Chapter Twelve

Jane took the half chewed toy and chucked it across the yard watching Jo happily chase after it. She was suddenly amazed at how such little things seemed to keep Jo happy. Just someone throwing a toy she could chase down and bring back only to do it again. That's all she seemed to need to be happy. Jane was marginally jealous.

She heard the now all too familiar sound of Bass finally joining in the festivities. He had taken his sweet time coming out to join them on the deck that morning. Jane thought for a while he was going to skip that mornings play session.

"I'd throw something for you to go after too if I thought you'd at all enjoy it," she said to him as he finally made his way to her side. She pushed over a bowl that contained a few strawberries and as a special treat some mustard greens. "I'm sorry you are stuck up here on the deck. Maybe in a week or two I'll be able to help you down the steps and you can play in the yard. I know you like to dig and I won't even tell Mom about it."

Jane watched to see if Bass gave any sort of reaction. Sometimes she could swear he nodded his head at some of her questions or comments. But she couldn't really tell anything. Jo had brought her toy back for Jane to throw again and Jane complied.

Jane sat and watched Jo bounce around the yard with the toy. Her mind drifted back to the dream that woke her up that morning. Again, she turned to Bass. "What do you think big guy? Could you get used to me just being home all day long?" Again, no answer but it least it wasn't a no.

Jane really was conflicted. Waking up in the hospital and seeing Maura and the Mothers all sleeping in her room, knowing what she continually put all of them through with each injury and the awful realization that her mother witnessed first hand the shooting put Jane at a crossroad. It wasn't the first time she had found herself there. But it was the first time she didn't know what she really wanted to do next. She had never been this uncertain about anything in her life.

The dangers of the job had always loomed. She had accepted them a long time ago and she knew that others in her life had come to accept them as well. They may not like them but they did accept them. She did everything she could each day to make sure she didn't take unnecessary risks and that had always been enough for the people who loved her. Maura, her mother, her brothers, even Constance were all supportive of Jane's career even with the added worry it brought them.

Thinking about that Jane couldn't help but remember a conversation she had with Constance after she and Maura had announced that they were dating. Constance had flown into Boston to see Maura and requested a dinner with Jane to talk. Just Jane. Jane had no idea what to expect but agreed and it had made a world of difference in their relationship.

Once the waiter had taken their orders, Constance got straight to the point. "Are you in love with my daughter?" she asked.

Jane probably should have been prepared for the Isles' bluntness given all the years she had known Maura but the question still caught her off guard. "I love Maura very much," she said with conviction.

"I don't doubt that," Constance replied. "It's quite obvious that the two of you love each other. That's not what I'm asking you. What I asked was whether or not you are in love with Maura. There is a difference."

Jane cleared her throat, understanding. "Yes. I am in love with your daughter. To be frank with you, I have been for quite some time. I just," she paused not sure if she should finish her answer.

"Just what?" Constance asked.

"I just never thought I was good enough to have Maura in that way. I always knew I overachieved with just having her in my life as my best friend. More just didn't seem possible." It was a brutally honest answer from Jane. She always felt Maura could do better than her but the woman seemed to love her anyway.

Constance was surprised at Jane's candor. But she was even more surprised at Jane's misguided beliefs. "Seriously Jane," Constance said. "I never took you for being stupid." A flash of anger crossed Jane's face but it left as quickly as it came. Constance continued speaking before Jane could reply. "Why would you ever devalue what you've brought into Maura's life?"

"I…." but again Jane paused.

"You saw who she really is. I think from the moment you met if I'm to believe Maura's side of the story. You saw her Jane. No one else in her life as ever done that. Including her father and I. But you did. And you brought that out of her for everyone else to see. Because of that, there are people in her life who love, care and support her where there had been no one before. You have to realize what you've done for her," Constance said staring intently at Jane.

It was Jane's turn to be surprised by Constance's candor. "As far as I was ever concerned, she was easy to see."

"She wasn't Jane. Not until you," Constance answered.

"She's an incredible woman," Jane state unequivocally.

"And from everything I have been able to ascertain so are you," Constance added without hesitation.

"I can't speak to that," Jane offered up in modesty. Wanting to shift the subject to something else, anything else, Jane threw out a blunt question to Constance. "So, are you ok with the idea of Maura and I being together?"

