"Well, that was a big failure." Angie Everhart lamented as he slumped
into an armchair in the Summers' living room.
"Yeah, and Buffy didn't get to see me and then pay attention to me. Me, me, me!" Dawn flounced around the room and then fell into a small chair. The Master tried to keep the rest of the group upbeat.
"Come on people," He scanned the room, "and not so much people. We have them on the run. This is a good thing."
"Whatever. I don't even know why I was brought here." Sunday snapped.
"Simple," the Master replied, "Because you are some of the greatest Bads Buffy has ever faced. And Harmony's here too. You have truly rattled her, played with her, made her fear her life was falling apart. And Harmony's here too. So I brought you back so we can finally kill the slayer and open up the Hellmouth. With Harmony."
"Hi. Um, I was just wondering, um, like, um, so are we actually going to kill all of them, or just Buffy?"
"We'll be killing all of them. Yes. It will be a glorious day for vampyrdom," Olaf grunted, "and trolldom," Dawn flounced, "and bitchy, flouncing, shiny-haired, lame-duck character, kleptomaniac, boring teenagerdom," Dawn made her odd smile face and the Master waited for the Mayor to make a comment, but nothing happened. "Where the hell is that farty old demon?" Swiftly the head of the Mayor slithered back into the open window, holding a plate of cookies.
"They're my specialty. Snickerdoodles for all."
"Wow, even for me?" Dawn looked surprised and happy as she graciously took a cookie. The others soon crept over to the plate, but found it empty.
"What the?" Mr. Trick called out. The Big Bads, and Harmony, turned to Dawn, who had the cookies stuffed down her shirt.
"Wshad?" Dawn said through a mouthful of cinnamony goodness.
"You horrible, whining sack of hair and nasal passages!" Olaf swung his plain new troll hammer at Dawn, who turned her back to him and let her shiny, shiny hair blind him. Confused, Olaf winded up taking off Harmony's head, still holding her dazed and confused look as she became dust, and hairspray.
"Alright, problems are solved. Lets go kill some people." The Master clapped his hands together and walked out the door, followed by Darla, who was now fondling Angel's magically changing and disappearing tattoo on his back through the velvet, The Mayor, Sunday, Mr. Trick, Warren, and Dawn left the house. Olaf attempted to do, but, still blinded, he fell down the basement steps.
Across town, but no more than a clever segue away, the Scoobies searched through every text they could find for some mention of an embarrassing number of plot inconsistencies. Each time they found something, they found they were mistaken.
"That's it," Xander cried, "we're never getting to the bottom of this! Or even the lower half! We're barely skimming the surface of a kiddie pool!"
"It isn't that bad," Anya replied, as she wriggled her arms out of her Swimmies. "This is more of an intermediary pool. Don't you agree, baby?" The brunette woman extended a hand to the fallopian fallacy, who snapped at her while sitting in his duck-shaped inner tube. "Ack! That is one messed up baby."
"Guys!" Buffy bitched, rubbing her legs on one of the legs of the table she sat at, "We have work to do! Work to do. Working it, working it good, working it-"
"Buffy!" Tara yelled as she kicked her friend in the knee, "You can't do that right now."
"Oh, I think I found something!" Willow exclaimed.
"It better not be like five minutes ago, when you 'found' your fifth finger." Xander remarked sarcastically.
"I'm telling you it wasn't there before. Anyway, it says here that some sort of strange convergence is, one second," Willow leaned over to take another hit, but Tara snatched it off the table. "I want my hash pipe!"
"Well, I got your hash pipe." Willow stepped on Tara's shoe and took the pipe from her.
"You got your problems... I got my hash pipe." Buffy smacked Willow over the head, causing her to spit out some Vicoden.
"Damn it, Willow. Get back to the reading. I don't speak whatever this language is."
"English?"
"Shut up and read."
"Fine," Willow huffed, in a non-drug type way, "this book says that all we have to do is kill those trying to open the Hellmouth within a minute and the Hellmouth will stay closed and none of them will be able to come back. Ever. Except in warm, gooey fantasies." Buffy's mind wandered to the one thing she had longed for, that one night, of pure, unadulterated bliss. The time she knew she was perfect. Nothing else mattered except their two bodies. Everything else just fell away.
"God, I wish I was having sex with the Master."
"What?!" Buffy looked around at the piercing, judging eyes staring at her in horror and confusion.
"Did I just think out loud?"
"Yeeeessss." Xander answered her, as he tried to shove the fickle fetus into a cat-carrying case.
