Chapter 9 :: Trembling Hearts
Mikki and Lucien got a lot closer as the days past; their friendship blossomed beyond an ordinary friendship. However, there comes a time when the person you care for the most becomes the person that can hurt you the most. Mikki found that out as time flew by. Every day felt like another miracle to her because of the happiness she had finally experienced. Not only that, but Lucien seemed to be opening up to her as well. The once cold and sadistic boy she once fantasized of meeting was her closest friend, maybe they were more than friends? There were times where he would be distant towards her, but she always found her way back into his heart. She feared the day that their happiness would be taken away from them, when he would leave her.
Every minute is like a whole day. I stand here wondering if I should step forward or take a step back. I tremble as I thought about Lucien. It's like I'm stepping on a thin sheet of ice. If I move to quickly I'll surely fall through and drown, but if I wait here…What will happen? I can't just stand here and wait for something to happen, I have to do something. The deeper I fell in love with him, the more scared I was of losing him. I started having more and more contradictory thoughts. I hauled myself up in my room since two weeks have passed when I last saw Alex at Lucien's house. He and I would often kiss as if we were trying to read each other's thoughts and feelings that way. For whatever reason, I felt like he could read mine, but I was having more trouble reading his as our comfort turned more into pleasure. I swallowed a pill that I took every morning to make sure nothing would result from another 'incident'. I took these pills in secret since most people would probably think I was 'that kind of person' for having birth control.
Knock. Knock. I heard a knock on my door to see Alex. I talked to her more over text than anything else. Today, I called her over since things were looking up for her. She didn't tell Lucien, but she did manage to tell Petey and me that she and Gary were talking. I was happy to see her smile again. There's that word again…Happy. What is happiness? I knew what it meant from a general perspective, but what does it actually mean to be happy, what makes you feel happy?
Although it was definitely less than it was previously, I still had a hefty amount of jealousy for the appeal Alex had to Lucien. Alex had spent her childhood with him getting to be with him. I wanted to be the closest one to him, he never told me if I was. When I hung out with him, I wanted to know more and more about him. I wanted to know everything. It's probably selfish of me to want that... Alex was like my role model at times because she was so strong. I'm such a crybaby I could never be like her!
"I swear Mikki, every time we hang out I get fatter." Alex says as I make her some strawberry cheesecake like the one from her birthday. She told me how much she really liked it and I thought it would be best to be with a friend since I was feeling a bit down. Sweets for a 'fat day' make everything feel better. I had these days I labeled as 'fat days' when I would eat fatty foods to sort of dull out some discomfort I felt. Rex-chan knew about this and she told me that she'd be happy to join me on one of these days when she was still upset. She didn't take it back when Gary talked to her, so I finally used up one of the opportunities to hang out with her before she did. She wasn't the only one I hung out with though. I was making new friends in every class, even during passing time and lunch. I met Eunice, Vance, Pinky, Gord, Ricky, Ted, Lucky, and Algie…There was so many people that I was getting close to because of the small circle of friends I started with. I was happy though to have another close friend like Alex. I still talked occasionally with Francis, but since the day he confessed to me and Lucien shot him down for me, he's been giving me the 'cold-shoulder'.
"That is the magic of fat day!" I said with a bitter smile. I tried to genuinely smile for her, but I couldn't help but feel like my world was going to cave in soon. What goes up must come down. That was a property of physics. I was more timid recently because of this terrible feeling in my gut. I had an uncanny ability where my instincts could tell me if things were going to go wrong soon and it never failed. I also had an uncanny ability to find Lucien in a crowd of people. One of the places with the largest amount of people in all of Bullworth was the carnival. I had always wanted to go, but I never wanted to go alone. I wanted to go with Lucien at some point, but with this aching in my heart whenever I was around him…I don't think I could enjoy myself feeling so worried. Alex agreed to go with me since she knew how I was feeling.
"It's pretty packed today!" Beatrice noted. She tagged along with us since she and Alex are pretty good friends too.
