Anybody remember the movie "Home On the Range"? It's not the best Disney movie but it was cute for what it was. But it would have been better if they used human characters instead of animals. Keep the heroes as ladies, cause that would have been great for a Western story. With that said, enjoy this version!

Gildarts and Cana had lost everything, no thanks to Jiemma and the Sabertooth gang. Somehow, they stole their entire cattle herd from under their noses. Gildarts couldn't afford to keep their ranch so he sold it off and made arrangements for his daughter to stay at a family friends farm while he went further out West. Cana was asleep in the back of the wagon while her dad was driving when he called her and said they were almost there; the place was called "Patch of Heaven." It was a quaint little farm; probably less than half the size of what her ranch was. It was owned by a woman named Grandine, who met them at the gate.

"Hello there," she called. "Glad you made it safely."

"Hey there Grandine. Thanks again for takin' in my daughter. But I gotta warn ya though, she's a bit headstrong," Gildarts gave Cana a wink, to which she promptly swatted his arm.

"Oh don't you worry Gildarts, I'm sure she'll fit right in. I'll give ya two a minuet to say goodbye."

Grandine walked off a ways to give them some privacy.

"Well, guess this is it," Gildarts said.

"Yeah. Are you planning on coming back?"

"Maybe; I don't know. But don't you think it's time you made your own way? This place might be a good start."

Cana turned to get a good look at the farm. It looked pleasant sure, but probably not as fun as a cattle ranch but she'd make do. Maybe the slower pace was just what she needed.

"I guess I could give it a shot."

"That's my girl. I'll send a telegram when I get settled."

The two of them hugged and Gildarts climbed back onto the wagon and took off after Cana gathered her things.

"Don't you worry Cana, I think you're gonna like it here," said Grandine.

Meanwhile, Erza was putting hay into the trough for the cows to eat when she heard a commotion. It seems the triplets, belonging to Alzack and Bisca, were giving Makarov, or Gramps as everyone called him, trouble. She saw Juvia walk by with a basket of apples.

"Juvia, could you go see what the triplets did to Gramps? I'm not in the mood to deal with it."

"Of course, Erza! I'll make you proud!"

The bluenette bounced over to Gramps' usual spot on the porch with triplet boys yelling at him in unison, calling him a "Can Hog".

"Get off my case you little whippersnappers," he guffed.

"Whoa, whoa. I'm sensing a lot negative energy here," said Juvia.

"Gramps took our can," cried the first one.

"And now he says it's his can," cried the second one.

"Now let's not play the shame and blame game. This is an organic problem and there's a holistic solution."

Juvia was always a bit on the odd side; especially when she said things like that.

"You don't get this whole farm concept do you kiddo," said a confused Gramps.

After a brief pause, the third triplet spoke up.

"Kill the goat!"

The three boys jumped Gramps as they wrestled for the can they both claimed was theirs. All Juvia could do was watch as she felt helpless to stop them from fighting. Then, Erza stepped in; grabbing the can out of midair. The boys groaned.

"Uh-oh," said the first one.

"Sorry, Erza," said the second one.

"Boys, why can't you leave Gramps alone?"

"Yeah, why can't ya?!"

"The poor old goat needs his rest."

"That's right! I need it!"

"Now, run along and take your can with you," said Erza as she threw the can toward the fields and the boys chased it happily.

"Yeah, you take that can...HEY! Get back here you green haired devils!"

"Gramps! Don't you have enough cans of your own?"

"No, not really," he said indicating the pile of cans next to him.

Back at the front gate, Grandine was telling Cana a bit about how she started the farm.

"I wanted to create a place for those who needed a place to get a fresh start. A lot of the people who live here lost their homesteads. Either through natural disasters or bad luck with trouble makers or not being able to sustain it themselves. Some have come and gone, but I think you'll like the ones who've made this place their permanent home. Oh look, there's one of them now. Lucy!"

Lucy was in the field gathering lavender to make soap and other smell good items. The blonde looked up and smiled at Grandine.

"Hi Grandine! See we have a newcomer."

"We do! Could you gather everyone so she can meet them?"