"Oh. Ok. So…How do we kill all of those baddies in one minute?"
"We can call upon the four again!" Willow jumped up out of her seat. "Whoa, head rush."
"No, that can't work. Giles isn't here." Buffy continued to ponder as Willow sat down and got up again repeatedly to try and get another head rush. "We need something sweeping. Something big, something big and strong. Spike, what does Mr. Fuzzles think?" Spike jumped out of his seat, angry and sulking and steamy and stuff.
"What? You're asking him for advice now? What has he done for you?"
"He's cute. And full of life. And unlike you, he has a soul!" Buffy stood up against Spike, their pulsating bodies centimeters from each other.
"So? He's my thingy. If he has a soul that means I have one now too." They stopped, then both looked away from each other.
"If you have a soul, I can love you."
"If I have a hamster, I can't get me some slayer bloody booty Cor blimey."
"If you get rid of the hamster, I can't love you."
"If I get rid of this bloody hamster, I can get me some slayer bloody booty Cor blimey."
"Spike. I think I-"
"Want me to get rid of the damn, hamster, will do!" Spike leapt over Buffy and grabbed Tara by the arm. "Undo the spell, you blubbering ninny, before I decide to get some lunch."
"Chip." Tara kicked Spike in the shin and he smacked her across the face, sending rivets of pain up and down his toned body.
"OWWW! Sod off you stupid git! Now change me back!" Spike spat at the girl lying on the ground, and Willow, in a coke-induced rage, attacked.
"Die monstrous fiend!" She punched him in the arm and he kicked her away sending bolts of pain through his body.
"What are you going to do now, Rosey?" Willow's eyes went black as she lifted herself up in the air, and motioned with her hands for the slug candles to lift up, and light.
"I'm gonna have a barbecue. Ignis!" A large blast of flame scorched through the air, nearly burning Spike, who, again remembering he's a vampire, ran away. Xander, for his part, grabbed Anya and tossed her back into the little pool for protection."
"Willow! Why did you do that?" Willow dropped to the ground, refreshed looking, happy, perky, and a bit quirky. She smiled meekly, then ran over to help Tara up.
"Willow, you- your clothes…your shoes…"
"What about them?" Willow looked down at her bright orange bowling shoes, paired with dark green cargo khakis and a bubble-gum pink fuzzy sweater with a design of a barking, tan colored dog on the front.
"You look like crap!" Tara began hugging her girlfriend tightly, "You're ok, you're ok!" Willow accepted the hug readily. "Now we can use magic to help Buffy get Mr. Fuzzles." The two girls sat down on a table and made a circle with their fingers. They joined hands and began chanting.
"Diana, we are really sorry for bothering you again, but we just need a little help in getting Mr. Fuzzles off of Spike. Please help us. We beg of you. Diana, we are really sorry for bothering you again-" In a poof Diana returned.
"What in my name do you two want now?" Dian stood, hands on her hips, as she spoke to the two young ladies.
"Listen, we're really happy for everything you've done for us, but what we need is for you to give us the magical ability to remove Mr. Fuzzles from Spike, so Spike can't hurt him in order to get a- well, a regular thingy."
"He was never regular," Buffy shook her head at the girls.
"What is Buffy talking about, they never saw each other naked?" Xander asked aloud. Anya turned her head and knocked on her ex- fiancée's noggin.
"Is there anything in there besides meats and cheeses?"
"The finest meats and cheeses." Diana looked at all of them with disgust.
"Whatever. Here. Power for every fucking person in the entire world, just never call me again!" In a poof of womanly power, she was gone.
"I wonder if she's having her period." Spike ran back into the room at the mention, and looked furiously around for signs of his prize.
"Well, where is it?" Tara and Willow rejoined hands as they stood up and faced the blond bimbo, well, one of them, the male one.
"Relegare absque ægrotus!" Spike's eyes glowed a fierce yellow, letting one know that magic was a foot, or a hamster, or, oh forget it. The orb of Thesila, which happened to be in the store at the time and right next to the girls as well, glowed, and the hamster appeared inside the ball.
"Mr. Fuzzles, you're alright!" Buffy ran to the orb and hugged it tight. Mr. Fuzzles, for his part, put a paw up to the part glass her cheek was smushed up against. "Thank you guys!" Buffy, still holding Mr. Fuzzles, ran over to her best lesbian friends and gave them a big hug. Anya and Xander got out of the pool and ran into the hug too.
"We want hugs, we want hugs."
