CHAPTER TWELVE: Waking Up In My Brand New Scars
One year during the summer, Logan fell asleep in the pool at a friend's house. The rest of us had wandered inside for lunch, assuming Logan snuck in to use the bathroom because he'd already admitted to peeing in the flowering lilac bushes in a secluded corner of the yard. I remember this because I was on my period that weekend and I was so bloody paranoid about leaking that I frequently visited the bathroom, and found that Logan was not there. When I went back outside with the others, one of the younger kids started screaming as they pointed to my older brother starfishing in the middle of the pool. He didn't have a life jacket on but he was perfectly still on the surface of the water, so Hideki thought it was a wonderful idea to jump on him. The younger kids were all from the neighbourhood and not really part of our group and assumed bloody murder, running in to tell Mrs. Morris that Logan was dead.
Logan was not dead, big surprise, and Hideki was killing himself laughing as Logan sputtered and threatened to kill him. I wonder if the two of them had any idea that they'd be married someday. Probably not.
Point is, that's how waking up felt like, as if I was lying on a patch of semi-solid…stuff – weightless, thoughtless, and utterly nonexistent. I didn't open my eyes for a long time, taking in the subtle sound of someone breathing beside me and the constant beeping of my heart monitor. I got my appendix removed in that same year, I remember coming out of the anesthesia and hearing the monitor remind me my heart was still beating. Unlike the hospital though, this place didn't smell nearly as sterile and the bedding wasn't as stiff; I so wanted to turn onto my side but I didn't want to disturb the equipment plugged into me. That meant someone would come and fix it, probably getting me to wake up in the process and I wasn't ready for that yet.
My back was oddly itchy, that sensation quickly overriding the feel of my fingertips against the cool mattress, how my hair stuck to my face. I wanted to scratch the feeling away, I could hear the monitor pick up speed as I grew more and more agitated. When I opened my eyes, I looked over and found the source of the breathing. Snake Eyes sat in a chair near the bed, arms and legs crossed and head cocked to one side as I sat up. I still wanted to scratch my back but I was gradually made aware of all the bandages, including a really awkward one around my face. I blinked at him, tilting my head and almost mirroring his position. His shoulders seem to shake and I wondered if that's how ninja are supposed to laugh…you know, mechanically and quietly, like a puppet with strings attached only to their shoulders.
I think I smiled and Snake Eyes reached out to take my shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze before he lifted his index finger and asked me to wait. He got up and walked towards the door of what I guessed was the infirmary, there was a bluish screen near the door and Snake Eyes tapped his fingers in a really precise way. He walked back towards me and ruffled my hair.
"How are you feeling?" He signed slowly, I was nodding with each movement as if to confirm that I hadn't forgotten what he'd taught me.
"Funny. Like…fuzzy?" I swallowed and made a face, my voice was awfully soft.
"You've been asleep for almost a week, Theresa."
I opened my mouth for a yawn but something didn't fire quite right, Snake Eyes was suddenly on the bed with a hand on my shoulder and another one holding the back of my head. I leaned into him, I thought I ought to, my forehead locked against his as I tried to breathe right. I could hear him breathing fine and tried to copy, we sat like this for a while until I was confident I wouldn't pass out, and the monitor was steady again. My head was still starfishing, too warm and too rigid.
"Where are we?"
"I'm not authorized to tell you."
Snake Eyes moved but I couldn't see him, everything suddenly tipped to one side and turned black real fast. He had me by the shoulders and I put it together that I nearly toppled off the bed. I saw something else, someone else, but I couldn't get the picture to form.
"Don't force it." He signed. "You don't need to remember all at once."
"A week?" I mumbled, trying to get my head straight.
"Yes," Snake Eyes signed reluctantly. "You would've been awake sooner."
Frowning again, I lifted a hand and scrubbed a finger along my neck. Didn't someone…?
"A sedative, my student thought it was best."
"I think I remember her…severe-looking chick." I glanced up at his face, his visor specifically, and stared at my reflection. The bandage was wrapped over the bridge of my nose.
"She carries a lot of responsibility and is an exceptional fighter."
"Social interaction isn't a forte, I take it?"
If Snake Eyes made a face, I couldn't quite tell, but he seemed both annoyed and pleased with my statement. We both sighed and I looked away, taking in the pristine condition of the white walls and floors, the immaculate gleam of the metal appliances, and the little bits of technology I hadn't seen before.
"I'm in America?" I questioned, Snake Eyes nodded. "Aren't there, like, rules or something for entering your country? Am I going to be in trouble?"
