That night, she was lying in Serena's guest bedroom reviewing everything that had happened to her. She had been so preoccupied she had forgotten to put her minions in place like usual. True, these things came naturally and she probably did it without thinking anyway but she hated being so weak. She began crying. Why was her life so screwed up? She couldn't think of a good explanation as to why she was crying, she just felt like crying. She had cried herself to sleep most nights since she had gotten to Serena's house. She needed someone to be with her and assure her of her safety but Serena cared too much about banging Nate. She felt completely alone. When she was with Chuck, he stopped his whole life to take care of her. She had been a bitch to him and she knew it, but she had already apologized. What did he want from her now? She didn't have the energy to fight with him though. She knew he wouldn't admit any feelings to her if he had them. She had already told him how she felt, indirectly of course. So he already knew, if he wanted to, he would tell her how he feels. How much she wished she had stayed with Chuck, but she couldn't. People would start talking about her and she needed to keep her reputation. Her own mother hadn't hesitated to judge her, what would everybody else think? She couldn't sleep, she looked at the time. It was 2 AM. She could still hear Serena's cries "Nate, Nate!" this happened every single night. She tried to drown out the noise like usual by shoving her head under her pillow but it didn't work. She was too tired of it so she got up, wore something comfortable and went down into the lobby. She paced back and forth a bit, and realized everybody was staring at her. She couldn't go anywhere public right now; the creeps would be out at this time of the night. She decided to sneak back into Eleanor's place and sleep there, and leave before she awoke. That wouldn't be too hard, Eleanor was a deep sleeper. She snuck out of the lobby as if she were trying not to wake a baby and stopped outside. What was she thinking? How would she get there? Her driver had the night off and taxis are just too gross to use. As if out of nowhere a long black limo stopped in front of her. She screamed loudly as if she were under attack. It looked like Jack's limo. She was frozen. She clutched her bag and was ready to swing. However, instead of Jack, a handsome tall man walked out. She let out a sigh of relief. It was Chuck's limo. She hated the fact that they both had the same long black limo.
"Where are you going?" he said curiously.
"Why do you care?"
"Blair, stop being so stubborn, I obviously care about you!"
Her eyes were red and puffy from crying and he saw that. His voice softened as he stepped closer to touch her face. "What's wrong?" He brushed his fingertips across her face. The concern in his eyes deepened. Suddenly, he wrapped his big arms around her tight. "I'm so sorry if I have been a complete ass lately! I don't mean to hurt you every single time I see you. I just feel like it's inevitable. I am just a jerk to you all the time. I know you've been through a lot. It's all my fault. I'll leave. I need to leave to stop hurting you."
"NO!" her voice cracked. She had scared herself with the passion in her voice. "No, please, Chuck I need you! Please!" She had started crying again. She wiped her tears in his shirt like a child.
"But if I stay I'll keep hurting you. I think it's for the best!"
"Don't you understand Chuck? You'll hurt me more by leaving me! I can't do this alone. I thought I was over the whole Jack thing but I'm not! I'm paranoid. Right now, I was about to fall over unconscious because I thought this limo belonged to Jack. I can't do this without you. Without you I'm completely alone!" She hugged him tighter, as if to keep him there and not let him leave. He was the only one who would hold her like this right now. She kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear. "I love you" It was barely audible but she knew he heard it.
"Blair, I c…"
"Shhh, please just don't say anything. I just needed you to hear that."
He held her tighter "Do you want to come over to my place? You'll get some sleep there."
She thought it over. There was no harm in that. She should go. "Ok, but under one condition, Bass."
"Your wish is my command, Waldorf" he said jokingly.
"Don't break my heart again."
"I'll try not to" He led her into the limo.
Blair couldn't believe she had actually told Chuck how she felt. She didn't regret it at all. She wasn't going to try to force him to say it too. It would ruin everything. She knew he was capable of love but he wasn't ready for it yet. Although she knew he couldn't say it yet it felt good being close to him. She put her head on his shoulder and intertwined their fingers. She played with his fingers for a long time before he broke the silence. "Blair, how are you?"
This question caught her off guard. There was genuine concern in his voice and it made her heart melt. Hadn't she already told him how she was feeling?
"I already told you…"
"No" he said shaking his head "I need to know how you're dealing with everything every day."
She let out a long sigh contemplating on what parts to tell him. "Well, I cry myself to sleep every night, and nobody seems to realize. Serena and Nate are too busy to pay attention to me. Serena is a good friend and every time she gets a chance she talks to me but…"
She began crying again. He held her close "it's ok I'm here"
"And my mother…well she's just something else.
She felt Chuck's breath next to her ear. She knew, already, how much he cared about her, but seeing it and feeling it made her heart flutter. She was broken and he wanted to put her back together. Nobody other than Serena and Chuck has seen her weak side. She wanted to keep it that way. They made it to the Bass penthouse and made their way in. He led her to his bed and without thinking he tucked her in. He scooted back a little and started taking off his shirt. She watched how his muscles moved with him. He turned around and took off his pants and she was still mesmerized by him. Without thinking she let out a huge sigh. Chuck turned around and chuckled quietly. He knew what she was looking at and he was amused by it. He scooted in near her and just like before she cuddled in near him. She liked how easy it was to be close to him. She closed her eyes and fell asleep, she didn't have to cry herself to sleep as long as Chuck was lying next to her.
