Chapter 12: Trigger

Alice's POV

"So, are you going to tell me where we're going?" I heard Jasper wonder from somewhere behind me.

"Umm, I haven't decide yet," I hummed while rifling through the clothes hanging in my walk-in closet. I absently slid one hanger after another down the rod, not really seeing the clothes in front of me. Only a multicolored blur adorned my busy mind as I attempted to plan our day together. "But it doesn't matter, really," I added. "Just as long as it's not here."

Suddenly, I felt Jasper's hands on both my shoulders pulling my body backward into him. I released the sleeve of a violet cashmere sweater I happened to be holding onto, and sighed pleasantly as he kissed the top of my head.

"Ali, you can stop worrying so much about me. I'm doing alright," he crooned, then kissed me a second time.

Even though Edward had been doing much better recently, I couldn't shake my concerns about how it was affecting Jasper. And naturally, he picked up on that.

I spun around to look at him. "You need a break," I stated matter-of-factly, looking up into his honey-golden gaze. "And tomorrow is the perfect time to take one. Bella will be gone for most of the day so there's really no reason to babysit Edward."

Jasper grimaced in a chastising manner at my choice of words.

"I'm sorry, 'keep an eye' on Edward," I corrected with a sigh and lowered my head against Jasper's chest. "I really don't mean to seem resentful toward him, Jazz. Honest. It's just that, you've been so amazing through all of this; so selfless and supportive, and I just feel like it's your turn to relax a little. You deserve it."

"Edward has been through a lot, and has a lot to lose," Jasper pointed out solemnly. "It should always be his turn to relax."

Lifting my head upward again, I paused to stare at my husband in amazement of his unfaltering allegiance. "Edward is lucky to have you," I stated with admiration. "And you're lucky to have me!" I added playfully with a smile, pressing my index finger into his chest. I then turned from him to feign resuming my hunt through my closet.

"Oh, is that so?" Jasper laughed, requesting further explanation.

"Yes. You've just made my point for me," I replied, sliding more hangers randomly along the rail. "You would never think to take some time away yourself, so you need me to make sure you're well and taken care of — in other words, going on this day-trip."

"Ah. I knew there was a good reason I keep you around," Jasper played along. Though my back was to him, I could hear the smile in his voice and was thankful for the return of a lighthearted mood. However, I still felt the need to convince him of my motives.

"Whatever it is that's going on with Edward, he's going to be alone tomorrow anyway, so there's no reason not to take a little time for ourselves," I continued to rationalize. "I mean, you have to admit that the idea of it sounds appealing, right? I know it hasn't been easy for you. Even with Edward doing much better, having him affected by your ability takes a lot of concentration on your part. We can just take a long drive, just you and me, where you don't have to be bothered by anyone for miles around. Think of this getaway as a way to recharge. Make yourself even more useful to him after your head is cleared. You know?"

I spun around again when I ran out of hangers, realizing that I had been rambling without any feedback from Jasper, and when I looked at his face, a silly grin was plastered to it.

"I never said that I didn't want to go, Alice," he revealed. "What time do we leave?"

I frowned with mock annoyance. "Then why did you let me ramble on and on?!"

"Because I never get enough of hearing how much you care about me," he said, running his hands down to both sides of my hips. His melted butter gaze softened me. "I feel it all the time of course, but when you speak it at the same time it feels like an extra comfortable blanket wrapping around me. And the best part is that between me and that blanket, is you, pressing right up against me. Now, Alice, why in my right mind would I want that feeling to stop?"

I shook my head and tugged at the front of Jasper's shirt until his lips were an inch from mine.

"I'm the luckiest one of all to have you, Jasper Whitlock."

-

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Bella's POV

Mom was going to be in Seattle tomorrow. She called last week to invite me to meet up with her because Phil had a ball game scheduled there, but I had never given her a definitive answer. With everything that was going on with Edward, I wasn't sure if I should go. Not that Edward would object, of course, but I knew I would feel distracted if I went, and that wouldn't be fair to Mom, especially since I rarely got to see her. But after last night, it seemed that things were finally beginning to look up between Edward and I, so I felt more comfortable with the idea of going after all. I called her up and said that I would meet her at their hotel tomorrow sometime in the afternoon.