"Yeah, I wonder how long the lines are today. It is a weekend…" Alex said as I looked around the ticket booth for a sign of a familiar face. So, he's not here. Even though I knew it would be highly unlikely for me to see Lucien today since I didn't tell him where I was going, just that I was going to be with Alex and Beatrice, I still wore cute clothes because I wanted to see him. I kept my eyes fixated on the moss growing between the patches of stone and dirt in the ground. I wonder if Francis is still mad at me…
"Mikki, let's go! Grab your ticket!" Beatrice jostled me for a moment since she saw me spacing out. I saw the ticket sticking out of the booth and took it as Alex and Beatrice took me along with them into the carnival rides. There were so many things I was unfamiliar with here. I had never been on an outing with friends since I was in elementary school, nor did I ever visit a carnival.
We spent some time at the game booths first. Alex was really good at Strike Out and the Shooting Range, she told Beatrice it was because she had been here previously with a date. Beatrice still had no idea Alex was a girl, but that didn't really bother her since she was more captivated by the atmosphere. We rode on some rides quite a bit. The first one we went on was the Big Squid and Beatrice threw up in a trash can close by. Alex and I sat with her on a bench so she could rest for a bit.
"I didn't really think we'd ride five times!" She was a bit groggy from all the spinning.
"You said you wanted to!" I laughed even though I was still a little melancholy on the inside. "I actually thought Alex was going to get sick first considering – ", I turned over to Alex to see Francis looking over at me as he headed into the further end of the carnival where the Freak Show was located and Go-Kart Race. I ran after him to be surrounded by Mandy, Christy, and Angie. Where did he go? I want to apologize to him…"Um, excuse me, if I could just get by, I need to talk to –", Mandy shoved me on the ground.
"Hey, knock it off!" Alex shouted when she found me on the ground in front of our classmates.
"You again, Emerison? I should have known she was friends with you so I could knock her down from the start! Just like Spotty over there." Mandy gestures over to Beatrice who stands behind Alex, hiding from Mandy and her crew. I see Lucien in the corner of my eye on the other side of the fence. Why's he here? "We know you've been getting cozy with Lucien!"
"Yeah, just who do you think you are?" Angie reproached me. I forgot these girls were in Lucien's and Francis' fan club, the head members of it in fact.
"Back off Emerison, unless you want Ted to come after you again. With just one word from me, he'll forget all about Jimmy's peace treaty and come back after you. I saw Alex flinch for a moment and then regain her composure. "What's the point of doing this? Do you really think Lucien will like you after you hurt her? I've known him longer than anyone and I can honestly say he wouldn't be pleased if he saw what you were doing." Alex, I can see why he really cared for you. He still does, but… I notice my chance to escape from the fan girls and brush past them.
"Hey, what are you trying to pull?" Christy said, grabbing my coat collar, tripping me, and tossing me back in the dirt. I winced as I scraped my leg, but I got up again. I have to apologize to Francis. I have to. I continue down even though they chase me. Even though right now my legs are starting to hurt from multiple scrapes I kept running, looking for him. I have to. I need to apologize to him. I don't want to lose him as a friend.
I run into the Go-Kart Race track area after handing the activity manager a dollar to enter. I didn't mind that I wasn't participating; I just had to find him. When I stepped inside the fence, I couldn't find him. I was sure this is where he went too.
Tok. Someone lightly hit me on the back of the head with a rolled up poster. "Hey!" I said as I was about to get mad at that person. I was glad I didn't since it was my friend – The friend who I was going to lose, Princess Francis. He surprised me. "Hmph! Now you decide to show up!" I clutched at my lower leg that had a pretty nasty cut from earlier I didn't realize how bad it was until I stopped to feel the stinging.
"Is that all you wanted to say?" He smirked with his usual charm. A lot of times, I found this side of him to be silly.
"I changed my mind!" I said as I turned away from him with my tongue sticking out.
"Wow, what a face!" He used his rolled up poster as a megaphone, "Let it be known that I'm not as hideous as the savage Mikki!" He roared sarcastically as I playfully punched him on the arm. He lowered his makeshift megaphone and smiled at me, "Oh, you're into hitting now are you?" He raised it up again, "Let it also be known, Mikki is of low character!" I couldn't help but laugh. He was at least talking to me like he normally would even if we were just joking around. I missed seeing this side of him. He was more like himself back at Tangyoon now than he had been since he got here.
