Jim sat in a cell with white walls. He was thankful Spock melded with him because he could only take so much of being paranoid. He moved several times, his gaze kept going to the camera's watching him and every time a guard came or passed he grew tense and flinched. He told himself to calm down, to take deep breathes.

Running his fingers over his crescent marks calmed him the most. His skin still felt tight and itchy from the lasers of getting them back. Jenna, he was sure made it more painful than it had to be. He liked them, he hadn't known how much he missed them until he saw himself naked in Sana Kor's San Francisco's lab. He looked so much like... himself. He knew the others were horrified and even concerned but he finally felt good in his own skin.

As it was, the only pain he was in now was due to the two largest wounds he had. Hailian's sword had run him through but Jiva's had got him right under his lung, between his ribs. Both, while being healed mostly, were going to need a few more days to stop being completely sore, the skin tissue wasn't healed just yet, either. His other wounds, scratches, bruises and cuts didn't bother him hardly any. In a way, he had missed this and he proved it by showing everyone Sorren Hart.

Jim closed his eyes and let his head fall back to the wall only to open them quickly after hearing Sivath's voice in his mind. He was not on Tarsus. He was okay. He wasn't back on Reklor.

He had signed the treaty at least, in five years he'd send young Avan down as an ambassador, in seven they'd erect an embassy here. In twelve, he'd be okay with letting Reklor build their own fleet. He had it all planned out. Over the last couple of years, he had given a lot of thought to what he wished for Reklor. He even had it in his will, to be given to the next king just for some advice. It would have been nice to have some when he stepped into the position. But soon, Adalyn would make her move and with his help, he'd be demoted.

General Sorren Hart.

Jim couldn't wait for the announcement but he knew it would take awhile, defeating seventeen Reklans was going to cement Adalyn's position but it also made them admire him even more. It was the main reason he got her to sign as well, and the only reason he bowed before her. An act in which shocked everyone, an Emperor never bowed, to anyone.

Eighteen months.

He just had to tell the Admiralty that his future wasn't about being an Emperor. Though, if Reklor did go to war, somehow overriding his power, he would have to lead them.

Conflict of interest.

Fuck.

Jim looked up as guard number one came forward. He jumped as the man said, "Let's go Mr. Kirk. Your lawyer is waiting and your trial is about to begin."

Jim nodded, stood and held out his hands for his cuffs, hiding his tension. It was the hardest thing to do, he hated being bound. Clenching his jaw, he squeezed his palms and made sure he retained eye contact on his cuffs. They were thin, not at all slave shackles.

He kept repeating that to himself as they started walking.


"We are gathered to here to witness the trial of Captain James Tiberius Kirk. You have been charged with dishonest conduct and information, bribing and withholding personal information in order to gain access and a position inside the Star Fleet. How do you plead?"

Everyone was quiet, though it was a semi-closed trial (unfortunately everyone important was invited), Spock and his crew were there. Jenna was there, looking murderous at everyone and actually compassionate towards him. His lawyer, Adam Wright was said to be the best in this side of the galaxy. He had better been for Jenna to stand beside him. Young, dark-haired and handsome, he had one of the highest paid firms in the whole galaxy.

Adam looked at him and Jim nodded.

"My client pleads not guilty. Instead, we believe these charges should be dismissed." Barrett, trying to hid his own astonishment at their boldness, turned serious and said, "Under what claim?"

Adam waved his arms out and said, "No evidence to my client being deceiving towards Star Fleet."

Jim held back a smile and realized he liked Adam. The man was completely insane.

The Admiralty looked shocked at such a claim. Barrett sat forward in his chair as he said, "James Kirk is the Emperor to Reklor, Mr. Wright. He did not say he had any connection to any species when he enrolled." Adam nodded and held up his thumb, showing the cut he made when he swore to secrecy, as per Sorren's court customs. "Oh, yes, that's not up for debate. What is, Admirals, is the fact that had James told you of his connection, you would not have let him enter." Everyone was stupefied and Jim bit his lip.

Archer now spoke, "I don't think you're quite understanding Mr. Wright-"

"Oh, no. I am. I understand that James Kirk, son of Captain George Kirk, applied to Star Fleet at the age of twenty-two. I understand that he passed your tests with flying colours. I have copies here," Adam picked up the PADD on his desk, continuing, "He passed your tests with only two other people ever coming ahead of him. One being in this room, a Commander Spock. The other being long since deceased as they applied in the last century."

