Motoki

It feels like the entire world is thrown off its axis and freezes mid turn. I feel the air leave my lungs in a painful whoosh. For I second I wonder if I heard her correctly. Mamoru? Horrible, mean, lonely Mamoru? I can literally feel her staring at me trying to decipher my reaction. I don't know what to say. It seems as though all logical thought has flown right out of my head. Not in a single one of the scenarios I mapped out in my head did I see this coming. I understand the physical reaction to Mamoru the girls have, but never have I been able to figure out how they could stand the personal side of him. Never once have I seen Mamoru genuinely engage a member of the opposite sex in a personal fashion. Besides a few acquaintances from school he has never showed an ounce of respect for any woman. To think Usagi is one of the many girls to fall for him. It's inconceivable. As I sit here looking stupid for all intents and purposes I wonder for the hundredth time what the hell am I supposed to say? I glance up at her face and see her heart broken reaction to my silence.

Finally after what seems like a million years I manage to stutter out a "WOW".

I can see the tears threaten to fall from her sad sapphire gaze. I cough lightly and try again.

"I thought you hated him? What happened?"

She sniffles for a second and clears her throat. "I don't know. I want to hate him. I wish with every fiber of my very being that I could hate him. I just-"she sighs and wipes a stray tear from her eye before continuing. "When I look into his eyes," she begins "it's like I get lost. I can't breathe and I'm wrapped up in wishing I could touch him. I knew from the second I laid eyes on him that he was the one."

I sit in silence watching as she talks about my best friend. Somewhere deep in my heart I feel a pang of sadness. What is it with him? How do the girls literally fall at his feet? No matter how hurtful the words that spew out of his mouth they just keep coming back. I wonder not for the first time if it's just the shallowness of all the girls around. Why else would they put up with his snarky attitude? I look at Usagi and I cannot see how it could be because of his looks. She is nothing like the trashy and money hungry girls that usually chase him around. At least I hope not.

"I don't even know what it is Toki. I hate myself so much for feeling this way. I don't want to like him. When he opens his mouth I'm struck with this unbearable urge to hit him, but as always when I look into his eyes I drown. "She looks lost in thought for a second like she is contemplating whether or not to say whatever else is on her mind.

"I wanted it to be you." She says so softly I barely hear her.

Update #2 of 2