Snake Eyes didn't "say" anything and stood up from the bed, walking around and distracting himself by peering at the chart attached to the foot of my bed. I folded my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow, my head clearing up a little more as I watched him.
"Snake Eyes?"
He looked up.
"What the hell is going on?"
He dropped the chart and raised his hands to answer when the door opened and an older man strode inside, standing expectantly beside the ninja. He looked official, there were hard lines on his face and his dark hair was starting to grey a bit on either side of his temples; I gave him a lame nod and he smiled.
"Good to see you awake. You had Snake Eyes a little worried."
Snake Eyes didn't react in any way I could see, and I know I was blushing.
"Uh…yeah, glad to be awake, I guess." I rubbed my face, brushing against the bandage. "And please, call me Theresa, everyone else does."
"Fine by me, I'm General Hawk –"
"Snake Eyes's boss?"
"Most of the time, yes," he paused and gave Snake Eyes a sidelong glance. "If you're ready, there are a few things I'd like to discuss with you."
I arched an eyebrow and glanced at Snake Eyes who had his arms crossed tightly over his chest and I could clearly see his shoulders moving with each breath he took. I wondered if he was upset about something and then I looked down at my arms, one part confused because I'd been copying him and another because I had a hard time seeing my own skin. Everything from the tips of my fingers to my shoulders were carefully wrapped in bandages. Another set was bound precariously around my chest and back with large strips of padding taped to my back. I lifted the edge of the blanket still covering my legs and flinched as they received the same treatment, I couldn't even see my toes.
I was very aware of the two of them watching me as I put my fingers over my face, feeling the wide strip of cloth stuck to it and then feeling my fingers slip into tiny little craters created by tiny little –
"Do we have to do this now?"
Hawk's expression softened. "Whenever you're ready. I was actually wondering if you were hungry, the cafeteria food here is great and I think a change in clothing and scenery would be nice. Right?"
As General Hawk gave Snake Eyes a very pointed look, my stomach growled with anticipation at the prospect of eating something. I stared at Snake Eyes with a hopeful gaze and he uncrossed his arms and shrugged, striding towards another room and flicking the lights on. General Hawk nodded and politely excused himself, explaining there were a few things he needed to prepare for our talk. In the meantime, Snake Eyes came back into the room and pulled the sheets off, carefully moving my legs off the bed and staring down at them.
"Do you think they can come off?" I asked timidly as he rubbed my feet. He let go after a moment and nodded.
"The doctor said you were very lucky, the major injuries are this foot," he pointed to my left one, "and there's an…impressive bruise on your back."
I was about to ask about the apparent scar on my face but he didn't seem comfortable discussing my other injuries, so I decided not to press it. As he ripped one edge of the bandage, he looked up at me again.
"If I make you uncomfortable at all, please tell me."
"Got it," I said, trying to smile. He shook his head and started unravelling the bandages on my right leg. There were tiny circular marks all over my skin, wrinkly black and a few times I needed him to stop because I kept feeling tiny legs crawl all over me and I couldn't stop shaking. Several times I tried to kick him and he stopped each time, asking if it was alright to continue and I still said yes, involuntarily kicking him whenever he brushed up against a sensitive spot.
The left leg was substantially better and I was suddenly super grateful that the bandages only came up to mid-thigh and I had the strength to take care of them. Snake Eyes still bound up my left foot and I saw two huge puncture marks left in my skin. The burn marks were just as extensive and as we undid the wrappings around my arms, it was the same thing. My fingerprints, I noted, had not been tampered with but smaller burns circled my fingers and made my hands look like a connect-the-dots gone horribly wrong. At this point, Snake Eyes helped me walk into the bathroom where he pulled out a stack of clothes and aided me in getting dressed. I think I was too tired to really care if he saw me naked or not, and too interested in cataloguing the black dots of burning skin that moved over my stomach but shied away from my breasts. A few clamoured their way up my neck and one sat behind my ear, and a few were printed on my face.
The pad on my back was removed and I asked Snake Eyes to help me see it, he lifted a small mirror up and I peered into it, a wide band of purple travelled along my spine. I fastened the bra on, realizing it was actually my own because it fit well, and once I pulled the shirt on, I pulled off the bandage from around my face. I didn't remember when this happened. It began one one side of my face under my eye, over my nose, and then ended under my other eye. I didn't think it reached bone but it glided over the skin covering the bottom edge of my eye socket, it made more and more sense as to why I didn't remember.
