Author: Sorry it took so long guys, I was kind of stuck on this chapter. I wasn't sure where to go with it, but I'm hoping this meets your expectations.
Luigi: HELP ME! WARIO AND WALUIGI ARE AFTER ME!
Author: Cool it Luigi! Anyway, if you guys have any ideas for the next chapter please let me know I kind of need it.
Luigi: Didn't you hear me!? Wario and Waluigi are coming here!
Author: Luigi, stop freaking out!
Wario: Ah-ha! So this where you went!
Waluigi: You're ours now you little punk!
Luigi: MAMA MIA!
Chapter 12: Planning Ahead
So now I find myself staring face-to-face with the Wario Brothers. This is so not good for me, what if they recognize me?
"Calm down bro, it doesn't look like they recognize you." I heard Mario said before I snapped out of my shocked stupor and notice they didn't even look at me… typical, they don't spare a glance on someone they think is worthless.
"We need your future seeing magic thing to tell us how to steal those treasure in the castle, now that the princess and the annoying Mario Brothers are gone missing we're going to take advantage of every second of it!" Wario said with that greedy smile on his face.
"Yeah, so hurry up and tell us what we want to know!" Waluigi demanded from Merlon and I glared at them.
"Hey, that's enough you two, leave him alone. You shouldn't be stealing the royal treasury in the first place." I scolded them and that's when they finally looked at me, but in annoyance… just like every time we meet.
"Who are you wise guy? You should just mind your own business before you get hurt!" Waluigi snapped at me and I cringed before backing away… yeah they always scared me.
"You fancy boy in the green and black… you look like a criminal like us… and you look familiar." Wario said sounding intrigued… uh-oh.
"You better say something bro!" Mario quickly warned me.
"I-I get that a lot, but really I'm just an innocent bystander who just wants to uh… make sure things are going well in the world." I said a bit awkwardly.
"Oh what was that?" Mario groaned. Hey! I'm doing the best I can on such short notice!
"So you're just a traveler? Well then you look like a potential great thief… but we'll need to break you first." Wario said with a sinister smile.
"What are you doing bro? We don't want anyone else to get the share!" Waluigi hissed at him.
"Oh shut up! We may need… 'extra help' for our little plan and we won't need that old geezer with him." Wario smirked and I couldn't help but get a bad feeling about this.
Merlon looked over at me and said, "Go with them for I have seen the future and it is your mission to teach them a lesson is it not?"
I gulped and nodded… talking to a guy who could see the future is really weird and a bit nerve racking. Still, he's right; this is a great opportunity to see what Wario and Waluigi are up to, but could I pull this off? I mean I'm not exactly the greatest actor in the world.
"Stop being so negative bro, you can do it." I heard Mario trying to reassure me.
I swallowed my doubts and fears and turned to the two greedy brothers, "Um… well if you really need some help then I guess I could do something."
Wario gave me that nasty sly smile, "Glad to have you on board then… what's your name? The Green Bandit?"
Waluigi smirked, "No, more like the Green Bandana!"
They were making fun of me I see, how typical, even when they don't know it's me they still tease me. I glared at them but calm down when I felt sparks of electricity building my gloved hands… I don't want to hurt them… at least not yet.
"Just call me Mr. L, gentlemen." I said calmly though inwardly I was still freaking out.
Waluigi sneered, "Well then, Mr. L-oser, come with us. We need to discuss our plans involving you."
"I'm sure you do." I said with a small frown. Of course now I was forced into Wario and Waluigi's scheme, there's no way I'm going to help them rob the royal treasury, what am I supposed to do?
"Look, don't panic, just keep an eye on them and when they try to steal them… fight back."
I blinked, Fight back? But isn't that against what I'm trying to do?
"Your mission is to teach them a lesson, which means being brutal to them, not hang out with them. I think working with them and then stopping them at the last second like an undercover cop or something would be fun bro."
Before I could reply, big fat Wario grabbed my arms and dragged me with him and Waluigi out of Merlon's house. The Toads in Toad Town were watching us with curiosity, but many of them were either afraid of Wario and Waluigi or showed pity for me, the guy who's being dragged into their harebrained schemes. Yeah, that's always me…
"Come on, hurry up! To the mansion, but do not touch anything!" Wario hissed as he dragged me to his solid gold mansion. You know, he has plenty of money, why does he want to keep stealing more?