Jim managed to glance behind him to see Spock both shocked and focused.

"Now, had Jim told you of his connection, how far would you have pressed him. Connected to Reklor? Yes. Connection in marriage, in blood? How would his loyalties test, what would his traditions be, his cultural influence? James Kirk was born in space, he was raised here on Terra. He travelled to different worlds and met and became honour bound to Reklans people.

"All of those things are true, Admirals. What is also true is that you allowed him to join, that in the next six years, roughly, James went on to save Terra, twice, he has helped in the rebuilding of New Vulcan and her peoples. He has not once used his position against Star Fleet or any other Federation planet. He hasn't even been on Reklan soil in years. Therefore, under these very well known facts, I know my client, the man in which many of owe your lives to, is not a threat to security. That is what this trial is really about. Security and safety, non of which James is a threat to. I plead that you dismiss these charges and reinstate James Kirk as Captain aboard his ship."

A few chuckles sounded from the crowd.

The Admirals all paused and stared hard at the two of them. Jim swallowed and Tanner spoke up, "Thank you for your statement Mr. Wright. On your statement that there is no evidence, however, you should know the court is to hear from Kate Nandry."

Aw Fuck , Jim thought.

Kate walked into the small court room and stood a little away from Jim. She held up her head and the questions started.

Are you Miss Kate Nandry? Yes.

Did you take James' Kirk's testing? Yes.

What we're his results?

Kate took a deep breath and said, "James Kirk's brain activity increased when we asked him specific questions about having bias towards races." Everyone stilled and Jim felt his dread kick up a notch.

"From our monitoring, we managed to pick up fear, anger and certain abnormalities."

"Abnormalities?" Barrett asked, frowning.

She nodded saying hesitantly, "His mind, under certain monitors doesn't look entirely like most humans. Certain lobes are either larger or smaller but I can't be specific, it's been awhile since I last saw the scans." Archer nodded and asked, "Why is that? You were the one who sent us the documents."

Nandry drew into herself and said, "What I sent you is what we now have on file. As you can see, it shows no differences to a normal monitoring scan."

"What happened to the original?" Brooks asked, his gaze going from the doctor back to him.

Jim bit his cheek and made sure to look just as confused as everyone else. He was pretty sure it didn't matter any longer.

"I do not know. When I went to access it the day after, this is what came up."

"Why would you allow someone entry into Star Fleet when you knew their was something off in his or her scan?"

Kate looked troubled but she spoke calmly, "I received a message during our interview, right when I started noticing Mr. Kirk's activity, it..." She paused and then said, "It revealed a picture of my sister and said that my smuggling in of Tenrit root would be revealed to all of you, as well as the police. I have already been charged on the matter and have served eighteen months. I no longer have to hide it."

She turned to Jim and said, "My sister had Lannect's Syndrome. She died three years ago."

Damn. Jim hadn't know that was her ailment. He winced.

"Miss. Nandry," Adam spoke calmly and cunningly, "Tenrit root, it's highly sporous, isn't it? That's why it's banned from Terra. While it's great for a pain reliever, it can affect many people at once, making it inefficient and dangerous. It is also an extremely strong cause of well known psychological issues. Can it be that a one time or another, throughout your treatment of your sister, you caught some of it?"

Kate shook her head, "No, I was always careful. I had it transferred in medically safe containers..."

"Yet, not, impossible, is it? A mix up, a spill, even a small teaspoon of the root powder can cause massive problems throughout thirty feet around you or your sister."

Oh, Jim loved Adam, his voice held just enough doubt.

Kate frowned and still shook her head, though slower.

Adam turned to the Admiralty and said, "We know now that James is Sorren Hart, but what Miss. Landry here states cannot be taken directly into reality. During the time she held countless interviews, she could have been slightly hallucinating due the strength of the illegal drug she brought into the country. It would have been enough to cause some confusion over the tests."

The Admirals sat back, clearly upset and disappointed. Jim hid his smile behind his still cuffed hands and tried not to fidget anymore. It was pointless, he couldn't keep still. The cuffs felt as if they were burning through his wrists and his heart rate wouldn't slow down.

"What about the other two?" Adam asked the court, "There are always three monitors are there not?"