I thought we were done but then Snake Eyes grabbed a stool and asked me to lean my head over the sink. He stood back and put his hands behind his neck, peeling the suit away from his body and freeing his arms and hands from the tight leather. It felt weird for him to be bare-chested again, even weirder as he turned the water on and started washing my hair. I knew it was longer now, that bothered me some, longer hair always made me look younger than I actually was. He was very gentle with it too, I could feel myself falling asleep the longer it took for him to clean it. Once he finished, I practically fell into his chest as he towel dried it.
"At this rate, I'm gonna fall asleep again, Hayabusa." I mumbled into the scars on his chest. He patted my back and carefully took me by the shoulders, and turned me around. I ran my fingers through the longer strands and frowned, Snake Eyes held up a pair of scissors and I nodded while shutting my eyes.
"Wake me up when you're done, this kind of stuff always makes me sleepy."
"Can I ask a stupid question?" I asked as we sat down at a table.
The cafeteria was mostly empty but Snake Eyes still insisted in taking a seat in the emptiest corner so he could properly survey the area for enemies or intruders or whatever. He wasn't planning on eating anything and gladly loaded up my tray with a soup, sandwich, and a colourful fruit salad.
"There are no such things as stupid questions between friends, Theresa."
I tore open the wrapper on my crackers for my soup. "You do…take that off, don't you?"
He looked down at his body. "You know I do."
"Those times were different." I told him, pointing my finger at him. "I thought ninja were about blending in with their surroundings and here you are: a big black wolf in a field of grazing sheep."
He moved his shoulders nonchalantly and waved his hand towards the food, I took a quick spoonful of soup to appease him.
"Come on, when you're not risking your life on the battle field, do you ever take off the gimp suit?" I think that was the only reason I played Yaiba, for that line alone.
He leaned forward and put his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers in front of his face as if it wasn't hidden enough. I had the distinct feeling that if anyone from his team was around, they'd be laughing. Most likely Ripcord though.
"Uh –"
"I take it off," he signed after a long, tense pause. It was like that time in the studio, the silent guilt trip thing that made me feel years younger.
"J-just curious. It can't be very comfortable to wear all the time, like binders and whatnot; too tight and stuff."
He nodded and I quietly ate my crackers and soup. I didn't think I pissed him off but maybe he was used to people my age being subservient, he trained newcomers here, right?
"How old are you?" I asked him suddenly, dividing my sandwich in half.
"Is this twenty questions?"
"I can make it fifty, if you'd like." I said with a raised eyebrow, giving him an eyeful of my sassy grin.
"Twenty-six."
"Huh. Interesting." I took a bite and grabbed a water bottle to wash it down.
"What is?"
"I guess I just pictured you older….not that you look old but you carry yourself in a…more older way? Geez, I do English good."
We ended up in General Hawk's office some time later where suddenly, everyone became mute. Snake Eyes was hovering behind me like a protective mother hen and General Hawk was pacing behind his desk like an anxious rooster awaiting his chicks; I sat awkwardly in my seat, hoping maybe they'd like to do so as well. After Hawk passed his desk five more times, he turned to face me and sighed deeply.
"Your encounter with Storm Shadow is not something we're eager to repeat," he started slowly, trying to gauge my reaction. "There's a chance, however small, that he'll come after you in the future so we're moving you into protective custody –"
"Does my family know about this?"
General Hawk frowned and took a seat behind his desk.
"They don't? Snake Eyes," I wheeled around to stare at the ninja.
"For all they know, you've gone missing."
"You've got to be kidding me, isn't this illegal?" I spun around to face General Hawk and he lifted a folder.
"Technically, yes. The Canadian government is aware of the situation and have graciously sent the necessary papers to get you started on your new life here. Until the threat of Cobra has been eliminated, these are the steps we need to take."
"But eliminating said threat could take years! And if Storm Shadow could come back to life –"
General Hawk narrowed his eyes and I turned around to look at Snake Eyes as his hands repeated the first part of his sentence.
"Cobra had little to do with Storm Shadow's death, and I should've produced proof of his death."
"Bullshit! How were you supposed from the get go that he was alive? This is ridiculous."
"It's for your own good."
I glared at him. I wanted to hit him so badly but General Hawk sighed and opened the folder, sliding it over to me and gesturing for me to read it over.
"I know this isn't an easy task, you'll be confined –"
"Excuse me?"
"Well – restricted to this facility and any others under my direct authority in case you need to be moved. That is a key to your room and there's also a clearance card as you unwittingly have undisclosed information regarding Cobra."