"Yes ma'am!" Lucy raced back the homestead toward Erza and Juvia. "Hey Erza! We gotta newcomer!"

That got the attention of everyone else on the farm. Alzack and Bisca came in from the corn fields and their children, the three boys and their daughter, also joined them. Jet, Droy and Levy came from the apple grove. Wendy and Nab came out from the barn. Once everyone made it to the front of the homestead, Grandine introduced Cana.

"Everyone! This here is Cana! Three time winner of the Houston Rodeo Bucking Bronco competition and the former drinking champion of Quatro Cerberus."

"Just what we need; a drunk," snarled Erza under her breath.

"Now I want ya'll to make her feel right at home, you hear me," said Grandine heading out toward the carrot patch.

"Hey there everybody," said Cana as she took her flask out.

This caused Erza to roll her eyes but, she needed to be the mature one so she approached the woman.

"Hello there, Cana. It's nice to see a new face around here."

"Hi," said Juvia.

"No flashy trophies around here; just good old fashioned hard workers."

"Hi," waved Juvia.

"Workin' stiffs, huh? Boy I remember those days," laughed Cana. Then she felt someone tap her leg.

"Wow, you got the biggest boobs I've ever seen," said Asuka, Alzack and Bisca's daughter.

"Asuka," reprimanded an embarrassed Bisca.

"Well, if you're in charge I'll take that as a compliment," smirked Cana. "And if not I guess I'll have to sit on ya."

"Mom!"

"Hey, I'm only kidding," laughed Cana as she side-hugged Asuka. "Say, what's this you got jammed up in your ear?" Cana pretended she pulled a silver dollar coin from Asuka's ear.

"Whoa," Asuka cried.

It didn't take long for her brothers to try get in on the action. Cana acted like she pulled silver dollar coins from their ears as well.

"Don't spend it all in one place," she said. She then picked up an apple from the basket that sat next to other produce and took a bite. "Wow, I've never tasted an apple as good as this."

"That's because we have the best produce in the whole county," said Alzack.

"Yeah, in fact, today's market day," said Lucy. "Nab, did you finish milking the cows yet?"

"Wendy and I just finished when you called about Cana," he said.

"We just need help bringing the jugs out," said Wendy.

"Droy and I will help," said Jet.

As Jet, Droy, Nab and Wendy went back into the barn; Alzack and Bisca said they'd bring the wagon around and help load it.

"Cana? Would you like to join us? Be a good chance to see the town that's close by," said Levy.

"Yeah, I might."

It was then that they heard a loud yell. Cana, Levy, Lucy, Juvia, Erza and the kids looked to see someone riding up on a brown steed. It appeared to be a young man with a brown hat on and orange and red shirt with a white scarf and badge and brown pants and boots with flames on them.

"Step aside! Comin' through!"

The young man pulled his pistol out and fired at a row of cans on the fence. He hit all three of them.

"Yee-haw! That's what I'm talkin' about!"

"Hey! Those were my best cans," yelled Gramps.

"Whose the hot shot," asked Cana.

"Oh, that's Natsu," said Lucy.

"Tch, city slicker," said an annoyed Erza.

"Natsu's the deputy for this part of the county. Igneel Dragneel is the sheriff," said Juvia.

"And Natsu's father," added Levy.

"He's awesome," said the triplets.

"And cute," blushed Asuka.

Natsu rode up to the ladies and tipped his hat.

"Good morning, ladies. And to you, too Asuka." He then winked at her and that caused her to go into a fit of giggles. Everyone knew Asuka had a crush on Natsu, but Natsu only had eyes for one lady. "Hey Lucy," he said after dismounting and taking off his hat, revealing his unusual pink hair.

"Hello, Natsu. Oh, we have a new member to our group. Natsu, this is Cana."

"Nice to meet ya," said Natsu extending his hand.

"Likewise," she said taking it. "Nice pistol work; you ever compete?"

"Not really. Being a deputy is hard work," he said with a smug look on his face.

"If by hard work you mean sleeping all day, then yes," said an irritated Erza.

That caused him to glare at Erza while the others laughed.