I would be leaving first thing in the morning, and Charlie mentioned that he wanted to see me off, so I spent the following night in my own bed, without Edward by my side again. Though we had finally spent the previous night together with no problems, there was still a shred of hesitancy on his part to be completely alone with me. Maybe a few more nights at his house with Jasper close by would ease him into feeling comfortable with the idea, but for now I understood if he still wanted to be cautious. I could wait, and I would wait for him as long as I had to.

I woke up at eight o'clock the next morning, and Charlie gave my truck a once-over before I left to make sure it was in good condition to make the long drive. He even offered to come along. I declined his offer, and had to struggle not to laugh at how visibly relieved he was about that. Though his purpose was simply to make sure I was safe, I knew Charlie could think of a million things more appealing than spending the day with my mother.

He hadn't mentioned Ethan since that first time in my room. From what I learned, the official search ended a few days after his death, and only a small group of his family and friends had continued to look for him after that. Posters of the missing boy littered the streets of Forks on storefront windows and electric poles, and the face that was undoubtedly haunting Edward's mind, had crept into mine as well. As dismal as it was, I didn't let it overtake me. I buried it away and focused on how things with Edward were finally progressing.

I called Edward that morning to talk casually for a few minutes before I left, and was on the road by nine. The morning was overcast again. I knew the sunshine wouldn't last very long. It never did. But the dreariness failed to settle into my spirits as well. I was actually in a fairly good mood as I drove down the highway toward Seattle.

I was close to Port Angeles when my cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella, Honey, it's Mom. Have you left Forks yet?"

"Yeah, just over an hour ago, why?"

"Shoot, I'm sorry, Honey, but I need to take a raincheck on our plans. Phil got into an accident at batting practice."

"Oh my God, what happened? Is he okay?"

"He got struck in the face with a fastball. He's doing alright but they're taking him to the hospital for stitches and to check for a concussion. It's not serious but I doubt he's going to play in the game tonight."

"Well, I can come meet you at the hospital," I offered.

"No, no. You don't have to do that. You're still closer to home than you are to here. I think it's best that you just turn around and we'll catch up another day, okay?" Mom replied insistently. "I'm so sorry, Sweetie, I know it's last minute."

"It's okay, Mom. Tell Phil I hope he feels better soon."

"Thanks, I will. I'll call you later, Bella. Bye."

So much for playing catch-up with Mom.

I drifted into the right lane and took the exit into Port Angeles. As my truck idled at a red light, I debated spending a few hours in town. A split-second later, memories of the last time I was in the city reminded me why I shouldn't be there alone. Images of the dark street and the men that threatened me last year flashed in my mind, making me shudder. It was doubtful Edward had followed me this time, and even though it was silly to assume anything similar in nature would happen to me, I decided against staying.

I became lost in my thoughts about that night, and every moment with Edward leading up to this very day... It seemed that all Edward has done was protect and rescue me from one thing or another for as long as I've known him.

The sound of a ferry horn broke me away from my thoughts. When the light turned green again, I circled around to get back onto the highway and started heading West, back toward Forks; back toward my protector.

-

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Edward's POV

Silence. Lack of sound was something I rarely experienced. I was constantly surrounded by a continual buzz of thoughts of everyone near me. Over the years I've mastered how to tune them in and out, choosing which thoughts among the clamor that floated through my mind to concentrate on, but it was never completely silent unless a large distance reduced the noise to a hush.

This morning was one of the moments I was enjoying the silence. After speaking to Bella on the phone, I planned to stay home to do exactly nothing but enjoy the lack of sound. Jasper and Alice left hours ago on their trip and the rest of my family had plans of their own that removed them from the house.

A few hours went by before the quiet fell away. It began with the irritated cawing of a several crows, followed closely by the sound of tires rolling over lose stones; approaching footsteps; soft and steady breathing; an eager heartbeat... however, not a single thought was to be heard among those invading sounds.