"Awwww" They all cooed, except Spike, who looked around for something that wasn't there.
"Where's my-"
"Mr. Fuzzles is with us now, Spike. And you are never getting him back." Buffy held the orb tightly to her body.
"Bloody hell. That's it. I'm out a here. I hope you all die, and I shag all your corpses."
"Even mine?" Xander fretted.
"Especially yours." Spike whipped on a [TWOP alert] Mr. T gold chain, so you knew he meant bidness,[/TWOP alert] and stormed out of the Magic Box.
"Well that was a pointless diversion," Anya retorted, "Now how do we kill years of Big Bads in a minute?"
"Oh, I know!" Willow ran over behind the counter, "D'Hoffryn gave me his locket thingy, and inside was a free wish, no consequences," Willow pulled it out of a drawer, "D'Hoffryn, come to me." In a big bang D'Hoffryn appeared.
"You called, Willow? Ready for evil and such? Cuz I would be very down with that, yes, very down, yo," he announced in a very monotone inflection.
"Oh. We- I have a free wish. So gimme."
"Oh, fine. What is your wish?"
"A pon-" Xander quickly covered her mouth.
"We'll get you one later, just wish the wish you said you'd wish before."
"Fine, poopy-head. I wish that all those gathered together to open the Hellmouth would die, disinegrate, be transported into another dimension, what have you. Ok?"
"Done. Sure you don't wanna join us? We'll give you a pony." Willow put a finger to her chin and pondered, but Buffy answered D'Hoffryn by bouncing the hamster-Thesila ball off of his noggin.
"No. Now shoo." D'Hoffryn disappeared. "Does it work immediately?"
Across the street, the Big Bad Coalition strode toward the Magic Box, but were stopped by severe stomach pain, causing them to collapse on the ground.
"I think we're having our special time!" The Mayor called out.
"Can't be," Alli-Baba corrected, "Spike hasn't humped us yet."
"We must be, cuz I am totally PMSing!" Sunday screamed.
"Stop doing that! Stop not paying attention to me! I hurt too!" Dawn whined.
"Shut-up Dawn!" Was the last phrase she heard, or the rest of the group said. They disappeared in a cloud of evil and hair products. Nothing left but the echo of Dawn's vaporizing catchphrase, "Get ooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuutttttttt"
"Did you guys just hear Dawn?" Buffy asked.
"No, not really. Then again, I usually drown out her voice with the soothing sounds of Sade." Xander sighed.
"Wait, so this is it?" Tara asked.
"I guess."
"But, it doesn't make sense," Anya continued Tara's thought, "I mean, where's Dawn? And Wesley's in another dimension for all we know and what do we do with that baby thing and a lot of things made no sense and wasn't D'Hoffryn chasing me before?" The three original Scoobies merely blinked repeatedly at them.
"I don't get it. The hamster killed the baby," Xander pointed to the orb of Thesila, sitting atop the crushed Connor, "Wesley's right here," Xander pointed to Wesley, who sat with Cordelia and Gunn in the far end of the room, "Dawn died with the other evil things," Xander pointed outside, where the dust blew away to reveal five pounds of stolen goods left behind, "And as we all know D'Hoffryn just wanted to give you a belated Easter card." D'Hoffryn returned with a card which had a picture of a duck on the front, and a decapitated bunny on the inside.
"Oh, thank god." Anya fell back into Xander's puffy chest.
"The hardest thing thing in the world," Xander began.
"I don't wanna hear it anymore, 'is to live in it.' Oye." Buffy cut in.
"Live, shmive. The hardest thing in the world is not to get quoted." Xander rolled his eyes in the back of his puffy skull and turned to Tara, who raised her hand.
"Ok, then can I have a question?" Tara inquired.
"Sure." Buffy happily replied as she pet Mr. Fuzzles.
"What happened to Drusilla?"
"Oh dear. Lets suit up, Scoobs," Mr. Fuzzles grabbed a letter opener with his front paws and stood at attention, causing Buffy to laugh, "He is so cute!" Everyone laughed and laughed, as Dru probably killed a whole lot of innocent people. She probably killed about ten people total in that one night, but Mr. Fuzzles was just so cute he completely made up for it. I guess. I don't know. I'm not a very moral person, so I really wouldn't know. Maybe. I guess, I mean, you gotta admit he's hella cute.
Finis.
Disclaimer- Everything you read is very wrong. It doesn't belong to me, but to other people. Joss Whedon, ME, FOX, and crap own it.