For the first time since they had started their conversation, Constance dropped her eyes from Jane. That immediately made Jane nervous. She didn't want to come between Maura and her mother and if Constance didn't approve she felt that was exactly what would end up happening.

Constance noticed the shift in Jane's demeanor and realized why. "Jane, hear me out," she started carefully.

"Alright," Jane said hesitantly.

"I have absolutely no issues with Maura having a relationship with a woman. She's an adult and has the right to choose whatever feels right or natural for her without worry about what others think. So do you I might add. And it's not that I 'disapprove' of the two of you together. She loves you. And is very much in love with you. I realize you feel the same. On one hand that is all I have ever wanted for her. Someone who loves her unconditionally who she loves in return."

"And on the other hand?" Jane couldn't help ask now not sure what Constance's objection could be.

"On the other hand, you have a dangerous job, a history of terrible injuries and I must admit that I worry that you will do the one thing I would never be able to forgive you for," Constance fired back.

"Which is?" Jane wanted to know.

"Leave her all alone," came Constance's blunt answer.

"I love her," Jane responded immediately. "I would never leave her…." and then she paused and it hit her. She quickly caught on to what Constance was saying. "You don't mean leave leave. You mean die," Jane said softly.

Constance nodded her head. "You've already had a few close calls Jane. I may not have been the best mother for her in her life but as a mother I'm worried that your luck will run out one day and you would leave her all alone. I'm not sure she would survive that and I would blame you for it even though I know that's not fair."

Jane took a minute to respond. "Constance, you have every right to feel the way that you do. Simply because you are right. I have a dangerous job. And yes, one day, my luck might run out. I can't deny that. Nor could I ever promise that it won't happen. But," she said pausing to gauge Constance reaction. "Maura can't promise me that she won't get sick. Or get into an accident. Or be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nor could you promise that to her either. There are no guarantees in this life. None. And while I will never deny that the odds of something happening to me are greater because of what I chose to do, I refuse to let fear dictate my choices.

"If I let fear start playing a part of my decision making, I may have a longer lifespan but it would not be the life I would want and that would be unacceptable to me. I wouldn't have the things in my life I have now. The things I hold closest to my heart. The things that define who I am. Your daughter is one of those things. The biggest thing. If I let fear win out, I'd never know your daughter's love and, well, I just won't stand for that. All I can tell you is this. I love her. I will do everything I can to come home to her each and every day. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and while I hope that means many years regardless of the duration she will be cherished, loved and protected until my last breath."

Constance didn't stop the smile that spread across her face. Looking at Jane she could think of only one response. "Then I will pray you have a long life. For both your sakes."

Jane looked out across the yard at a still jovial Jo who seemed content chasing after a butterfly that had floated into the backyard. She then turned her gaze to Bass who was still keeping her company up on the deck. She took in a deep breath and stood up. The memory seemed to be exactly what she needed in that moment. Leaving the kids still outside, Jane walked into the house and went straight for the file.

13-01876 Gina Franklin

R&I

Jane spent an hour reviewing the case file Frost had left her. The file contained everything Frost and Korsak had managed to gather on Gina Franklin's crime scene. There was a copy of the autopsy, the ballistics report from the bullet retrieved, all the crime scene photos, all of the analysis of the forensic evidence and all the initial queries into her background. There was a copy of her guardianship orders for Eric. Several social worker site reports from the first year Gina had been made Eric's guardian.

The file also contained preliminary information on Kevin Lansing. Copies of his autopsy results and ballistics from his bullet retrieved. A copy of all the statements about what happened in the lobby. There was a copy of the ballistics from the gun recovered from his apartment that tied him to Gina's murder. All the initial queries into his background, financials and work history. Frost added a social media review as well.

While the file had basically everything, it told Jane absolutely nothing. Or at least nothing she didn't already know. And it explained absolutely nothing. There was no motive for why, if Kevin Lansing was the murderer, he killed Gina. Nothing on what he stood to gain. There was no indication of any issues within Kevin and Gina's relationship. There was no inkling as to motive.

