Here is the Saturday update, we will see you on Wednesday with more.
Chapter 12
In my home office, I'm working when there's a light knock on my door.
"Come in," I yell frowning because Emmett always just walks right in, no matter if my door is closed or open.
"Hi," Bella says and my eyes snap to the door seeing her standing there.
"Hi?" I say a little confused.
"I was wanting to get your opinion on something, if you have the time?" While she talks she waves some papers. She's trying to make it sound like it's no big deal, but I've got a feeling this is important to her.
"Come on in, and tell me what you need?"
Bella smiles and I watch as she takes a deep breath.
"I'm applying for college, in Port Angeles, and UW, could you look over these forms to see if they are filled in right. I have to put in assets ..." she trails off and clears her throat. "There's no hurry, I can leave them with you." As Bella puts the papers on my desk, I place my hand on hers making her look at me again.
"I'll look them over right now, why don't you go get us some coffee and cookies to keep us going?"
Bella nods her head and smiles at me. "Okay," she says walking to the door.
"Where's Emmett?" I ask knowing this will take some time, and he may have plans.
"He just left for football?" Bella says shyly and swallows.
"That's good we can get some peace and quiet then," I laugh.
Bella lets out a breath looking relieved and walks away from the door.
Pushing my glasses up, I start to look over her forms. They're easy to read and she has them filled out correctly, until I get to the financial circumstances side of things. The asset information is completely blank, and I frown a little wondering why it's not filled in. Seeing she has brought copies of her parents' tax returns, I start to work it all out.
"I wasn't sure about how to do that part," Bella says making me jump as I didn't hear her come in again.
"It's all right," I reassure her as she places the coffee down.
"Did you tell them I was looking these over?"
Bella shakes her head at me. "They don't know I'm applying."
Letting out a sigh, but holding back any other words, because she drops her head. It's best if I just move on and keep my thoughts and opinions to myself.
It takes me just over a half hour and I know she will not get much support. Her parents are just over the bracket, but just barely and by less than fifteen dollars.
"Mina, there's a chance you will not get much in the way of support."
She nods at me and then shrugs. "I know, but when the time comes and want to go then i could work. Even if I have to get two jobs, I can. I could even stay off campus if I go to college in Port Angeles and just commute daily."
Even knowing she doesn't stand much of a chance at being able to pull all that off, I smile at her. Moving to her ACT scores, I have to do a double take. When I first see her scores, I'm almost in disbelief. Of the twenty-four hundred possible to obtain a perfect score, she has twenty-two hundred. Looking at her GPA, I can't help but stutter, "You have a 4.5 GPA?"
"Yeah, anything less than an A is not acceptable for my dad."
My hand covers hers right away and I gently run my thumb over it until she looks at me.
"Has he seen this?" I ask pointing at her scores and official GPA.
"Not sure, it's been a little while since either of my parents have talked to me about school. I think they believe that since I haven't said anything and the school hasn't contacted them, so I think they assume I'm fine. When I was younger he hated it if I brought in anything less than an A. He said mom and he were both straight A students, so were their parents and so on." Bella rolls her hand to tell me there's a long line of Swan's getting top marks. "Swan's didn't get anything lower than an A, and he trusts me to do the same. Which I am—well except gym—and I'm not sure how he will take that."
Her face falls a little and it goes straight to my heart.
"Mina," I say softly.
Bella looks at me and smile. "I take it you are just calling me that all the time now, huh?"
Feeling my face heat up, I know she's right, I rarely call her anything else now. "Do you mind?"
"No, I don't, I quite like it."
She blushes and looks down after a few minutes, because I sit here staring at her.
"How is Tia?" she asks.
Shaking my head and trying hard to clear it enough to talk to her. "She's good, I'm going to see her tomorrow night."
"That's good, you need to spend some time with her, before she goes out of town. I'm sure you'll miss her."
It's not really a question she's asking, it sounds like she's making a statement.
"No, well ..." Bella looks at me. "While I will miss her ... I just won't ... not in that way. I'm telling her tonight that we can only be friends, I don't see more than that between her and I."
"I'm sorry," Bella says right away and looks pained.
"It's okay, I wasn't expecting anything from our dates anyway."
"Sometimes to find love we have to give a little of ourselves. You know, just jump in there with both feet. Sure it's a way to get hurt—be hurt—but at least you get a taste of it, and maybe you won't miss your one."
Her words touch my heart. As she speaks, I can feel how her words are filled with so much love and hope.
"Are you giving me dating advice?"
"Yeah, I am. You're a great guy, Edward. I know that Emmett's— Angela—hurt you. She hurt you by leaving Emmett, but there's someone out there for you. If you just let them see this part of you, I know they will stick around and fall for you too." Bella stops and shakes her head. "Maybe that's wrong, I can't imagine a girl not falling for your charm—loving you—but you have to let yourself be seen by them. Fall for them and allow them to fall for you. Together you could change mutual attraction into love?" Bella shakes her head and lets out a deep breath. "Sorry, I guess I'm just an old romantic girl."