And yes, it is stupid to put this last. But the thing is, I don't FUCKING CARE!
"Yeah, and Buffy didn't get to see me and then pay attention to me. Me, me, me!" Dawn flounced around the room and then fell into a small chair. The Master tried to keep the rest of the group upbeat.
"Come on people," He scanned the room, "and not so much people. We have them on the run. This is a good thing."
"Whatever. I don't even know why I was brought here." Sunday snapped.
"Simple," the Master replied, "Because you are some of the greatest Bads Buffy has ever faced. And Harmony's here too. You have truly rattled her, played with her, made her fear her life was falling apart. And Harmony's here too. So I brought you back so we can finally kill the slayer and open up the Hellmouth. With Harmony."
"Hi. Um, I was just wondering, um, like, um, so are we actually going to kill all of them, or just Buffy?"
"We'll be killing all of them. Yes. It will be a glorious day for vampyrdom," Olaf grunted, "and trolldom," Dawn flounced, "and bitchy, flouncing, shiny-haired, lame-duck character, kleptomaniac, boring teenagerdom," Dawn made her odd smile face and the Master waited for the Mayor to make a comment, but nothing happened. "Where the hell is that farty old demon?" Swiftly the head of the Mayor slithered back into the open window, holding a plate of cookies.
"They're my specialty. Snickerdoodles for all."
"Wow, even for me?" Dawn looked surprised and happy as she graciously took a cookie. The others soon crept over to the plate, but found it empty.
"What the?" Mr. Trick called out. The Big Bads, and Harmony, turned to Dawn, who had the cookies stuffed down her shirt.
"Wshad?" Dawn said through a mouthful of cinnamony goodness.
"You horrible, whining sack of hair and nasal passages!" Olaf swung his plain new troll hammer at Dawn, who turned her back to him and let her shiny, shiny hair blind him. Confused, Olaf winded up taking off Harmony's head, still holding her dazed and confused look as she became dust, and hairspray.
"Alright, problems are solved. Lets go kill some people." The Master clapped his hands together and walked out the door, followed by Darla, who was now fondling Angel's magically changing and disappearing tattoo on his back through the velvet, The Mayor, Sunday, Mr. Trick, Warren, and Dawn left the house. Olaf attempted to do, but, still blinded, he fell down the basement steps.
Across town, but no more than a clever segue away, the Scoobies searched through every text they could find for some mention of an embarrassing number of plot inconsistencies. Each time they found something, they found they were mistaken.
"That's it," Xander cried, "we're never getting to the bottom of this! Or even the lower half! We're barely skimming the surface of a kiddie pool!"
"It isn't that bad," Anya replied, as she wriggled her arms out of her Swimmies. "This is more of an intermediary pool. Don't you agree, baby?" The brunette woman extended a hand to the fallopian fallacy, who snapped at her while sitting in his duck-shaped inner tube. "Ack! That is one messed up baby."
"Guys!" Buffy bitched, rubbing her legs on one of the legs of the table she sat at, "We have work to do! Work to do. Working it, working it good, working it-"
"Buffy!" Tara yelled as she kicked her friend in the knee, "You can't do that right now."
"Oh, I think I found something!" Willow exclaimed.
"It better not be like five minutes ago, when you 'found' your fifth finger." Xander remarked sarcastically.
"I'm telling you it wasn't there before. Anyway, it says here that some sort of strange convergence is, one second," Willow leaned over to take another hit, but Tara snatched it off the table. "I want my hash pipe!"
"Well, I got your hash pipe." Willow stepped on Tara's shoe and took the pipe from her.
"You got your problems... I got my hash pipe." Buffy smacked Willow over the head, causing her to spit out some Vicoden.
"Damn it, Willow. Get back to the reading. I don't speak whatever this language is."
"English?"
"Shut up and read."
"Fine," Willow huffed, in a non-drug type way, "this book says that all we have to do is kill those trying to open the Hellmouth within a minute and the Hellmouth will stay closed and none of them will be able to come back. Ever. Except in warm, gooey fantasies." Buffy's mind wandered to the one thing she had longed for, that one night, of pure, unadulterated bliss. The time she knew she was perfect. Nothing else mattered except their two bodies. Everything else just fell away.
"God, I wish I was having sex with the Master."
"What?!" Buffy looked around at the piercing, judging eyes staring at her in horror and confusion.
"Did I just think out loud?"
"Yeeeessss." Xander answered her, as he tried to shove the fickle fetus into a cat-carrying case.
"Oh. Ok. So…How do we kill all of those baddies in one minute?"
