A Mad Tea Party Part 1
Sam, Dean and Lacey walked down the hall of the hospital until they reached the morgue.
"Maybe you should have changed." Sam said glancing at Lacey. Lacey looked down at what she was wearing. She had on a yellow vest top, denim cut off shorts and grey moccasins showing off her long legs. Dean looked her up and down too.
"I don't see anything wrong with what she's wearing." He shrugged.
"You wouldn't Dean."Sam rolled his eyes. The doctor walked out of one of the offices and joined them.
"Agents Page and Plant, FBI." Dean told him as they flashed their badges.
"Gentlemen." The doctor nodded. "What brings you here?"
"We need to see Amber Greens body." Sam told him.
"Really? What for?" The doctor asked surprised.
"The police report said something clawed through her skull?"
"You didn't read the autopsy report I emailed out this morning?"
"We had, uh server issues." The doctor nodded and led them into one of the freezers and pulled out the slab with Ambers body on it.
"When they brought her in we thought she was attacked by a wolf or something."
"Or something." Dean concurred looking down at the body.
"But we were wrong." The doctor picked up a plastic bag and showed it to them.
"Is that a..." Sam started looking shocked.
"It's a press on nail. We found it in her temporal lobe."
"Oh that is so gross." Lacey exclaimed putting a hand to her mouth. The doctor looked at her disapprovingly.
"She's new." dean exclaimed.
"Is that even possible?" Sam asked, steering the conversation back.
"Wait are you saying she did this to herself?"
"Uhuh, she scratched her brains out. It'd take hours and it'd hurt like hell, but sure it's possible."
"How?" Dean asked.
"Pick your acronym, OCD, PCP. It all spells crazy. My guess some kind of phantom itch. I mean an extreme case but."
"Phantom itch?" Sam asked.
"Yep, all it takes is someone talking about an itch or thinking about one even and suddenly you can't stop scratching."
"Thanks doc." The three of them walked away scratching.
They headed over to the house where the girl had been babysitting when she was found. Sam was in the living room interviewing the parents. Dean and Lacey were staying back letting him get on with it. Dean spotted the kid sitting at the bottom of the stairs and motioned to Lacey to follow him.
"Whatcha lookin' for?" The kid asked as they approached.
"Don't know yet. It's jimmy right?" The kid nodded.
"So Amber was your babysitter?"
"Yes sir."
"Yeah most of my babysitters sucked. Especially Mrs Chaney. She only cared about two things, Dynasty and bed time. Did you uh, see anything strange that night?"
"No sir." The kid answered woodenly.
"You sure about that?" Dean asked, suspicious.
"I would tell you if I knew something. I promise, one hundred percent. Cross my heart." The kid sounded scared.
"Well Jimmy I uh, I happen to know you're lying."
"I'm not."
"We gonna start talking truth or are you and me gonna have to take a little trip down town?" Lacey glared at him for added effect.
They met Sam on the front porch of the house.
"Anything?" Sam asked. Dean held up a small packet.
"Kid said he put this on the babysitters hairbrush."
"Dean there's no way itching powder made that girl scratch her brains out. It's just ground up maple seeds."
"If you have any other theories I'm open to 'em." Sams phone began to ring as they climbed into the Impala.
"Yeah? Yeah we'll be right there."
They headed back to the hospital. As they walked into the ward someone was being wheeled past them in a body bag. They headed over to the doctor they had spoken to earlier.
"What happened?" Sam asked.
"Guy got electrocuted."
"Any idea how?"
"Eh maybe a loose wire or a piece of equipment shorted out. So far we haven't found anything."
"Witnesses?"
"Yeah, guy in there, Mr Stanley. He says he saw it but he's not making a lick of sense. Senile."
"Thanks." Sam replied and they headed into the room to talk to the old guy.
"Um Mr Stanley?"
"It was just a joke. I didn't know it would really work."
"What would work?"
"All I did was shake his hand." He held out his hand showing them a joy buzzer. Sam and Dean looked at each other.
Dean put on a pair of goggles and leather gloves before picking up the joy buzzer. On the table in front of him was a joint of ham.
"You ready? He asked.
"Hit it Mr Wizard." Sam put his goggles on too and Lacey hid behind Sam. Dean pressed the joy buzzer to the ham and with a crackle it began to cook. When it changed color Dean pulled away from it.
"That'll do pig." Lacey peeked out from behind Sam and laughed.
"I actually get that one!"
"What the hell?" Sam asked as he removed his goggles. "That crap isn't supposed to work."
"This thing doesn't even have batteries."
"So what? Are we looking at cursed objects?"
"Sounds good." Dean cut a piece of the ham off. "Maybe there's a powerful witch in town." He ate the ham. "Is there any link between the uh, the joy buzzer and the itching powder?"
"Uh one was made in China, the other Mexico but they were both bought from the same store." Dean cut off some more ham. "Hmm." He offered some to Sam who shook his head and Lacey who wrinkled her nose.
"No thanks."
They headed over to the conjurarium where both of the objects were bought. As Sam headed towards the counter Dean and Lacey perused the aisles.
"Sam!" Dean called and with a big grin on his face held up a whoppee cushion. Sam shook his head and carried on up to the counter. Lacey smiled at Dean fondly, he was such a big kid. Dean shrugged and took the whooppee cushion up to the counter. The assistant emerged from the back room.