Outside of the recovery of the murder weapon from under his mattress, there was nothing to suggest Kevin Lansing was capable of cold blooded murder. He had no priors of any kind. He was gainfully employed and generally well liked. He didn't seem to have any history of anger management issues, alcoholism, drug issues, gambling problems. In fact, there was nothing, outside of the gun, that suggested Kevin Lansing was anything other than an upstanding Boston citizen.

Jane understood why Frost had an issue with closing out the file. The gun was the only connection they could find between Lansing and Franklin's death and as Jane reviewed the information the guys had uncovered she, too, agreed that it felt wrong. Too easy. Too convenient. Something was wrong.

And as she poured through the file looking at all the photos and reports she realized there was something missing. There was nothing in any of the reports that even hinted at anyone that could be labeled 'they'. Lansing had used that term. So had Eric. And both had used it in such a manner that suggested outside players that could have had an impact on Gina Franklin's life. Hurt her if Eric was to be believed.

But there was nothing. Or at least nothing Jane could immediately put her finger on. Jane had spread out all of the information from the file on the floor in the family room. She sat back and tried to take everything that was in front of her in. As she ran her eyes over all of the materials she had to admit the list of what she didn't know was definitely longer than the list of what she did know.

Looking at the time she knew she needed to start getting dinner ready. She pieced the file back together and once assembled she let the cover close. Mentally, she went over the list of things she didn't know. It was a manageable list and one she knew where she needed to go if she wanted to start to get some answers. As she headed for the kitchen to see about dinner the biggest question she had was whether she was going to try to find those answers.

R&I

Maura was greeted first by Bass as she arrived home that evening. While she was sure it was more luck than by design, she couldn't help the smile that came across her face when she opened the door and Bass was standing right in front of her. She bent down and greeted the tortoise and rubbed his shell for a few moments. As she was doing that she heard Jo's scampering paws coming closer and closer.

As soon as she looked up Jo was practically in her face. She smiled again and gave a generous greeting to the overly excited dog. She knew it was somewhat unconventional but as far as she was concerned there was nothing better than getting to say hello to her tortoise and her dog.

"Maura?" Jane called out from the kitchen.

On second thought, Maura found that she could think of one thing that was just a tad bit better than being greeted by her kids. She stood up to go say hello to that one thing. She made her way into the kitchen and carefully hugged herself into Jane's good side.

"Hi," she said after a moment of peaceful silence snuggled into Jane.

"Hi," Jane answered back as she gently kissed Maura's forehead.

When Maura stepped back from her Jane was able to turn and get a better look at Maura. She didn't like what she saw. Maura still had signs of darkened circles under her eyes and she looked both tired and worried. Jane pulled her back into her and held her for a few moments.

"What's wrong?" she asked with concern.

"Let me change and we can talk when I come back downstairs," Maura answered.

Jane nodded. It was pretty routine for Maura to change into 'comfy clothes' once she got home from work. For the first few months after they moved in together she had resisted acquiring Jane's habit of changing into just a t-shirt and sweats but finally gave in and had to now admit she was much more comfortable at night than when she would just wait and change into pajamas before bed.

"You have some time. Dinner won't be ready for about 15 more minutes," Jane said and gave Maura a chaste kiss before Maura headed up the stairs. Jane was sure Maura would talk with her when she came down.

And she did.

"So talk to me," Jane said as she was finishing setting the table after Maura re-entered the kitchen.

Maura let her mind drift to the nightmare she had that morning and after a few seconds she looked at Jane. "I think I need to talk to my mother before the trial starts," she said.

Jane had been advocating this for several months. This was the first time Maura had ever been receptive to the idea let alone bringing up first. "What made you change your mind?" she asked quietly. When Maura didn't answer right away Jane took a guess. "Another nightmare?"

Maura looked at Jane and wondered how she always managed to do that. She nodded quietly. "It's all going to come out Jane. As much as I keep just wishing it wouldn't. It will. It's not fair to them not to hear it from me first." There wasn't going to be anyway Maura's parents weren't going to follow the RICO trial.

Jane had tried to tell Maura that months ago. She had offered to be with Maura when she talked with her parents. At one point, she had even offered to explain everything to her parents herself so Maura wouldn't have to. So Jane was in complete agreement with Maura's assessment.

"Tell me about the dream," she encouraged Maura. Jane had always found that Maura did better after talking about her nightmares. Jane was the opposite always finding it better not to get into the details of hers.