I would have been saddened of my fading silence had I not realized who was responsible for stealing it. I could have sensed her from a thousand miles away. Bella. For a fraction of a second I was filled with bliss, until I remembered that I was without a safety net. The clash in my emotions was dizzying, and the knell of the door chimes added to the uneasiness.

I walked downstairs into the foyer and grasped the metal handle of the door. Despite the apparent progress from the night we had spent together, I wasn't entirely comfortable with letting Bella inside. The fact was that my allies were absent, and right now the only thing ensuring Bella's safety was the thick wooden front door that separated us.

However, something inside my head whispered to me, urging me to open the door; insisting that I had spent enough time already agonizing over what might happen. The confidence I lacked in myself was only at arms reach, though it stubbornly skittered backwards each time I attempted to grasp it. I set my jaws together tightly, fed up of the constant what-ifs, and when the doorbell rang a second time, I opened the door before the chimes evanesced.

Bella greeted me with an innocent smile. "Oh good, you are home. Hi!"

"Hey. What are you doing here? I thought you went to Seattle," I asked, doing my best to appear neutral.

"My mom had to cancel." Her smile slowly faded as she spoke. Apparently I wasn't doing a good job at concealing the apprehension from my face. "What's wrong?" she asked, tilting her head to look around me.

Aware that I had yet to move from the doorway to let her inside, I felt my eyebrows pinch together as I decided how to respond. "Alice didn't tell you that she and Jasper were going out of town today?" I said carefully.

Bella simply shook her head as she understood what that meant, and her eyes saddened. "Do you want me to leave?" she asked softly.

I suddenly become furious at myself for causing the hurt in her eyes. As patient and understanding as she'd been with me lately, she did not deserve that look on her face. "No, of course not," I said adamantly, moving back from the threshold. "Come inside."

She remained motionless on the porch, undoubtedly because of my own initial reaction rather than her own hesitancy. I held my hand out for her to take and softened my features.

"Please."

Bella accepted my hand and joined me inside the house. Releasing her hand from my mine, she stepped a couple paces ahead before turning around again to face me again. "Where's everyone else?" she wondered as I closed the door front door.

"Out. It's just us."

I wondered if her knowledge of us being the only ones in the house would cause her to finally become leery of me, but her expression did not display any concern. As usual, it seemed I was the only one to be unsure, and it bothered me to feel any insecurity, especially after our successful night together. I knew it needed to stop.

"Come here," I beckoned softly and reached for her, gently pulling her into an embrace. "I'm sorry, I was just surprised to see you here. I didn't think we'd be alone for the first time without knowing about it first. But it's fine. I didn't mean to make you feel like you should leave."

"I understand, Edward, it's okay," Bella replied with an encouraging smile.

Her growling stomach decided to join the conversation.

"Hungry?" I smiled, thankful for the relief.

"I guess I am," she laughed shyly. "I haven't eaten anything since the Cheerios I had this morning."

We went into the kitchen and I fixed her a sandwich with a glass of orange juice. She ate while standing by the kitchen counter and we engaged in some casual conversation. Jasper's absence made me positive that my feelings were my own, and I was relieved that I wasn't feeling like I was a danger toward Bella. However, I still had trouble trying to ignore the elephant in the room. I waited until there was nothing but crumbs left on her plate to address it.

"Bella, I just need to know, are you concerned at all about being completely alone with me right now?"

Bella finished what was left in her glass, then set it down. It clinked loudly as it met the granite counter top, making me look at it. Truthfully it was simply an excuse to avert my eyes from hers. My insecurity was beginning to embarrass even myself.

"I was in Port Angeles today," she stated.

Those two words automatically stirred up memories from last year that I would rather have forgotten. I frowned at the reminder of the vile intentions those men had toward Bella, but didn't interrupt, curious as to why she was saying this in response to my question.

"Well, I drove through on my way back," she clarified, picking up her empty dish in one hand, and the glass in the other. Walking to the other side of the kitchen, she lowered them into the sink and looked out the window above it. The creeping clouds had huddled together and turned the white sky to charcoal. She continued to stare outside as she spoke. "Just passing through made me think about how you rescued me last year from those creepy guys. You remember?"

