Summary: Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.
A/N: I strongly recommend a good understanding of season 4 to follow this. I know season 4 kind of blew, but go with it.
Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.
I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.
12. I'm a Fly - Part I
He found her on the sofa. Faith had rushed to the creature on the floor, he'd rushed to the girl on his couch. Both found they were checking pulses. Faith found none, Giles found he had woken Buffy.
She screamed before relaxing into his touch. Relaxing into her surroundings. She looked between the girl and her Watcher and suddenly felt safe. They were home again.
"I fear to ask about the dead demon on my living room floor." He sighed as she released him.
"He came with a package." Buffy explained to him.
"Damn G, why can't you get things through UPS like everyone else?" Faith laughed, trying to cover her clear discomfort and failing.
"Actually it was for you." Buffy told her, holding out the small parcel wrapped in brown paper.
Faith took the gift, turned it over in her hands a couple of times before she threw it back to Buffy.
"Chuck it."
"Don't you want to know who its from?" she asked her as she subconsciously held it tight against her.
"Look around, B, it was delivered by a demon. Chances are I don't want it."
"Way to not answer the question." Buffy sighed, as she re-examined the parcel once more.
Giles looked between the two girls and sensed the tension growing. He made an excuse to leave muttering something about calling Xander or Spike but neither girl heard him. Faith had walked round to the sofa on which Buffy was still sat and taken her gift back, she dropped it into the waste paper basket besides the couch before folding her arms across her chest and staring down at the girl below her.
"Let me guess," she said eventually, "you have a couple of cameo appearances in my dreams and you thought you'd come over with a 'Welcome Home' banner and we'd be buds?"
There was no point in discussing the parcel, she knew who it was from, she might betray her better instincts and look inside it - but she prayed she wouldn't. Looking inside would only bring back the past. It wouldn't bring him back. Besides, she had Giles now. She didn't need him. She didn't need to need him.
"Do I hunt you every night?" Buffy asked by way of reply.
"No." Faith dropped down so she was sat on the coffee table opposite the blonde. "Some nights I dream about cigars and tunnels… and one time Portia de Rossi but that was just plain weird." She watched Buffy as she tried to place the name. "Ally McBeal."
"The lawyer show with all the short skirts?" Faith nodded.
Both girls sat in silence, all too aware that Giles had hidden himself away in his bathroom, neither wanting to make the first move.
"Is there really no way back for us?" Buffy asked her, leaning forward trying to catch her eye, trying to figure out what the other girl was thinking.
"Well given the only time we've ever kissed and made up we were under Red's mojo…" she trailed off as she stood and made her way to the window suddenly finding bird outside to be incredibly interesting.
Buffy joined and stood besides her, watching as a swift circled in the air but never landed, she wanted to reach out and touch Faith but thought better of it.
"That feeling…" Buffy shook her head unsure of how to phrase her thoughts, "that feeling of relief that came when we made up – mojo or not – that was real."
Faith simply walked past her and headed to the stairs. "You don't know me, so don't go all Psych 101, College Girl." She told her as she started the climb to her room.
Hello, Faith. If you're watching this tape, it can only mean one thing. I'm dead. And our noble campaign to bring order to the town of Sunnydale has failed, utterly and completely.
On the other hand - heck, maybe we won! And right now I'm on some jumbo monitor in the Richard Wilkins museum, surrounded by a bunch of kids sitting 'Indian style' and looking up at my face, filled with fear and wonder. Hi, kids!
But the realist in me tends to doubt it. Now Faith. As I record this message, you're… sleeping. And the doctors tell me you might never wake up. I don't believe that. Sooner or later, you'll find the world has gone and changed on you. I wish I could make the world a better place for you to wake up in. But tough as it is to accept, we both have to understand that even my power to protect and watch over you has its limits.
The hard pill to swallow here is: once I'm gone, your days are just plain numbered. Now, I know you're a smart and capable young woman in charge of her own life but the problem, Faith, is that there won't be a place in the world for you anymore. Right now, I bet you're feeling very much alone. But you're never alone. You'll always have me. And, you'll always have this.
She'd managed to pull the package out of the trash before Giles had reappeared. She had barely made it to the end of his street before she'd pulled off the brown paper and discovered a video tape and an envelope inside. She headed towards her mother's, whom she believed to be out of town, and the only VCR player she could think of.
She watched and realised all that she'd done to Faith and, far more importantly, all that she'd not done for her. She didn't know if it was the Mayor who had sought out Faith or if it was vice versa - and she didn't want to know - she didn't need to know. What she did know, what the video evidenced to her, was that the Mayor had been there for her. Perversely, Buffy had taken that all that away from her by defeating evil; by simply doing what she had been created to do.
Faith came to Sunnydale looking for help, looking for support, looking for a family. Buffy provided none and took it all away.
She examined the Mayor's gift as the tape rewound. If she was quick she could replace it all before anyone noticed its absence from the bin. She wrapped everything back up, finding some brown paper in one of her mother's drawers, and headed back to Giles'.
When she knocked on the door he simply held out his hand, she tried to look a mixture of innocent and confused but he simply shook his head at her in clear disappointment. She had to hand back Faith's parcel before he would step aside and let her in.
She was surprised to see everyone else, Riley included, congregated in his living room. Information about Adam he explained. She looked around the room and found Faith back by the window, she couldn't meet her eye.
"So what did Richard send me?" Faith asked her as Buffy passed her to find a seat. Buffy was too ashamed to answer.
She had intruded upon an intimate relationship and taken the only thing that had been just Faith's from her. Stolen it from Faith for her own gain. All because Buffy had to be right. She was alway's right - because if she wasn't right, she was wrong. Then where did that leave her.
Buffy hung her head as she slipped into the chair besides Riley.
Riley told the group what he knew and that he would go back into the Initiative. There were small protests, but it was eventually agreed that it was the only thing they could do. There was no other way to discover anything about Adam.
Buffy and Faith let the conversation wash over them. Faith hurt by Buffy's actions – especially as she'd come to her only hours before professing that they could be friends. Buffy wanting to know so desperately what was going through her head.
Faith was right, she didn't know her. She'd never known her. The closest Buffy had ever come to learning anything about Faith was when she'd been in chains in Angel's mansion. Faith had spoken about her life – she'd told in a way to say she was over it, it had been what it had been – but her actions showed that her childhood was anything but past to her.
But Buffy also wanted Faith to have a little insight into her own 'perfect' life. Show her what it was like to be the Chosen One. Especially now when she'd never felt so alone. To be in a room filled with people and be isolated from them all.
Given that neither of them would or could talk to each other Buffy saw no other way.
As the meeting was drawing to a close she took Faith's hand in her own. All of a sudden her position was changed and she spun to look at Faith sat next to Riley on the chair. She looked at Faith in her body.
Buffy simply winked at her and held her finger to her lip before tucking a couple of stray brown hairs behind her ear.
So, I seem to have suddenly fallen in love with cliff hangers! Read and review, Circus.
