Punk chapter: 1 person PoV Warnings: Slash, Profanity. text like this is a date on Punk's calendar text like this is Colt's reply
June Fifteenth
Payback, Chi-Town
Have a good match, Punkers!
Idiot, you'll be there!
I know but... REASONS! xoxo
Have a good match? It was passable, solely passable. I don't think I'm ready to be back yet, I don't feel ready, I feel...
Like you'd rather not have to leave tonight, like you'd rather curl up in bed with Colt and tell them to go fuck themselves, Punk?
That would be exactly it, Life.
"Hey." I'd also like to practice this whole kissing with no lip-ring thing some more.
"So, what'd you think?"
"Well... The crowd were into it."
"Cabana." Honest answer, Colt, no fobbing off, no weaselling out of it.
"It was good. We could have done better though." Ha, I don't even remember the last time we were in a ring together.
"Hmm, it's been forever since we were in the ring together."
"You think it's still set up?" Yes! I want to see if we're still good together or not, it better be still there. They're usually pretty lazy about taking it down at the end of the night.
"Maybe... Wanna go see?"
July third
M.I.T.B., Philly
Don't eat the pizza, its shit!
I know, I lived there, remember!
I do. :(
Idiot. xoxo
Are you okay? - Boom Boom Colt Cabana 23:49
How many stitches are there? - Boom Boom Colt Cabana 23:51
Can you take a call? - Boom Boom Colt Cabana 23:54
Are you not going to answer him, Punk?
Wait for it. In five, four, three, two, one...
"Punkers! Are you okay? The bleeding stopped? That looked so bad. You don't have a concussion, right? How many staples? Are you coming home to rest?"
"Hello, Colt." See, no need to reply, mother hen Cabana will call in a panic. "I'm okay, mostly, it was, no, wait yes maybe, you worded that weird, thirteen and no."
"You're okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good, tired but good."
Mother hen indeed, he worries.
He fusses.
Don't even pretend you don't like it, Punk.
I love it, so fuck you.
"Okay, I worry."
"I know, I know. So what'd you think?"
"It was good, though, honestly? The other ladder match was better." It was really, the younger guys are hungrier, I guess.
The past versus the future, and the future won, huh Punk?
The future should always win, Life.
Very philosophical, Punk.
"Fuck you! I was amazing!"
"You pantsied the white guy... Whatshisface?"
Poor Stephen, he took some hard bumps too, that match took a toll on all of us. I'd forgotten about his trunks though.
I imagine the Internet will not.
"Sheamus?"
"The guy that's so white, he probably bleeds white-out?" I don't even, where the fuck do you come up with this stuff?
"Sheamus. If it makes you feel any better, I didn't mean to." No one wants to see that ass, it's blindingly white.
Again, the Internet, Punk.
"Hmm. So you feuding with Heyman now?"
"That's what they tell me. Lesnar at Summer Slam, so that'll be fun."
"Oh fuck, I'll buy icepacks and icyhot." I'm not sure if that's a lack of faith in me or Lesnar.
Both, Lesnar works stiff and you're too much of an idiot to ask him to be more careful, Punk.
"And butterscotch pudding, I swear, if I find one more chocolate one in the fridge, you're sleeping on the couch."
"Yeah, yeah. You know you'd be right there too, Punkers. Empty threat, if ever I heard one."
The idiot makes a point, Punk.
"Hmm. What you up to?"
"Nothing, well no, I'm supposed to be going to bed, got shit to do tomorrow."
"I can go."
"No!" No? "I mean, I... Is it fucking hard for you to sleep without me too?"
"You have no idea." Hard, isn't even the word, its borderline impossible.
"It get any easier?" Colt, you have no idea how much I want to be home right now, how much I just want to make sure you're okay, you sound so tired, it's not like you. I don't want you getting weird anthropomorphised versions of things talking to you as well.
One lunatic per relationship, Punk, you'll need to enforce that rule if you're not careful with him.
"No. It's only a year though, it's nothing. We'll manage, right?"
"Course! When you home next?"
"Later in the week." For like a whole day, I'm so lucky. There's a saying about burning candles at both ends that I think is applicable here.
