A/N: Hi there to all readers! First of all, thank you for all those who've reviewed the recent update and shared their ideas with me… you guys have helped inspire me to write another chapter to this story… ^_^ Also I would like to thank those who've added this story to their favorites and alerts list… I hope that I would be able to write out this fanfic to your expectations… I was currently on a break from school and thank goodness for that since I was able to devote my time in making this new chapter… there were no paper works or reports to finish so more time to get my ideas in order…
Last chapter, several characters were introduced a little bit, starting with the young woman named Lilina who works at the association, as well as the mysterious individual who apparently murdered Marco back in the previous chapters. Many would get confused with the addition of these two new characters but then, they would be playing a pretty big role in this story which is almost halfway done. They would be making a number of appearances for the next chapters so it would be good to keep an eye on them.
Anyway, this chapter will pick up from where we left off in the scene between Kaname and Zero as well the scene between Cross and Lilina. I'll tie up some of the loose events from the previous chapters like the murders and some conversations in this chapter as well as the next. ^_^ Some mysteries would be revealed and the time of the battle seems to be getting closer at hand. Well, I've been keeping you guys waiting for too long so I'll end the notes here… by the way, I hope you like this chapter as well… so here's another very long update for this story…
Please Read and Review… ^_^
Chapter 12 - Free and Restricted Choices
A fierce storm was finally breaking out in the horizon that certain evening. The stars were nowhere to be seen and the skies were covered by heavy, dark gray clouds. A rumble of thunder sounded from far away and the winds were picking up their speed. Sending cold gusts all over the place. It seemed like a foreboding. A warning that something terrible was going to happen in the near-future and no one would be able to stop it from taking place.
Winds flew from all directions atop a particular building somewhere in the city where the Hunter's Association headquarters was located nearby. The streets below were busy and full of life despite the harsh turn of the weather. The sounds of a car's engine, countless chatter of passerby's, and various others were mixed together in a cacophony of background noises.
The rustling of clothes could be heard amidst the noise as two individuals stood on the rooftop face to face. The area around them was filled with apprehension as they eyed each other with something akin to revulsion and anger. Stormy light blue eyes glared directly at dull orange ones who seemed to share the same sentiment.
If this wasn't such an important matter for the association, Aria Lilina von Kampfer was pretty sure she wouldn't waste her time talking to Sayori Wakaba of all people. She had known this vampire hunter since way back and they had been good friends back in their high school days. But that was all in the past now. Everything was different this time and ever since that betrayal, she had never found it within herself to forgive Sayori even if some of her other friends had. Her acquaintance's recent coldness and anti-social behavior seemed to strike a nerve in Lilina, considering she was a pretty calm and sensible person most of the time compared to the others back at the headquarters. At least she was aware of how to behave appropriately unlike some trigger-happy idiots she knew in the headquarters. Like Touga Yagari or Kaito Takamiya. As that thought came into mind, she then understood why she was here and she promised herself to really pay back Kaien Cross for making her put up with this trouble.
She remembered walking back with Cross after her encounter with Vanessa Woodsworth and the older ex-hunter had asked her for this favor before she left on her merry way. Or in other words, forced her to. Saying things about how Zero would want her to do something about Sayori or that she would be doing everyone some good. In the end, no matter how much she wanted to decline, she agreed. Albeit, half-heartedly. She had searched for Sayori Wakaba as requested and encountered her walking away from some alley and she thought that she scented spilled blood from where the orange-haired woman came. But she didn't think much of it and invited Sayori to join her somewhere. After some time, they ended up here in the rooftop of all places with a storm almost breaking out.
It had been quite a while since she relayed the orders given by the Vampire Council and the Hunter's Association to Sayori. She could see the other was pretty pissed off with the verdict and Lilina wished that she wasn't the one here right now. She had far more pressing matters to attend to instead of dealing with a brooding ex-hunter who seemed to fancy her time making a simple decision. She still had that mission regarding Rido's whereabouts to deal with and recent events cropping up all over the place needed her attention now that Zero was still in recovery.
What a way to completely waste the entire night, she thought exasperatedly.
She pocketed her gloved hands on her knee-length navy blue coat as the winds seemed to be unrelenting and though she didn't feel much of the cold like humans do being the noble vampire that she was; it bothered her on a certain level at least. The pendant she was always wearing glinted bright silver as it caught the light of the building's signboard. Its main purpose was to shield her aura to others especially from some of the hunters at the association who disliked vampires. Just because they accepted Zero Kiryuu as one, it didn't mean that the same could be applied to her. For them, she was a different case and only Zero's orders kept them from treating her too badly.
She wished that most hunters were like Marco Laforet, her partner in the association. The older hunter had treated her normally and not like the plague that she was around the others. He laughed and joked with her and showed her sincerity that she thought she could only see through Zero and her high-school friends. Thinking about Marco brought a spike of hurt in her heart. Like some guilt that Yagari told her that wasn't hers to carry. But she wondered if she was there at that time, things could have ended differently and Marco would still be alive. If she wasn't on some other mission, she could have helped him and prevented the tragedy from ever occurring. She knew though, that there were many possibilities and what if's. Yet none of those matter anymore, because everything had already happened. Marco was gone and her partner was never going to come back no matter how much she blamed herself. She shoved those thoughts aside. This was not the time to get sidetracked and depressed.
Her attention was then focused on the young woman in front of her who seemed to harbor so much hatred to vampires as a whole. She knew the reason to that but it seemed unfair to judge all of them as monsters or beasts.
Ever since Naoto died, Sayori had been like this and this was also the main reason why Lilina was here on such short notice. It seemed that this particular ex-hunter had been hunting vampires without orders from the association and sometimes even provoking sane vampires on a fight and injuring them. She was now given a choice to fight if the need arises and right now, Lilina was willing to do just that.
Couldn't her former friend even see how lucky she was that she was given this warning instead of facing instant punishment for her actions?
There were a lot of vampire families who were pretty bent on having retribution delivered at all costs. It wasn't like she cared about what happens to the ex-hunter after the betrayal they experienced on Sayori's own hands but she was well acquainted with Sayori and Naoto in the past. Heck, they were on such good terms that she wondered how things spiraled out of control like this. Lilina only hoped that this would end peacefully even if it seemed that it wouldn't, judge by the tension she felt in the air.
Lilina wondered momentarily how this particular person in front of her was the Sayori Wakaba she knew in the past. That person was a gentle soft-spoken girl who valued everyone's lives more than her own. She had this foolish notion not to take the lives of her opponents and it irked everyone around her when she always valued that belief. Some of them had specifically told her that she was placing her life in danger that way. Yet most of them couldn't deny that she was a very talented girl who saved countless of lives. She fell in love with Naoto and the two were happy with each other. Still, in the end, Naoto lost his life.
