I did it would now be referred to as the Sky helping. I was honored.
After everyone had eaten, the party went into full force. Jeb began playing his guitar and Wanda and Ian accompanied him. Ian played his bongos as though his life depended on it. Wanda had a surprisingly soothing singing voice. Jared pulled Melanie out to dance and I couldn't help laughing as he twirled her. I'd never pictured Melanie as someone you could twirl.
"Shall we?" Jamie asked. My eyebrows went up in skepticism.
"You seriously think I'll be able to dance?"
"It's not hard to stand and sway, Sky." He laughed and began toting me towards the center of the room where couples were joining Melanie and Jared.
"You do remember that whole thing about soccer and how my feet have no coordination whatsoever, right?"
"Stop being difficult." He rolled his eyes.
"Don't blame me for being me." I growled my brow furrowing. We stopped smack in the middle of the room. I hated that he'd put me in the center of the stage like this. Wordlessly Jamie took one of my hands while the other stayed at my waist. I settled my free hand on his shoulder and we swayed a little. I felt a little like an idiot. I was almost positive that my dancing looked like a penguin with no feet hobbling through the snow.
"You're being too self-conscious, Sky. No one is judging you and I'm not going to let you hurt yourself. Not this time." He smiled and I sighed. It was hard to resist his warm and infectious smile. I doubted I would ever be able to say no to him.
Well, maybe once.
My head settled against his shoulder and I submitted to the dance. It was comfortable and calm and the closest thing, I suspected, to a prom that I would ever get. Not that I ever imagined something as trivial as prom. High school and all that jazz held no interest for me. I'd seen and done things so much better and I wanted no part in such a provincial life. Even the little ones here who were still being schooled had more interesting lives than we could have had. If anything, the invasion was almost blessing. How else would I have met these wonderful people? How else would I have fallen in love? If that was indeed what this was.
"What are you thinking about?" Jamie wondered to me, obviously spotting the stupid smile on my face.
"Nothing in particular." I lifted my head and grinned mysteriously. He looked at me suspiciously, trying to see past the wicked look in my eyes.
"You're a terrible liar."
"And you're a broken record." I tapped his nose. "I want my present." I changed the subject, cocking my head at him.
"Not here." Jamie leaned down and whispered in my ear. He secured his hold around my waist and began to pull me back towards our room. Melanie seemed to perk up a little at our exit, but she was smooth enough not to draw attention to us. I had to thank her for that. The sky was just beginning to darken, as the room was getting darker and darker second by second.
Jamie led me slowly through the dark corridors back to our room. Panic began to well up in my chest. Bad idea. Bad bad idea. I should've just kept my mouth shut.
Jamie opened the door for me and pulled me into our room. Carefully I sat on the mattress, watching him mess around in his pockets. He seemed a little nervous; I had to keep from giggling at him.
"What are you looking for?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Ah, um…this!" Jamie grinned as he produced a small black cardboard box from his pocket. It looked to be the size of my fist. He handed the small box to me with a bright grin, sitting next to me on the mattress. I cast a sideways glanced at him, lifting the lid of the box just an inch to peer inside.
"Jamie…where did you get this?" I asked as I lifted a glittered necklace from the cotton pillow in the box. A silver gardenia sat as a pendant on a thin chain that fell just below my breasts. The gardenia swung precariously in the air. It was absolutely beautiful; I had to keep the tears from springing to my eyes. It took all my resolve not to break down blubbering hysterically.
"Wanda and I drove down to Tucson last night while you were asleep. You've been sleeping for half-days at a time, so we figured I could sneak away in the night. We raided a little jewelry shop on the outskirts of the city. I saw the gardenia Wanda had given you so long ago so I thought it was fitting." Jamie shrugged, taking the necklace from me and unclasping it. I turned just slightly and he lifted it over my head. I pulled up my hair and pushed it to one side so that he could clasp it without the hindering presence of my wild golden locks. When he had finished, he leaned down to take advantage of the absence of my hair by kissing my neck. A shiver went down my spine. I easily ignored the slight pain that accompanied it.