How could I forget? I nodded as she watched me through my reflection in the window.

"My point is that I feel safe around you. You've always been there for me, protected me... How could I possibly ever think of you as a threat?"

Her comment moved me. I walked over and hugged her into my body, resting my cheek against her temple.

"I trust you, Edward. I think it's time you start trusting yourself," she said softly.

"You're right," I whispered.

Could I really just dive in? Could it be that easy? I started off by testing the waters...

Sweeping Bella's long hair to one side, I gently placed my lips to the nape of her neck and let them linger there. Testing myself, searching for a warning sign that I should stop, I waited... No red flags appeared, so I pushed further ahead. I breathed in the sweet scent of her hair and gently kissed her warm skin. Her soft sighing encouraged me to forge a trail further upward, and I buried my mouth into the small crook behind her ear. I felt her shiver in my arms. Her hands rose up to my forearm and her fingers tightened against it as she held me more securely against herself. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head to the side, allowing more access to the skin that warmed my lips, while her very essence warmed my heart within my chest.

Simply holding her and feeling how relaxed she was inside my embrace had more of a calming effect on me than anything Jasper had fabricated for me. I became completely enraptured by the magic of her. I watched her with wonderment, and began to reflect on myself. If Bella was able to be so confident, why shouldn't I as well? I didn't know why it was so hard to accept her unwavering trust in me, but if a little self-confidence was all it took to fully embrace happiness then maybe I should try harder in attaining it. Take the risk, a leap of faith... Instead of expecting the worst, perhaps it was time to expect the best.

"You know, I couldn't have reached this point without you, Bella. You can't begin to understand how grateful I am to you," I explained, watching her beautiful face in the window. "Things are better now. I can feel it," I added, and kissed the side of her head.

She opened her eyes again and smiled at me. "You don't have to convince me, Edward. I trust you," she reiterated. "I always have."

"I know you have," I said, brushing my lips against her skin as I spoke.

I decided then and there to grab hold of what should rightfully be mine, and if I was going to trust myself, I was going to take the biggest leap of faith I could think of...

I spun her around in my arms until she faced me, and tilted her head upward by her chin. Her skin was like silk against my hand. I stole a moment to sweep my fingers downward along her neck to further enjoy its smooth texture. After the momentary distraction, I returned my gaze back to hers and smiled lazily.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you..." I mused.

I began to slowly walk against her, causing her to step backward with me until her body met the wall.

"Bella, if you're still willing to give yourself to me, wholly and completely, I would gladly have you."

She looked at me reticently with a small smile playing at her lips. "What are you saying?" she wondered, despite the growing comprehension that was apparent in her eyes.

It was difficult to tear my focus from her parted lips which she licked over nervously. There was nothing that could change my mind now. All I requested was her consent.

"You know what I'm saying," I replied, and slipped my hand underneath the hem of her shirt on the side of her waist. She flinched as my cold fingers came into contact with the bare skin. "I promised that we would do something before I changed you."

She stared at me as she visibly realized what I was suggesting. "But what about—"

I shook my head, disregarding her unspoken concerns, knowing that she was about to address her own promise to marry me first.

"I know I said that I wanted us to be married first. And I would still like to wait until after before I change you. But for the rest... well... I don't want to wait any longer," I looked at her insistently, needing to show her I was more than serious. "I love you. I want you. Right now." And with those words, I sealed her mouth with mine with an intensity I had been reluctant to test in the past.

Bella responded as I hoped she would, kissing me back eagerly, gripping onto the side of my arms, but after a short moment she pulled back slightly, drawing in a sharp breath in surprise as our lips briefly parted. She peered into my eyes as if waiting to see if I would change my mind, but I kept my determination apparent in my expression.

She nodded, and wove her fingers through the hair at the back of my head.

"You have me," she conceded with a whisper.

-

-

Surrender. There was nothing sweeter than to give in to my heart's desires. I had ignored its pleas for far too long.