"Mikki!" Alex and Beatrice came storming in through the gates when Francis and I saw them.
"Are you okay? I think we lost them!" Alex mentioned getting rid of the girls from a few minutes ago and she glares over at Francis.
"Alex, it's okay, he's my friend!" I try to get her to loosen up.
"Alexander…Aren't you friends with that model boy?" He says eyeing Alex carefully.
"What's it to you?" She holds her intense glare.
"Nothing. Oh, how rude of me to not properly introduce myself, I'm Francis Irvine. You may call me Francis or France if you'd like." He kisses Beatrice on her hand and walks back over to me. I'm getting that gut feeling again…
So, here I am accompanying Lucien as he meets with Derby Harrington. I really hate the preps, but Lucien said I'd get to meet someone that he hasn't even met yet either and wanted me to be their escort. Now, if this was Derby's attempt at trying to sell Pinky off to Lucien, it would surely backfire since he and Mikki are pretty good together. Lately though, he's been kind of cold to her. He didn't tell her yet, but he thinks that he might hurt her and he doesn't want her to be around for that to happen. It's strange to see how much he cares about her when he was annoyed with her at the beginning. I actually told him about that odd guy who was with Mikki, her ex-fiancé. He told Alex and I that he was the person involved in Mikki's traumatic event, but he never got a chance to tell Mikki herself since the timing seemed to always be wrong. He even had proof through all the research he did. He was really protective of Mikki. I do say protective as in possessive. I just hoped she could figure it out for herself.
Derby came waltzing in with Bif and his other inn-bred, trust-fund, friends, except there was one person who didn't belong. She was the girl who I saw awhile ago, the cute one I saw running track. I never got her name. Who is she and why is she here? Ah, man, why did Gary put all my white shirts with the red socks during the first laundry day?
My cousin showed up, late as usual. He had called me earlier since he had found the whereabouts of my sister he had desperately tried to prove that I had. My father never told my mother and me about his secret affairs with a mistress he worked with during photo shoots. His mistress was his advisor for the modeling portion of the industry. According to the letter Derby had shown me a while ago, my father would provide funds and send them to her occasionally to assist in their child's upbringing. He could never be with that woman since he already had my mother and me, his first family. The media would create havoc if they were to ever find out. It's no wonder he kept this a well-hidden secret. Alarissa, Alexandria's mother was his one, true love. When she had chosen Alexandria's father over him, my father had no choice but to marry my mother. He continued to be unfaithful to her though since he wanted to fill in the space that Alarissa had left in him. He got someone else pregnant a year or so after I was born. I wanted to meet her though. I requested Derby to find her if she truly did exist. He did just as I asked to prove that I was wrong for not believing him right away. He stood in front of as the girl he had discovered was completely not amused by our meeting.
"So, this guy is supposed to be my brother? I don't see it. There's nothing really to him." She says as she points at me doubtfully.
"It looks like she's already talking her older brother down!" Derby's tall, red-headed friend jeered as I looked at the girl in front of me. In her eyes was determination and confidence, the same eyes as my fathers, the same eyes, I too, had. She was definitely born under my father, but her mother had also been his mistress. She had flowing reddish-brown hair in a ponytail just like the woman I would sometimes see in his office.
"You're that girl that runs track, aren't you?" Peter asked as she turned pink seeing his face.
"What's your name?" I asked offering my hand out to shake hers.
"My name is Paige, Paige Harrison." She refused to shake my hand and instead chose to stand there where her arms crossed.
"Paige, hm?" She seemed rather rude with her mannerisms, but I couldn't tell if she was raised that way or if it was just father's influence. "I'm Lucien Wilkinsons." The mention of my father's last name hit a soft-spot in her, she turned away from me and demanded to leave.
"We just got here. Can't you at least pretend to be happy?" Bif replied as he tried to convince her to stay.
I squinted in her direction when Derby spoke, "This may be a little too much information for her to handle. She looks a bit young to comprehend. What grade are you in anyway pauper?"
"I'm a freshman, how old do you think I am trust-fund fairy." She retorted as she looked a bit sullen. "I want to go home, this isn't fun. I thought we were at least going to go on some rides."
