This chapter took me forever and I'm still not completely happy with it. I feel like it's a mess, but I like that this is the beginning of a darker turn for the story. I am also going to start doing both Ben and Rey's POV and we are going to see more of Ben's life. Hope ya'll enjoy it.

Oh and in this chapter, we skip about a month to Ben's 16th birthday. Rey is still 12, but she's turning 13 soon.


They send me away to find them a fortune

A chest filled with diamonds and gold

The house was awake, the shadows and monsters

The hallways, they echoed and groaned

Control by Halsey

Rey is the first person to wish Ben a happy birthday.

She calls him at exactly midnight, part of Ben stayed up in hopes that she would.

"You are soooo old now. Soon you'll be an old man and you'll need a crane and a nurse to follow you around," Rey teases.

"Hey, watch it! Or I won't drive you around when I get my license," Ben warns, but they both know it's an empty threat.

"Woah, you're old enough to drive now," Rey says as if she's just realizing it's his 16th birthday.

She sounds serious now.

"You really are old."

Ben groans.

"Well I feel old," he says closing his eyes.

He barely slept last night, not that he would mention it to Rey. He didn't want her to worry.

He had felt restless since she left, but hearing her voice helped.

"Thank you for calling me kiddo."

He can practically see her rolling her eyes at that nickname and it makes him smile.

"You're welcome, I hope you have a good day and survive school," she says semi-honestly.

"I'll try," Ben says bitterly.

"You will. Don't do anything stupid," Rey says completely serious.

"Sure," Ben lies.

"You should sleep too, don't you have that English essay due tomorrow?" Ben asks.

Now it's Rey's turn to groan.

"I do, and I hate it, and I'm glad to finally be done with it. I'd rather take a quiz in Math," Rey says scathingly.

"You are so weird," Ben says awed. He always hated Math and Science, but Rey seemed to thrive on it. She was so much smarter than he was at her age. Not that he would tell her that.

"Well, goodnight, hope your English teacher doesn't bite," Ben tells her teasingly.

Rey snorts at his stupid joke.

"Goodnight and Happy Birthday Ben."

It was not a happy birthday for Ben.

Birthdays usually weren't for him.

Ben hated being the center of attention.

In the past, Leia would usually force Han to have dinner with them, even if they were fighting or Ben didn't want to and it would become a tense, awkward mess with presents that Ben never really wanted.

Han wasn't here now.

Which was somehow worse.

Ben swears he could feel his father sometimes. Like a ghost that followed him wherever he went. But Ben was still left feeling empty and alone.

Thankfully, Rey was in his life now, which made things better, but she couldn't always be with him. She was far away and happy without him. At least, that's how Ben felt sometimes. Like Rey would be better off not caring about someone like Ben. Like she would be happier without him and his issues.

Ben woke up to his mother shaking him awake and wishing him a happy birthday before school. Ben felt the same tired, heavy energy that had been haunting him for months. They ate breakfast in a heavy silence.

Han's ghost being too loud.

She kissed his cheek and promised him that they would have dinner at Maz and order all the deserts that they could eat.

Ben was okay with that. One quick dinner, some awful gifts and some time with his mother. He could manage it. Maybe even be happy.

Ben arrived at school on time for once. Usually, he would sleep in late and be late to school, but his mother had actually woken him up this time and she didn't let him be late.

Ben hated school, but most of the time he could handle it.

He didn't speak to anyone, and most people, even the teachers, knew not to bother him unless they wanted trouble.

Ben welcomed the loneliness like an old friend.

School had even been easier after Han died. It seemed like the teachers didn't care if he was tardy or if he didn't turn in homework anymore. Everyone gave him a pass.

At least for now.

Ben ignored everyone, and everyone ignored him.

Everyone except Hux and Phasma.

They were harder to ignore.

He had known them before Leia forced him to go to this pretentious high school.

Their parents knew each other from long ago which meant that they were forced on playdates when they were younger. Until Ben grew tired of the forced nature of the arrangement and decided to throw fits every time Leia tried to force him to be "friendly".

Leia finally got the message after Ben punched Hux for stealing his crayons.

Ben only had to see them on special occasions afterward, but then high school came and Leia decided that only the best school would do for her child and Han wasn't home so he had no say in the matter, not that he would've cared. And the best school came with Hux and Phasma.

Sometimes Ben felt like fate was trying to make him give up and accept being lumped in with them. But Ben didn't want to give fate the pleasure.

Ben managed to make it until lunch in isolated peace.

Then Phasma sat down in front of him.

Tall, and blonde, and the meanest girl Ben had ever met.

He hated her, yet he respected her in an odd way.

When they were little Ben had put his gum on her long blonde hair because she asked him why his Dad wasn't home. She screamed at him until her face went red and then she slapped him.