Sheriff Igneel rode up on his gray steed wearing a white shirt and black vest with a sheriffs badge and black hat and blue pants with black boots, had asked where Grandine was; Erza said she was in the carrot patch. He thanked Erza and dismounted his steed and headed that way. Eventually, the others arrived with the milk jugs and the wagon and began to load it. Sheriff Igneel approached Grandine who was tending to this years crop.

"Oh good morning, Igneel. Is that deputy of yours giving you too much trouble?"

"I'm afraid I'm not here for a social visit," said Igneel removing his hat to reveal bright red hair. "The bank has asked me to collect your payments to them."

"Oh, those tight wads are always crying for that. They'll get their money soon enough."

"It's more serious than you realize. They're losing money what with all the cattle men going under and if they don't get their money in three days, they're gonna auction off Patch of Heaven."

"What?!"

Erza and the others had quietly listened in on their conversation. When they heard the word "auction", they were stunned.

"No," said Erza quietly.

Igneel gave Grandine the bank notice. There it was in black ink; notice of auction in three days or pay $750. Grandine was beside herself.

"They can't take our place. We've been here through twisters and blizzards. Igneel, this is our home."

Erza turned and glared at Natsu.

"Why didn't you say something before," she snarled.

"I didn't know! I swear," he replied.

Igneel motioned for Natsu that it was time to leave. Natsu casted a glance of sympathy towards them and lingered a bit more at Lucy till he put his hat back on and climbed back onto his horse along with the sheriff. They were about to ride off before Igneel spoke up again.

"I'm sorry Grandine, I truly am. It don't have to be this way. All you gotta do is sell off a few critters and."

But Grandine interrupted angrily, "stop right there, Igneel! They're family! You don't sell family!"

"Now, wait a minute," started Igneel, but Grandine interrupted him again.

"Now you git before I start using words no good woman should ever use," she said angrily as she raised her garden hoe to swing it at the sheriff.

"Don't bust your gut woman!"

"Now go on Igneel! It is still my property! I said git!"

Igneel and Natsu high tailed it out of there.

"I was just trying to help," Igneel yelled in the distance.

Once Igneel and Natsu were gone, the gravity of the situation caught up to Grandine and she looked like she was going to faint. Luckily, Alzack and Bisca caught her.

"That sure took the starch right outta me." Alzack and Bisca helped Grandine up the porch steps. She gestured to them that she was alright now and they let her walk on her own. "I'm sorry everyone. I'm just plum out of ideas."

Grandine walked into the homestead in silence while everyone else stayed outside, unsure of what to do or say. Until a grumpy voice spoke up.

"Well, I think we all know what happens now."

"Gramps, don't start," said Erza.

"We'll all be homeless," he cried.

"Gramps!"

"What?! That's reality."

"I hate to say it, but Gramps has a point. Maybe it's time we all moved on," said Jet.

"Easy for you to say. You, Droy and Nab stand a good chance at getting a job at some other ranch. Alzack and Bisca could start up a homestead somewhere. Where does that leave the rest of us," cried Levy. "The only job us women could get is at a saloon. Gramps will probably just end up on the street."

"What other choice do we have," said Lucy.

"It does look hopeless," said Erza.

"So ya'll just give up on Grandine? When everyone else gave up on you," yelled Cana. "I for one will not! Let's just get this wagon to market and sell as much as we can!"

"We'd never sell enough produce to pay off the bank," said Nab.

"Much less in three days," concurred Droy.

"It's worth a shot! Anything's better than moping around feeling sorry about the situation," said Cana as she climbed the wagon.

"I agree with Cana," said Juvia as she climbed aboard as well.

"Yeah, she's right. Grandine never gave up on us so we shouldn't give up on her," said Lucy.

Levy agreed and she and Lucy hopped on board. The four of them looked at Erza.

"What?"

"You should come, too. While Lucy and Levy run the stand; you, me and Juvia could look for ways to make extra money in town," said Cana.

"No."

"Come on, Erza! You of all people has had the worst experience out of all of us. This could be your chance to pay her back," said Lucy.

Erza thought for a moment; Lucy had a point. She owed Grandine a lot, so Erza hopped into the wagon as the five of them left for town to figure out a way to save the farm.