To an incident none of them managed foresee all those years ago.
Was this the cause of Sayori's deep hatred for all of the vampires? Because Naoto died on a mission so suddenly and so brutally, Lilina realized as she tried to awaken a certain memory of pains better forgotten. It must be the source of this problem but it didn't mean that this hunter could direct all of her anger on them. Or precisely her for instance. It wasn't like she was the one who killed Naoto in the first place.
She could see as clear as day that the talk was going nowhere as Sayori glared at her with such intensity that if she was any other person, she would have been deeply unsettled. She pulled the navy blue beret she was wearing lower and sighed afterwards. So much for doing this peacefully, she thought as she noticed that Sayori had pulled out the silver sword embedded with runes from her scabbard. She was trifle amused by this woman's impudence; even if she wasn't a pureblood, her power was pretty close to that level. Luckily for Sayori, she was quite different from other noble vampires that would consider her act as an open invitation to something akin to war. Lilina prided herself in being level-headed. Most of the time, anyways.
"My, my, little girl. An ugly beast has taken on such a cute form," Sayori said mockingly as she played with the sword on her hands, gazing at the beautiful woman who was once her good friend with hostility as pure and concentrated as acid. She knew since long ago that this person was a noble vampire and from what she remembered, a dangerous one as well. The pendant caught her eye and it reminded her of Naoto so much. He had always worn a bracelet with a similar pendant like that on his wrist. Minus the charms used to suppress a vampires aura. It was an ordinary accessory used to signify the friendship in the past that wasn't here anymore. "How revolting. No one will be able to identify what you were once I'm finished with you," she continued in a venomous tone this time as she held the sword in some form of stance that Lilina was pretty familiar with.
"I embarrass myself. I tried to hurt a good-hearted human once… when I should be hurting or killing vermin like you," Lilina responded as she kept her glare fixed at the orange-haired vampire hunter in front of her. She let the insults pass as she thought of a way to end this pointless fight. After all, she didn't come here with the intention to fight and further risk creating a rift between the vampire and hunter communities. It was already bad enough with all the level end incidents occurring here and there on a daily basis.
"Vermin?" Sayori repeated as she watched for any sign of movement from the young woman in front of her. There was something quite mysterious in the muted aura of this particular vampire and she was a bit unsettled by it. Even if she had known Lilina for some time, there were still a lot of things she didn't know about her. "I'm neither a wild nor contemptible beast," she continued as she warily looked for any openings but sadly found none. Sayori didn't want to admit it but this was the first time she faced a vampire of this kind of level. Also, she was a bit unnerved by those eyes. Those deep light blue eyes seemed to just know everything. To be able to see through things that she couldn't. It reminded her so much of Zero Kiryuu. His amethyst yet sometimes silver eyes unnerved her as well back in their school days. It was like he knew so many things that she didn't with his stare. Were most vampires like those two? No, she had to focus. It doesn't matter. None of it does. She couldn't let Naoto's death come to waste. There was no reason to be frightened now.
After all, how many people had she managed to send to hell recently? Hunters and vampires didn't even stand a chance. Why should it be any different now?
"I have no interest in your reasons for appearing again after what you did in the past and the trouble you caused us back then. What matters is that you're going on a rampage and breaking the pact that everyone fought hard to create," Lilina said in an indifferent tone as she closed her eyes for a moment. She concentrated deeply as she tried to expand all of her senses. "I'll teach you a lesson here you will never forget, Sayori Wakaba," she uttered as she opened her now bright crimson eyes and stared at the ex-hunter who couldn't hide the fact that she was astonished by that sight. After all, she never really showed her vampire side that much. She hated to see the frightened faces of the people around her just because of what she was. Lilina was currently tapping into her vampire abilities to help finish this fight sooner but then, she needed to hold back a bit or risk seriously hurting Sayori no matter how much she hated this person right now.
"Give me your best shot, monster," Sayori barked as she leaned forward and grasped the sword tightly with her right hand. She willed herself not to fear this vampire in front of her as she realized that she was mistaken in thinking that this would be an easy fight. She couldn't use the techniques that killed the lower level vampires. Mental assaults were useless after all. It seemed that this vampire was on a whole other level than the others she had fought recently. She realized suddenly that if she couldn't defeat Lilina what the chances would be of facing Zero who was a lot stronger than this vampire. The young woman in front of her didn't look all that strong.
But she knew that looks could be deceiving. Lilina wasn't merely a normal human. Sayori was currently ignoring the distressing signal given to her by her hunter senses. In the dark, those bright crimson eyes looked frightening than the eyes of those she had faced before. She didn't think she had heard anything about Lilina from the other people at the association all those years ago when she worked there. Marco only told others that Lilina was strong and that he was lucky to have her as a partner. She only caught things like 'she's really dependable and hardworking' or 'she's pretty cute and nice even for a vampire.' She doubted those words before but now she wasn't sure. If Lilina was there, would Marco's fate have been different? She wondered for a moment before she began her assault.
Sayori lunged instantly as the winds died down but Lilina avoided the attack with ease and reappeared behind her with vampire speed. Sayori followed her movement and tried to deliver a slash of her dagger as she turned around but it was met with a sound of metal striking against metal. She saw in Lilina's hand a silver dagger and she was momentarily nonplussed at that revelation. Another vampire is capable of using an anti-vampire weapon? It was the second time in her career to see something like that. It was impossible for a revenant to be able to touch a hunter weapon. Zero was able to since she was told that the young man also had hunter's blood in his veins. Who are you really, Lilina? You're not just an ordinary bloodsucker, she thought angrily as she jumped away from a kick aimed at her gut.
The knife or sword is both a weapon and a shield. So when fighting with those weapons, as long as you can block the enemy's ones, you will win.
Lilina remembered those words that Zero had told her once when they were training back at the headquarters many years ago. She realized how useful that advice had been on countless occasions she had to face renegade vampire hunters. Lilina knew that Sayori's sword was coated with a powerful anti-vampire charm and she didn't fancy himself getting injured by it. The last thing she needed was for the others to worry about her well-being as well. Besides, she already promised Cross that she would be careful. And she never broke any of her promises if she could help it.
She resisted the urge to smirk as she saw the disbelief written across Sayori's face for a moment when she drew out her own weapon. Of course she knew that this hunter was wondering about how a vampire like her could also use a powerful anti-vampire weapon so easily. She always saw that look from various hunters she faced and frankly she thought that it wasn't really anything that special. There were various others of her kind who could handle hunter weapons and it wasn't as if she was immune to the effects. This dagger was a gift to her by her partner when they first joined up on a mission and it had always been with her since then. It was a customized weapon that only she could use just like Zero's own Bloody Rose.