They had to cut her hair and she had never grown it out again.

Now she hung around him like he owed something to her.

What that was, Ben could never tell.

"Happy Birthday," she told him in an unexcited and bored voice.

"Gee, thank you," Ben said sarcastically.

"You should guilt your mom into buying you a car," she told him as she picked at her lunch food.

"You should mind your own business," Ben told her bitterly. He hated that she knew so much about him. She had even gone to Han's funeral, Ben didn't know if it was for appearances or because she wanted to go. Either way, it didn't matter. The only person Ben paid attention to during that awful time was Rey. He didn't need Phasma there.

Phasma rolled her eyes and then she smirked as Hux sat down next to Ben.

Ben felt nothing but dread.

"How's our Birthday Boy doing? Ready to burn down the school?" Hux said disinterestedly.

"As long as you're inside," Ben said semi-seriously.

Hux snorted.

"You hurt me," Hux said dramatically with his hands over his chest.

"You don't have a heart," Phasma retorted.

"None of us do," Hux said staring at Ben intensely.

Ben didn't want to hear him. He missed holiday break and being away from both of them. And he missed Rey.

"So, any wild plans for tonight?" Hux asked, sounding interested for once.

"None, that you are invited for," Ben responded.

"You are no fun," Hux whined flippantly, "And you ignored my calls all break."

Ben rolled his eyes.

"I was busy. Besides the holidays are a time for family."

"Yeah, but you barely have a family," Hux responded cruelly.

Ben felt blood rush to his head and his hands tightened to fists.

He remembered wanting to punch Hux as children and sometimes that feeling seemed to have never left. Especially when Hux was being a bastard.

Thankfully, the bell rang before Ben could explode all over that cafeteria.

"Saved by the bell," Phasma murmured regretfully. She always loved to egg on Ben's anger, like it was a fun pastime.

"Call me if you want to have some real fun tonight," Hux told him coolly.

With that, Ben got up and quickly walked away from them.

He didn't look back.

By the time he got back home after school, Ben was almost excited. As sad as it sounded, spending his crappy birthday with his mother would calm him down.

But Leia wasn't home.

Instead, Ben found a note on the kitchen counter.

Had an emergency at the office.

I'll be home late.

I'm so sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you.

Love, Mom

It wasn't the first time Ben had come home from school to a note with his mother's elegant handwriting. There had been so many notes, sometimes Ben didn't bother to look at them. They always had the word "sorry".

It wasn't enough for Ben.

Was she really sorry? Was she ever sorry? Was one night with Ben really so horrible?

He sat on the kitchen stool for a long time listening to the emptiness of the house and the pounding blood in his ears. Then his phone went off interrupting Ben's spiraling thoughts. For a moment he thought it would be Leia. She would apologize and say that she was on her way back. Work could wait, and she wanted to spend his birthday with him. Ben would still be furious, but he would forgive her, and everything would be okay.

I'm bigger than my body

I'm colder than this home

I'm meaner than my demons

I'm bigger than these bones

But it wasn't Leia.

It was Hux.

Ben knew he shouldn't answer, but something in him didn't have the energy to stop himself. Something in him was ready to break.

"Ready for your birthday gift? Last chance to join tonight's festivities," Hux told him in a tone that was half bored amusement and a poor attempt at seduction. Ben should've blocked him a long time ago, but somehow Hux was always there when Ben wanted to destroy something or someone or himself.

Ben thought of Rey's disappointed face if she saw him right now, but she was so far away. Ben was alone. He didn't want to be.

"Fine. What grand plans do you have for tonight?" Ben asked ruefully.

Ben could almost see Hux smirk.

"I knew I'd wear you down eventually."

"Yes, like black mold," Ben told him nastily.

Hux just chuckled at Ben's awfulness.

"I'll pick you up soon. It's a surprise. Something tells me you'll like it."

And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me"

I can't help this awful energy

God damn right, you should be scared of me

Who is in control?

Ben had almost walked away as Hux led him to some abandoned neighborhood in a shitty part of town. Ben figured they were going to another party, but then they walked passed beat-up houses and finally stopped outside a dark grey building.

Ben could hear voices inside, but no music. There were cars outside and motorcycles, but the streets remained empty.

He had asked Hux multiple times where the hell they were going, but he only shook his head.

"Are you taking me to a crack house?" Ben asked haughtily.

Sure, Ben wanted to get in trouble tonight, but going to the middle of nowhere to do hardcore drugs with Hux seemed a little too much. Ben wasn't that much of an idiot.

"Don't be arbitrary," Hux said as he knocked on the locked door of the building.

A huge guy with neck tattoos and piercings opened the door.

He looked at them and suddenly Ben realized that they probably looked like rich, dumb kids looking for a fix. Ben looked at Hux, thinking they should just run away, but Hux stared ahead coolly.