I took Bella to my bedroom and shut the door behind us. One by one, our discarded clothing fell to the ground like the last of autumn's leaves until Bella stood bared before me, timidly peering into my eyes. With my hands on her hips, I fell to my knees in front of her beautiful pure form, and tenderly brought my face against her stomach. I sighed at the discovery of how soft her skin felt against my mouth. Combing her fingers back through my hair, Bella encouraged my discovery. I noted her every reaction, from the smallest sigh, to how her stomach muscles tightened when I painstakingly dragged my bottom lip across her skin. She was fascinating, and I wanted to know more.

Sweeping upward with my lips, I explored every inch of her newly discovered skin until I was standing again. Nudging the bridge of my nose beneath her chin, I tilted her head upward with it to kiss affectionately along her throat. My lips found the soft skin where her neck met her jaw, and I instinctively lingered there.

Not long ago, I had told her that I was afraid of her pulse, but as I felt it thrumming wildly against my mouth, the desires I craved as a vampire, were overruled by what I craved as a man. A smile escaped me with my revelation, and I knew in that moment that I had nothing to fear.

Laying her down on the bed, I lowered my body down against her warm bare flesh, resting myself between her thighs. I felt an aching in my chest like never before; a love so intense it verged on pain. Years of practiced restraint and caution, thrown to the wind for a chance to express my love how I craved to. Though I had nothing to prove, I wanted to show her that I was capable of loving her the way any normal man could love his woman. With no fear, no danger. Bella deserved it, and she made me feel like it was possible.

I looked into her eyes with silent question, and she nodded her consent.

Finally daring to push forward, I joined our bodies as one. Bella drew in a sharp breath at our union and expelled it shakily, causing me to become motionless above her.

"Am I hurting you?" I whispered worriedly.

After a short pause, Bella shook her head and placed her hands at either side of my face. "You could never hurt me," she whispered back, and with a slight lift of her hips, she urged me to move.

A wordless conversation then proceeded between us. Through timid smiles and breathy sighs, soft yet eager touches, we took each other to a place completely new to both of us. Conscious of my movements, I was careful with her delicate form, and we soon fell into a comfortable tempo. Her fingers entwined with mine and she squeezed my hands spasmodically in contrast to our rhythmic pace.

Completely intoxicated, I clung to her, attempting to be even closer than physically possible. To know her this way was rapturous. Her heated skin, slick with a thin sheen moisture rose to gooseflesh simultaneously. Hot and cold, her body could not decide what to feel. It mesmerized me.

Her fingers curled into my shoulder blades, then balled into fists as she hugged my body into herself, urgently pulling at me with the insides of her wrists. Neither of us could get close enough to the other.

"Edward..." My name rushed past her lips in a heavy breath against my face and I sucked her bottom lip eagerly into my mouth, swallowing her verbal ecstasy.

Bella had become nearly breathless despite our slow rhythmic pace throughout. She lay spent beneath me, her bottom lip clamped in between her teeth as she attempted to regulate her breathing. I rested myself against her and just held her sweetly, feeling her hot breath tickle my shoulder.

This was the definition of bliss.

Her wild heartbeat reverberated against my chest, making it feel as if it were my own. I lifted my head from her shoulder to peer deeply into her eyes.

"Is this what it's like to feel alive? It's been so long..." I sighed.

My angel just smiled at me and my heart could not take it anymore. I was right... Our love surpassed the doubts and fears, and my leap of faith had proven to be more than worth the risk.

I reveled in the moment, and bent to press my mouth against her swollen lips. I kissed her with a newfound eagerness and desire that displayed thankfulness and relief. She responded the same way, and with an added passion that rose faster than her quick breaths.

"I love you," she panted into my mouth.

My already heightened senses were laden with pleasure and I was flooded by every essence that was Bella. It was like I could taste her love; see it, breathe it, hear it, feel it... And it was glorious... The sweet flowery aroma of her bed-messed hair; the softness of her lips as they danced with mine. The sigh in her voice that escaped from her mouth in the fraction of a second when our lips parted between each kiss. But the most exhilarating part of it all, was the faint flavor of her blood that found its way onto my tongue.

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A/N: Comments are greatly appreciated. Please leave one!