"He's really greedy that way. Wario can never have enough gold or money." I mentally groaned in agreement. I've known these two since I was a baby, they're always picking on me and making me cry, if it wasn't for Mario… well I don't even want to think about it.
As soon as Wario and Waluigi set me down in a small and uncomfortable chair, while they settle down in big and really comfortable couches, they went right on to business.
Wario gave me that greedy smile, "Now then, we have the newbie we must be teach before tonight. We'll raid that castle now that the goodie-goodie two shoe plumbers are out of the way and the princess too."
"But what about the guards?" I asked a bit too timidly.
Waluigi laughed as if I just said something ridiculous, "Guards, what guards? They may look tough and proud, but as soon as something bad happen they start running around, screaming like headless chickens. They won't be a problem at all."
I hate to admit it; but they're right about that. Toads, even the guard Toads, are very timid and easy to scare, even more than me. How many times have Princess Peach been kidnapped by Bowser or someone else? Seriously she needs better security!
"I keep telling her that but she doesn't have the heart to fire them." I heard Mario sigh in my head… of course, he loves her so he couldn't really argue about it with her for long before he cracks.
Wario's voice brought me back to reality, "The ones we have to really worry about are the guard Chomps. If we can get past them it's treasure season for the two of us!"
"Two?" I glared at them already knowing they never planned to include me in the cut, not like they're going to get any anyway if I have something to say about it. Still… I do not like the idea of fighting them.
Wario nodded, "Yeah, me and Waluigi. Look, no offense Mr. L, but you're just a newbie pawn to us right now. Maybe if you do a good job I'll throw you a piece of cold coin."
I rolled myself, only a very desperate sucker would agree to that and even then they would most likely refuse it anyway. Thankfully I'm not doing it for the money or the treasure. "Fine, whatever, so what's the plan?"
Waluigi smirked, "We found ourselves a really good one bro, he's actually willing to go through with this."
I can hear you, you insensitive idiotic stick man. I could hear Mario laughing in my head and mentally rolled my eyes at him.
Wario, the fat greedy lard, decided to tell me the plan, "Okay, here's what we have in mind; we roll you in barbeque sauce, dump raw meat on you and have the Chomps go after you. While you distract them, my brother and I will take the treasure and come back here. If you're still alive you can come here too."
"That would be a terrific plan if it weren't for one little thing… ARE YOU NUTS!? THOSE CHOMPS WOULD GOBBLE ME UP WHOLE BEFORE EITHER OF YOU CAN EVEN GET IN THE CASTLE!"
My sudden outburst caused the two to fall off the couch and stare at me like I was some crazy maniac. But seriously they are cruel, greedy, heartless scumbags that it just makes me was to explode!
"… Wow, for such a skinny little man you sure have a loud voice." Waluigi grumbled.
I blushed from my sudden outburst, but still I didn't take any of it back. "Well I just wanted you to know that plan would only get me killed and nothing more."
Wario then glared, "You don't tell us what's a good or bad idea little man!"
Of course, he likes being in charge, so if I talk back then I'm in trouble even if it's true. Between these two lunkheads I'm surprised they got rich to begin with.
"Wario's been like that since he was a baby. The Yoshis even told me that he would use a giant magnet just to attract gold coins." Mario chuckled.
"But don't you have any better ideas that don't suggest I'm disposable?" I asked trying to stay on their good side until the right moment I can strike.
Waluigi shook his head, "That's our perfect idea, but nooo, you don't want to go with it, baby. You're almost as bad as our whiny cousin Luigi."
I glared and finally said, "Look, how about we actually sneak into the castle without getting ourselves caught? We can throw steak or something to distract the Chomps, that way nobody has to get hurt!"
"You're no fun." Waluigi grumbled.
"But it's doable." Wario said in agreement to my surprise, but then he whispered something to Waluigi. I knew they were probably planning on ditching me and feeding me to the Chomps. I was only here to be bait for them and that's it; I'm not supposed to gain any cuts from them.
"Then we'll strike tonight, better be there, Mr. L-oser." Waluigi sneered as they pushed me out of the mansion… good riddance.
"So what are you going to do now?"
I'm going to head for the castle. I need to see if anything's change with Princess Peach gone and maybe set up a little trap for the Greedy Brothers myself. I couldn't help but smirk at the idea. Mouzchu and Mishi taught me well in the art of pranks.
So I headed into Toad Town and directly to the castle. I saw a lot of Toad guards, but like Wario and Waluigi had said; they're pretty easy to scare even if they try to be brave and stand their ground. Still, I didn't come here to scare them.