For a moment Ben was impressed by Hux's persistence. Then Hux reached out his left arm and pulled his leave up to reveal a tattoo on the inside of his wrist.

Ben was speechless.

It was a black sixteen-rayed symbol inscribed within a hexagon.

Ben had no idea that Hux was the type to get something so permanent. But more importantly, Ben had no idea why. Why were they here? Why did Hux show the scary dude at the door his tattoo? And why did the scary dude step aside and told them to come in?

Ben couldn't think.

Hux stepped inside. Ben followed.

They went down a dark hallway that lead them further inside.

On his pocket, Ben felt his phone go off.

This time it was Leia.

But it was far too late.

Ben hit ignore and turned it off. He could not handle speaking to his mother tonight.

They entered a huge room with a huge crowd. It was like they were in some underground concert, but there was no band. People chatted around Ben and Hux.

Some of them looked as scary as the man that answered the door. Some were dressed normally. No one was doing heroin like Ben expected. They looked like they were waiting, some were getting impatient.

Then the lights shut off.

The crowd cheered around him as the room darkened.

A spotlight shone on the center.

Two lone figures came into the center of the room, Ben got closer as the crowd rushed forward. There was the same symbol tattooed on Hux's arm marked in the center of the room where the two figures stood.

A bell was rung. The crowd grew louder as the first hit was thrown.

Ben had never seen anything like it.

They went at each other like animals.

There were no rhymes or rhythm to their movements. Just two men in the center of the circle, no one else inside. No one else dared cross the black line. No one stopped them.

The men fought.

Hit after hit until they both turned blue and bloody. The crowd cheered and booed when one of them would fall on the floor. Ben figured they should stay down, but they wiped their blood from their face and got up. They circled each other as the crowd cheered and started attacking each other again.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Hux said from beside him.

Finally, the fight was over once someone couldn't get up from the floor.

Their bloody, unconscious body was dragged away by someone. And the bell rung again.

Ben was mesmerized.

"It is."

Ben watched as two more fighters entered the ring. Hux cheered beside him.

"I bet $200 on the big one," Hux mentioned lightly, as if he could drop $200 in the trash and it would mean nothing to him.

"Is everyone betting?" Ben asked curiously.

"Some. Others just like watching. Others like participating," Hux scoffed, "They must be crazy to actually want to kill each other."

Ben didn't find it crazy at all.

For the first time in a long time, everything seemed so clear and simple.

Unbeknown to either of them, a figure stood off on the other side of the building. Far away enough to not be seen by the boys, but close enough to recognize their faces.

Snoke looked at Ben's hungry eyes from a distance.

He could smell fresh meat from a mile away.

Ben cheered as fresh blood was spilled.

I paced around for hours on empty

I jumped at the slightest of sounds

And I couldn't stand the person inside me

I turned all the mirrors around

Rey woke up choking on a scream.

Her hands scratched at her throat as she tried to take in breaths.

It was the second time this week that she had woken up in complete utter panic.

It was the same nightmare.

Over and over again.

Sometimes she would wake up before they got to the bad part and she would stay awake all night, too afraid to close her eyes. Other times she would be stuck in her dreams until she woke up in a fit of panic.

She had thought that after talking with Ben and wishing him a happy birthday, her nightmares would go away for a night. But they didn't. They were getting worse.

She would dream of that night, in the dark alleyway. The thief holding his knife on her neck. Ben didn't show up. Rey tried to scream for help, but nothing came out. She tried and tried but her voice was gone, and the knife grew closer until the masked thief slit her throat.

Even though it was just a dream Rey could swear she felt the blood dripping down her neck. Warm and dark and awful. She started choking on it.

Then she would wake up.

It had been this way since she got back home after New Year's.

Rey thought that with some time it would go away but it hadn't.

Thankfully, Luke hadn't noticed her distress except for the dark circles under her eyes. He just thought she was spending too much time on her computer or watching TV. Rey let him believe that.

She was getting good a pretending she was okay.

I'm bigger than my body

I'm colder than this home

I'm meaner than my demons

I'm bigger than these bones

And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me"

I can't help this awful energy

God damn right, you should be scared of me

Who is in control?

Things had been odd since coming back home from holiday break. Rose and Finn had greeted her with big hugs and smiles on the first day back to school, but then a weird tension set in. They would still hang out and Rose would come over to do homework, but Rey could tell they were hiding something. Sometimes Finn looked guilty. Sometimes Rose looked angry. Rose was never angry, and Finn never did anything bad enough to be guilty about. It was confusing and frustrating.

Rey kept hoping that whatever weirdness was going on would disappear eventually, but it didn't.

It just got worse.

Rey stepped into school, bleary-eyed and tense from her nightmares.