It's long enough for you both to get some sleep and to buy some food for your idiot, though.
True, fuck knows we don't him cooking!
"Hmm, well okay. You gonna be able to sleep?"
"Colt, are you gonna be able to sleep?" Don't you laugh at me, you sound like a zombie. "You in bed?"
"Yeah... Punkers, I'll be fine. Don't worry." Liar, liar, Colton.
"I won't if you don't lie to me. Go to bed, Cabana."
"How'd-"
"Bed! Stop arguing." How did I know, idiot, you can't lie to me.
"Okay, okay. I'm in bed like a good Colt. You happy now?"
"No." But there's nothing that we can do about it, I'm not home till later, when I'm home, I'll be happy.
"Punkers..."
"Don't worry about it, okay. Relax, lemme tell you about the adventures of Catering."
July Fifteenth
Raw, Brooklyn - Lesnar... Ice please?
You gonna be home?
Lesnar'll undoubtedly break me, I'll be home.
OK! I'll get a nurse's uniform ready!
I don't know what to say to that...
"Colt, you home?" Please be home, I killed my ankle getting up the stairs.
"Punkers? I wasn't expecting you home so soon." Are you wearing an apron? What the fuck do you get up to when I'm not here?
By the smell of things, he's engaging freelance cremations, Punk.
"You see Raw?"
"Nope. Why's your ankle taped? Lesnar?"
"Uh-huh. Carry me?" Please, this really hurts.
Aww, he carries you like a blushing bride, how cute.
I hate you, Life, you know this right?
Voice in your head, Punk. Hate me, hate yourself.
"What you doing?"
"Uh... Practicing. Here okay? You need a stool or something for your leg?" You're destroying the kitchen. You better not have burnt the big pot, I need that pot, it's the most useful thing in the house.
"Whatever it is you're practicing, smells like its burning."
I think he's trying to make chilli... He really does miss you, huh.
Chilli should not smell like this and of course, he misses me, he loves me.
You sound terribly smug, finally accepted that have we?
"Nah, that was the first attempt. This one is going better, well so far anyways. Here, try it."
August eighteenth
Summer Slam, L.A. Insert witty comment here, Colt, I'm too tired...
I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down as the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire
Holy Shit Punkers! MOTY! That was incredible! I'm so proud of you! BUT do I need to play nurse? - Boom Boom Colt Cabana 00:02
You seem awfully keen to wear a dress, Colt. There something you're not telling me? - sent 00:06
I still have my fairy costume. ;) - Boom Boom Colt Cabana 00:09
And you do look so good in pink, Punkers. - Boom Boom Colt Cabana 00:10
Wait, I thought you wanted t wear a dress... I don't even... Good night, Cabana. ZZZ - sent 00:14
Love you. - sent 00:15
I love you more! More than I love... Something else that I love... I actually can't think of anything comparable... Damn it, I'm not tired but I can't think of a good way to keep you wake! Well I can but you know... You're working tomorrow. When you home next? I miss you, Punkers. - Boom Boom Colt Cabana 00:19
"Colt."
"Yes, Punkers?"
"You in bed?"
"Yes, Punkers."
"Good, now go to sleep."
September twenty-sixth
Happy anniversary!
Anniversary?
1st date was a year ago!
Really?
Yeah! Love you Punkers!
Idiot... I love you too.
"Here."
"What's this?"
"It's clearly a cake, Cabana. Are you blind? Open it!"
"Punkers?"
"What?" Too much?
Well, it's a very symbolic cake, Punk.
It's not that symbolic, mostly it's just delicious, Life.
It's a cake in the shape of a lemon with I love Colt written on it, I'd say that counts as symbolic.
Maybe a little.
"I love you too."
October sixth
Battleground, Buffalo - They've still not taught him how to wrestle.
I'll get ice, Punkers.
"You wanna do some more?" Marty?
"Hmm, probably gonna need a few more to choose from. Sorry, I've been shit. Got a lot on my mind." Wait if Marty's here, why is Colt stroking my hair? I thought we'd agreed to put off telling people we were together till I'd retired.