"Welcome to the conjurarium, sanctum of magic and mystery."
"You the owner?" Sam asked.
"Yep."
"You sold any itching powder or joy buzzers lately?"
"Yeah a grand total of one each. They aren't exactly big ticket items. Look you boys here to buy something or what?" Dean pulled out his wallet and handed the owner some cash for the whoppee cushion.
"So you get many customers?"
"Kids come in. They don't buy much, but they're more than happy to break stuff. These days all they care about are their iphones and those kissing vampire movies. The whole thing makes me just.."
"Angry?" Dean supplied.
"Yeah, yeah I am angry. This shop has been my life for twenty years, and now it's wasting away to nothing."
"Which is why you hate them."
"I suppose."
"You wish there was something you could do about it."
"Yeah I guess I do."
"So you're taking revenge." Dean pulled a rubber chicken off a nearby display and slammed it onto the counter. "With this." He pressed the joy buzzer to the chicken. It began to crackle and melt. The owner leapt back with a yelp.
"Oh! No!" He stared dumbfounded at the chicken.
"Something tells me this guy is not a powerful witch."
"Sorry. Sorry." Dean called as they hastily left the store.
After the disastrous events at the magic shop the previous day Lacey was hoping todays trip would be a little more fruitful. They had got a call from the doctor they had seen yesterday to say that they had another strange case admitted to the hospital that morning. Lacey and Sam were leaning against the wall in the reception area waiting for Dean who had gone to speak to the doctor. He appeared moments later talking to one of the nurses.
"Well I appreciate that Nurse Fremont." He said glancing at her name tag. Lacey felt anger building inside her.
"Please... call me Jen."
"Oh, Jen it is." Lacey sighed and glanced down at herself. She was wearing black uggs, black and white tie dye trousers, a black band t-shirt and a thick grey cardigan. Dean seemed to notice everyone but her. Sure he flirted occasionally but she felt it was more part of his nature than he actually liked her. Dean approached them and clapped his hands together.
"What's up with toothless? Cavity creeps get a hold of him?" He asked referring to the guy who had been attacked and had all his teeth removed.
"Yeah close. He wrote up a description." Sam replied leafing through his notebook. "Five foot ten, three hundred and fifty pounds, wings and a pink tutu. Said it was the tooth fairy."
"So he's obviously whacked out on painkillers."
"Maybe. Whatever it was got past locked doors and windows without triggering the alarm."
"Come on. Tooth fairy?"
"And it left 32 quarters underneath his pillow. One for each tooth."
"Well, I will see your crazy and raise you some. There's a couple of kids with stomach ulcers, say they got it from mixing Pop Rocks and Coke. Another guy, his face... froze that way."
"What way?" sam frowned. Dean pulled the sides of his mouth wide and crossed his eyes. Lacey sighed and rolled her eyes. Dean glanced at her questioningly but she looked away.
"Uh he held it too long and it... stuck. They're flying in a plastic surgeon."
"So I mean if you add all that up... I got nothing."
"I thought sea monkeys were real." Dean said randomly.
"They are. They're brine shrimp."
"No, no, no I mean like in the ads. You know like the sea monkey wife cooks the pot roast for the sea monkey husband , and the sea monkey kids play with the dog in a sea monkey castle, real. I mean I was six but I believed it."
"Okay."
"Point is...maybe that's the connection. The tooth fairy, the Pop rocks and Coke, the joy buzzer that shocks you, they're all lies that kids believe."
"And now they're coming true. Okay so whatever's doing this is..is reshaping reality. It has the powers of a god or of a trickster." Sam said rolling his eyes.
"Yeah with the sense of humour of a nine year old."
"Or you." Lacey snickered.
Lacey was still a bit miffed with Dean so she went with Sam. Once they had got the information they needed they headed back to the motel where they found Dean polishing off more of the ham.
"Dude seriously still with the ham?" Sam asked pulling a face.
"We don't have a fridge." Dean reasoned. Sam pulled a map out and laid it out on the table.
"Well I found something." He said pointing to red x's that he had marked. "Um tooth fairy attack was here, Pop Rocks and Coke was here, then you've got itching powder , face freeze and joy buzzer all located within a two mile radius."
"So we got a blast zone of weird and inside fantasy becomes reality."
"Looks like."
"And what's the A-bomb at its centre?"
"Four acres of farmland and a house."
"Our motel isn't in that circle by any chance?"
"Yeah. Why?" Dean held up his hand, the palm covered in hair. Sam closed his eyes and shook his head. "Ugh dude. That's not what I think it is, is it?" Lacey scrunched up her forehead.
"What do you think it is?"
"I got bored, that nurse was hot."
"You know you can go blind from that too."
"Give me five minutes. We'll go check out that house." Dean said heading towards the bathroom.
"Hey do not use my razor!" Sam yelled after him.
"I don't get it." Lacey said turning to Sam. "What is it?"
"I'll tell you when you're older." Sam replied, chuckling at the look she gave him.
A/N: Thank you for the reviews, follows and favourites, I'm glad you're still enjoying it! Please let me know what you think of this chapter :)