"I'll go on some rides with you." Petey offered causing her blush to overcome her again.
We all noticed her reaction right away. She was more willing to do things if he was willing to be near her. I guess I'm not the only single-minded individual here when it comes to love. "We have to get back to Glass Jaw anyway." Derby said as he gestured Paige to follow him.
"Paige. Hurry up, or we'll leave you here poor girl." Bif scolded her. She ignored him and latched on to Pete's arm dragging him away from us.
"Well, I suppose that'll be alright for now." Derby watches the two leave. He must have figured out he doesn't have to wait for her this way. "Come Bif, let's see if Hopkins has found our trophies yet."
"Trophies?" I asked with a hint of concern.
"The heirlooms that were passed down to us were stolen. I have a reason to believe it was those Greaser scum, who else would want them." Bif bluntly responded.
"Hopkins said he'd try to find the culprit. He actually thinks that those Greasers are innocent." Derby scoffs, "It has to be them, nobody else at this school would dare go after our possessions knowing what we're capable of."
I rolled my eyes. I texted Pete to let him know that I was going to be heading out too. I sighed since this was kind of a bust. I went home to gather my thoughts on this new information. So, she actually does exist.
"Your friend doesn't seem to like me." Francis looked at Alex with a raised brow since she was clenching her fists.
"A-Alex, he's okay, really. He's my friend." I said as he tugged me closer to him for a hug. "Francis, there's something I need to talk to you about." He held me closer to him watching Alex intently and then released me.
"Ant, I'll just go. I can tell when I'm not wanted." He shrugged as he turned towards the exiting gates.
"Francis, wait!" I tugged on his jacket sleeve and he stopped abruptly.
"Ant, if you do that again you might regret it." He tore his sleeve away from my fingers and smirked. "Let's meet up again soon. I'll be waiting. You still have my address don't you?"
I watched my vision of him grow blurry. Why were things turning out like this? What does Alex have against him? I turned towards Rex-chan and Beatrice to see Bea trying to calm her down. "Rex-chan?"
By the time I arrived at my estate, I had a text message from Alexandria. 'The bastard showed up at the carnival to talk to Mikki. Your fans decided to bully her'. I clasped my phone in my hand shaking with anger. Does he not know his limits? I changed out of my school uniform and headed over to see Mikki. It was late, but Mrs. Peabody let me in since I had a good reputation with her. I knocked on Mikki's door to find that it was already open. Her lights were still on and I saw her sleeping. She makes the cutest expressions. She's so innocent. She's so pure. However, she looked like she was having a nightmare. I sat next to her on her bed after I had locked the door behind me. I wasn't around her too much as of lately because I was afraid I was going to do something I may regret. I brushed my hand through her hair as she rolled over towards me. Her expression softened as she woke up a little bit. "Lucien?" She rubbed her eyes and yawned trying to sit up.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." I gave her one of my famous smiles as she removed her blanket. She was wearing a long shirt I had given her awhile ago from one of the photo shoots I did in the past. It was really long in the sleeve area, it almost covered her entire hand if she hadn't pushed the sleeves back a bit and it barely covered her upper thigh as she hugged me. She had some bandages on which I assumed were from my fan club.
I flustered a bit from the sudden action, "M-Mikki, I-I need to talk to you about something."
She released me and held her pillow in her lap. "What is it?"
I couldn't really concentrate since she had teased me with that hug. Seeing her sometimes would cause my insides to stir and I'd constantly want to dominate her. She knew this was the case, but sometimes she'd forget when she was so tired and leave herself vulnerable. I kissed her as we lay on her bed in the girls' dorm. No one would disturb us since the door was locked and she was living in a single room for the time being. "Mikki, can I just touch them?" I said peering down to her breasts which had developed a bit more since I had met her about two months ago.
"No."
"No?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because you won't stop at just touching." She smiled at me which made me want her more. Is this what Hopkins and Smith have to go through every day? I advance on her just to tease her a bit. She ends up falling off her bed because she really thought I was going to do something to her.
Mrs. Peabody knocks on the door and asks, "Is everything okay in there?" As she does her usual rounds.
Mikki gets up off the floor and replies to her, "Ye-Yes!" She gestures me to stop fooling around. I sighed as I gave in to her wishes. "Are you going to tell me why you're actually here?"