"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's to do with Punk." Well, I guess, Marty knowing isn't too bad. Maybe we should talk about this some more, telling more people might be an idea.
"Well, he's my best friend and he's sick." With the exciting mystery illness of doom. I swear, the fucking hospital has more of my blood than I do.
"Colt, don't bullshit me, man."
"Ha, what gave us away?" I concur!
You do realise that most people more than likely know and give zero fucks, right Punk?
Huh, we've not told anyone, there's no way for anyone to know for sure. There's no reason to assume we're together.
"You living together? The weird recreation of your living room in his place? You petting him like a kitty while he's sleeping on the couch? The fact that you stare at him like a fourteen-year-old girl at her crush? Pick one."
Those would be the reasons, Punk.
"Fuck you, DeRosa." Witty comeback, Colt! Does he really stare at me like that?
Constantly!
"Oh, don't worry, he's just as bad!" Hey! Don't you laugh at me, DeRosa! "The hand holding, the snuggling, the puppy eyes... The other half thinks it's cute, she wants you to come to dinner."
"If she wants dinner, she can come here, I'll cook." I do not look at Colt with puppy eyes! The snuggling and handholding, I can't really deny, but there are no puppy eyes!
Again, constantly, Punk... You have no idea how obvious you two are, it's like you both forget that the rest of the World is there, watching in bemusement as you're both ridiculously cute with each other.
"Hey, didn't mean to wake you up, Punkers. You okay? Still tired? The doctor said you should rest more, so go back to sleep, hmm."
"I'm good, a little, kiss me?"
My point exactly, Punk. You wake up, the first thing he does is turn to you and the first thing you do is ignore everything else and kiss him.
"I'm... Uh... Gonna grab a sandwich, I'll be back in a bit, okay? Colt?" Does he really need acknowledgement; I'm enjoying this kiss. "Colt?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever, Marty. In a bit, yeah?"
October twenty-sixth
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUNKERS! :-*
"They're giving you a match with Ryback as a birthday present? That's cruel and unusual punishment surely?" Unlike your birthday present, which is incredibly normal, dinner in some nice restaurant, full of people carefully trying to not look like they're looking at us, even though they are and taking pictures.
The price of fame, Punk.
I'm not famous though, I'm just a guy who pretends to fight people for a living.
For the biggest company in the pretend fighting industry. You can't humble brag in your own head, you know.
"I guess, but you're here to look after me, right?"
"Course, Punkers, nowhere else I'm gonna be, if they're gonna let that sloppy fucker near you."
You realise you're wearing that sappy I love you smile in public these days now, right Punk?
What sappy I love you smile?
You distinctly lack self-awareness, you have this little sappy smile that only he gets, the longer this relationship goes on the more you wear it.
I do?
"Excuse me, uh... Mr Punk?" Small child, with paper, great.
"Yes?" Small child with an envelope, not paper, and a nervous disposition, my reputation freaks out small children now.
You are an asshole, Punk.
"Happy birthday, Mr Punk." Don't fucking laugh at me and take pictures, Cabana. "You gonna beat Cryback tomorrow, aren't you Punk?" Stop laughing at me, asshole.
"I am." Here kid have some cake, I don't think we're supposed to have it in here anyways, may as well share it with small children.
"You gonna beat that walrus too?" Poor Paul, that is just kind of mean.
"Yup." And he'll ask me to be gentle again. The way he carries on, you'd think he didn't like being smacked with a stick.
"Hey kid, you going to the show too?" Thank you for tagging in, finally, Cabana.
"Uh-huh, me and my mommy and my daddy! We've got seats right at the front! It's my first show-"
"I'm so sorry, he's a big fan." Finally, the mother shows up! Now, what's in this envelope? Hey a birthday card! This is kind of cute.
"Huh, no worries. He's a good kid." With either impressive or shit artistic skills, impressive if this is supposed to be a Picasso, a bit shit if it's meant to be me.
He's all of six, Punk.
"Look Mom! I got Punk cake!"
"Well, technically it was pizza cake but let's not quibble." Delicious pizza cake, Cabana, tell them the truth, cake with so much frosting that kid isn't gonna sleep for a month.