"No, that was good advice and I will remember it."
Taking my hand away from hers, I work to finish the task at hand.
Bella's essays both surprised and touched me. She will do well studying as an English major. She will go places if she applies herself in any field.
"These are very good, I'm sure you'll get accepted."
The only thing looking to be in her way is money. If it comes to it, I will pay for her to go, to any college she wants, even if it meant her moving away from me.
Bella blushes a little and stands up slowly. "Thank you for your help." She clears her throat again as she looks at me. "I'm gonna get out of your hair, and give you some alone time."
The whole time she's talking, she's walking with her head down as she goes toward my office door.
"No," I blurt out making her stop and turn back to me. "Stay, I'm done with my work anyway." This is a total lie, as I have loads to do, but I don't want her to leave.
"If you're sure?"
Nodding at her, I stand from my chair. "Come on, stay and help me with dinner," I say moving my hand so it clasps hers.
"Why haven't you told your parents about how sad, upset and lonely you feel?" This has been on my mind for so long, so I have to ask.
Bella doesn't look my way as we walk in to the kitchen. "I'm not sure. My parents and I have never been ..." Bella stops and looks up at me for a few seconds. "We've never been like you and Emmett. He shows you so much of himself ... you know? He's able to be so honest and open with you. If he needs you, he knows you'll be there. It's like he can come to you as your son, friend, brother, and even his mom, because you fill all those roles for him. When it comes to my parents and I, maybe it is me. I mean I'm a very private and closed off person, but I just ... when they're there, I just want to relax and have fun. Enjoy our time. I don't want the little time we get to be weighted down with my wants and needs."
Sighing a little, but understanding her point of view, I frown. "You could write them a letter?"
Bella just looks at me and I hold up my hand to stop her and make her hear me out. "If I were to find out some of my choices made Emmett hurt or be sad, and he never told me, it would kill me." Shaking off the guilt over how I feel about Bella, I carry on. "Just try and let them know, they're parents, not mind readers."
Bella chuckles and shakes her head at me. "Okay, I will once they come back from their honeymoon."
Smiling broadly at her, I hug her. "I'm happy to hear that, Mina."
We head to the kitchen and get busy starting dinner.
"Edward, what were you like in school? I know you and Angela were sweethearts, but what else?"
Rolling my eyes a little, I shake my head. "Angela and I were not sweethearts. In school I had a knack for learning, but was also a jock."
"Really?" Bella asks, sounding surprised.
"Yes, but it didn't mean as much to me as it does to Emmett. Anyway, I was getting top marks in all my subjects. Most guys listened to what I said, and I had my following of girls." Stopping, I can't help but let out a chuckle. "I was very big headed. I never picked on anyone, but in saying that, I didn't see anyone outside my circle of friends.
"I was seventeen, when I got my first real girlfriend—a serious one—her name was Jane. Jane was a tiny thing, we were great together. After a while she just started calling me Eddie, then moved on to Eddie-pooh. I hated it, but brushed it off as she only said it when we were alone. All too soon, she was calling me that all the time. Soon after she started that, everyone at school was saying it. One day Mike asked her why, and she said I reminded her of Winnie the fucking pooh—"
Bella's giggling stops me from talking, and I can't help but smile at her.
"Laugh it up, but everyone started leaving me Winnie the Pooh things. I believe it was Mike, but I don't have proof who did the worse thing though. Somehow my name got changed in the programs for the football games, and my name was printed as Eddie-Pooh bear. I flipped my shit and well that's really when Mike and I became enemies. I ended it with Jane, and made it clear to everyone my name was Edward. It wasn't easy, but they learned if they called me anything else they would get a beat down."
Bella keeps chuckling. "What about Angela?"
"Well she was always there, she was shy and in most of my classes. She seemed to be the only one who didn't call me anything but Edward. I found comfort and trust with her. A few months after starting our senior year we just hooked up. It didn't last too long, she just wasn't the right fit. Of course when she came and told me she was pregnant ... well you know how that worked out." I stop talking and Bella squeezes my arm. "What about in college, any girls there catch your eye?"
Shaking my head, I smile. "No not really, I always seemed to find a reason not to date anyone or if I did, it never went past a date."
"Why?"
"I think I'm looking for that one perfect girl. You know the one who ..." I stop talking as Bella looks at me and our eyes seem to link. "The one I could look into her eyes and see the rest of my life play out."
"And you don't feel that for Tia?"
Closing my eyes I shake my head. "I really don't think my heart is in it," I say feeling weak and guilty. The guilt comes from continuing to see her when I knew from the second I met Tia, she wasn't my one.
"Let's talk about something else?" Bella says before jumping into stories of her many trips to the hospital.
After that we move on to her telling me of her dislike for Mike Newton.
"Come on, Edward, tell me a story about you and Newton."
Shaking my head I smirk at her. "That would be wrong," I chuckle out.
The fact her whole face has lit up and her eyes are sparkling with what I assume is amusement, makes me laugh harder.
