Ah folks, you truly rock, you know that? I got an amazing rush of fanfic review love and just had to post the next chapter for you! I love this chapter, and I hope you will too. Though be warned...they try out some bran 'spankin' new sex things ; )
Chapter 12 - The Hand that Feeds, Nine Inch Nails
In the morning, he woke before she did, and healed her arm. Then he watched as she turned, stretched, and blinked up at him. Her sweet smile made his chest feel tight. She rolled over onto her stomach and stretched again. Severus pulled the blanket off of her to fully appreciate the sight. What the hell,he thought. He leaned over, kissed her shoulder and then blanketed her body with his own. She looked over her shoulder at him and he kissed her temple. She murmured appreciatively when he parted her legs and thrust into her. He laced their fingers together again and moved slowly. She arched her back and nuzzled her cheek against his, whispering his name.
He wanted more of her, he wanted to be able to touch her everywhere. He considered flipping her over and taking her face to face. But though he'd come a long way in their short time together, he wasn't ready for that yet. Instead he wrapped his arms around her and rolled over onto his back without pulling out of her. They were both looking up at the ceiling, with Severus' legs bent at the knees and Hermione's legs hooked over his. With one hand he cupped her breasts, kneading them. With the other he slid down her belly to between her legs. His heels dug into the mattress as he thrust upwards, stroking her at the same time. Her arms came up over her head and threaded into his hair. She turned her head and kissed him hard, her moans of pleasure lost in the kiss.
They came together, breaking their kiss to gasp for breath. Once their thundering hearts had calmed, Hermione turned over so they were chest to chest. She looked at him for a long time, saying nothing. Then she kissed him, flashed him that cheeky grin of hers, and got out of bed. Severus followed behind her. When she went to the closet to find clothes, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back against him, kissing her shoulder. She giggled and swatted him away. He growled against her skin, called her a wench, and then went to get his own clothes on.
He reached the kitchen before she did and set about making their tea. She was wearing a sunny little dress when she came in. He looked wolfishly over her bare feet and legs, then up to the barest hint of cleavage showing. He loved the way tight pants gripped her ass, but he loved the way she looked in dresses more. There was something so utterly soft and feminine about her in them. It called to him on a purely masculine level- not to mention showed off her shapely legs.
She started to pull a few things from the cupboards to make breakfast, but Severus caught her around the middle.
"Not this morning. Sit. Its my turn to make breakfast." He gave her a gentle shove towards the little table in the corner. She looked him over and narrowed her eyes at him.
"Who are you and what have you done with my Severus?" She sat down and crossed her arms.
"Before you came along I was more than capable of feeding myself. And since you've been cooking for me for several weeks now, its only fair that I reciprocate." He turned back to the cupboards, unable to forget the way she'd called him her Severus. What the fuck was wrong with him? He wasn't some mooning teenager with his first crush! So why did he want to make a meal for her? Why did he want to take care of her, protect her, tell the whole world that she was his?
It was ridiculous, dangerous, and downright stupid. And yet he still made the damn breakfast.
Hermione didn't sit in her usual place when they ate. Instead of sitting at the opposite end of the long dining room table, she sat in the chair directly to his right. Their elbows brushed occasionally during the meal, and their knees bumped under the table. They shared intimate looks and spoke of light, meaningless things. Neither of them had patience for small talk, but they seemed to have silently reached a mutual decision to keep the conversation easy that morning.
Severus lingered over his food. It was past the time he usually started his research, but he found himself not wanting to leave the table- and her company. When he could put it off no longer, he rose and turned to leave for his study.
"Would I be too much in the way if I accompanied you today?" Her voice made him pause and he turned back to her. "I don't want to distract you or anything, but there are a few potions I've been meaning to replenish. If its not too much trouble," she added.
"Trouble, none at all. Distraction? Definitely." He pulled her to him and cupped her ass under the dress. "I think I can make due though." He gave her ass a firm smack that made her gasp in pleasure. When he turned, she followed him into the study.
They worked most of the day with no problems. At lunch he ate fruit off of her body and then bent her over his desk for a fast, rough fuck. Towards evening they both took the books they were reading into the living room. Severus made dinner when they got hungry. It was late when they went up to bed, but neither of them were particularly tired despite their long talk the night before.
"So what debauchery do you have in mind for tonight?" Hermione asked when they reached the bedroom.