"C'mon, I'm sorry again." Ha, really we should be sorry, he's gonna be on a sugar high all night.
"Bye kid! Thank you for the card!"
"Good luck, Punk!"
"Hmm, I guess that kid doesn't know luck is for losers, huh Punkers?"
"Scott."
"What did I do?"
"Huh?" You didn't do anything.
"You Scott'ed me."
"What no, that's the kid's name. See To Punk Happy Birthday From Scott."
"Hmm, definitely not me, there'd be more kisses if it was."
Did he just wink at you, Punk?
November fifth - seventeenth
UK - 5 HOURS RIGHT?
Yup! Call you at the usual time?
Yeah, please. If the doctor calls let me know!
Course! Have fun, Punkers, don't read all your comics in the airport! AGAIN!
"So... Nikki wants you to come to dinner with us."
"Ha, seriously? You sure she loves you? Colt hates you, he wouldn't approve of this at all."
Really, not doing something for fear of upsetting the boyfriend?
Actually, I'm sure Colt wouldn't mind but I don't particularly want to go out with a couple when he's not here. If I'm eating with a happy couple, I want it to be when I can be disgustingly sappy in retaliation.
"He isn't here to invite, though. Wait... He hates me?"
"He punched you in the face, Cena." You'd think that'd make it obvious.
"But that's cause I tried to pet his Mountain Goat! I thought we were passed that!"
"Cause you've had lengthy conversations with my bastard?" Really, I don't think he'd spend more than ten seconds in your company without trying to humiliate or at least goad you, Cena.
"Uh... I think I've said hi twice without him punching me. I consider this an achievement." Ten seconds, my point exactly.
"Why does she want to eat with me anyways?" It's not that I don't like Nikki but we're not exactly dinner buddies.
"No idea... Maybe she's a Punkena shipper?" Punkena?
I got nothing, Punk...
"Do I want to know?"
"Uh... Probably not, to be honest, you might try and punch me too."
December twenty-fifth
We're getting a tree.
Punkers, you're an atheist and I'm a Jew, the fuck we need a tree for?
I want a fucking tree!
Fine, I'll buy it but you can decorate it yourself.
Help me and I'll fuck you for Christmas.
"It looks good, doesn't it?" He made a good choice on this tree, don't you think?
It looks very festive, Punk.
"It's not bad. I like the lights, very pretty. Wanna fuck under it?"
Ever the romantic, your idiot.
"Crass, Colt."
"Do you?" Idiot, why do you think I brought the lube with me, honestly.
"Yeah, but my tree, I'm bottoming."
"Hey, you promised me!"
Honestly, you're squabbling over who has to top. This is not a situation I thought I'd ever have to play party to, Punk.
"You made me decorate it myself, I get to bottom but if you're a good boy, maybe Santa will give you something in the morning."
January sixth
Raw, Baltimore - Piper's gonna be there, list questions below.
Finally, conceded to this being a message board, Punkers? I'll text them to you. ;)
"You're looking tired, Punk. You been sleeping enough?" I really must look like shit if Piper's asking me if I'm sleeping.
"Insomnia kicks my ass sometimes."
Sometimes? Honestly, Punk, if there was an award for understating things, I think you'd be in contention.
"I hear you there, sometimes, this... It's not good for a person. Sometimes you just need to go home for a while, you know."
"Yeah. Hey Piper?"
"Yeah?"
"You ever think of doing a podcast?"
"What like your buddy or being on your buddy's?"
"Ha, I think Colt would die if you agreed to it." Though it'd be awesome, beyond awesome.
I think you'd die too, Punk.
A little, just a little. It'd be just the best though...
Oh stop gushing, Punk!
"Hmm, I get the feeling you'd not approve of that, him dying."
"I..." Really? Is there anyone who doesn't know!
"Ha, c'mon, kid, you're not fooling me. You look like shit but I guess, you've finally found home, huh?" Are we really this obvious? Fuck, I should possibly pay more attention to that.
Why bother, Punk, zero fucks are given by most people, it would seem.
"It was always there, just took some time to realise it."
"Well, at least you know where you've got to go, right? It's not gonna be the same when you're done, Punk." The past versus the future, the future has to win, that's the only way to move forward on this road.