"We can call upon the four again!" Willow jumped up out of her seat. "Whoa, head rush."
"No, that can't work. Giles isn't here." Buffy continued to ponder as Willow sat down and got up again repeatedly to try and get another head rush. "We need something sweeping. Something big, something big and strong. Spike, what does Mr. Fuzzles think?" Spike jumped out of his seat, angry and sulking and steamy and stuff.
"What? You're asking him for advice now? What has he done for you?"
"He's cute. And full of life. And unlike you, he has a soul!" Buffy stood up against Spike, their pulsating bodies centimeters from each other.
"So? He's my thingy. If he has a soul that means I have one now too." They stopped, then both looked away from each other.
"If you have a soul, I can love you."
"If I have a hamster, I can't get me some slayer bloody booty Cor blimey."
"If you get rid of the hamster, I can't love you."
"If I get rid of this bloody hamster, I can get me some slayer bloody booty Cor blimey."
"Spike. I think I-"
"Want me to get rid of the damn, hamster, will do!" Spike leapt over Buffy and grabbed Tara by the arm. "Undo the spell, you blubbering ninny, before I decide to get some lunch."
"Chip." Tara kicked Spike in the shin and he smacked her across the face, sending rivets of pain up and down his toned body.
"OWWW! Sod off you stupid git! Now change me back!" Spike spat at the girl lying on the ground, and Willow, in a coke-induced rage, attacked.
"Die monstrous fiend!" She punched him in the arm and he kicked her away sending bolts of pain through his body.
"What are you going to do now, Rosey?" Willow's eyes went black as she lifted herself up in the air, and motioned with her hands for the slug candles to lift up, and light.
"I'm gonna have a barbecue. Ignis!" A large blast of flame scorched through the air, nearly burning Spike, who, again remembering he's a vampire, ran away. Xander, for his part, grabbed Anya and tossed her back into the little pool for protection."
"Willow! Why did you do that?" Willow dropped to the ground, refreshed looking, happy, perky, and a bit quirky. She smiled meekly, then ran over to help Tara up.
"Willow, you- your clothes…your shoes…"
"What about them?" Willow looked down at her bright orange bowling shoes, paired with dark green cargo khakis and a bubble-gum pink fuzzy sweater with a design of a barking, tan colored dog on the front.
"You look like crap!" Tara began hugging her girlfriend tightly, "You're ok, you're ok!" Willow accepted the hug readily. "Now we can use magic to help Buffy get Mr. Fuzzles." The two girls sat down on a table and made a circle with their fingers. They joined hands and began chanting.
"Diana, we are really sorry for bothering you again, but we just need a little help in getting Mr. Fuzzles off of Spike. Please help us. We beg of you. Diana, we are really sorry for bothering you again-" In a poof Diana returned.
"What in my name do you two want now?" Dian stood, hands on her hips, as she spoke to the two young ladies.
"Listen, we're really happy for everything you've done for us, but what we need is for you to give us the magical ability to remove Mr. Fuzzles from Spike, so Spike can't hurt him in order to get a- well, a regular thingy."
"He was never regular," Buffy shook her head at the girls.
"What is Buffy talking about, they never saw each other naked?" Xander asked aloud. Anya turned her head and knocked on her ex- fiancée's noggin.
"Is there anything in there besides meats and cheeses?"
"The finest meats and cheeses." Diana looked at all of them with disgust.
"Whatever. Here. Power for every fucking person in the entire world, just never call me again!" In a poof of womanly power, she was gone.
"I wonder if she's having her period." Spike ran back into the room at the mention, and looked furiously around for signs of his prize.
"Well, where is it?" Tara and Willow rejoined hands as they stood up and faced the blond bimbo, well, one of them, the male one.
"Relegare absque ægrotus!" Spike's eyes glowed a fierce yellow, letting one know that magic was a foot, or a hamster, or, oh forget it. The orb of Thesila, which happened to be in the store at the time and right next to the girls as well, glowed, and the hamster appeared inside the ball.
"Mr. Fuzzles, you're alright!" Buffy ran to the orb and hugged it tight. Mr. Fuzzles, for his part, put a paw up to the part glass her cheek was smushed up against. "Thank you guys!" Buffy, still holding Mr. Fuzzles, ran over to her best lesbian friends and gave them a big hug. Anya and Xander got out of the pool and ran into the hug too.
"We want hugs, we want hugs."
"Awwww" They all cooed, except Spike, who looked around for something that wasn't there.