Snake Eyes put a hand on my shoulder and I growled, crossing my arms over my chest.
"So what if Cobra is your problem? Why aren't I back home or at the very least, how come the Canadian government isn't in charge of my protection?"
Snake Eyes sat down and I did anything to not look at him which including biting my tongue. General Hawk rubbed the back of his neck and breathed deeply through his nose, I guess he had it in his head that whatever he was going to say was going to piss me off.
"As you mentioned, Cobra is my problem. The G. I. Joes have been working to put both him and the organization down on top of handling covert missions all over the world. We have better resources to better protect you in case something goes wrong. The United States has been spearheading the eradication of Cobra for a long time and every time we get close, he slithers away. No one else is cut out for this."
Basically, we're playing Piggy in the Middle until someone else can reach the ball and do some damage. I leaned back and grabbed the folder, eying a couple of pages that needed some information.
"Wait a minute…Protective custody implies some sort of glorified babysitting gig…how come I'm being asked to change all my personal information?"
I looked up at General Hawk as he brought his hands together on the desktop, I looked over and saw the back of a photograph. He noticed my gaze and turned it around to show a picture of a woman who I assumed to be his wife and their son.
"My word choice wasn't exactly fair but as far as Cobra goes, witness protection is our only option. There's always the chance that someone could revive Cobra or similar groups could form, this is better for you and your family in the long run. I'm sorry."
I closed the folder and let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I was holding in. Snake Eyes got up and moved towards the door, waiting for me to follow, and I glanced up at Hawk.
"For all they know, you've gone missing", that's what he'd said. How long would it take before they assumed I was dead? Would they hold a funeral for me or continue to hope?
"Can I make a small request?" I whispered.
"I'll certainly see what I can do."
"Please bring Logan and Hideki home…they crashed in forest near the house…Mom deserves that much."
My room was across the hall from Snake Eyes's, so he walked me there after we left General Hawk's office. He promised a tour of the facility and he'd contact me the moment they found Logan and Hideki. It was probably a bad idea for them to go home though, really: If the two of them were dead, Mom would only assume I was dead too or maybe she'd reclaim her lost religion and pray that all the animals left me alone. Wasn't there a story like that in the Bible, something about a den of lions…what was his name, Daniel? I think it was Daniel, would've been ironic if his name had been Leo.
The room wasn't anything extravagant. Grey carpeted floors, muted walls, and there was a fluffy brown comforter on the bed. There was a small bathroom with a shower and toilet packed close together, a tiny sink and a mirror that opened up so one could store stuff. A small closet, a dresser, two bedside tables. I dropped the folder onto one of them and sat on the bed, staring out into the hallway. I wasn't looking at anything but I saw Snake Eyes open his door and Taiga came bolting out of his room, colliding with my legs as they hung off the bed. His tongue licked just about every part of me and I patted the bed, he leapt on top and jumped up on my shoulders like a whimpering pup.
"I missed you too, buddy." I whispered hoarsely, pulling him off and crawling further onto my bed as he nestled in between my legs, his tail thudding against the bed.
Snake Eyes leaned in the doorframe with his arms loosely folded over his chest, he didn't appear nearly as tense and I looked down at Taiga's happy face.
"Thanks for finding him," I said quietly. "And I'm sorry for…fuck, I don't know."
I ran a hand through my hair and sighed, Snake Eyes moved away from the door and shut it behind him, he flicked on the light and I was made all the more aware of the lack of windows. He sat down on the floor and reached for Taiga.
"You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one Storm Shadow was looking for, I put you in this situation."
"Which I could've avoided if I actually contacted you." I batted his hand away from my dog.
"Then why didn't you?" He stopped moving and just stared at me. I opened my mouth for a smart retort but my brain kept latching onto the excuse of "I didn't want you to get hurt". But it didn't work, it didn't fit. That wasn't it.
"I got myself into that problem, and I should've been able to get out of it too." That answer didn't impress either of us. I knew it wasn't the right answer but…what else was I supposed to say?
Snake Eyes made no real reaction, rising off the bed without another word and walking out the door. Taiga trailed behind him, jerking when the door shut on him but he nonetheless sat down in front of it and waited. We waited for nearly fifteen minutes and I figured he was pissed at me, so I got ready for bed and stared blindly ahead.
There was no painted mural on the wall, and there never would be again.
Thanks for reviewing and alerting and all that lovely stuff :)
I'll be uploading the next two chapters together because they're shorter than the rest and...yeah. Thanks again.