A combat knife was sent her way and she avoided it with her speed before it even came close to grazing her. She watched as Sayori moved her hands and Lilina knew that the former was casting a spell. "Ashes to ashes… Dust to dust… The vampire killer's crimson cross!" Sayori casted as she raised her hands and bright orange flames burst forth from her open palms. She gazed evenly at Lilina who only looked at her calmly before she hurled the flames on that direction.
Lilina evaded the spell as she moved backwards consecutively, not letting the flames reach her. She knew that it was a powerful charm and would no doubt burn through her flesh easily. She didn't want to risk getting injured by the spell and relying on her vampire healing to do its job. She briefly wondered how this ex-hunter managed to learn a spell of this level. She thought that Sayori didn't like spells like these and refused to learn them years ago. She jumped away and landed on the fence of the rooftop. Her bright crimson gaze burning through the darkness that surrounded the both of them. She moved away again as another flame was thrown her way and she looked back to see the fence became scorched by the intense heat.
"Your efforts are futile," Sayori said arrogantly as she watched Lilina avoid her attacks and who seemed to have no intention to strike back. "You seem to be doing a lot of fleeing. If you don't look where you're running, you'll hurt yourself," she added as she created flames from the ground and watched in satisfaction as it met the vampire she was fighting. She smiled in triumph as she watched the form slowly wither away.
"You took the words right out of my mouth," Lilina uttered back as she sat on the railing of the water tank and gazed at the surprised features of Sayori who thought she was caught in that trap. From the burning flames came several streams of water in the shape of miniature dragons, all of them heading towards Sayori who quickly moved out of the way. Lilina praised the hunter mentally for making her use one of her vampire abilities. Right before the attack, she had already created a water clone of herself while she hid in the shadows. "You really are something. If you were an average person, this fight would be over by now."
"It looks like I'm not just killing time after all," Sayori shot back as she smirked at the calm figure looking down on her from the railing. She still couldn't identify what was wrong in her senses. There was just something about this vampire that she couldn't quite figure out. At least, she now knew that this young woman was just too strong. She couldn't even afford to slip up or else she knew that she would lose in a split second. Is this really the new hunter's association? How much had the members changed ever since she left? She wondered how strong the members were now since she could clearly see that this vampire wasn't a pushover like the others she fought and killed.
"Your fireworks couldn't hurt a fly," Lilina told her indifferently as she stood up and landed gracefully in front of Sayori who was concentrating on creating flames once again. "I guess the fun is just beginning," she continued as the water dragons came from out of nowhere and flung itself towards Sayori who jumped away instantly and ran the length of the rooftop to avoid the deadly barrage of the waters Lilina was controlling
Sayori couldn't believe how the odds were against her now. Every vampire and hunter she fought had succumbed to her but this one was so different that it frightened her to a certain extent. Yet despite the fear, raw anger was brought to the surface. How could she let vampires roam free? Wasn't it the job of vampire hunters to exterminate them? She couldn't understand why there was this coexistence at all. She certainly didn't need such a thing. There was no way she would accept the vampires. She was foolish in thinking that there would be such a thing years ago.
Lilina knew what was in Sayori's mind as she attacked the arrogant hunter with her water dragons. She knew the hatred this person had for her kind was too ingrained in her heart. If things were different, she knew that she could still try get along with this person. Because she knew what it felt like? To have a strong hatred that it was the only thing that mattered. All of the people she knew did understand those feelings. Kaname Kuran, Zero Kiryuu, and Kaito Takamiya were some of those who could relate to them.
But things were different now and she had changed after all those years. That was why she couldn't let this incident or that betrayal pass. Sayori had to know what she was dealing with and how stupid it seemed to fight a noble vampire who worked with vampire hunters. Lilina knew that there were far stronger individuals than her out there in this world and if this hunter couldn't beat her, what chances would she have against those vampires? Sayori would just die a pointless death.
Maybe, she still cared for Sayori. Only a little bit, though.
"What a pathetic attack for a former vampire hunter," Lilina said apathetically as she stopped her attacks. "You must be pretty weak. You're not fit to be called a vampire hunter if you're only at this level," she continued as she tried to provoke Sayori, watching whether the former would lose her cool in a situation like this.
"The weakest? Not a real vampire hunter? Who do you think you're talking to, you rotten piece of shit? Nothing will be left when I'm through with you. It's time to die, vampire!" Sayori shouted menacingly as the words that Lilina spoke sent a flare of anger in her system. Those words made her recall terrible memories and succumbing to anger seemed a good way to push away the memories instantly.
She stood back and gazed at the female vampire with fire in her eyes. "One of this world's five major elements, the grand fires of Genesis… the blessed light that nurtures life, and the light of judgment which delivers punishment unto evil. Though it brings peaceful fortune, it also acts as the fiery misfortune that pierces the cold darkness. Its name is flame… Its form is a sword… Show yourself by claiming my body, and show your great power!" Sayori chanted as larger flames than before appeared from out of nowhere. A towering fire that was shaped in the figure of a huge lion. The fires were scorching the length of the place but Lilina didn't seem perturbed by the sight. With a loud roar, the fires headed in Lilina's direction but the latter didn't move out of the way.
Sayori watched in disbelief as the flames she created with her one of her strongest spells were blocked by a towering wall of water that sprung from out of nowhere. Then a huge water dragon that appeared from the ground extinguished the flames in a torrent of steam. How could such a thing happen? She thought as her prided attack vanished away. She could not believe what she saw and she realized how strong high-level vampires were.
She managed to react in time as Lilina moved with vampire speed and appeared before her. She deflected a kick and countered with a punch that only met with the hat the vampire was wearing. Her vision registered the unique features of the young woman she fought with. Flashes of memories from a time where everything else was different appeared in her mind. She thought back on how things ended up this way. Lilina used to be her friend. But now, they were nothing more than enemies.
Sayori smiled grimly to herself. Here she thought that she had forgotten all about the past. That she had finally moved on. She had thrown away all her human emotions that day a few years ago when she betrayed the hunter's association. It was done by her free will. And that free will was the one pushing her to do the things she was doing up to this day. Yet she also wondered how much of those was her free will, wasn't her choice quite restricted back in those days?