"What if I don't have anything planned?" he asked, curious as to what she would say. She simply shrugged.
"I think you can improvise if that's the case."
"I can, but I won't have to tonight. There is something I want to do tonight that should fulfill the debauchery requirement just fine." He backed her against the wall and kissed her. While their tongues tangled, he slowly unzipped her dress and let it fall from her shoulders and pool on the floor. He pinned her arms over her head and leaned down to whisper into her ear.
"You've been a very bad girl, pet." His words made her shiver in anticipation. "I'm going to have to punish you. And maybe, if you're a good little slut, I'll let you come." She moaned as his words sent a physical rush of pleasure through her. "Are you my good little slut, pet?"
"Yes," she moaned.
"Yes what?" he demanded harshly.
"Yes...sir?" She searched his eyes and felt a thrill of pride when she saw triumph light his face.
"That's right pet. Now...lets take care of a few things." With a flick of his wand, there was a blindfold over her eyes. Deprived of sight, all her other senses tingled with heightened awareness. He quickly stripped her of her bra and panties and then led her to the bed. She started to climb on it but he stopped her. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her across his lap. "I'm going to spank you now, pet. I want you to count them out for me. And when we are done you are going to thank me for punishing you." His hand caressed her ass and he could feel her getting wet already.
In one quick move he tied her hands together behind her back. Then he let his hand fall in the first smack. She gasped and squirmed. He paused, waiting. After a moment, she stopped twisting.
"One," she moaned. He spanked her again, and again. He moved his hand constantly so she never knew where the blow would come from, never making one area too sore. Her ass had turned bright pink and her skin was warm to the touch but she was nearly crying with pleasure. He would stop and stroke her between the legs occasionally, making sure she stayed aroused and on edge.
When she moaned a nearly incoherent twenty he thrust two fingers inside of her and stroked her hard. She screamed and came violently on his fingers. While she was still clenching in aftershocks, he flipped her onto her back on the bed. He pushed her legs high and wide, her knees against her shoulders and then thrust himself inside of her. He pounded her relentlessly, fucking her hard and fast until he came inside of her.
It was the closest he'd ever come to face to face sex, even as quick as it had been. When he collapsed next to her he wondered if that meant anything about them. Could he someday be comfortable enough with her to have sex with her in the missionary position? It sounded slightly dull as far as his other sexual exploits went, but he knew that with her, it would be erotic because of its intimacy. He would be able to look her in her eyes as he took her, kiss her, really and thoroughly love her.
Love?
Did the idea of loving Hermione appeal to him? Sexually, absolutely. Emotionally? He wasn't sure. For most of his life now he'd been convinced he wasn't capable of true love. But with Hermione... If he really was capable of love, she would be the one he wanted to love.
She stirred against him and cleared her throat.
"Um...Sev?"
"Yes, pet?"
"Could you untie my hands?" She twisted so she was on her side and he realized her hands were still tied behind her back.
"Fuck! I'm sorry Hermione!" He undid her binds with a flick of his fingers and pulled off her blindfold as well. He'd accidentally left her hands tied, and he'd fucked her hard on her back. Her shoulders would be aching. He castigated himself for his negligence.
"Its all right. I didn't even really notice them until we were done." She chuckled. "You drive me to distraction."
He moved up until he could rest his back against the headboard and then pulled Hermione against his chest. Once she was comfortable he started rubbing her shoulders. She moaned in bliss and melted into his hands. He rubbed from her neck down to her hands and then leaned her forward and rubbed her back. When he was finished she was boneless and nearly asleep.
"I broke my promise tonight, Hermione. I am truly sorry." He whispered the words while pulling her close. Her eyes fluttered open and she furrowed her brow in confusion.
"What, did you change your mind about monogamy without telling me?"
"No, I hurt you."
"Well my ass is a little sore but I kinda like that." She smiled at him. "If you're talking about my arms, don't worry, Sev, honestly. I'm fine. I'm pretty flexible so they didn't give me much trouble."
"I know you're flexible. I can personally attest to that after tonight's fuck, but still, I shouldn't have forgotten about your hands."
"You're not god, Severus. You can't be perfect all the time."
"In here, you turn yourself over to me completely. I might as well be god. I can't expect you to trust me if I make mistakes. It won't happen again." He looked so serious that Hermione decided not to argue. She kissed his nose.
