Sean narrowed his eyes at Emma as he drove her home. "You shouldn't be drinking that in here."
Emma had brought the beer bottle she didn't finish from the bar. She drank the last bit of it, staring out the window and muttered from the passenger seat.
"I need it."
He snickered. Guess he could understand that...
He pulled into her parents' driveway a few minutes later and turned his head towards her. She was passed out now. Sleeping soundly.
He stared softly and torturously at her for a few minutes, before undoing his seat belt.
"Sean." Greeted Snake as he opened the front door for Sean. Sean stepped inside, carrying Emma who was knocked right out, even snoring a tiny bit as Sean carried her to her room.
"Snake." Sean greeted back, "Spike."
Spike had her house coat on, since it was so late. She sighed and looked at Snake, both shaking their heads and went back up to bed.
When Emma was laid softly back in her bed, she stirred and opened her eyes, getting comfy in the blankets that surrounded her. She saw Sean turning to go, but something caught his eye. She couldn't believe he brought her home and carried her to bed.
She had been so awful to him. Her insides were beginning to tear with guilt and sadness.
He walked to the bottle on Emma's old homework desk, and raised his hand to touch it. Emma's face twisted in confusion when he decided not to, stepping back from it with this odd look over his face. It was unreadable. Was it his?
"I'm sorry." she croaked out.
Sean turned, now noticing her up. She still looked a little out of it; tired and possibly still drunk, but staring up at him from her blankets and pillows.
He sat down slowly on her bed by her, and turned to look down at her. He shrugged sadly. "I'm sorry too..."
Emma let a tear drop from her eye. It made her eyes feel more heavy. She closed them, as Sean stared down at her. She still looked so beautiful.
"I am horrible. And I am selfish. And secretive.." Oh my god, Sean would just hate her so much more when he finds out about the miscarriage..
"You're not horrible." he whispered back, and she stared up at him in disbelief. He raised his hand, slowly, and slightly hesitantly.
Emma bit her lower lip, and his fingers soon caressed her hair. She closed her eyes and almost fell asleep right there. The exhaustion, tears and alcohol were consuming her.
"You're not horrible." he repeated in a whisper. "You're incredible."
Emma opened her eyes up at him. The hazel color of them struck Sean. He missed those eyes.
"I should of told you I was leaving the day I left. We should of talked about it."
"Emma.." he shook his head. It was too late for that now.
"A note wasn't enough." she snuffled.
Sean furrowed his eyebrows. What note?
She sat up, and his eyes stared back at hers as she tried to explain. "I just had to leave. I couldn't face you. I-I thought leaving the note with Tony would be best. It still didn't leave you much and you have the right to hate me but you need to know-"
"What note?"
"The letter." she rolled her eyes, too drunk to realise Sean never got it. "Now you need to know what I meant by that 'something important' thing that I mentioned in it. Sean, I was..."
Sean noticed her choking up. He, himself, was having trouble with this. "Emma. I never got a note. I never got a goodbye. I never, damn it, I never got over you! You're driving me crazy." they both laughed sadly but humorously.
"Things don't change." she joked but bit her lower lip.
He stared longingly at her. She looked so beautiful, even better than Darcy who had dressed up tonight and Emma didn't even try nor was on the date.. Poor Darcy had nothing on this girl.
No matter what, it was always Emma for Sean. The girl owned his heart since he was 13 years old. She wasn't handing it away to anyone else either and even if she did, Sean couldn't love anyone like he did her. Does.
"I love you." Sean confessed. "I still love you, Em."
She held her tears back, and just stared hopelessly at Sean, until she leaned in. Sean shut his eyes and he sighed when she kissed him. It came out of nowhere, and it was beautiful. Her lips against his were soft. His kissed back slowly, relishing in it. Painfully, he shut his eyes tighter, hoping this wouldn't end. She sat up more, raising on her knees and deepened the kiss. He put his hands on her hips, gripping them and kissed her back as he guided her into his lap and she straddled him.
She ran her hands through his hair, and he breathed heavily into their kiss as she kissed him just as hard and moaned.
He then stopped, and they were breathless. He pulled away and slowly helped her off. She was confused, as he avoided her eyes and she stood up, running a hand through her hair.
He stood up and it looked like he was going to leave. But he stopped by that bottle again.
"That bottle was mine." he nodded toward it and Emma looked confused. "When you left, every day I came here, wondering what I did to cause you to run from me. And I'd drink that."
Emma held her tears back.
He continued, "I drank, all the time. Jay had to pick me off this fucking floor for how loaded I got. I went to work sometimes still drunk. I went to bars, parties..anything to get you off my mind."
"Sean.." she didn't know what to say.
He turned back towards her and then gazed down at her feet. He couldn't look her in those beautiful eyes.
"I've been sober for two years." he promised. She swallowed hard and nodded. "It's not like I blame you for my drinking, I was drinking long before that but when you left, it got worse and it got more daily. I can't go through that again.."
Emma let the tears run down as Sean walked away, and up the stairs. He closed the door and Emma fell down on her bed, sobbing.
((((((*******))))))))))
Without much sleep, Emma stared numbly down at her cellphone the next morning until Spike came down. She slowly looked up and Spike paused before taking the last step down into her room.