"I told you to give up already didn't I?" She smiled bitterly as she made a downward slash of her sword on Marco's body as he gazed at her with pity in his clouded eyes. The blood flecked her face a bit but she didn't care…
"I know that you're the one who's been killing those vampires from the council," she said off-handedly. "Well, personally I don't care about such things. I could assist you but let me tell you this, I have my own reasons. And I don't like being ordered much," she added. The pureblood merely smiled at her and she glared in response…
She stood in the corner as she watched the stupid party that some people hosted. Really, what was the point of sending here there of all places? She looked around and spotted someone familiar who in turn saw her as well. She smiled a bit as she walked away…
She stood at the rooftop where some vampire who Arisa was supposed to watch went out of control. She waited for a while to execute the man but it seemed the association had beaten her to it. She watched as Zero and her old acquaintances left the building. She was going to leave until those silver eyes stared at her indifferently…
She sulked at the front of the van as she thought about how those bastards she was working with took out Zero by such unrefined methods. Didn't they ever hear of a fair fight? She thought angrily. She sighed as she began thinking that her former superior wouldn't be defeated like this. After all, she still had that unfinished issue with him. With that, she began to relax and waited for the time that he would escape…
She focused all of her powers on that foolish level C while Arisa watched in the distance. She stared as the vampire convulsed from the influx of the charm before dying. She left without a backward glance and ran into Lilina who wanted to speak to her…
"By the way, something interesting is going to happen in the streets of the cathedral sometime soon. Maybe this week or the next. I think that someone from the council is going to die again," Yori said lightly. "Not that it matters though since I'll finish you off now."
She then concentrated all of her power on the last attack and created a powerful anti-vampire charm made of flames. She hurled the fire in Lilina's path and watched the crimson eyes of her opponent widen in surprise. There was an ear shattering explosion and smoke filled the length of the roof. She laughed lightly as she realized that Lilina had escaped her grasp once again.
The heavy fall of rain drowned out all the sounds and extinguished the flames she had unleashed. She smiled a little as she found another worthy adversary. A foe that would make things a bit more exciting than before. She didn't mind as she became thoroughly drenched by the cold rain. All her thoughts focused on Lilina. This fight isn't over yet, vampire…
Meanwhile, Lilina breathed a sigh of relief as she leaned against the wall on an alley a few blocks away from the building where Sayori was. Her wet hair and clothes clinging to her body. She was quite lucky to have guessed the charm that the hunter used or else she would have been ashes long ago. She thought that it was necessary to report this development to the others in the association. After all, she now knew that Sayori was partly involved in this mess. And if what the ex- hunter told her was true, they could prevent a murder from happening again.
She watched as people ran in all directions to take cover from the heavy fall of rain. She didn't bother with such things. Water was her element and she learned to love the rain since she was little. With one last look, she disappeared into the night. Leaving no trace of her presence there at all…
"≈≈ΩΩ~Ж~ΩΩ≈≈"
It had been two weeks since the incident and the hunter's condition still hasn't changed. During those days, Kaname Kuran had done nothing but stay at Zero's side. He had been increasingly worried but he tried not to show it to everyone. He had to maintain his composure and he tried to make it look as if he was only looking after an important friend. There was no need for others to know about his true feelings. Yagari had left him alone and told him that Lilina would take over his missions for now. That is why he was always here, waiting for Zero to regain consciousness.
He listened to Zero breathe. The hunter's breathing was shallow, his chest barely rising with the motion. The doctor had discussed it with him and Yagari that it was a result of a certain drug as well as some others in the hunter's system. The poisons running through Zero's bloodstream were injected during the time of his capture and Kaname cursed himself for not finding his partner sooner. How could he let that bastard Rido do this to Zero? He should've done something, he thought angrily. There were also some sedatives and injections before the main poison according to the diagnosis. Kaname clenched his fist tightly as he realized the implication of that statement. There was no other word for it. They had done other things to Zero and it pissed him off to no end. He was certain that if he found out the others who had hurt Zero, he would relish in ripping them apart.
The hunter's features were paler than usual, and a dark shadow hangs under his eyes, but the pureblood knew that it was how anyone would appear during unstable days. If not for the poison running through Zero, he'd be completely all right. His blood made sure to heal all of the injuries that the hunter sustained.
Kaname couldn't help but remember those terrible moments back at the enemy's hideout. He could still see vividly in his mind all those blood, those tears, and everything else. So close. He had come so close to losing Zero forever. It was the first time in his whole life that he felt such unimaginable fear. He already knew that the hunter was his only weakness and his uncle had figured it out in that instant. He should never have gotten close to Zero. He should have known the risks. He should have just let Zero pull away that time. Yet despite everything else, he knew that he could never bring himself to do such a thing.
Zero was the only person he could ever hope to love. The only person who could make him happy again.
And right now, Zero Kiryuu was here. He was still alive.
The hunter twitches from time to time and a vein jut out of his neck. His hands were fisted in the sheets as he endures the painful symptoms of the withdrawal. Yet Kaname had a suspicion that a nightmare was also involved and he doesn't know which was worse. He knew that Zero had his own darkness hidden from everyone else. Had things in his past that he would rather forget. The pureblood wished for nothing more than to help the hunter even take away all those nightmares. It was uncomfortable to watch without having the power to do anything to help. Kaname's throat goes dry and he forced back the tears when he thought about how much Zero suffered at the hands of his own uncle. He noticed that his own back was aching a bit and he realized that he had been leaning forward for too long. There was also a nagging headache from all of the stress. Yet he couldn't bring himself to think of his own insignificant aches and pains.
Wanting to help someone but not being able to really do hurt, Kaname thought suddenly.
The pureblood had been alone with Zero in the room for several minutes, nearly three-quarters of an hour. The only person to come in from time to time was a nurse who had been monitoring the hunter's condition. She usually looks over the needle poking into Zero's arm and takes note that his brain is still functioning.
Everyone else had a good sense to leave the two alone. Not even Yagari or Kaito steps in. The pureblood was thankful for that. He really wanted to be alone with Zero. That was how it had been for almost three years; the two of them had been partners for that long. And he only realized now how important the hunter was for him.
"Did you ever regret being partnered with me, Kiryuu?" Kaname asked suddenly as he walked alongside the hunter after their first mission. "Partnering up with a vampire really doesn't sit well with the others at the association," he added lightly though there was a hint of sadness in his garnet orbs.
"If I was going to regret things, Kuran, I would've never considered partnering up in the first place," Zero answered as he continued walking. "Come on, Kuran; don't look at me like that. Try to cheer up. I'm sure you'll be better off this way…" he added.
"You're definitely weird, Kiryuu. Is it because you know about my family history or something else?" Kaname asked curiously. But he felt glad to hear those words from Zero nonetheless.
"I dunno about that. Blame it on my momentary lapse of judgment. Does it really matter Kuran?" Zero asked as he glanced at Kaname and the pureblood tried not to stare too much at Zero's amethyst orbs.
"It depends really. Why? Does it bother you, Kiryuu?" Kaname continued in a teasing tone.
"You know, sometimes you really do get on my nerves." Zero sighed deeply as he fixed Kaname his glare while the pureblood smiled at him. Upon seeing that, the hunter's features softened a bit. "But I guess its pretty fun to be partnered up with you. I look forward to working with you, then," he added as he held out a hand to Kaname.
