TO YOU
(A Qui-Gon and Tahl romance in short installments)
by ardavenport
/\\v/\\v/\\ He Touches Me /\\v/\\v/\\
Qui-Gon has left the med center. Obi-Wan accompanied him to his room. It must have been a long slow trip if Qui-Gon really insisted on walking the entire way. He is stubborn enough to do it.
Qui-Gon has also begun lightsaber training with Master Yoda. But if they both insist on walking the halls together all the time then they really won't get much done.
I touch the panel outside Qui-Gon's room. The door opens and I enter. It feels like every other room as I follow the inside entryway wall with my hand. But Qui-Gon is inside this one. All my senses detect the long disused space, the stale scents that are now renewed by his presence.
"Tahl."
I know from the tone of his voice that we are alone. His voice is always different, lower, when we are alone. So, is mine. His arms go around me and my arms go around him. We press together in a long slow embrace.
Our lightsabers poke each over in opposing hips. We draw back a little.
"I pledge myself to you, Tahl", he says softly.
"I pledge myself to you, Qui-Gon," I say into his hair. "I feel the same as it was when we first spoke these words."
He chuckles. "I am not the same as I was then. I am weak Tahl. And old."
I can not deny that his voice quavers with the sound of age now. And he is thinner. I stroke his beard. It is still long.
"And my hair is gray, Tahl."
I smile. "I cannot see that." I lay my head on his shoulder. "You are still you." My hand rests on his chest. "And we all age, Qui-Gon."
He is still sad as he holds me.
"When I lost my sight Qui-Gon, I claimed to accept it, but I didn't. I pushed away any kindness because I was so afraid of pity. But you never did, and your injuries were so much worse than mine."
"It is hard to push anyone away when you cannot move," he tells me.
"But you were never angry, Qui-Gon. You were just you." I move my head closer. I breath on his neck. "That has always been your strength, Qui-Gon." I do not know what will happen next.
"Tahl," he whispers. "I. . . . cannot." His voice is heavy with sorrow. At first I do not understand.
Then I do.
I was there for his recuperation. The slow progression of teaching his body to heal itself as best it could. Arms and legs, hands and feet, shoulders, back, neck. But the. . . .manly parts of him were not included. Not that I know of. Technically, there would be no need. For that. It certainly would have been difficult to explain to Healer Leona why that part of him would need to be exercised. Would Obi-Wan understand that request? Possibly. He is a man now, but I know Qui-Gon could not ask.
I am embarrassed for being so thoughtless. Really, I should have known.
I take his hands and clasp them between us.
"You are still you, Qui-Gon. And I pledge myself to you."
He lifts my hands and I feel his lips on them. Then he guides me into his room. I really do not know what will happen next.