"Halt stranger! Unauthorized entry is strictly forbidden!" one guard warned.
"I'm here to see Princess Peach." I said calmly.
"Sorry, but the Princess is currently missing. You must come back later." the guard replied.
"Oh? She's missing? Isn't anyone looking for her?"
"We've got search parties all over the Mushroom Kingdom, in search of her Majesty and the Mario Brothers. They have all gone missing in the span of a month." the guard replied.
"I see, so even the Marios have gone missing too… in that case wouldn't someone try to take advantage of their absences?" I started off.
"Bowser's been reported missing too, so I don't think so." he said confidently… wow, are they really that incompetent?
"Bro, that wasn't very nice…"
I inwardly rolled my eyes. Okay yes I've always been the nice guy but that doesn't mean I always think everything is nice.
"Yeah but… what if someone other than Bowser try to take over? Like some other troublemakers like Tatanga or the Wario Brothers?" I suggested… more like baited.
"… We haven't really thought about it." he admitted.
At least he's not totally clueless and incompetent. "Exactly and it's that kind of ill prepared attitude that Princess Peach always gets kidnapped. Maybe instead of always relying on Mario for everything you should try to become better security." Okay, maybe that was a little forward but hey it's the truth.
The guard gave me a look of disbelief, "Sir, I don't know who you are but you don't have the right to tell us what we can and can't do! You're not the boss of us stranger!"
I sighed… yeah, they're pretty proud for people who run around like headless chicken whenever danger arises. "I'm not trying to boss you around I'm just trying to give you some helpful advice. Listen, the Wario Brothers are no doubt planning to rob the royal treasury tonight and-" but of course I was interrupted.
"Ha! Impossible! The royal treasury is under heavy duty guard! No stupid fat tub of lard and a stick man is going to rob us, especially with the Princess and Mario away!"
"Yes, well, ever thought maybe they might get around your 'heavy duty guard'? People can adapt so you must learn to adapt with them or you can never truly be prepared."
"Uh… okay… you've got a point there. Perhaps it couldn't hurt to learn a few new things. What's your name?"
"Call me Mr. L." I said proudly… yeah, now I'm being proud by that name that I thought stupid and dorky when Nastasia assigned it to me.
"Wow, it almost sounds like you're changing bro… inside and out… should I be worried?"
Oh you worry too much bro I'm fine.
Although, secretly, I am worried myself… I haven't been acting like myself lately and I'm sure that's not natural.
"Okay, Mr. L… I'm going to go get our head Toad. You could talk to Toadsworth about your idea, we could use all the help we can get. But I must warn you… the old senile Toad is pretty overprotective and very strict, especially of new faces."
"Don't worry I'm sure I can talk to him." After all I'm not exactly a new face, even if he doesn't know it.
So the guard Toad told me to wait out here while he went to get Toadsworth. I didn't have to wait long because I soon heard Toadsworth's loud voice.
"You're considering taking advice from am complete stranger? Outrageous! Where is your dignity!?"
"But sir he brought up some good advice!"
"I don't care what he said! No stranger is going to tell us what to do, especially with the princess gone!"
"Sir, just give him a chance!"
"Yup, that's Toadsworth alright." I heard my brother chuckle.
Suddenly the door slung open, almost hitting me, and an angry Toadsworth glared at me with that hot head of his. "What do you want here? We don't take orders from strangers especially in dire times like this!"
I better turn on the charm; Toadsworth is more stubborn than a Yoshi on a bad day when he gets this way. "I apologize for my rude behavior Toadsworth sir, but I couldn't help but notice the situation this lovely town has been lately. You see, I'm a traveler and when I heard this Princess Peach has been missing I knew I had to do something for the kindness of these people. I heard two troublemakers by the name of Wario and Waluigi are planning to raid the royal treasury tonight."
"Non-sense! The treasury is guarded by well-trained Chomps. Now scram!" of course getting him to agree with me is going to be harder than I thought.
"Sir, please, if you don't learn to adapt then you're always going to get robbed and taken advantage of. I'm sure your fair maiden Princess wouldn't be too happy when she finally comes back to see the place was in ruins because of a stubborn old Toad who isn't willing to listen."
Toadsworth then snapped, "Stubborn old Toad? Why you… you younger generations are nothing but trouble! If I was younger I would show you a thing or two!"