"Likewise, Kiryuu," Kaname said softly as he grasped the hunter's hand and shook it.
At those memories, Kaname's head hangs down low; his chin nearly touching his chest. His neck aches a bit for him to lift it and he considered settling it against the edge of his bed. Yet the pureblood was afraid that if he allowed himself that minimal amount of comfort he'll fall asleep again. Before he could decide, he heard someone shuffling against the cold, concrete floor. Probably the nurse again, he thought after a while.
"Kaname-kun?"
It wasn't the nurse, it was Takuma Ichijou. It was past the allotted visiting time and Kaname was surprised the nurse allowed Takuma to come. The pureblood had only been allowed because he used his authority on the matter and that he was given the permission by the association. He wondered how his friend managed. He didn't dwell at the present matter and he smiled at his friend. The young noble had been visiting from time to time to inquire about Zero's condition as well as to force Kaname to take care of himself.
"He's still fighting through the sedatives," Takuma says softly, while Kaname gazes at the hunter's still form. "He'll wake up soon so don't worry too much." The pureblood appreciated Takuma's optimism. It helped settle his frayed nerves a bit.
"I understand," Kaname answers back. "I'm taking care of myself properly, Takuma," he added as he noticed his friend looking at him.
"Come and get something to eat with me," Takuma prompted.
"No thank you," Kaname answers automatically.
"Can I bring you something, then?" the blond noble asks gently.
"I'm not hungry," the pureblood mutters back. As pleased as he was to see the blond noble, he also wanted him to leave if he kept forcing him. Kaname didn't want to leave the room as much as possible. He didn't want the hunter out of his sight especially with his uncle on the loose. He made that mistake before. He wouldn't let it happen again.
Takuma ignored the coldness of his tone and steps closer. He stares at the blinking lights and listens to the beeping of the machines surrounding Zero, and somehow, he understands the meaning for them. He knew that Kaname also understood those machines and he could only hope that because they have neither stopped beeping nor begun beeping rapidly, that they shouldn't worry. The hunter would get better and he'll regain consciousness soon.
Takuma produced a small bunch of beautiful orchids, the same color as the hunter's own eyes. He had bought them before visiting Zero. There were also a couple of flowers whose scent was used in aromatherapy. The florist told him that it was used for nausea and combating sleepiness. He placed the flowers in the vase next to the bed and he hoped that it would ease and help Kaname. The scent floods the room and he smiles back at Kaname's grateful look.
Several seconds pass as the two of them stare at Zero's unchanging appearance. Kaname wanted to see the hunter's eyes again. He needed to know that there was still life behind them. The hunter's breathing was shallow and he knew that it was uncomfortable. He wondered about how Zero could possibly be getting enough oxygen that way.
"Kaname, I'm worried about you as well," Takuma says into the silence and Kaname snapped away from his thoughts. The blonde's emerald green eyes were trained at him.
"Worried about me?" Kaname asks. He wanted to tell Takuma that he didn't need to. It wasn't like there was something to be worried about. He was perfectly fine. Before he could voice out his opinions, Takuma spoke again.
"You've been in here for hours."
Kaname understood what it meant. He didn't spend much time with the sick and wounded. In fact, this was the first time he refused to leave. This situation was entirely different. The pureblood didn't answer because he really didn't know what to say to make Takuma understand. Where else would I be?
"Kaname, none of this was your fault. Don't blame yourself for what happened," the noble says softly while trying to get his point across.
Kaname shook his head. It was his fault after all.
"No one can hold you responsible for the actions of your uncle. Zero understands this, you know. He wouldn't want you to carry any guilt. I know that you are a pureblood but you're going to make yourself ill this way." Takuma pauses and shuts his eyes as he realizes that he said too much. "I'm a bit afraid," he adds.
Kaname knew that Takuma had a right to be afraid. There was more than enough going around the place that is worth being afraid of? However, in all of the times everyone encountered truly dangerous situations – the missions, the murders, and rescuing Zero – not once did his friend admit his own fears. Why now?
"What are you talking about, Takuma?" Kaname whispered. The blonde noble sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. No one had been sleeping well for the past few days. Kaito had told him once that everyone was on the look out for things. Some were even taking sleeping medication just to get enough rest. Takuma moved closer and laid a hand on Kaname's shoulder. His green eyes looking at the pureblood sincerely.
"Look at you, Kaname. You've been forgetting to take care of yourself again. Besides, things are getting worse these past few days. I know because grandfather is having problems in the council. Right now, I don't know what to do anymore. I can't even tell Aido and everyone else what is happening," Takuma confessed. "I feel so lost, you know," he added mournfully.
"You've always been stronger than me, Kaname. Even after all that happened in your life, you've always moved forward. You've always done your best for everyone. When it comes to me and all of our friends, your heart could not be in a more noble and beautiful place. But the way you look at Zero, during the missions and especially now, I'm quite afraid that you won't survive."
Kaname glanced over at Takuma and attempted to grasp the noble's words. He was a bit confused. "I don't understand what you're implying, Takuma," he murmured.
"After he was captured, you were so broken. I never thought I would see you like that at all. When it comes to this hunter, everything is so strained, everything is all or nothing. When I look at you, I could see that you would be prepared to give up your life for him."
"I know that he would do the same for me."
"You are too attached to him, Kaname. Think about it, what if he doesn't wake up? What if his mind is broken after what Rido did?" Takuma asked without a hint of emotion as he pulled away. There was seriousness in the noble's tone and Kaname knew those words all too well. He had heard the doctor say things like that from the hallway. Things they tried hard enough to hide from everyone. Because of the strain and the drugs, it is likely that the hunter's mind would be ruined. There was a chance he wouldn't remember anything. There was also a possibility he might lose control of his muscles or even be paralyzed. He'd be even lucky to retain his ability to speak.
"Stop, Takuma. There is no need to say anything anymore," Kaname ordered through his tightened jaw. He couldn't stand to consider those possibilities, even if they were likely. Throughout his time in sitting there, he tried very hard to keep those thoughts out. It was either that, or lose his mind to grief completely.
The entire time he was at Rido's hands, it felt like his chest had been cracked open. He thought that he would have to learn to live with a festering hole in his body, in his own heart. But he tried; he did his best to save the hunter. He managed to do so and the opening was sealed shut. He could breathe normally again. He could think and move and hope again. But to imagine him so damaged, so destroyed, the crack in his heart would open yet again. The pureblood thought that he could not take such abuse over and over.
"Will you be able to handle it? Can you handle it?" Takuma asked.
Kaname closed his eyes so he didn't have to see Takuma's frightened face. "Please stop, Takuma. Do not test my patience," he commanded as he clenched his hands together in fists.