"Oh Emma. You don't look so good, are you sick?"
Emma snuffled, and whipped her teary eyes. She cried almost all night long, how could she still be crying?
Spike sat on the side of the bed with her. "What happened?"
Emma's voice cracked when she tried to explain, "I-I don't know. I thought I came here for a divorce, but seeing Sean again.. I don't know what I want anymore! Kelly is a good guy, I should be with him right? Sean makes things so tough, and I know I don't make them any easier but he makes me feel so unsure yet I still feel like I'd pick him over anybody. What is wrong with me? Why can't I stop loving him? I-It's so hard, Mom!" she dove into her moms embrace.
"Well baby, he always had that effect on you." Spike said with a sad chuckle.
Emma closed her eyes to the warmth of her moms embrace. "I just want to get over him."
"Why?"
Emma opened her eyes and pulled away, confused. "What?"
Spike phrased it better, "Why do you want to get over him? What did he do , Emma?"
Emma wanted to tell her, but she couldn't. But she should. And at that thought, she just blurted it out. "I was pregnant before I left, Mom. Sean was seeing Ellie though behind my back. I felt so hurt, so broken, and so I ran away and I guess it was too much stress and I lost our. .baby."
Spike brought her hand towards her mouth, "Oh Emma." they hugged again. Spike caressed her hair and soothed her back. "Oh, dear.."
((((***)))))
Emma felt as though she had to make things right. After talking to Spike, she knew where to go next.
"Not today, Nelson." Jay said, blocking the doorway.
"Jay, please. What happened last night, wasn't okay. I know that. I don't know what's wrong with me..."
Jay eyed her up and down, even noticing the agony in Emma's eyes as she spoke. He frowned though, protective of Manny. "You used my wife to keep secrets from even me-"
"Jay." sighed Manny, now coming from behind and opening the door. "Just let her in."
Jay crossed his arms but stayed between them.
Emma looked between them, mouth open wide, a little speechless and feeling, well, awful. "Manny, I'm sorry. Jay, I'm sorry too."
They shared a look and gazed back at Emma.
"C-can I come in?" the blonde nervously asked, gazing behind her. "I don't want to say what I have to say in the middle of a hallway for other people to hear.. It's, kinda private."
Manny opened the door for her.
"Thanks." Emma mumbled, closing it behind her. She played with her hands- it was a nervous habit.
"Jay." she confessed, "The secret Manny kept from you was that I was pregnant. It really wasn't her right to..say. I guess. And I wasn't going to tell anybody, especially since I miscarried it. I should of told people though, that's my fault. I'm sorry."
His mouth dropped, staring at Emma and tried to pick his mouth up, "Um. Does.. uh.." he shook his head out of it. "Wow. Did Sean know?"
"No."
Jay went to yell at her and she lifted her hands defensively.
"I had already moved away when I found out, Jay! I was going to tell him but what was the point anymore? It was gone! We were over."
"You know this just makes me hate you more," he growled, "You ran away with Sean's kid in you?"
"He cheated on me!"
Both Manny and Jay stared back at her. Emma had confusion, anger and sadness washed over her face.
Jay couldn't believe it. "You're 110% sure about that?"
"I saw him sneak out at night, Jay." Emma snapped at him, "Which he'd lie about in the morning, pretending to be in bed with me the whole night when I woke up. I followed him to a bar one night, and guess where it led me to? The bar Ellie worked at. And she was with him."
"He had a drinking problem, Emma!" Jay shouted, "It's not what you think. It's not my place to say, but the army fucked him up" he gazed at her like she was poison. "You fucked him up worse though. The drinking only got worse when you left."
Emma shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment. "No." she opened them, and looked around confused. "He.. he cheated on me. With her."
"You're not so sure anymore..are you?" Manny asked quietly.
Emma turned, and fled to the door. "I gotta go." she yanked the door open.
"Wait." Jay said, going to follow but she ran out. Manny grabbed his arm and held him back.
"Maybe we should go to Sean.." Manny drifted.
Jay itched the back of his head, a bewildered look in his face. "He didn't, right? Come on, Manny. This is Sean. He didn't cheat. He loved her. He was probably at that bar getting smashed! We know he probably was."
"I don't know." Manny admitted, "I want to say no, but why did he go there? Why her bar?"
Jay was clueless too, and put his hands on his waist with an unreadable look in his eyes. "I don't know."
(((((((*))))))
Meanwhile, at Sean's garage, Lucas was doing orders at the front desk while Tony came in. He came on his usual day, usual time of visit.
"Hey buddy." Tony greeted.
Lucas looked up and greeted over the loud workers and drilling. "Hey ol' man. Sean's not here yet."
"Oh I'll wait then." Tony joked, "I'll wait in his big boy office."
Lucas nodded and looked back down to the chart in his hands. A few moments later, he looked back up to see Sean storming inside. He didn't look so good, or happy, nor like he got any sleep last night.
Author Note: DUN, DUN, DUUUNNN! Sean's going to find Tony in his office, right after finding out he didn't give him Emma's note. What will come next? Leave a review and you'll find out, hehe. Also, does anyone want Kelly to come make an appearance?