"Where's my-"
"Mr. Fuzzles is with us now, Spike. And you are never getting him back." Buffy held the orb tightly to her body.
"Bloody hell. That's it. I'm out a here. I hope you all die, and I shag all your corpses."
"Even mine?" Xander fretted.
"Especially yours." Spike whipped on a [TWOP alert] Mr. T gold chain, so you knew he meant bidness,[/TWOP alert] and stormed out of the Magic Box.
"Well that was a pointless diversion," Anya retorted, "Now how do we kill years of Big Bads in a minute?"
"Oh, I know!" Willow ran over behind the counter, "D'Hoffryn gave me his locket thingy, and inside was a free wish, no consequences," Willow pulled it out of a drawer, "D'Hoffryn, come to me." In a big bang D'Hoffryn appeared.
"You called, Willow? Ready for evil and such? Cuz I would be very down with that, yes, very down, yo," he announced in a very monotone inflection.
"Oh. We- I have a free wish. So gimme."
"Oh, fine. What is your wish?"
"A pon-" Xander quickly covered her mouth.
"We'll get you one later, just wish the wish you said you'd wish before."
"Fine, poopy-head. I wish that all those gathered together to open the Hellmouth would die, disinegrate, be transported into another dimension, what have you. Ok?"
"Done. Sure you don't wanna join us? We'll give you a pony." Willow put a finger to her chin and pondered, but Buffy answered D'Hoffryn by bouncing the hamster-Thesila ball off of his noggin.
"No. Now shoo." D'Hoffryn disappeared. "Does it work immediately?"
Across the street, the Big Bad Coalition strode toward the Magic Box, but were stopped by severe stomach pain, causing them to collapse on the ground.
"I think we're having our special time!" The Mayor called out.
"Can't be," Alli-Baba corrected, "Spike hasn't humped us yet."
"We must be, cuz I am totally PMSing!" Sunday screamed.
"Stop doing that! Stop not paying attention to me! I hurt too!" Dawn whined.
"Shut-up Dawn!" Was the last phrase she heard, or the rest of the group said. They disappeared in a cloud of evil and hair products. Nothing left but the echo of Dawn's vaporizing catchphrase, "Get ooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuutttttttt"
"Did you guys just hear Dawn?" Buffy asked.
"No, not really. Then again, I usually drown out her voice with the soothing sounds of Sade." Xander sighed.
"Wait, so this is it?" Tara asked.
"I guess."
"But, it doesn't make sense," Anya continued Tara's thought, "I mean, where's Dawn? And Wesley's in another dimension for all we know and what do we do with that baby thing and a lot of things made no sense and wasn't D'Hoffryn chasing me before?" The three original Scoobies merely blinked repeatedly at them.
"I don't get it. The hamster killed the baby," Xander pointed to the orb of Thesila, sitting atop the crushed Connor, "Wesley's right here," Xander pointed to Wesley, who sat with Cordelia and Gunn in the far end of the room, "Dawn died with the other evil things," Xander pointed outside, where the dust blew away to reveal five pounds of stolen goods left behind, "And as we all know D'Hoffryn just wanted to give you a belated Easter card." D'Hoffryn returned with a card which had a picture of a duck on the front, and a decapitated bunny on the inside.
"Oh, thank god." Anya fell back into Xander's puffy chest.
"The hardest thing thing in the world," Xander began.
"I don't wanna hear it anymore, 'is to live in it.' Oye." Buffy cut in.
"Live, shmive. The hardest thing in the world is not to get quoted." Xander rolled his eyes in the back of his puffy skull and turned to Tara, who raised her hand.
"Ok, then can I have a question?" Tara inquired.
"Sure." Buffy happily replied as she pet Mr. Fuzzles.
"What happened to Drusilla?"
"Oh dear. Lets suit up, Scoobs," Mr. Fuzzles grabbed a letter opener with his front paws and stood at attention, causing Buffy to laugh, "He is so cute!" Everyone laughed and laughed, as Dru probably killed a whole lot of innocent people. She probably killed about ten people total in that one night, but Mr. Fuzzles was just so cute he completely made up for it. I guess. I don't know. I'm not a very moral person, so I really wouldn't know. Maybe. I guess, I mean, you gotta admit he's hella cute.
Finis.
Disclaimer- Everything you read is very wrong. It doesn't belong to me, but to other people. Joss Whedon, ME, FOX, and crap own it.
And yes, it is stupid to put this last. But the thing is, I don't FUCKING CARE!