"Your so-called guilt is crippling your judgment, Kaname," Takuma chastises. Almost all of Kaname's close acquaintances knew that he felt a tremendous amount of guilt over what had happened to Zero. Yet Kaname thought about how could he possibly feel differently? If he felt nothing at all, wouldn't that make him the most loathsome person in the world? That would put him on the same pedestal as Rido Kuran. He nearly exploded on the implication. Takuma continues, "I'm afraid that if you don't distance yourself from it you'll miss out on what's right in front of you."
Kaname's eyes snap open and he looked at Takuma with narrowed eyes. He thought throughout the speech that his friend was inferring that he wouldn't be able to handle it if Zero was too sick, if he becomes a completely different person because of what happened. "What do you want to happen? Do you want Zero to die or be too sick so that I'll leave him alone?" Kaname answered in venomous tones. Takuma steps back, surprised at the pureblood's anger.
"No! I want you to be happy. Promise me you'll let yourself be happy," Takuma told him sincerely.
Kaname breathed out irritably in response. He stood up and takes a few steps away from the bed to stare outside the window. He couldn't even look at his friend directly. "We can't make promises like that anymore, Takuma. Not when things are out of control this time." He couldn't even fathom Takuma's words. How could his friend think of something as fleeting as happiness when it always took everything they had to simply stay alive? Besides, only Zero could make him happy. Without the hunter, everything would be dull and lifeless.
The pureblood heard his friend's footsteps as they are fading away; it seemed that Takuma decided to leave the room. He hoped that his friend realized the ridiculousness of what he had mentioned in this conversation. While Kaname stood facing the window, Takuma calls out to him softly, "Zero would also want you to think about your own happiness. Whatever that would be. Anyway, he might act cold and uncaring but he's a really nice person."
Kaname paused and tried to contain his feelings for one more second, but when he turned around, Takuma was already gone. The pureblood walked back to his previous position as he felt his chest ache at everything that had been happening and he collapsed into the uncomfortable chair next to Zero's bed. He placed his head on the mattress to rest for a little bit. He felt so drained, so pathetic and useless as some stupid tears fall from his eyes again. Wasn't it enough he cried so hard that time when he thought he was about to lose Zero? He realized that Takuma was right about one thing, his relationship with Zero was a strain. They had been continually placed in the most impossible circumstances neither of them had to endure. Zero more than himself.
His relationship with Zero was also tainted with a string of failures. Kaname wanted so desperately to keep the hunter safe. Instead, he continued to lose things over and over. A few of his close friends, his life for a few agonizing moments, and now his mind is in jeopardy. Not to mention the many time he had hurt the hunter's own feelings. Their attachment to each other is so ridiculous now that it seems so wrong. How could Zero stay with him when it only hurts the hunter more? It would be better maybe if Zero hated him for failing so many times.
Suddenly, Kaname's breathe hitches and the so-called wound in his chest opens a little bit. It wasn't because he feared for Zero's body and mind; it was because he contemplated that the hunter might hate him. He had this thought before, but never this kind of reaction. Since the beginning, their partnership had become a given. Everyone knew about it and both of them had theoretically accepted it, even if both of them didn't understand its implications or what the future might bring. If Zero didn't bother with him, the hunter would've have never gotten to this point. He would be safe. But that thought didn't bring the pureblood the joy he expected. He knew that if Zero despised him and decided that he no longer wants to stay by his side; this hole in his heart would never heal. Then again, maybe it would be the perfect punishment. Zero has suffered repeatedly as a result of being with him. It would only be right that he should take on the hunter's suffering. He didn't deserve to be healed at all.
This would be the guilt that Takuma had been accusing him of, the guilt that is supposedly crippling his better judgment. But Kaname didn't care anymore. He rarely had the chance to make his own decisions based on his own feelings. He was a person as well after all. He wasn't invincible as others viewed him. Time and time again he as well as many others had become a pawn in some greater plot that none of them understood. After his parents passed away, his life was being set up for the council. He had no choice in that matter. Things were different now. Ever since he met Zero, he learned to be selfish for once and pursue what he wanted. He understood now that Takuma was only telling him to follow his own heart.
Even if my guilt is affecting my decisions, at least they are my own decisions. At least it is my guilt, Kaname thought after a while. Sometimes, guilt was the only thing that reminded Kaname that he was still alive. Just like before when his parents died. This guilt now reminds him that Zero was still alive.
Mentally and physically exhausted, Kaname was unable to lift his head from the bed. The mattress was soft and the linens feel nice on his skin, it provided him rest from all of his aches. He knew that if he closed his eyes he would soon fall asleep. Sleeping was risky for him. The nurses might decide to move him, or Zero, and the pureblood knew that he didn't want to be separated from Zero right now.
"About your family. I didn't realize…" Zero said softly as he sat from across the table.
Kaname gazed down at my drink, twisting the cap back and forth, forth and back, wishing Zero would just let it go. "I don't like to talk about it usually," Kaname answers.
"I know what it's like to lose the people you love," Zero whispers, reaching across the table and placing his hand over the pureblood's, infusing Kaname with a feeling so good, so warm, so calm, and so safe – Kaname closes his eyes and allow it. Allow himself to enjoy the peace of it. Grateful to hear what the hunter says and not what he thinks. Like a normal person – with a much better than normal friend.
"Um, excuse me." Kaname opened his eyes to find Lilina leaning against the edge of the table, her light blue eyes widened in surprise and fixed on our hands. "I am very sorry for interrupting. Please continue." She says before hurriedly walking away, apologizing along the way.
Kaname pulled away like it's something shameful, something no one should have to see. Wanting to explain how what she saw was nothing, how it meant nothing, even though the pureblood knew better.
Kaname heard a clumsy, muffled groan, and while he tried to think about the dream, he realized that he must have fallen asleep. It wasn't for very long since the nurse might have found him when they would check in for Zero.
Zero…
Did the hunter make the sound that woke him up? A shot of adrenaline runs up on Kaname's spine and he stood up in an instant. He looked over at Zero frantically. The hunter had not moved an inch. The pureblood's eyes move back to Zero's pale features and he stood perfectly still, listening hard. Zero does not make another sound, but he takes a deeper breath, one that caused his chest to expand.
Zero's eyes open slowly. He even blinked slowly. Kaname thought that Zero was about to lose consciousness again when his eyes flicker in the pureblood's direction. The hunter only stared at him. Zero didn't even smile not move. His amethyst eyes, now dulled and nearly lifeless, only stare.
"Zero?" Kaname asked.
The expressionless way that Zero stared at him was terrifying. It wasn't like the Zero he always knew and was familiar with. Had Zero forgotten him? Had his uncle been successful in burning away his memories? The pureblood thought that maybe it would be better off that way. It didn't matter now if this crack in his heart existed. The hunter would finally be free of his attachments to him and maybe he would discover an existence where he isn't continually suffering.
