Okay ^^ here we go again :) thanks for all coments, keep it up my friends ^^
Jenny.
After the show the very same night I was painful aware of that everyone stared at me when we sat together in the filthy tour bus, I didn't make eye contact with anyone, I tried to clean up a little so no one would ask the question everyone had on their lips.
"Jen… are you okay?" Frank took the courage to ask what everyone wanted to know.
Yes?
No?
I don't know?
What was I supposed to say, in theory I was okay I mean I had taken the guy down easily but he had… I don't know… tried to do things I didn't want anyone to do except for…
"Jenny darling?" I must have stared out into the air in front of me when I was thinking of what to answer and Frank stared at me, he looked worried.
"No… I guess I'm okay… but… it was a bit scary!" I sobbed and I saw Mikey rise and get out of the bus, he had the phone to his ear but it didn't look like he had getting a call or was making one, it looked more of an excuse to get the hell out if the tension among us.
Gerard, who sat next to me, dragged me into his arms.
"Hey Jen don't cry… you are okay!" He whispered into my hair. I tried to get him to let go of me but he just held me there in his safe arms. Not until I stopped my sobbing he let go of me.
Mikey came back, he got something from the back of the bus before he left again. The guys glared at each other as they knew something I didn't know.
"Well I need a smoke, anyone joining me?" Gerard asked with a bit more joy than before and both I and Frank decided joined him outside.
"You are stupid Jenny!" Frank sighed when Gerard lit up one for me. "And Gerard you shouldn't give her!"
"Oh stop trying to be a saint Frank!" I almost yelled. "You are doing it to… I had a rough day!"
"You don't know…" Frank started but after a glare from Gerard he shut his mouth and smoked his cigarette under silence.
I didn't talk a lot and when the others were ready I didn't want to go inside, instead I stayed outside, Gerard gave me a look telling me he didn't want me to stay where I was but instead of pretending I had seen it I looked the other way.
I slowly walked around the bus, I had my eyes down into the ground, and I didn't know what to do with anything, the band, my job or my feelings...All the sudden I bumped into someone.
"Ouch! Watch it!" a well known voice said.
"You can watch it!" I said teasing Mikey who stood in front of me.
"Your mama can watch it!" he said back to me.
"You mama watched it yesterday…" I said and we both broke into laugh.
"That tooootally makes no sense at all!" he managed to say during the laugh, we stood close to each other and I could smell the alcohol on his breath.
"Have you been drinking?" it took me a second before realizing that I actually had asked the question.
"I will not deny that…" He whispered as he looked into my eyes. His eyes where so amazing they had a hazel colour.
"Mikey?" I whispered it felt like his eyes had put a spell on me. "Do you like me?" All the sudden it felt like I was in the second grade, when I still was in school and the cutest boy in the class asked if I liked him…
"Jenny… of course I like you… we all do, you are cute, smart, you make us laugh and you help saving our lives…" I stared at him.
"No Mikey… do you like LIKE me?" all the sudden I didn't feel the spell from his eyes anymore, I just felt frustrated by his… stupidity…
Mikey.
Of course I liked her THAT way, I had for a long time now and well I was tired of not having the one I really wanted. I know I should finish things off with Alicia first…
I leaned forward intoxicated by the alcohol and her appearance. I closed my eyes and just placed my lips gentle on hers.
You know how it is in those books and movies, it is fireworks around and stuff like that… it felt like that. It was amazing. When we broke apart I smiled at her, she returned my smile.
"I like you, no I like LIKE you!" I whispered and I kissed her again as I stroke my fingers through her purple hair, this time I actually saw a flash around us. I opened my eyes as we fast broke apart. All I could see was a man with a huge camera taking pictures at us.
"Smile into the camera Mikey!" he yelled and laughed like a mad man.
"HELL!" I screamed and dragged Jenny away from the man. "Get inside!" I whispered as I walked out to the man.
"Give me the pictures, please?" I begged but he just laughed at and walked away. I picked up the bottle I had put down on the ground when Jenny bumped into me and now I poured the rest of the booze down my throat, it was a lot and it burned my throat.
Then I walked into the bus, trying to act normal…
Although I didn't love my wife anymore I didn't want her to find out that I was going to divorce her this way, I mean opening a paper and see your husband kissing a seventeen year old girl isn't a nice way, it isn't nice to find out anyhow but this…
When I had got on the bus Gerard grabbed my arm and dragged me back to the bunks.
"You are drunk." He said with just one look at me.
"No shiiit sheerloock!" I said. Oh yeah that's me acting normal when I'm intoxicated.
"Shit!" I could hear the mumble from my brother. "Why Mikey?"
"Why razorblades?"
"To be numb…?"
"Exactly."
"Fuck!"
Gerard.
We sat together, silent; no one could find the words to say what we really wanted to say. I wanted to yell at my kid brother for doing my mistakes. And he probably wanted to kill me for my old and new ones.
"You know I'm jealous at you?" Mikey said out into the air.
"Why? You got the prefect life…" I started but I only caused tears in my brother's eyes.
"No… you have a wife that you love, an amazing baby daughter, you have a family… I have… divorce papers and a crush…" he sobbed.
"Alicia? She…she wants to divorce you?" I asked I couldn't believe I hadn't got an idea.
"I want to divorce her. I don't love her anymore but how do I tell her that?"
"You could have told me Mikey!" I whispered.
"No because you have a perfect life…"
"Mikey, I always stand behind you no matter what you know that!"
We kept on talking until he was sober enough to promise he wouldn't drink again, at least not this much but he would only keep his promise if I stopped slicing my wrists open… I don't know if we could hold our promises but at least we tried.
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