Maura sighed and walked Jane through what that morning's nightmare had been about. Patrick taking over as the questioning attorney. The line fo questioning he tried. The final question he asked. She told Jane everything.

Jane's heart broke for Maura. She was so nervous about her upcoming testimony that her mind was being brutally cruel to her. "Oh Maura," Jane said pulling Maura into the not quite good enough side hug once again. "I'm so sorry."

Maura put her arms around Jane's waist and found shelter in the hug. Half hug or not this was where she really wanted to be. "It's not your fault," she told Jane.

"And, like I've tried to tell you forever, it's not your fault either," Jane replied sternly. Looking at Maura she continued. "Maura, honey, you were not responsible for Tommy O'Rourke. Doyle killed him. Doyle. Not you."

Maura went to say something but Jane cut her off.

"No, don't tell me that Doyle did it for you. Or because of you. You need to hear me when I say this. Doyle killed O'Rourke because he is a killer. That's who he is Maura. Did you benefit from O'Rourke's death? Probably. But we may never know that for sure. We sealed that photo of you we pulled off O'Rourke. No one knows about that outside of Barry, Vince and Sean. As far as we know, the other families walked away believing Doyle killed O'Rourke for the reason closest to the truth. O'Rourke killed Colin. Doyle's own son.

"O'Rourke's death was a revenge killing Maura. It wasn't some altruistic gesture by Doyle for your sake. It served his own agenda and his own criminal enterprise. You had nothing to do with O'Rourke's death. We didn't tell Doyle anything. We didn't give him any information. He found out on his own what our investigation was showing and he did what he has done his entire life. He struck out and used that ice pick to do so."

Jane and Maura had discussed this concern several times. Jane managed to reach Maura's more logical side more often than not but at times Maura's emotional side seemed to get in the way. Jane hoped tonight wasn't one of those nights.

"Thank you," came from Maura finally after a few minutes of silence. Jane always had a way to getting Maura to see the O'Rourke situation differently from where her guilt ridden mind would take her.

"I'll tell you each and every day the same thing if it will help you," Jane offered. She hated seeing what all this gulit and self doubt was doing to the woman she loved. "We will get through all of this together."

"You may need to remind me of that over the next few days," Maura admitted.

"Daily, hourly, minutely, secondly. Whenever you need to hear it, M. I'm here. I'll be here through the entire trial. None of what is occurring in those nightmares of yours is what's going to happen," Jane said as reassuringly as she could.

"And my parents?" Maura asked.

"I think they need to hear it all from you. Not from the nightly news. And I will still tell them if that would be easier for you," she offered again.

"No," Maura acknowledged. "It needs to come from me."

"I will go with you when you tell them," Jane replied trying to support Maura in any way she could.

Maura nodded and let things settle in her mind. She really did need to speak with her parents. She would figure out the details later. She turned to Jane and smiled, "Alright, enough of this for now. Let's eat."

R&I

They were just finishing dinner when Jane broached the subject of the case file with Maura. Maura had started to do the cleanup while Jane took Jo for her nightly walk. Once Jane returned, she grabbed the file and headed into the kitchen to speak with Maura. Entering the kitchen Jane sat down at the island and placed the file down in front of her waiting to get Maura's attention.

"I take it you looked at it," Maura said not turning around.

Jane slightly shook her head and wondered how exactly Maura did that. "This afternoon," Jane admitted.

"And?" she asked still finishing the last few cleanup tasks.

"And I agree with Frost. Something just doesn't seem right here," she answered. She almost told Maura her gut was screaming that something was off but she knew Maura always got annoyed with her when she tried to claim her instincts were tied to any of her body parts.

"So," Maura said finally turning around to give Jane her undivided attention, "what do you want to do about that?"

"I'm not sure," Jane admitted.

"Do you have a theory?" Maura asked out of curiosity.

"No," Jane said. "There's not enough here for the development of a theory. By the time I got done going over this file I had more questions than answers."

"You could," Maura suggested, "let Barry and Vince know what your questions are. Let them run down the answers."

"I could," Jane agreed.

"But," Maura pushed.