"Kaname," he whispers. Zero's voice was hoarse and Kaname could barely make out the hunter's words even with his enhanced hearing. But Zero did whisper his name. It was difficult for Kaname to keep the elation from playing across his face. The hunter had not lost his ability to speak. It wasn't lost and the doctors were wrong about their assumptions.
"I'm here," Kaname answered softly. He sensed déjà vu as he realized that it was the same words he uttered to the hunter that time.
"It's me," the pureblood said, gently pushing Zero's hand down to his chest, lacing their fingers together. "Zero, it's me. It's Kaname." The pureblood's hands slipped on the hunter's; when Kaname looked down, he saw that they were wet with blood from Zero's injury and from the tears that had slid down his face without him noticing. "Zero, I love you," he said.
"You said the same thing last time," he whispers again and Kaname was surprised that Zero knew about that.
For a moment, the pureblood wondered how much Zero knew about that moment. How much had he heard? There were a lot of things he said that time and he thought realized that he said some pretty embarrassing things as well.
"Zero," Kaname begins slowly as he gulps down a growing lump in his throat. He was a bit afraid of startling the hunter so he decided to keep his sentences short and straight to the point. Zero only needed to understand that he was safe now; everything else like the one-sided bond, Rido's escape and everything else could come later. "You're fine now, Zero. Rido wasn't victorious in that fight. I made sure of that."
"But… I'm…" The hunter's breathing picked up and the machines began to beep a little faster. Kaname panicked instantly and thought of alerting the nurses, but rushing out of the room might only upset the hunter more. Instead, he stepped forward so that his hips hit the edge of the bed and placed his hands on the mattress.
"It's all right, Zero," Kaname whispered gently. If anyone heard that, no doubt they would be surprised. He had never really been gentle with anyone before Zero came to his life. "You're sick, but you're safe." The beeping began to slow down and so did Kaname's own heart rate. He noticed the hunter's hand closest to his own was trembling as Zero attempted to move and exert himself. Slowly, Kaname moved his right hand underneath Zero's and intertwined their fingers. He placed his left land on top and press gently. The hunter doesn't have the strength to squeeze back, but he was trying. It filled Kaname with hope for Zero's recovery.
Kaname looked away from their hands and up at Zero. The dullness of the hunter's eyes had washed away. Even with the small amount of artificial fluorescent lighting coming from the hallway, they are shining miraculously. Tears were falling down his cheeks.
"No, please don't," Kaname murmured. If Zero cries, he knew that he won't be able to handle it. The pureblood knew that Zero didn't have the strength to lift his arms so he disengaged their hands and placed his against Zero's cheeks. Kaname's thumbs wipe idly at the hunter's falling tears. They feel lukewarm on Kaname because his skin is so hot. He realized that Zero was running a fever. Maybe he would have to get the nurse soon. "Please don't cry," Kaname begged.
I never thought I'd see you again, Kaname. Just like last time, Zero's voice was inside his head. The bite wound that had closed already began to throb. Kaname noticed that Zero can't still seem to muster any emotion on his face. The drugs have him too fatigued. It's a little off-putting to see Zero cry without even a wrinkle between his eyes. Kaname realized that he was a mess enough for the both of them.
"Me too," Kaname answered sincerely.
I'm sorry about last time. Zero apologized and he must've sensed Kaname's surprise. I guess it's pretty weird to talk like this. I can't seem to have the strength to voice out what I want to say.
"Its fine, Zero. There no one I would trust with this but you," the pureblood said truthfully. "Besides, you're alive. That's all that matters," he informed the hunter. In the past few days, he needed to tell himself these words frequently.
Kaname couldn't hold back his sobs any longer. He was far too exhausted and too relieved. He pulled himself forward so that their foreheads touch. His skin was chilled by the drafty room and Zero's was overheating. The pureblood's whole body was shaking with tremors from his uncontrollable weeping. Their tears mix together against his hands. Kaname's eyes squeeze shut and he regretted it. What if Zero disappears from beneath his hands when he opened his eyes? Things far more fantastical than that had happened in the past after all.
You know, crying really doesn't suit you, Kaname. Zero's voice cuts through his sadness.
Kaname's breathe trembles as he exhaled and he forced his wet eyes to open. He reluctantly pushed himself back and takes a swipe at both of his dripping eyes. He laughed a bit. He really must look terrible. What would the others say if they saw him now?
"Yes, well, same for you," Kaname retorts back. Breath escapes suddenly from Zero's chest. Kaname recognize it as supposed to be a laugh, even though the hunter was unable to lift his lips into a smile. "Do you want to know how we got you out?" Kaname asked. He just wanted to keep Zero talking and get him as lucid as possible.
No. I wouldn't understand right now. I'm a little fuzzy on details.
Kaname dragged his hands down so they are resting on Zero's chest. It was foolish to keep the hunter awake. He was still very sick. "You should rest."
No! The voice in the pureblood's mind shouts suddenly. Kaname was startled and one of his hands shoots up to the side of Zero's face where he gently caressed the hunter's hair to calm him. Please, don't let me sleep right now. I could see terrible things in my dreams and I sometimes see what happened that time.
"It's okay. I'm here," Kaname tells the hunter softly as he continually caressed Zero's hair. He needed to calm the hunter's distress."And by the way, it's night. It's two-thirty in the morning. We—"
Don't say anymore. I don't care. I'm fine now.
"I apologize. I don't really know what I'm saying," Kaname confessed. The pureblood noticed Zero's hand beginning to shake again. "Don't do that. You're too sick to move. Just tell me what you want."
Just hold my hand. Zero asked tentatively. Kaname nearly laughed again, thinking back to the time when it was quite awkward for the two of them to hold hands. The pureblood braced himself as he decided to do one better. He took Zero's hand like before, but now he sat on the bed, facing the hunter, and laid their arm across his own lap. Zero still couldn't smile, but Kaname can see in the hunter's and feel in their uncompleted bond that he was happy, at least for the moment.
Tell me more about you, Kaname. Zero instructs.
Of course. His favorite topic of discussion. "I've been here, waiting for you to wake up."
And before?
"I was waiting," Kaname answered enigmatically. Zero had already said that he didn't want to know about what happened with Rido and Kaname surely didn't want to confuse the hunter with whatever was going on with the association. Zero was unaware of those things, and he would remain that way as long as possible. There was no point in filling his head with fodder for more nightmares.
What does that mean? Zero questions. By the way, just because I can speak to you this way. It doesn't mean that I could read your mind well. Although I feel that you're hiding something from me… Kaname, tell me what to think. Tell me what I don't know.