Kate winced and replied, "Kell resigned two weeks after the interviewing. And Morgan moved to London within the month as she married her husband there." Huh, she actually married him, he definitely saw that relationship not working out. People surprise you, though.

"You are dismissed Miss. Nandry." The Admiralty turned back to him and said, "James Kirk, please give us your access Padd codes for us."

Jim tensed, and asked, "Reasoning?"

"It is our belief that you have illegally obtained highly classified documents out of your level. It is also our belief that this is where we might be able to find anything original." Jim protested but Adam looked over at him and shook his head. Taking a deep breath, Jim called out his four numbered code, since part of his PADD was voice recognition only, the Admiral's had no choice but to get him to open it. He saw Spock frown at him but it opened with a beep, showing all his files and grudgingly Adman passed it to Barrett.

"We will spend the evening processing this as evidence. Tomorrow, we will gather here at oh-eight hundred hours. Your verdict will be read then."

Jim winced as he stood and his wounds protested. His crew tried to talk to him and other high ranking authorities were there, Star Fleet higher-ups from all around Terra, Captains and Commanders. Jim even spotted Terra's President in the crowd.

Great.

Jim was ushered back to his cell in the lower levels of the building and he collasped on the cot. He did not in any way feel well. His head was aching and his stomach turned. Jim didn't know how much time passed before he heard the force field come down. It couldn't have been dinner time already.

Jim opened his eyes to see Spock coming towards him.

"Jim, you are shaking." The Vulcan had a heavy and soft blanket, where he got it, Jim had no idea but it was warm. "I'm...I...cold." Spock looked worried and said, "I will get a doctor-" Jim reached out and got hold of Spock. "No, don't leave." Spock knelt beside him, in his view and said, "Jim, never. I wished to talk to you today. This trial cannot proceed with no actual evidence. Mr. Wright was correct in saying that you had no gain as a leader to join as well as had never intended to harm Star Fleet with your position. I have already told them of my own opinions on the matter. I will do so again tomorrow morning in front of everyone. We will get you out of here." Jim smiled and tried not to wince as his head pounded, only it wasn't like he was used to.

"Spock, don't do anything you'll regret." Spock trailed his hand through Jim's hair softly, saying, "That could never be possible when it comes to you, Jim."

Jim smiled and let himself fall into an uneasy sleep with Spock still moving his hand.


The doctor, Jim assumed Spock told, gave him three different hypos. None of it mattered. His body was sweaty, shaky and he truly doubted he could stand the next morning. He had a cough and a sore throat, his head was light and he threw up when he smelt the breakfast they gave him. It took two guards to lead him to his seat and Bones stood up, letting him know he looked as awful as he felt.

"Dammit!" He heard behind him as he more fell than sat in his chair.

The Admiralty were all frowning at his condition when they came in, some were glaring as if Jim planned on getting the flu when he needed to be focused. It felt like Jim fell asleep for a moment because he blinked and suddenly Spock was standing at the same spot Nandry was in the day before. He really wanted to focus, he really did but he only caught a few words.

Friend... loyal... not a danger...

Was Spock still talking or was his mind making this up?

Adam nudged him and Jim stood up.

One of the Admirals spoke, Jim couldn't tell who, "James Kirk, we have your word that any punishment now or in the future that this Admiralty and this planet hands out to you will not to affect Reklor, our treaties with Reklor or that of our two peaceful futures?"

Jim nodded, holding onto his stomach, damn, Hailian knew where to land a blow.

"I've already contacted Locan and though they are upset, they understand that on this planet and with Star Fleet I am Jim kirk, not Sorren Hart. I would, however, plead for you to never send me to a prison planet for any reason. They wouldn't see that as... honourable."

Jim hunched in on himself in order not to throw up in front of his bosses (old bosses?).

"It is by this council, under having investigated all evidence and testimonies that we charge you with- Jim?"

Someone was saying something, but the ringing in his ears took over and Jim found himself falling through the air, completely spent.


"Oh, my god."

"How could..."

"Why doesn't he ever bloody say anything?"

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Jim laid still finally at peace and finally his head ached less. He was floating, it was so nice. A little longer, he thought, then I'd go back. Just a little longer. He felt the brush of that warm wind again and he grinned ready to surge forward only to be left alone.

He frowned, finally realizing that he was alone.

Suddenly, that floating feeling became too much, he was adrift. Oh god, don't leave him alone. Sivath! Sivath!