"Nothing stays the same."
"Apart from here. In the WWF, E, fuck whatever the hell it's called, the view never changes." Even if you don't stay on your couch, even if you try. Hmm, the wisdom of Hot Rod is great indeed.
January twenty-seventh
Raw, Cleveland - The beating will be awesome
Poor Miz, you think they will beat him down?
In your hometown, you get beat down!
Punkers, you're a poet! ;)
"Really? This is your idea for the Granddaddy of them all?" Me versus Triple H, again, for no real reason, after them spending months of beating Bryan down, they're sticking me in this match.
"Brooks, wrestling me is a big deal." Yeah, for someone who would benefit from it. You just expect me to give you a good match, like I gave a good match with Lesnar, better than yours, wasn't it, Paul? It pisses you off so much that I'm fucking better than you, always has and it always will.
"For Bryan."
"We're planning a program with Shea-"
"It will be shit on, completely fucking shit on and you fucking know it." Sheamus, there's not fucking point in that, you keep fucking around with everyone else's pushes the same way you did mine, fuck that.
"Phil-" Shut it, Vince!
"You know this is fucking ridiculous, right? You wanna hand the reigns over, fine. But make sure he actually fucking knows what he's doing."
"I know what I'm doing! You've seen NXT. Don't tell me how to do my job, Brooks!"
"Did they clear you for tonight, Phil?"
"Yeah, you do wonders down there, where alls you're gonna get is reflected glory!"
"Phil?"
"Reflected glory? Look, you piece of shit, I don't give a fuck what the IWC says, you're nowhere near as good as you fucking think you are. You wanna spend the rest of your contract hanging out in catering? It can be arranged."
"Paul!"
"Really?" Good, but fuck Catering, I've a better idea.
Punk, what are you planning?
A fork in the road, this time I'm going left.
"Philip, calm down. You want some time off, have a week, starting tonight, just go out there, cut some promo about some injury and then come back next week. We'll discuss the booking, like fucking adults, then."
"Great idea, Vince. That must be the reason your being such a bitch again, Brooks. You got knocked on the head one too many times last night? Must have knocked all the good sense you've been showing since you came back out. You fail the IMPACT?" Good sense, conceding to your stupidity, doing what I'm told, that's not me, this isn't me. Just coasting, just being here cause it's what I'm doing, it's not me.
"I passed your test."
Punk, where are you going?
This isn't where I need to be, I need to be somewhere else.
"Phil, where are you going? Philip! Punk!"
"Little Mountain Goat? Where you off to? You look pissed. Please tell you're not going to kill someone. Did someone look at the bastard for too long? Murder is not the answer, Punk!" Fuck off, Cena, just fuck off!
"Yeah, I need a flight from Hopkins International to O'Hare, as soon as possible." First time through, there's a first. Let's take this as a positive sign that this is a good choice.
Punk, this is such a bad idea, you've have obligations! You can't just cut and run!
Fuck you, Life. Cut and run, is my modus operandi!
"Philip, c'mon. Calm down."
"I'm done, Vince. I'm sorry but I can't, not any more. I sick, I'm tired, I'm done. Yeah, yeah that's great."
Punk, perhaps you should be listening to Vince, not booking a flight home.
"Phil, Punk, look take the week off, fuck take a month off! Just calm down, think about this. There's not long before Mania, there's not much left in your contract. You can't leave like this." Oh but I can and I am.
"I'm done." Done this, done with the WWE, done with wrestling and definitely done with the fucking voices in my head. "I'm going home."
littleone1389: See, when I warn of fluff you should trust me! :3
adg888: Nope, no pears, only lemons. ;) I promised a happy ending and a happy ending it shall be! :D
RebelleCherry: I don't write topPunk often, but it is fun sometimes. :3
I hope you enjoyed it! As ever, comments, criticisms, thoughts, random observations and reviews are all welcomed and encouraged!
As such: Please leave a review, even if it's just "Hey, that didn't suck", I'd be so far and beyond grateful. Heck even if you thought it did suck, tell me too, something is better than nothing after all. :D
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