Usually, she would meet up with Rose and Finn at her locker and they would talk before first period or catch up on homework, but this morning Rose wasn't there, and a frowning Finn stood against her locker.

He looked panicked once he saw her.

"Hey," Finn squeaked.

"Hey, where's Rose? Don't you guys usually walk to school together? Was she sick?" Rey said worrying immediately.

"No, no, no. She's fine. I think. It's just… I wanted to talk to you. Alone. In private," Finn said fumbling his words and looking nervous.

"What's going on?" Rey demanded.

She was sick and tired of this weird behavior. She wanted her best friends back.

Finn took a deep breath and finally looked at Rey's intense stare.

"Well… you know how we spent New Year's together? Me and Rose?"

Rey remembered that Rose had called her on New Year's Eve and told her she was going over to Finn's house to watch the ball drop. Rey had told her to have fun and she would see her next year. Rose laughed at that.

"Yeah, and?" Rey asked.

"Rose kissed me," Finn said so fast that Rey needed a second to make sure she heard right.

Finn and Rose.

Rose and Finn.

"It just happened, and I was confused, and I pushed her away and she got sad. And then she got angry. And now everything is ruined isn't it?" Finn said anxiously.

Rey always thought they liked each other, but it felt weird knowing that they actually kissed. Rey never thought about kissing anyone in her school. Rey figured they were all too young to think about that stuff, but Finn and Rose were a couple months older than her and Rey figured kissing was different when you were 13.

Rey wondered when Ben had his first kiss. He was sixteen today. So, some girl must have tried already. Rey wondered who and when it happened and suddenly everything was awful.

"Rey?" Finn said as Rey was shaken away from her revolving thoughts.

"But why did you push her away? I kind of always thought you liked her. And why haven't either of you told me" Rey asked, starting to feel a bit angry and left out.

Finn got that guilty look on his face again.

"I thought I did like her but… then I thought of you…" Finn said shyly, looking at the floor.

"What about me?" Rey said feeling completely confused.

"I like you," Finn said exasperated, "and I told Rose and she ran out and then you came back, and everything's weird now."

Suddenly, everything made sense. Rose's anger and Finn's sad eyes.

"You don't like me," Rey said sure of it.

Finn stared at her wide-eyed.

"You can't just tell me I don't like you, Rey. I'm sure of my feelings," Finn said looking braver than before.

"I'm sorry, Finn. But I just…." Rey struggled to find her words. She wanted to be clear, but gentle. She loved him, he was one of her best friends. And she knew that was what he would always be. She wanted him to be her friend for the rest of her life.

"I don't feel the same way. You're my best friend and I want that to stay the same. Always."

Finn looked crushed.

Rey felt horrible, even though she only said the truth. She wanted to call Ben and talk to him about it. She felt awfully confused and out of her element.

"I get it," Finn said solemnly.

The bell rung interrupting their conversation.

Rey thanked it.

"I should head to class and I think you should talk to Rose," Rey said gently.

She gripped his shoulder softly and walked away.

I'm well acquainted with villains that live in my head

They beg me to write them so they'll never die when I'm dead

And I've grown familiar with villains that live in my head

They beg me to write them so I'll never die when I'm dead

"I swear I think that last guy left without any teeth," Ben said jovially.

Ben and Hux had just left the mysterious building and Ben was on a high.

Ben felt euphoric.

The thrill of the crowd and the sound of each hit, still rung in his ears.

Ben felt alive.

Hux, the asshole, looked smug and cocky.

"So, what the hell was that?" Be asked, "And why on earth would you get a tattoo? You told me once, you thought they were tacky."

"Aww, you remembered." Hux teased, "I do think they're tacky, but not if they have a deeper meaning to it."

"And to answer your question, I got invited here a couple months ago. I'm not really allowed to say who brought me in, but let's just say these people are not ordinary people. Eventually, I either had to prove that I wouldn't rat anything out or stop coming here. The price is the tattoo. That's how they know your serious and trustworthy."

"It kinda sounds like a cult," Ben said staring at Hux's arm.

"I still have my own mind, and I'm not bound to anything, I simply made my own decisions and I know what I want," Hux said huffily, "Besides, it's human nature to act like animals. It made you feel better. Didn't it?" Hux said knowingly.

"When can we come back?" Ben said despite himself.

Hux smiled.

"Soon."

Ben was hooked. It wasn't like he was hurting anyone. He just wanted to see the hurt be done.

Maybe that still made him a horrible person.

But Ben was done caring.

I'm bigger than my body

I'm colder than this home

I'm meaner than my demons

I'm bigger than these bones

And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me"

I can't help this awful energy

God damn right, you should be scared of me

Who is in control?


Hope that some of you enjoyed this. I'm literally happy if anyone reads this at all lol.