Spock!

He started screaming.


Doctor McCoy looked more worried than usual and Spock felt himself tense, his fingers twitching. The older man looked up at him and to his hands, he asked slowly, "You think doing that mojo will help him?" Spock clenched his jaw, remembering Nyota stop him more than two weeks prior. He remembered both her and his father's shocked gazes. That he hadn't thought about it, that he hadn't even remembered his own teachings cut through him. He needed permission, he needed not be so eager.

"Jim will wake up."

Leonard sighed and he nodded, "Yeah, but he's taking his own god damned time about it." It had been a month already. A month that Spock had spent trying to get the Admiralty to listen, luckily he did have his father's way with words. Jim had been nearly sent out of Terra. Not to a prison planet but definitely not to be considered as a partner to Star Fleet.

Spock had not known how to keep his fury inside. For them to be able to dismiss James, as if he hadn't done enough for them, his hands twitched wanted to clench up. Spock reached out and took Jim's hand in his. It didn't matter than Jim was secretive to him, any longer. He was an Emperor yes, the owner of Sana Kor, he had a past, he was also part Vulcan. He had been bonded and T'Pau herself had asked about him. He was one of theirs as well and Spock had already refused to command the Enterprise, he had stated to the Admiralty both in private in the court room that if they wished to terminate James Kirk's position, he would quit.

Spock had many different career choices to choose from, he could join Sana Kor, his lips twitched at that thought, he could also start up an exploratory fleet with his Vulcan brothers and sisters. Spock decided he would bring Jim to New Vulcan for awhile, there were several options of where to go next. The hand in his twitched for the first time and Spock straightened, focused now on Jim.

"Doctor." Spock called out not glancing away from Jim.

Jim opened his eyes and blinked up at them. Spock leaned down and hugged him. Surprised, Jim first tensed and flinched then slowly he hugged him back and Leonard shook his head, sighing in both frustration and relief. "Spock, I'm so glad you're here. For a second..." Spock felt Jim's fear coming off him in waves and didn't let go until Jim calmed down, now bursting with relief.

"Let me in, I'm the doctor here."

Jim groaned and said, "That was awful. Fucking horrible. Jesus...what happened? Am I back?" Leonard snorted and said, "You were unconscious for the last month. You got a flare up kid and this one was a dosey. If you hadn't been close to a hospital, I don't think you would have made it." Jim groaned and made noises with his mouth. Spock immediately got him a glass of water. Jim hummed his thanks looked around.

Gulping he finished his glass and then said, "A whole month, huh?" Both of them nodded and Jim smiled as his gaze went between them. "Wow, you two look so worried, little mother hens here." Jim's eyes went wide and he said, "Shit, what happened? Aww, crap, I can't remember."

"Relax." Leonard said as Spock tightened his hold on Jim's hand. Jim glanced down at their connection and said, "Sorry about the interference." Spock nodded, assuming he was talking about the queasiness that he was experiencing with his stomach as well as a fresh wave of fear.

"Okay, let's get you seated up and I'm going to give you some hypos. In an hour, I want you to eat something with some texture. We'll take it slow." Jim groaned at Leonard's tone and childishly said, "C'mon Bones, I don't need a whole day in here, I've been here a month. And I'm hungry now."

Leonard rolled his eyes and turned around to go get hypos. Spock witnessed Jim smile and wink at him as he continued whining.

Spock felt an elated feeling overwhelm him and he allowed himself a full five minutes to experience it.


Jim was better, Spock observed two days later, he was still pale but now could walk and eat whatever he wished. His wounds had been healed long ago, a grumbling McCoy had cursed many Reklan traditions as he had healed them.

Now, Spock and Nyota were just getting back to his apartment while McCoy took Jim to his and Carol's. The Admiralty would meet them the next day and Spock only had a five point two percent urge to be nervous. He felt that Jim's syndrome, while being another offence against Jim being secretive had actually made the Admiralty soften as well.

Nyota stood in the middle of the living room and Spock only noticed as he took off his overcoat. Frowning, Spock asked, "Nyota, are you well?" She snapped out of her thoughts and frowned at him. "Yeah, yeah I am. Spock..." Her tone and her hesitance made Spock's heart lurch for a moment. "Spock, why were you so ready to meld with Jim?"