"Cavanaugh is going to close this case. Once that happens they won't be able to follow-up on any questions without getting into trouble or doing it on their free time." Jane did not want either of her partners getting into trouble and both Jane and Maura understood that with the nature of life as a homicide detective, neither man had much 'free time' to be spending chasing after a theory.

"Jane," Maura said looking at Jane, "you are on a medical leave. You're not supposed to be doing anything police related unless it is your rehab. You could get in more trouble than either Barry or Vince."

Jane wasn't even surprised that Maura seemed to know what Jane was considering. The woman knew her better than she knew herself sometimes. "That's also true," Jane admitted. And it was. If she got caught working while on a leave she would be in serious trouble.

"What do you want to do?" Maura asked.

Jane was quiet for a minute. Her mind flashed again onto the dream she had that morning and again she heard her voice coming out of Eric Franklin's mouth. "I promised him," Jane said softly.

Maura nodded sympathetically. She understood the value Jane placed on her promises. "What is it that you want to do Jane?" she asked a second time. "Tell me."

"I want to try to get some answers," Jane admitted.

Maura was quiet for a moment. Then, she reached over placed her hand over Jane's. "Promise me two things," she said.

"Ok?" Jane asked.

Maura only wanted two things from Jane. "Don't get caught and if there is any sign of danger you will call in Barry and Vince."

"That's it?" Jane asked.

"That's it," Maura answered. And for the moment, it really was.

Jane stood up and walked over to Maura. She leaned in and whispered into Maura's ear, "I promise." After that, she sealed her promise with a kiss. It started out tender. Gentle. But it quickly turned heated and full of want for them both.

Jane was the first to pull away but it wasn't to stop. "Bedroom," she again whispered into Maura's ear.

Both the request and Jane's breath on her neck made Maura shiver. Somewhere within herself Maura knew she probably shouldn't given Jane's injury. But that somewhere didn't seem strong enough to stop her from taking Jane's hand and heading towards the bedroom.

Once in the bedroom, Jane stepped into Maura and gently pressed her lips against the ME's. There was no other feeling on Earth that screamed 'home' to Jane than when her lips came into contact with Maura's. She felt it the very first time they kissed and she continued to feel it each and every time after that magical first moment.

The kiss grew in intensity as both tongues did battle for control. The need between the two was palpable and Jane pushed to keep the kiss going until she felt the burning in her chest from the need for oxygen. She leaned her forehead against Maura's trying to catch her breath.

"I love you," she said looking into the most gorgeous hazel eyes she would ever know.

Maura, as breathless as Jane, gently nodded. "I love you too."

Jane caught enough breath to go in for another kiss. This one driven by want as much as it was by need. She started to maneuver Maura towards the bed quickly discovering Maura wasn't putting up a fight. They stopped only when the back of Maura's legs ran into their bed. Normally Jane would have just continued until they were both laying in bed but with her shoulder she seemed to understand that the logistics of what she wanted needed to be thought about.

Maura sensed what Jane was thinking about. Breaking the kiss she spoke. "Jane maybe we shouldn't." The doctor in her finally came out.

"Oh, yes we should," Jane shot back capturing Maura's lips again.

After another searing kiss Maura tried again to put on the brakes. "Jane," she said, "your shoulder. We shouldn't."

Jane again rested her forehead against Maura's for a moment. "I want you," she said in a desirous tone that weakened both Maura's resolve and her knees.

"But," Maura feebly tried.

"But nothing," Jane said and this time she gently pushed Maura down onto the bed. "You're a doctor and a certified genius Maura. Don't tell me between the two of us we can't figure out a way to make this happen." She teased just the way she knew would hook Maura.

"I can think of a few things that should work," Maura admitted with a sly grin.

Jane reached down and grabbed the front of Maura's t-shirt bunching up as much as she could in her hand before effectively pulling it up and over Maura's head. It was actually quite a smooth move.

"Nice," Maura said in appreciation. Any further thoughts of trying to stop what was about to happen left Maura's mind.

Jane smiled and moved to straddle herself over Maura's hips. "You ain't seen nothing yet," she whispered. "Let me show you what I can do with one good arm and pure determination. I want you," she breathed. "I need you."

As Jane hovered over Maura they both knew in that moment that between the two of them they would absolutely figure out a way to be together that night.