I smiled with her for a moment and then it disappeared when I remembered why I came here. "Mikki, I don't think you should hang out with Francis anymore." It was now or never and I figured I should do it now while he is still kept at bay.
"Lucien, you too? First Alex and then you? Actually now that I think about it, yesterday Petey did come over telling me the same thing." She reminisced.
"Mikki, it's a little bit more serious than us just not wanting to let you hang out with him. The lad is a terrible human being." She laughed even though I was being serious. She really doesn't believe me.
"You guys barely even know him, why do you hate him already?" Mikki held onto my hands and placed them on her cheeks. "I won't leave you, don't worry about him."
I was hoping she could see the heartrending sadness exuberating from me. Your friend is the one who hurt you. He's the one who caused you accident. No good will come from him. "Mikki…Please stay away from him. I wanted to tell you sooner, but…" I scratched my head and handed her the case files I found along with the evidence.
Lucien was acting stranger than usual today. I wonder what would happen if I were to disappear from his side one day. Would he worry? What if he were to disappear from me? What if he were to leave me? My smile was gone when he handed me this manila folder with lots of papers in it. There was a file stating that there was proof Francis was the one who had raped me and that his dad covered it up with his money. His friends that were involved ratted him out too in some of the confirmation. I start to tear up as Lucien holds me in his warm embrace. This can't be true. It can't… Why would he? Why? He's my friend. We're friends. I thought back to all the times Francis and I had shared laughter and even the first time we met. Some of it made sense, but why did he do it?
I've always thought of him as one of my pillars, the person who I could count on no matter what. I couldn't stop crying. Lucien held me close to his chest as we got under my covers. He told me he wasn't leaving tonight because I needed him. Francis, please tell me this is all just a cruel joke. Please tell me this is a late April Fool's Day gag. I fell asleep that night in the arms of someone who I couldn't bear to lose, the person who was going to replace Francis in my heart. I was only kidding myself to pretend I didn't see this coming, but why was I still waiting for an answer that I knew wasn't coming?
"Mikki, don't see him anymore." Those were Lucien's last words before I cried myself to sleep. I need to get his side of the story Lucien, maybe this was a mistake. Maybe he was framed?
Lucien left early morning even though he was really sleepy from staying up making sure I had fallen asleep. It was almost time for supplementary weekend classes which I thankfully didn't need to go to so I left campus to visit Francis at his address. I already had it mapped out on my phone so I left the paper in my room after I had taken another pill. He lived somewhere in Old Bullworth Vale as well near the other preps. I was surprised to find out that he lived next to Tad Spencer. Seeing his last name reminded me of my dad. I wonder how he's doing right now. I hope he's eating and drinking his medicine. I still worried about my dad because my mom convinced me to love him regardless of his mistakes. He was partially the reason I was living today. I'm actually more thankful since I now have Lucien, Alex, Petey, and all my other friends.
I was standing outside his house wondering if whether I should do this or not. Lucien was very adamant about me staying away from him. I paced back in forth still deciding. Well, maybe he's wrong, maybe those files are bogus! What if he isn't even home? I didn't even call him!
I pinch my cheeks as I hear him call out from his window. "HEY! There's a stalker! How scary, I have a female stalker! She's loitering in a 'No Loitering' zone!"
I tense up from embarrassment since people are walking by staring at me. "I-I'm not a stalker Francis!" He caught me off guard again.
"Eh? Really? Then what are you since you've been pacing like a mad-woman outside my house." He chuckled from a distance. Just exactly how long has he been watching me?
"I told you yesterday I had to talk to you!"
"And you just decided to wander around the front of my house?"
"No, I – ", I ring the door bell, "See, let me in!"
"Not by the hairs of my chinny-chin-chin!" He mocks me as I glare at him with a pout.
"Please?" I say smiling at him sweetly.
"Denied, I refuse allowing degenerates into my house."
"Y-You! Francis, open the gate, dammit!" I repeatedly push on the doorbell to his house.
"The pedo-stalker has gone berserk everyone!" He continued to taunt me.