"Ok then. You're forgiven."
"Thank you," he murmured. He pulled her even closer and rested his chin the top of her head. As he fell asleep, he counted his lucky stars that Hermione had come to his door that night all those weeks ago.
He was running, running as fast as he could. He was in a dark hallway that stretched endlessly. His father was behind him, and he was angry. So very angry. Severus' small legs burned as he tried to go faster, to get away. But he never could escape his father. He was bigger, stronger, and there was nothing Severus could do to stop it. He gasped for air as his lungs burned but he could still hear the thundering footsteps behind him. He ran faster, praying for a surge of speed- a hand caught him on the shoulder. He screamed, but the sound wouldn't come out. He looked up at the familiar face, twisted with rage. A face enough like his own that he could hate his own reflection as much as his fathers. Suddenly they weren't in the hall any more. They were in his bedroom. He was being dragged towards the bed. He screamed soundlessly again and struggled with everything he had. It didn't matter. There was nothing he could do it stop it. He felt himself pushed down on the bed on his stomach. He panicked as he realized he was naked, completely vulnerable. Warm skin pressed against him, burning him as cold dread iced his veins. He felt the hand press down on his back, forcing him to bend. Then there was the thrust, the pain, the anguish. He buried his face in the blanket and cried. Time had no meaning. He was pinned down for eternity, used, hurt- endlessly. Then suddenly he felt a change. It shocked him and made him open his eyes. He wasn't a child any longer. He was a man, bigger than his father, stronger. And now it was Severus who had someone pinned to the bed. He felt powerful, omniscient, orgasmically drunk with it. The small body under him was pale and still, except that the shoulders shook with sobs. The head turned- it was Hermione, tears streaming down her cheeks. She looked at him with that empty, hollow look he'd seen on the face of children once before. That look that haunted him. "You swore you's never hurt me," she whispered brokenly. The emotional agony that tore up through him split him from the nightmare. Suddenly he was observing, watching as the demonic version of himself raped her. It turned its cold eyes to him and then down to her. With an evil smile it took her harder, laughing when she screamed. Severus was trapped outside, unable to reach them, to help her, to save her from himself. He beat against the invisible barrier that kept him out and screamed her name. It went on and on. He could only scream her name in horror.
"Severus?" Hermione shook him sharply, concern etched on her features when he looked at her.
"Hermione!" He pulled her close and then put her at arms length to look her over. Aside from a few new marks on her arm, she was unharmed. She was safe. It had been a nightmare. Of course it had been. He pulled her tightly against his chest again. "Thank god," he whispered. Hermione pulled back slightly and looked up at him.
"You were calling my name," she said softly. Her hand rose to his face and she gently touched his cheek. Her fingers came back wet. Tears. She looked like she was aching for him. "Severus-"
"It was just a dream," he said, stroking her hair. "Nothing to worry about." They lay there in silence for a long time. Finally she spoke again.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I'm not sure that would do either of us any good."
"Was it about your father?"
"It started that way, but in the end, no. It wasn't." He stopped, unsure what else to say. Would she press him further? She didn't say anything else, but the silence felt heavy in the air. "It was me," he said finally. "Me, doing to you what he did to me."
"Oh Severus, how awful. I'm so sorry."
"Its nothing Hermione. Just lingering guilt about what happened earlier mixing with bad memories. I'm fine." His voice was rough with emotion that belied his words.
"Being afraid of turning into him doesn't make you weak, you know." She stroked his chest softly.
"What?" He spoke sharply, eyes finding hers in the darkness.
"Your dream. You're afraid you'll turn into your father. You're afraid you'll hurt me the way you were hurt. That fear doesn't mean that you're weak. Just the opposite, in fact. The easy thing to do would be to not worry about it. To decide that if you do then its not your fault. The hard thing is to fear it and strive to make sure it doesn't happen. You're very strong, Severus. Never forget that. Very strong and very brave." She laid her head over his heart. "I trust you."
Severus stroked her hair and tried to believe what she's said.
He just hope that one day that trust wouldn't get her hurt.
What did you all think? I couldn't help but ache for him in this chapter! Poor Sev, desperatley afraid he will hurt Hermione, fighting the knowledge that he loves her... And just wait, big events happen in the next chapter! Is a cure in sight for Hermione? Tune in next week to find out!