"Please," she says while giving me a puppy dog look.
"Come on, Mina, you don't want to know these things."
"Eddie, tell me ..."
I gasp and turn to her and she's smirking.
"Or I'll keep calling you Eddie, or maybe I could just call you Eddie-Pooh-bear!"
"I knew I shouldn't have told you the reason behind why I hated being called anything but Edward." I stop what I'm doing, looking right at her.
"But you did and I am choosing to use it, to bug you. So, Eddie-pooh-bear," Bella says the name this time in an over the top sexy voice, "tell me something about you and Newton."
"Or, I could just punish you," I say as I stalk towards her. My eyes are on hers and she looks at me wide eyed.
"You wouldn't, Eddie-Pooh-bear," her voice shakes, but only a little.
"Oh wouldn't I?" I say springing on her and tickling her as she squeals out with laughter.
"Ed-ddie," Bella says between her shrieks of laughter.
"You're still calling me that?" I growl in her ear. "Time to pull out the big guns," I say before I start to blow raspberries on her neck but this just makes her laugh more.
"DAD! BELLLA!"
Bella and I jump apart at Emmett's booming voice.
"Dinner?" he says pointing at it, and I move quickly to the stove, shocked that our sauce has boiled over. As I move the pan over to the sink it comes to me that Bella and I had been so engrossed with each other, we didn't hear the stove, nor did we hear Emmett come in. Now I stand here wondering how long he was watching us, before we knew he was standing there.
"I think it would be best to call and order something to be delivered," I say turning back around. Emmett's eyes flutter to mine and he nods his head, but they go back to Bella. My eyes move there too to find she's still in the same place I left her only now her head is down.
"Bella, love, are you okay?" Emmett asks and I hear the worry in his voice.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
She whispers her answer so quietly, I'm just barely able to make out her words.
"Come on, I have some stories on Newton," Emmett says sounding happy. His words let me know he had been there for a while. "Dad tell us when dinner arrives."
"Will do," I say not looking at him. My eyes are still on Bella. As she walks out of the kitchen her eyes move to me and she gives me a weak smile before looking at Emmett. When her hand slides into his, my chest starts to feel tight and I wonder if I will ever get over being in love with her.
After calling to order dinner, I clean up the mess in the kitchen. When dinner arrives, I call Emmett and Bella down to eat. Dinner is strange, Bella seems to have shut down and didn't really talk much. The few times she did say anything it seemed to stutter out, or was said quietly.
"Emmett, dishes," I say and he huffs but gets up.
"Come on, Bells," he yells over his shoulder as he's walking out. When she moves past me, I catch her arm clasping her wrist.
"Mina, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm sorry," she says to the floor and place my other hand under her chin. Bringing her head up, as I am sitting and she's a little thing she's able to look me in the eye.
"I'm sorry if I over stepped the mark earlier."
"You didn't," she says instantly and I nod.
"BELLS!" Emmett yells.
Glaring at the door to the kitchen, I have to tell myself to stay sitting, while my inner thoughts rage about his lack of respect for his girlfriend.
"I better go," she says and I drop my hand from her wrist.
Nodding again, I can't help but feel rejection. This fucking sucks.
~MSG~
"Hi," Tia says as she opens her door.
"Hi, you look amazing," I tell her handing her the flowers.
"Thank you, come in," she replies taking them from my hand.
Pulling at my hair, I follow her into her home. Having been here a few times now, for game night with our friends, I don't feel uncomfortable. My plan was to take her out for dinner, but when she offered to cook I accepted. It's probably best to tell her privately I wish to only be her friend and nothing else. Telling her something like that in public seems wrong and rude.
"Should I order our dinner in?" I ask her softly. She did offer to cook, but again having her cook for my ass just to reject her is also fucked up.
"I made us dinner already," she says back to me with a smile and my heart races as I start to pull on my hair.
"It's fine, Edward, will you calm the hell down?"
Looking at her, I wonder how she knows I am in such turmoil.
"Look, Edward, I'm sure all women love you, and want you. Sorry to burst your bubble and hurt your ego, but I know you feel the same friendship I do. I'm sure you'll get over the fact I friend zoned your ass."
Shaking my head I chuckle at her sassiness. "So we are still friends then?"
She rolls her eyes and bobs her head at me. "Yes, we're still friends."
Letting out the deep breath I had been holding, I feel relief.
"You are nice, Edward, and I'm sure if you opened your eyes and ears you'd find someone perfect for you. You know someone who will let you do that Tarzan cave man shit."
"I'm not a cave man," I half yell making her laugh. "It's called being a gentleman." This just makes her laugh more, and I know where I still am a shit head over my feelings for Bella, I have at least gained another good friend.
A/N: So some of you are unhappy becasue there is a slow burn and Edward and Bella aren't jumping into a huge affair. We are sorry if you are unhappy with it, but this is a full story not a one shot or short fast fic. So what are your thoughts on Bella's college plans and Edward's feelings about it all?