"It's perfect." I murmured and turned my head to look at him. His eyes locked with mine and before I knew it, our lips were moving together in perfect unison. My eyes fluttered shut as I turned where I sat, facing him. My movements were stiff and painful, but I couldn't be bothered to notice.
Jamie enveloped me in his arms and lowered me carefully onto my back on the mattress. He was far more careful with me, knowing that my body was still stiff and bruised from the beating I'd taken. Though I was in a little pain, it wasn't enough to distract me from his kiss. I doubted there was much that could distract me from that. Especially since he was now trailing them down my chin to my neck. My head was spinning and it was particularly hard to think. I was forgetting my goal.
When I finally remembered it I gained back all my resolve. It was my birthday and I would be damned if I didn't strive for what I wanted. I pulled his face back to mine and claimed his lips. He was hovering over me far too carefully. Almost roughly my hands traveled from his shoulders to his back and I pressed myself against him. An almost inaudible moan escaped him and I had to keep from smiling in satisfaction. Two could play the dazzle game.
I leaned my head down under his chin to press my lips against his neck. I'd never been this bold. If anything, he was always the one initiating this stuff. It was then I realized how much braver he was than I was. Evidently that was about to change as my hands traveled to the hem of his t-shirt. The muscles of his stomach contracted under my fingers as they hooked around the hem and began to tug upward. I could immediately tell that Jamie was uncertain where I was going with this, but he allowed me to pull the shirt off without incident. I caught his mouth again, if only to distract him from his thoughts. He wasn't allowed to think. We would get nowhere fast that way.
It was even easier now to distract him, though. My palms pressed against his stomach and my fingers teased the skin around his beltline.
"Sky—." I broke him off with a swift kiss just under his chin.
I moved my hands back to his shoulders, if only to reassure him for just a moment. My motives were pure…alright, that was a lie. But I had to test the art of deception if I was going to win this war. His hands moved to my waist, anticipating my teasing game. His thumbs moved just under the hem of my t-shirt, lifting just slightly. His fingers grazed the bare skin of my stomach and I groaned, clutching his hair. I felt him grin and his huge hands move up my sides. The tips of his fingers just barely grazed the line of my bra before moving back down to my stomach.
I wasn't ready for this. Or maybe I was. So much had happened in the last week. I couldn't be sure of anything. All I knew was that I wanted him. Every last drop, forever. And that was enough to keep me going.
No more nice girl. My hands moved back to his stomach and just above the line of his jeans. It wasn't until I began tugging down on his belt loop that I felt him go rigid.
I lost.
He sat up abruptly, dark face flushed and excited. However, his mouth was set in a hard line and his eyes looked incredibly alert. Far more alert than I felt. "No." He simply said, bracing himself against the cave wall.
"But—."
"No." I sat up slowly, wincing as the muscles in my back protested. I pulled back my wild sun-bleached hair and held it over my neck, trying to dry the sweat that had broken out along my shoulders.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so…" I murmured as I tried to ignore the painful blush now warming my cheeks.
"What are you so worried about Sky that you thought you had to do this now?" Jamie asked me, his voice surprisingly soft. His hand cupped the side of my face and I leaned into it, feeling the shame creeping up on me.
"Nothing like that," he pointed to my injured shoulder. "Is ever going to happen to you or me again. I'm not going anywhere." Something about the way he spoke made the statement sound bittersweet. Something about it rang false.
I sighed in submission. "I know. I just…I got scared. Life on this earth is so uncertain. You never know when your life could get stolen away. Quite literally." I laughed ironically.
"Well, I'm not going to let that happen to you." Jamie stated forcefully before kissing my forehead. "We should get to bed."
A/N: I am SO sorry this took so long. I've had some major writers block lately, not to mention life as I know it is Ka-RAZY. Next chapter won't be NEARLY as long as this one was. In fact it will be TINY. But, it's my favorite. So I will try to get it out by Wednesday. GO THANKSGIVING BREAK!
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"I love you. I thought you'd want to know." I said as my arms wrapped around his neck securely. I never wanted to let go.
"Just what I wanted to hear." He pulled back only to kiss me gently. "I love you too."