"You're such a jerk! Mrs. Irvine, I've come to visit your stupid-ass son!" I resumed my barrage on the doorbell. "I said open up Francis!"
"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting." Mrs. Irvine opens the gates with a grim expression. Shit. I didn't think she was home too. This is by far the worst possible situation.
"Please stay as long as you'd like Mikki, maybe you two can work things out." Mrs. Irvine had some maids bring Francis and I some food and drinks.
"Go on, eat some, it's our favorite." Francis said as he cut off a piece of red bean cake. He and I liked similar foods.
"Ah, yes. Thank you." I said a bit embarrassed still from my poor display of class.
"What did you want to tell me?" He asked as I almost spit a bit of my food out from his frank question. Right to the point I guess.
"Um, I just wanted to apologize since you were mad at me and all –", he cuts me off.
"Why did you assume I was mad at you?" He takes another bite of the red bean cake.
"Be-because you stopped talking to me and I –" He does it again.
"Why didn't you just ask me why I stopped talking to you?"
"You sure are one to talk since you're the one who gave off the impression!" I said a little ticked. I puffed my cheeks, "Fine! Then why did you stop talking to me? Were you feeling guilty after you had raped me?!" Er, shoot. He sat there silently on his bed as he stared at the wall across from him. I felt bad for accusing him right away, "Fr-Francis?"
"Can you really call yourself my friend when you accuse me right off the bat like that?" He seethed at me. I gulped. I have never seen him look so angry.
"Francis, you didn't really…" I was trying to make him deny it, trying to hold on to the slight chance everyone was wrong.
"It was your fault…" He started to exude a dark aura when his mom was already gone for work. The maids were so far away from us that no one would be able to hear me if I screamed. "I just wanted to embarrass you like you had done to me not once, not twice…Many times. Starting with your stupid nicknames!" He forced me onto his bed and tried to press his lips to mine. Please no. Please no. This can't be real. Don't be real. His grip on my arms tightened as he tried to remove my clothes with free hand as one of his legs pushed my other arm down.
"Stop it! Stop it!" I screamed and he continued with what he was doing. I started crying and he grabbed the arm I had underneath his leg and tossed me onto the ground. He did it with such force I probably would have broken my arm if I had decided to try and work against the force.
"Leave." He murmured as I felt a welt making its appearance on my arms. One was near my elbow, the other was on my upper arm. "I said leave!" He lashed out at me and I quickly ran out. Who was that? What was that? I shake my thoughts away as I run back into the dorms. I hid my bruises and welts from everyone under my sleeves on the way there.
The next few hours after…
Lucien came back to check on me. I couldn't face him; I couldn't look him in the eye. He tried to kiss me on my neck when I flinched at his grasp on my upper arm. "Let's stop here for today." I responded to him reluctantly.
"Why?" He was in the mood to kiss me more, but I had to turn him away.
"No reason." I felt bad since it had been awhile since he was this affectionate with me.
"What the bloody hell is wrong Mikki?" He said under his breath. I managed to catch it, but I ignored it.
I got up from my bed and trudged over to the door to the hallway. "Are you hungry?" I said offering him something since I had rejected his affection.
I came to visit Mikki since I was still worried about her. I didn't get up until noon or so. When I had gotten into her room to comfort her, she asked me to stop. Normally, she'd have just allowed me to do what I wanted and she'd go along with it. Today was different. I watched her get up and I noticed a small greenish-purple mark on her arm.
She was almost to the door when she asked me, "Is it okay if I just bring back snacks?"
I grabbed her arm that exposed her bruise through her carelessness and I had a dire tone, "What is this?" She looked at me begrudgingly and turned away quickly snatching her arm away from my grasp.
"I bumped it."
Bullshit. "Did you go see him?" She stopped walking towards the door.
There was a slight pause before she turned to me again, "I only met with him briefly – ", I slapped her and she hit the wall near her door...She put her hand on her cheek, "I said I only met with him briefly." Her tears started pouring down as I stood there in shock from what I had just done. "You're mean..."
"Mikki, I'm sorry…" I embraced her before I left her room that day. I wasn't planning to see her any time after what I did.
The next weekend…
'I just want to kill that bastard'. But look what you did. 'She deserved it'. Are you any better than he is for making her cry?'I told her not to see him'. Do you feel better now?'No.'