Kaname understood that he directed the hunter to him what he wanted, but the kind of information going around will be too much for Zero to handle right now. "Not now," Kaname answers softly.
Kaname hears a sigh on his head but Zero doesn't say anything more. He looks up at Zero's empty face and wiped away another stream of tears that have fallen down his cheeks. Kaname knew then that he had to face Zero and his own heart.
"If the joint project never happened, I never would have gotten to know you, would I?" Kaname said suddenly, knowing that it was a good place to start. It was simply the first place that his mind conjured as he thought about Zero.
Probably not. I'd never worked out the courage to get to know you and talk to you then. We would've gone on with our lives not knowing each other.
That time felt like an event that occurred a thousand years ago. As he looked at the hunter, he believed that Zero was a kind-hearted and strong person in the past as well as in the present. He may not have known Zero before, but he believed the hunter is the same. He is still kindness and light in a darkening world. Kaname sighed and stroke Zero's knuckles with his thumbs. The hunter sighs once again in response and his eyes look like they are becoming heavy.
"I can't help wondering what it would have been like if I didn't volunteer for this joint project. Would anything be different?" Kaname told Zero as he gazed at the hunter. "I know that life would have been quite unlike what we have now and I would have gone to the council as a member. But even as I entertain those thoughts, at the same time, I despise them, because if I never volunteered that time, you and I would've never met at all. I would always feel like I lost something very important."
But you didn't know me that well. You would still be happy.
Kaname kept staring at their hands, even though Zero's face was probably still petrified by the drugs and won't betray his emotions. Kaname knew that he would be able to recognize when he would hurt the hunter's feelings again. "Maybe," he admitted. "I'm not sure if any of us understand love or fate or destiny or whatever its name is. But, I believe timing is part of it. Perhaps, in the end, it defines all of it. I know all of that because I met you." Kaname finally looked up at the hunter. It seemed that Zero understood the significance of the words he had chosen. Kaname knew that their meeting changed everything. There was no more denying it.
Kaname. His voice whispers gently.
"I can't live with myself knowing you're hurting," Kaname acknowledged. It felt so freeing to finally accept the truths he seemed to have been struggling to understand these past months. It no longer felt like he was trapped underneath them; it felt like a relief from the strain of fighting against them.
If it's guilt that you feel—
"It doesn't matter if I felt guilt in the past or if I feel it now…" Kaname cuts him off. He paused and swallowed once so he could calm his voice. "And I know it's more than that. I'm broken. I can barely function when you are away from me. It hurts too much." He thought back on that time when he knew that Zero had been kidnapped and all that time he felt like he had been living with a massive rift in his body. Especially, that time when he felt that he almost lost Zero. He filled his heart up with grief and guilt just like Takuma accused him off, but no one offered any other kind of solace to him. No one, not even his closest friends, closed the rift completely.
Do you love me?
Kaname turned his head and looked away. Knowing that he does, knowing that he loved Zero with every strand of hair, with every skin cell, with every drop of blood, that he was bursting with love, boiling over, but he just can't bring himself to say it now. But then again, if Zero can truly read his emotions, then he shouldn't have to say it. Zero should just know.
Ever since Kaname had been a child, he had been surrounded with nothing but hate and violence. He had known punishment, he had known fear, and had known grief. What did he know of love? Instantly, he thought about Zero. Loving the hunter had always been easy and natural. He looked over at Zero, who looked at him questioningly as he remained silent after the question. The pureblood leaned forward, so his chest was hovering over Zero's and his hands rest against the hunter's shoulders.
"Let me protect you. Let me take care of you. I don't want to be separated from you, ever. Please don't push me away."
I want you to be happy, you know that, right?
"I know. You heal me. You are the only thing that closes up this hole in my chest. You make the nightmares go away. I want to do the same thing for you."
You always have, Kaname. Though you never noticed it. I thought it better to distance myself at first. Only I couldn't. I tried. I've been trying all along. But I just couldn't do it. I can't stay away from you. And now you know everything even the fact about me being a vampire. Though I think it's obvious why I couldn't be quite so forthcoming all the time.
"Zero…" Kaname whispered as he leaned forward even further so that his nose aligns next to thh hunter's. Zero's eyes were close and his hot breath fans over Kaname's lips. Zero was still too warm and the pureblood was distracted by the heat radiating off the hunter's body. He really did have to go get the nurse soon. "I do love you, Zero. You don't have to tell me the answer right now. I know how to wait, really. I've already waited this long to get to know you. I can wait even more."
You have no idea how much you've helped me. I don't know what I would've done without you. You're the only reason I got up each day and put one foot in front of the other.
"With that said. Can I kiss you?" Kaname asked. He couldn't stop himself. "Though, you can't move, and you probably won't remember this conversation," he added.
I'll remember everything. Zero vowed as he opened his eyes.
Kaname smiled softly as he held Zero's amethyst gaze with his own garnet ones. He had truly fallen in love with the hunter, a young man he barely knew before. Even now he was willing to transgress the laws of his society. After all, he could never love anyone else but Zero. He leaned closer to the hunter and he watched Zero's eyes widened in surprise. He had never kissed anyone before without some underlying reason. If he kissed the hunter now, it was because he wanted to. The idea was momentarily overwhelming to him.
His body position was a bit uncomfortable because he was not putting any weight onto Zero; there was no sense in making it more difficult for the hunter to breathe. It strains his back and neck simultaneously. Zero was still swimming in a sea of drugs and the pureblood was positive the hunter won't remember this the next time he wakes up. Maybe it was that thought that convinced Kaname to move forward, close his eyes, and press his lips against Zero's.
It was an odd kiss, Zero can barely push back, nor can he lift his arms to embrace Kaname. Still, something electric and indescribable sweeps through the pureblood – something Kaname only had a fleeting memory of. It flows through his shoulders to his fingertips, from his spine down to his toes and back again, until it whirls around in his chest sewing up the last of the rift, permanently.
Zero was so surprised at the feel of Kaname's mouth on his that he went rigid all over. He did not, however, push him away with his mind, and clearly taking this as a sign of encouragement, Kaname slid his hand behind Zero's head and deepened the kiss, parting the hunter's lips with his. The pureblood's mouth was soft, softer than Zero imagined it to be, and the hand that cupped his neck was warm and gentle. For him, Kaname tasted so sweet.
Zero let his eyes fall shut and for a moment floated dizzily in the darkness and the heat, the feel of Kaname's fingers moving through his hair.
As he turned off his ability to speak to Kaname with his mind, he could only realize one thing as Kaname kissed him. The truth is I do love him. I've loved him without ceasing. I've loved him even though I don't know when it started. I loved him even when I swore to myself that I didn't.
I can't help it… I just do…