"Please just listen to me sir, I mean you no disrespect but you really should try a better method here." I held up my hand before he could protest again. "Since they didn't know me I pretended to go along with their plan, Wario and Waluigi told me everything. They can get past your Chomps, so you need to get prepared before tonight when they strike. I'll do what I can to help but I'm going to need your cooperation to pull it off successfully."
Toadsworth stopped yelling but gave me a close look, "How do I know I can trust you boy? You certainly don't look innocent."
That kind of hit me… no I don't look innocent… not like Luigi at all… I look like an evil version of Luigi, not that anyone seems to notice for some reason.
"Looks can be deceiving you know. Just because I look like a bandit doesn't mean I am one… I just happen to like green and black."
Then Toadsworth said, "You look… familiar… have we met before young man? I know I've seen that face before but it's hard to tell with that mask on. What is your name?"
Wow, someone actually noticed, but he still didn't get it. "No I don't believe we have met before, but I am Mr. L, the Green Thunder!" I couldn't help but strike a pose there.
"Interesting name for an 'innocent bystander'." he said suspiciously… okay, maybe adding 'The Green Thunder' with my fake name was not the best idea.
"Eh, it's just something I added to make myself cool, nothing more, honestly." I said quickly hoping he would buy that. "So anyway, are you going to cooperate or not?"
"Are you absolutely sure those troublesome Wario Brothers are going to strike here tonight and that they have a way around our defenses?"
"That's right." It looks like he's finally coming around.
"… Very well, if you could stop them you have our cooperation. But I'm keeping my eyes on you. I'm still not convinced you can be fully trusted." Toadsworth finally said and I mentally sighed in relief.
"Oh don't worry… you don't have to trust me just work with me." I said with a sly grin that just snuck onto my face as I walked away.
"Wow bro, you sure do make a good mystery man. Maybe you should get a job as an actor or something."
Yeah, they make more money than plumbing. I mentally chuckled.
So I guess all I can do now is wait patiently for night to come and then… when the moment is right… I strike, but until then… I'm going to enjoy a nice leisurely stroll in Toad Town.
This is… a bit awkward… Toads are looking over at me like some alien or something… but this also feels kind of cool, it's like I'm the new talk in town or something. It's been what almost a month since we've gone 'missing'? Yeah, man it sure feels good to be back even if it's not myself exactly.
Well after about an hour or two Mario finally woke up and disappeared from my head. Too bad I needed the company… even if he was just a voice in my head. Still, I have to get prepared for the plan, Wario and Waluigi will be expecting me soon and I have to make sure they're caught.
Still… just letting them get caught and arrested is way too easy and nice, they deserve something more… destructive. After all the pain and suffering they put me through the years just simply arresting them like that is just too easy! I need to bloody beat them, taunt them until their years bleed, my hands are itching to fry their insides.
No, no, no! Stop thinking those thoughts! My hands were sparking and I noticed my face must've looked scary because some of the locals ran inside their houses and lock the doors in fright… not that I blame them. I would run and hide too if I suddenly saw a man dressed in black with a vengeful look on his face with electricity sparking out from his hands. Argh! What is wrong with me lately? Mario kept me calm but now that he's gone I've been having these twisted thoughts again!
Okay just focus! I can't freak out now. Stick with the plan, get them arrested and that's it, no hurting or killing them out of revenge. I'm not that kind of person and I never will be!
So that night I waited near the castle knowing Wario and Waluigi will be there. I was nervous, I know I shouldn't be but I feel like I'm actually a part of this horrible crime.
"Oh good so glad to see you didn't bail out last second." Wario smirked.
"At least you're not a coward." Waluigi snickered.
I couldn't help but glare back… we'll see who's the coward soon. So once we walk in there the plan for revenge will soon begin… I mean to arrest them, not revenge! … What's happening to me?
End of Chapter
Author: Oh poor Luigi, it seems the other side is showing himself more and more frequently.
Luigi: How can there be 'another side' of me? I'm still me! Nastasia never brainwashed me or anything!
Author: Everyone has a dark side my dear Luigi, yours is just coming out more due to being in a dark place for too long.
Luigi: Oh yeah, that explains everything. (sarcasm)
Author: I know you're angry that Wario and Waluigi found you here but at least they didn't beat you up.
Luigi: No, they just humiliated me and then left me hanging on a freaking MOUNTAIN!
Author: Er... we'll see you later folks! And remember, if you have any ideas where to go with this I'll be listening.