I kept my distance from Mikki since then. I hurt her for the first time. I made her cry for the first time. I couldn't keep my promise to her. My thoughts were scattered into voices of my father and myself. I was starting to get confused between the voices since that day. The ones that I thought belonged to my father were now sounding like me. I had hurt the person who I had cared for. She was the person I thought didn't exist in this world. She was the person who wanted to be with me despite the fact that I was a monster underneath my facade and loved me for me.
I saw Lucien after he got back from his photo shoot a few days ago, I tried to talk to him, but he turned away from me. The next chance I got to talk to him, he just walked off. Today, I was definitely going to talk to him! I was reinvigorated since I had all weekend to think about what I did. I was sorry. I just wanted to believe my friend who I had known for so long was innocent. At least I had hoped. I really did believe Lucien, but it was unfair for me to make the call without Francis' story. Right now, I just wished that I could undo the mess I made. Lucien wasn't going to clean it up this time. He wasn't going to comfort me either. I didn't blame him once.
I was withdrawn when Eunice and I hung out this morning. I was holding on to all the supplies I had to teach her how to make homemade chocolates, that's when I saw him.
"Hey, Mikki…" I looked up to see Lucien. His face was as cold as the times I had seen him angry before.
"Yes?" I perked up hoping he'd smile.
"You don't have to keep your promise to me anymore, it's unnecessary." He said with his head held high. Petey was with him and he gave me a regretful look. Unnecessary?
I felt broken as I tried to smile, "Oh…I see. Well, it really meant a lot to me." I had so many questions I wanted to ask him, so many things I wanted to tell him, but I stopped myself seeing that he was over me.
"Let me also add that you don't have to come over anymore either."
I was dumbstruck seeing his cold smile. "I…I guess that would only be right…" I said as I felt tears forming in my eyes. I put my hand to my forehead as my vocal chords trembled inside me. I could feel that lump in my throat forming before I was about to cry. I smiled to hold it off a bit longer, "I'm sorry I bothered you!~" My bitter smile gave in to the tears and before he could see them, I ran back to the dorms. I dropped the objects on the table next to Eunice and I ran up to my room. Eunice knocked on my door and I told her I was fine. I asked if I could make the chocolates with her later and I guess she could tell I was upset. I never really understood what the word 'beloved' meant until I met Lucien. I looked at the key chain under my pillow with Usacha-chan. These were the two items I held dear to me. One was from my mother, the other held a picture of the love I have lost.
"Let's go..." Lucien swiped his hand through his curly blonde hair.
"Why did you have to be so mean to her?" Petey asked him.
"I don't think I was being mean at all…I was just being myself." He said with a nonchalant demeanor.
Petey looked back to his friend that was running away as Lucien dismissed himself from the spot in front of the academy's main building, "Couldn't you have been a little nicer to her?"
"Why would I do that?"
"You're regressing." Petey followed after him hoping that he could at least share some insight.
"I can't focus with her around." Lucien whispered almost inaudibly.
Pete wasn't sure if he heard something, "Did you say anything?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all."
A/N: Okay, is it bad I totally cried while writing this XD I'm such a sucker for break ups. I always cry. Also, I wanted to thank my reviewers, followers, and favorite…ers (?) (as well as PurebloodPrincess09's) too! These joint stories ("My Roommate Is A Sociopath" by PurebloodPrincess09 and "Melodies of Memories") really wouldn't be possible if it weren't for you guys supporting us! Thanks a billi…infinity!~ Check out the joint story too if you haven't already (You really should have by now because this story wouldn't make sense without it)!
PurebloodPrincess09 – And now, they're sort of not together XD I think I may have broken a system here O_O
Project E.N.D. – Now before you get mad, I assure you this may not be permanent in the Lucki fandom.
Immortal37 – Like the comment above this, I am sorry if this chapter has made you all s*** your pants or butt clench, there should be no butt clenches! Unclench those cheeks unless this is permanent :O
OfTheHuntandMoon – I know you didn't get a chance to review, but I figured since the last chapter I forgot the name of the place, I found out from my sister that it's called Diddy Riese! It's actually in Westwood XD