Spock frowned and thought about it for the first time, it had been a few days after Jim collapsed and they had all gone to see him, finally allowed to do so. Spock was certain he'd wake up but the tension in his body combined with Leonard's worried expression had made him move. He had felt Jim, even before he touched him, he had felt how far away Jim was from them and he wished only to bring him back.

"I wished to help him. To bring his mind forward into consciousness."

Nyota nodded, bit her lip and slowly made her way to the couch. She put her elbows on her knees and said quietly, "This isn't working, is it?" Spock did not pretend not to know what she was talking about. His mouth went dry and he felt dread rise up in him. They hadn't spoken to each other in two weeks, before that it hadn't been anything personal in months. Spock took a deep breath and sat down next to his intended.

Nyota allowed a tear run down her cheek before she brushed it away. Spock looked to her and asked, "Is it something I have done? Can I not correct it?" Losing Nyota seemed like an impossibility. A year ago (though maybe if he were truthful to himself it was more a year and a half ago), he would have killed anyone who tried to take her away from him. Spock had planned his future with Nyota. They had only had four years together, it wasn't to Spock at all long to be together.

Nyota shook her head. "That's just it, Spock. We've both tried to correct it. I don't know what happened, or how it happened, hell, I can't really predict when. But I know neither of us yelled at each other or cheated, I've always loved you, you're the first man I fell in love with. But I have been thinking over the past couple of months, I wondered where my future is going. I do want to be the best in my field career-wise, but I also want children and a family."

Spock felt his stomach drop. A feeling in which he did not enjoy.

"I know you can have children, I also know you're reluctant to have them and I'm going to be thirty soon. Human's might have better medicine now Spock, but we still pass away a lot sooner than your race. I also don't want to leave you alone when your still so young. I don't want to burden you and I would be if you think completely logically."

Spock nodded, swallowing and he replied, "You would have no wish to wait for several years for a family that you can have sooner, while you are still young. I understand your logic. I also understand that there is a change within us. We are not as we used to be." Nyota's eyes were full of unshed tears now and she nodded.

"Is Montgomery Scott a factor in your decision?" Spock asked, not knowing why he needed to know.

Nyota's eyes widened and she said, "I never-"

"I am aware that you are faithful, I merely... I merely wished to know. I apologize if that is to personal a question." They both froze at that.

Never once had a question been too personal between them.

Nyota had been open, had been his and he had been hers. She wiped her face again and said, "I'm going to be honest with you Spock." Spock looked over at her and couldn't hide his sadness. "I missed human interaction. I love you, I'll always love you. But when I'm around my own race I feel..."

"A connection."

She looked just as sad, staring back at him. "Yes." Spock nodded. She felt as if he were perhaps, not too alien, but too different than she. He sighed deeply, sat back and reached for his first friend. She came easily and they spent the next hour holding each other.

Soon, Nyota gathered what few things of hers were at his apartment, kissed him gently on the forehead and left him still sitting on the couch.

Spock realized then he had no wish to enter another another relationship. He realized for his own future, he wished to bond and it frightened him more than anything.


Jim found himself beside Adam once again, this time not in a court room but in a conference room.

"Your charges have been dismissed," Barrett said looking serious, "But know that there are many Admirals that do not trust you. You have showed yourself to hide many things from all the people around you. You have also showed your dedication to Star Fleet in the last couple of years you've been captain. You should be thankful to some of those pressing missions and those to come."

"The Crucible."

Barrett nodded and said, "They've attacked a transport ship, killed everyone and resupplied. It won't be long now until we hear from them again. We'll need you for that." Jim nodded, serious.

Shit, he only made it by the skin of his teeth. And he had Mitch to thank for it.

"Okay, you're reinstated to the Enterprise, Captain. Don't let me hear anything bad about you again."

Jim was about to leave when the older man stopped him. Looking grim and sad, Jim froze at the Admiral's expression.

"Listen son, "Shit, what now, Jim thought, "I've got some bad news. While you were in the hospital, the Henrietta took fire from the Klingons. They were on a mission to X'en. Half the crew perished but the other half who managed to get home said it was because Acting Captain Winona Kirk saved them after the Captain died. She's lost, Jim. I'm sorry. We had her cremated like she wanted."

Jim stood frozen, as if from a dream Barrett reached behind him and passed Jim a golden inlaid urn.

His mother was in it.

"I'm really sorry."

Jim only numbly nodded before he turned and left.